I watched the new Bill Nye episode on Sexuality (“The Sexual Spectrum”) last night. I want to give it another view before I offer up some more detailed thoughts on it. There are some things I liked more and less about it, but in general I think it was well done, and I really enjoyed this ice cream segment.
Please can you do one where you’re married to Alfie but you’re also a Shelby, you pretend you aren’t involved in the Shelby business but you are and you blow up the train with Arthur and John leading to your arrest with the family and alfie finding out about your involvement and an argument follows after he gets you out of jail ?? So sorry it’s so long 🙈
Hi i don’t know if I’m have requested this before but could you please do Alfie’s wife shocked and a little scared of him after hearing about him giving Charlie to the priest. The reader worries that if they were to ever get in an argument then he may do the same to their children. Thanks
Trust - Alfie Solomons
Alfie tapped his cane against the iron bars that separated you from him, a disgruntled look on his face.
“How’d you know I was here?” You asked, not looking over at him. You were laying on the makeshift mat they had given you.
The last time Niall dated was back in high school but that was years ago when everything was simpler.Now he’s dating again and it feels like a brand new experience because all the things he knew about dating felt obsolete.
Niall remembers his date from hell with a girl Louis set him up with a few weeks ago.The girl,Megara, waltzed in the restaurant,to the back of the room for privacy reasosn, a few minutes late in a blue velvet dress that was clinging to her body and a pair a undeniably painful transparent heels.
The conversation was flowing fairly well throughout the wining and dining and Niall was having a good time until the waiter brought out the desert and Megara asked ,in her thick New Jersey accent, am I your bae or nah?The waiter was still setting the plates in front of them and Niall briefly caught the jump of his eyebrows the smallest trace of a shock on the young man’s face.Megara was straight backed in her chair,one hand holding the stem of her wine goblet.Her voice seemed so casual like the question was just off the top of her head but her eyebrow was was rapidly rising to touch her hairline said something differently.
Now,Liam educated Niall well enough for him to know that bae means shit so obviously Niall said no.Plain and simple then reclined coolly in his chair.The poor girl in front of him stared at him with her mouth wide open and eyes blown wide ,momentarily reminding Niall of a goldfish.Recovering,she smiled darkly,eyes narrowed like a leopard’s when angry.She pressed the bowl of the wine glass to her cheek before laughing lowly.Niall chuckled nervously before starting to ask what was wrong.The following series of events went by in a haze and Niall had no time to dodge the slice of cheesecake that was coming his way.
Megara burst into a fit of anger before leaving in a huff,heels clacking against the flooring and muttering that Niall was a fuckboy.
Driving home,Niall was confused even more so when Harry came over the next morning to hear about the date.
“She asked you what?”,Harry asked ,his head turning to watch Niall, voice higher at the end and his face scrunched up in confusion.
“She asked if she was my bae,”,Niall said trailing off.
They were out on Niall’s back porch,the sound of the mid morning birds chirping and leaves rustling in the breeze.They were leaning against the railing on the elbows, drinks in hand.Harry head retracted to meet his neck giving him a double chin and his eyes looked bewildered while he mouthed the word bae.
“Then when I said no she threw her cheesecake in m'face,”,Niall continued.
Harry was serious for a second before giggling.In a moment’s glance he was hunched over the railing laughing his lungs out when he heard Niall got cheesecake in his face.
“Oh ho!You got cheesecake in yo face-”,Harry rushed out,voice coated in giggles but was cut off my his own bout of hyena-like laughter.
Niall rolled his eyes and looked away from his curly haired friend,cheeks and ears burning a scarlet red.Harry laughed and sputtered before coughing and heaving with tears at the corners of his eyes before the laughter picked back up again.When it died down to giggling then he composed himself,clearing his throat and wiping away his tears with his ringed fingers,leaning on the railing.
“Niall,she means before anyone else…you know bae,”Harry said,”It’s a term girls like to hear guys say to them.”
Niall looked dumbfounded,”How tha bleddy hell was I s’ppose t’know that?”
Harry draped a loose arm around Niall’s shoulder,”Niall,calm down mate,I’ll enlighten you..but first hit me with that cheesecake story again…oh-aha hit me!’’
As Harry goes over some phrases and terms Niall thinks of himself as a bit silly for letting himself become so rusty in the dating department but can you blame him?His job keeps his schedule packed and when he wasn’t working,bet your ass he was sleeping or watching a series on Netflix and that regime didn’t allow much free time to brush up on his knowledge of the dating world.
The second date was planned badly because Niall did a half-assed job of absorbing some of Harry’s teaching and the girl was glued to her phone the entire time.Niall stayed 30 minutes,(trying to engage her in conversation but she wasn’t interested in it) before going to a Burger King to get dinner for himself instead.
He and the boys laugh about it over some beers and Niall feels a lot better after he talked to them even though it was embarrasing.They give him some pointers and some terms the “hip youngsters” use and set him up on another date.This time it’s with one of Liam’s friends
When Niall enters the posh restaurant he’s buzzing with energy and confidence because this is the face of a man who knows what he’s doing.Harry leant him a white button up but the light wash jeans and shoes are both Niall’s.
Somewhere between him striding across the hardwood floor to the table his confidence fizzled out and his eloquence was gone with the wind.Maybe it was when he saw you and how beautiful y/n looked under the soft golden lighting,hair down and cascading around her shoulders like waves.You stood and shook his hand,a pleasant smile on your face before smoothing out her mossy green t-shirt dress to sit again.
Louis said to start conversation with a joke but did y/n get the joke?Does she not like llamas?Was that one of Harry’s jokes?Shit please don’t think I’m not funny… or crazy.Niall’s already nervous and now he’s overthinking everything.
y/n asked about sports Niall is interested in and he starts saying things like Neymar’s hairstyles are goals and you know they are but why say ‘goals’ there?
Y/n says she loves Beyonce because Queen Bey encourages positivity in people and he says Beyonce slays.
Y/n’s confused because Liam talked about him in such high esteem,why was he being so shallow?
Niall’s tapping his foot anxiously because he wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and watch Game of Thrones now.He’s already shamed himself enough.This isn’t like Niall it’s like an idiot using all these dumb references.It may have worked for the other guys but not for him.
“Niall,are you ok?You..you’ve been acting off all evening,”,y/n asks eyebrow arched perfectly in question,pink luscious lips slightly pouted.
“Yeah,never been better…am I you’re bae or nah,y/n?”
She looks up at him with a bitch really look on her face because did he really just ask that?
Niall is grateful they haven’t ordered desert yet and there’s nothing to ruin this shirt because it’s Harry’s and he needs to return it clean.
“You do realise bae means crap right?”
Niall is red with embarrassment and wants to shrivel up and cry and hide under the table.
“Be real with me here,why have you been saying all these things?You sound like a teenager.”
Niall tells her everything.Every cringy detail about the past two dates and the boys ‘helping’ him with his dating.You don’t laugh you just smile and sigh.
“Can I tell you a secret?”,you ask.
“If it were up to me,I would have happily eaten a box or two of pizza with you or some jello no bake cheesecake because this joint is far too fancy for my liking,”you say scrunching up your nose at the silky red table cloth,chandelier and the waiters buzzing around.
Niall laughs whole heartedly,smiling a toothy grin.
“If we’re still being real,I’d be wearing sweat pants too because God knows I can’t dress myself,”,you continue.
“But you look so pretty…I don’t get it,”,Niall says shocked because you look stunning even in this simple outfit.
“Oh my friends dressed me and did this make-up,“,she says smiling and waving a dismissive hand,“everytime I try to do that winged eye thingy I poke myself in the eyeball,I don’t know how though,“she laughs at herself and Niall laughs along with her.
“Harry dressed me tonight in one of his shirts.I,personally, would have liked to wear my grey jumper and be all cozy,”
You gasp and nod in quick succession,“Sameee,but my friends told me the restaurant is too fancy for that,”
It’s half past nine when you leave the restaurant with Niall and he waits with you for a taxi.It’s late and you’re wearing heels that are waging war against the soles of your feet so you strip yourself of them and surrender.Niall’s holding your heels now and you’re wiggling your toes happily against the cold concrete.Niall’s just standing there listening to the sound of the car horns while trying not to look like a creep when he’s inhaling your strawberry scented shampoo.Out of the blue you wrap his free arm around your waist and he blushes but you smile contently,feeling little sparks go off where his hand lay and squeezed the skin the softly.
You pass the time playing I spy and talking about football but your cab pulls up and you have to go.You kiss him goodbye and slip him your phone number telling him to call you tonight.Niall nods and you take your shoes from him,clambering into the back of the cab.
Niall sighs happily and when he gets home he calls you making sure you got home safe before he gets into bed,smiling into his pillow before drifting off to sleep.
The thought struck him late that night and wakes him from his slumber.He’s a hopeless romantic but that doesn’t mean he’s useless.In the new fangled days of relationships he may not know everything but he knows he’s a true gentleman…and the owner of a cheesecake stained shirt.
Jeffrey Tambor says all he’s ever wanted to be is a professional working actor. He talked to Scott Simon about his new memoir, Are You Anybody? and his roles from Avis commercials to Maura, the transgender matriarch on Transparent. Check out their conversation here.
Hold, hold on, hold on to me
‘Cause I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady
The days following the appointment with the doctor were complete hell for the couple. Sharna went from doing so good to being completely silent and then at times almost manic. Val wasn’t sure what to do with her because minus the initial breakdown, she wouldn’t let him near her. The most interaction they had was during the nights when her body would instinctively move towards his. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but he would always wait until she was touching him before letting sleep over take him when it could. Peta had tried her best to help as well but she didn’t have any luck either. She was always met with the same silence or a question to do something different. Sharna refused to talk, dwell, or deal with anything that was going on at the moment.
That Friday was no different as Sharna sat on the back porch staring out into the cloudy skies. It was a gloomy day which was fitting for her mood. Val came to find her to see if she wanted to go with him to Maks and Peta’s.
“Princess, I have to had to Maks’s to grab some stuff for production for the shows for the studios. Do you want to come with me? He said that P and Shai were taking Balto for a walk so Shai could practice on his tricycle.” He watched her hopefully. He had a good feeling today was going to be a silent day however he was praying he was wrong. He missed his girl and after the news she was all he wanted. He understood where her mind was but at the same time, he just wanted her as well. His response was a shake of her head as she pulled her knees up and curled into herself.
“I love you. I’ll be back soon.” He said accepting her answer for what it was. The one thing that was constant was that if she was like this, pushing her did absolutely not good. He walked over to press a kiss to her head before he headed out.
The moment Sharna felt Val’s presence leave she fell apart into a mess of tears. She maintained what composure she could while he was around until that became too much so she threw herself into whatever she could. Cleaning, blog articles, designing, art projects, anything. She would then become so exhausted that she’d drag herself to bed and fall into a dreamless restless sleep. However the moments when she was alone, she let it go. She let the pain and hurt from the news she heard over take her body until she would fall asleep. This was exactly what she did, once the tears passed, she was met with the restless sleep. However this time it was not dreamless.
Sharna was walking along the beach looking for something. She couldn’t figure out why she was looking for but at the same time the sounds and smells of the ocean were so calming. The sky and weather did not agree. She could feel the waves crashing angrily against her feet and she could see the sky turning darker and darker. She knew she should head back in towards the house but some could see someone further down the shoreline and she knew she needed to continue. The closer she got the more that she could see it was a little girl, all alone.
“Hey, hey, are you here alone? Where are your parents or whoever is watching you? You need to get away from the water before the storm comes.” Sharna said as she approached the small girl.
“You found me.” A magical voice said as the child turned around making Sharna gasp. She was looking directly into eyes that matched hers as well as nose and freckles that were exactly like hers. The sandy brown locks were a perfect combination of Sharna’s natural blonde mixed with Paul’s brown.
“Hi mommy. I knew you’d find me.” The little girls arms wrapped around her waist as she clung to Sharna.
“You…no…you…you’re gone. I lost you. How are you? Wait if I’m here with you, am I?” Sharna said as she tried to comprehend what was happening.
“No, I just needed to visit you so I could help you because you’ve been so sad lately. Nan said I could come visit you and try to help but that I couldn’t stay.”
“Yeah, I met her when she came to heaven. She’s really pretty as an angel. You should see her, she has pretty hairs and her eyelashes are super long. Her hugs are my favorite because they remind me of what I think your hugs would feel like.”
“I…..oh baby.” Sharna said as she felt her knees give out and she sank to the sand.
“It’s okay mommy. It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m so sorry sweetheart. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you better. I’m sorry I didn’t do better for you.”
“It’s not your fault mommy, sometimes we just have to go with what God’s plan is. And maybe that was for me to be able to watch over you all the time and keep you safe.”
“Sweetheart that’s not something you should have to do. You’re my little girl. I was supposed to protect you and I didn’t. You didn’t even get to see the world at all. And now….I’ll never get…..” Sharna trailed off as she pressed her face to her hands. The rain started to fall down at that point but she just sat there.
“Yes you will, you just have to trust that it will work out.” Rose said as she climbed into her mother’s lap and snuggled into her chest. Even though her mother was in a huge amount of pain, Rose felt a sense of warmth pass through her as she finally was able to enjoy the feeling of her mother’s arms.
“It’s not. As much as I want a little one, it’s not meant for me Rose baby. Look at what happened to you.” Sharna said as she held the little one. Why she was talking to her like she was an adult Sharna couldn’t grasp but it just felt right.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have more. Just because Daddy….well yeah he still is my daddy. But just because daddy was mean and horrible and hurt you doesn’t mean that you get punished. I know the doctor told you bad scary things that I don’t understand. Nan told me I wouldn’t understand them but I wanted to so that I could help you more though. But yeah, just because the doctor told you the scary things doesn’t mean you can’t try other ways.”
“Baby, but sometimes when the world tells you no, you just have to listen. I was told no twice.”
“But third times a charm. And Nan taught me that you should never give up.”
“She’s right but sometimes when you’re a big person, it’s not giving up, it’s knowing when to back off and let the world take control.”
“But you can’t quit if you never tried.” Rose said adamantly.
“Baby….” Sharna said trailing off.
“No mommy. It’s the truth. You can’t quit something you’ve never tried. And you know how you told me that you were being punished and deserved this?”
“Well what about all the little babies who lose their mommies and daddies? Is that their fault? Should they grow up without any love or safety? Should they not get to enjoy mommy cuddles like this? Do they deserve to be put in mean foster homes and passed around like a toy no one really wants? When there’s people out there like you and Uncle Val who would love them forever and ever?”
“Rose, honey, that’s not how it works.”
“Yes! Yes it is! You’re just too stubborn to try!” Rose said standing up and glaring at her mother. She put her hands on her hips and took a true Sharna stance.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes you are! You fight everything. You fight Uncle Val even though he loves you. You fight Aunt Peta even though she’s like your sister. You won’t even go visit Shai because you’re afraid of facing the reality. You know you’re supposed to be a mommy. That’s why Shai loves you so much. That’s why this scares you so much. You know what you want and are supposed to have in life. But you can’t keep fighting everything. Sometimes you have to let someone else do the fighting.”
“Who? Who am I going to let do the fighting? I can’t ask Val to fight for me anymore. He’s done enough.”
“If I was you and I said that about you what would you say?”
“That’s not the same!”
“Yes, it is. Uncle Val loves you. He’s your family. Just like I am your family. He loves you to the moon and back, just like you would have loved and do love me. He would do anything for you. It doesn’t just end, it doesn’t stop being enough. You just have to trust him. And Nan and I watch you guys every day. We make sure you’re safe. We can’t change God’s plan but we can keep an eye on you.”
“No! You can’t baby me. You know I’m right. You’re just scared of losing something else and I get it but you have to try. You won’t even try adoption right now. You won’t even think of it. What if there’s a little girl out there who’s mommy got hurt by her daddy and now she’s going to be stuck with him or someone worse. You have to try mommy.”
“I don’t know that I can lose anything else. I can’t be told no again.” Sharna whispered which was her honest to goodness fear. If they tried adoption and it didn’t work, what else was left. Then she would have to face the reality that maybe she wasn’t really supposed to have kids, even though she had wanted it for years.
“You won’t. You just have to trust it. It’s not going to be easy but I promise it will be okay.” Rose said moving to hold her mother again.
“You can’t promise that.”
“Yes I can. I know. You have to try. Try for me Mommy.” Rose said softly.
“I’m not ready….I’m scared.” Sharna said as her tears began to fall as she held her lost baby in her lap.
“I know but you have to let Uncle Val in too. He can help. Even if he’s just holding you. And he needs you too. He’s scared just like you. For different reasons but just as much as you always need him, he always needs you. You have to let him. And Nan and I are always watching.”
“I don’t want to lose you again baby.” Sharna said as she realized Rose was becoming more and more transparent as their conversation continued. She could hardly feel her body clinging to hers anymore.
“Nan told me I couldn’t stay for forever remember. But I’m always here.” Rose said tapping Sharna’s heart before pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“I love you baby. Always. To the moon and back.”
“I love you too mommy forever and ever. Just promise me you’ll try. And let Uncle Val help. And when it does work, I’ll watch over her too.” Rose said as she started to fade completely.
“No…no…don’t go….I’m not ready for you to go! Stay Rose! Baby! No!” Sharna said as the little girl disappeared from her arms and she was left sitting on the beach with the rain pouring down around her. She began frantically searching and calling for her baby.
“Sharna! Princess! Come on, wake up sweetheart!” Val said as he tried helplessly to wake his wife who was clearly having a horrible nightmare.
“Rose!” Sharna said as she shot up from the lounge chair gasping for breath. She looked around as she realized she was at the house. None of it had been real. “No, no, she was there. She was in my arms. I held her. I did.”
“Who baby, who?” Val said reaching for her arm, nearly sighing in relief when she didn’t pull away from him.
“Rose. I dreamt with Rose. I held her in my arms.” Sharna said as the reality sank in and the tears started to fall down her cheeks.
“Oh sweetheart.” Val said gently.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for pushing you away.” She said as her eyes connected with his.
“No princess, you don’t have to be….”
“Yes I do. I push and that’s not fair to you. I know you understand but that’s still not fair. I’m sorry. I know you’re scared too.” Sharna said as she moved closer to him.
“I am, I’m scared for you and for us and for what’s next but I know if I have you it’s going to be okay.”
“She made me promise to try. For her.”
“Try what sweetheart?” Val said as he brushed a lock of her hair of her face.
“Do you want that?”
“I’m terrified that they are going to tell us no and it will be our last option and that will be what’s really meant to be but we won’t know if we don’t try.”
“We won’t, you’re right. We won’t.”
“That was from Rose, not me.”
“Sounds like she’s a smart girl, just like her mom.” Val said gently.
“I held her Val. I could feel her in my arms.”
“I’m sorry baby.”
“It felt good and it felt right. But I didn’t want her to go.”
“I’m sure you didn’t sweetheart.” He said brushing a few of her falling tears away.
“Can you….will you hold me?” She said softly as she looked at the floor.
“Always.” He said as he led her to the porch couch and laid down. He let her lay down next to him while he pulled her shaking body into his chest. His lips resting on her head. He felt her tears start to fall again this time with more force. He held her tightly as his own started to come as well. Their healing from this news had a long way to go but they finally had a small start.
Hold, hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady
Hold, hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady
**This is a shorty. I had this idea and even tho I’ve done something similar with this song, it felt right. I solely wanted to stick to that which is why it’s short. I hope you guys love it. Don’t forget to like it up and let me know what you thought. Love you guys!