I grew up in a family that is generally
pretty bad at managing emotions. It’s not that my parents were
particularly angry or unstable, but emotional issues were just not
something either of them were particularly adept (or as interested) in
working through. Thanks to a combination of my family dynamics, being
socially conditioned as male to not think about/talk about
feelings, being a little more logically inclined myself (hello, Spock),
and then the whole trans thing (hello, not talking to people about
really deeply important personal issues) - I learned to be pretty bad
about managing my own emotions, and have definitely had times where my
partner was the sole person I felt like I could talk to about
deeply personal stuff. I have a therapist now, and a few friends that
I’m close enough to open up about things, but it’s something I still
have to do a lot of work on. And when I don’t take the time to care for myself, I generally turn into a scatterbrained cranky person.
Mental health is just as important as physical health. And I think often our society forgets that (especially for male folks).
I think this article is
especially important for parents, and particularly parents of boys. I
want our kids to be able to manage their own emotions in healthy ways,
because it’s an important part of being a good, well-rounded person. And
emotional labor shouldn’t just be the work of women. The more they
learn strategies to manage themselves from an early age, the better they
will be able to adapt to challenges, to avoid crises, and (with any
luck) the more they will be able to help their friends/family/future
I absolutely do not accept the insistence that my trans body is grotesque and dangerous or that my health care is unnecessary or that I should simply not go to the bathroom. If challenging those narratives costs us elections, then those are elections I will gladly lose. We cannot be patient in our demand to lift up the humanity of our siblings in struggle.