transome

That One Fucking Unpronounceable Poem On Tumblr

Wonder how Americans say some of the stupid-ass words in the English language, vs everyone else? Even we have trouble sometimes. Other English speakers may enjoy listening to how this California girl does it.

From that poem post going around tumblr, here’s my reading of the abridged version of “The Chaos” by Gerard Nolst Trenité. 

If you can correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation – think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

— 

Gerard Nolst Trenité, The Chaos

The next time someone says that English is an easy language and makes fun of others for not speaking it well, show them this poem, and insist that they read the entire thing aloud.

Evening Come, Evening Go (1/1)

Summary: Emma and Killian enjoy an evening together in their home. 

Rated: M

Warnings: Smut, language

Words: ~4.5k

Notes:  As requested by @captain–kitten, here is some spoiler-based sexy times.

Also on ff and ao3


Leaning idly against the white, wooden archway that leads into Granny’s, Emma picks away at the young, tender vines that curl up the slats.  Here in the humidity – the sort that clings to the heels of summer, and on into fall – her jacket lies abandoned over the railing, the sleeves of her sweater pushed up to her elbows.  She’s sure she looks the picture of innocence out here on the patio, turning her head now and again to listen to the chatter of the katydids.  Really though, fingers pulling harshly at the greenery, she’s remembering – and quite vividly – the way it felt to be carried by Killian Jones just earlier the very same day.  The way his hook had caught at the stitching at her hem, the way he’d apologized afterwards, a red tinge to his cheeks.  The way he’d opened his mouth against hers, the way she’d just about kicked the archway she now fiddles with straight over, how his tongue

“What are you thinking about, eh, Swan?”

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flickr

Victorian “Dollhouse” 1890’s Queen Anne Elwood Indiana by John S.
Via Flickr:
Directly across the street from the house that appeared long vacant in streetview (but is now occupied) is this sweetheart of a Victorian cottage. It has aluminum siding but is otherwise 100% original looking with two fancy stained glass transom windows. The porch with the swing and white wicker furniture looks especially inviting. No modern house has this much charm.

in no specific order bcuz of my adhd ..!!!!!!! sorry if i forgot anyone i promise i love u .!! aand bolded r faves

@irltyrion @teethrots @sufferkin @ectoboys @unsatisfiedjudge @jyusimatsu @cupite @greysux @analmac @heartwiki @toukax @crypt1ds @twdc @incancore @ppyrs @transome-jack @tfwsans @teeth47 @robot-wank @femmerina @bloomingbboy @awoooooooooooooooo @ucupid @lvl59 @togainu @janepenvellyn @bipan @alphysbian @slime64 @leaflicker @ichara @realdagger @bw2 @a-s-g-o-r-e @creamyw @ylisseans @naezu @mgs3 @vaultbro @teargardens @irl-flowey @panfords @funeralcore @dipcifica @dennycolt2 @pepememer @manacchii @hannahisthedemonqueen @bebebug @dannystjohn @suffertv @ufoyouth @na9ito @grmbark @stonedmalachite @earthrots @jollywander @boyhymn @furbat @lucifer-riding-shotgun @astronauuts @blu-canary @todumatsu @gingeredpolarbears @dunyun-rings @marshtxt @friezatxt @besbee @milkinski @versussheep @gamedork @dolltear @pillbot @canarymelons @cthulhulore @opticalpopcorn @angelicexalt 
@magicalvoltage

8

John Lennon during the filming of How I Won The War. (1967) (Photo set pt. 3)

Directed & produced by Richard Lester, this black comedy film was based on a novel of the same name by Patrick Ryan (released in 1963).

Lennon, who plays Musketeer Gripweed, stars in the film alongside Michael Crawford (as British Army Officer Lieutenant Earnest Goodbody), Jack MacGowran (Musketeer Juniper), Roy Kinnear (Musketeer Clapper, who also stared in The Beatles second film, Help!) and Lee Montague (Sergeant Transom).

Scanned by me from: How I Won The War; Photos From The Film Limited Edition.

Demon's Lair

For arriku! It’s also here on AO3.

- - - - -

The pride cometh before the fall.

These words are what floats to the forefront of Yui’s mind as she awakens, her mind dazed and heavy. No one is calling for her. There is no immediate need for her to rise. Taking advantage of this, Yui lays on the carpet, her limbs too dull and languid to move even if she wanted them to.

“If any of these prideful brothers is going to be struck down, I do wish it would be soon…” Her mean-spirited thoughts surprise even herself. In repentance, Yui offers up a quick but sincere prayer to her God. Lord keep and protect her always, even while she dwells in the lair of demons.

She knows well that the darkness in her heart has swelled since coming to this house. Was it always there—lying hidden and in wait—or is this, too, something that they have planted within her?

Keep reading

9

John Lennon during the filming of How I Won The War. (1967) (Photo set pt. 2)

Directed & produced by Richard Lester, this black comedy film was based on a novel of the same name by Patrick Ryan (released in 1963).

Lennon, who plays Musketeer Gripweed, stars in the film alongside Michael Crawford (as British Army Officer Lieutenant Earnest Goodbody), Jack MacGowran (Musketeer Juniper), Roy Kinnear (Musketeer Clapper, who also stared in The Beatles second film, Help!) and Lee Montague (Sergeant Transom).

Scanned by me from: How I Won The War; Photos From The Film Limited Edition.

going back to school follow forever! school for me starts on monday but i still love all of u and hope u have a nice september 💘💘💘

a - f: @amphritrite 🌟 @arht 🌟 @autisticraphael 🌟 @avalnches 🌟 @barringtonhigh 🌟 @behindtheseas 🌟 @caninegf 🌟 @coffeebf 🌟 @coffeesforclosers 🌟 @corktree 🌟 @crashqueens 🌟 @divinemoss 🌟 @emogyptian 🌟 @emoist 🌟 @fablehavens 🌟 @fawnkids 🌟 @finecanine 🌟 @floodedlungs 🌟 @frslas 🌟

g - q: @gameovers 🌟 @gfalmighty 🌟 @ghostadventurez 🌟 @glowfae 🌟 @gothicsuburbia 🌟 @gothish  🌟 @goldenstump 🌟 @homestly 🌟 @infimityonhigh 🌟 @jcmeskirk 🌟 @josephtrohman 🌟  @lancelions 🌟 @lattelesbian 🌟 @loveblade 🌟 @mad-gear 🌟 @moongf 🌟 @nehbula 🌟 @panicatthdisco 🌟

q - z: @qpid 🌟 @rohsie 🌟 @roseqetal🌟 @roswater 🌟 @scarethyst 🌟 @seadot 🌟 @sevahn 🌟 @silkseraph 🌟 @snerf 🌟 @soft-fleurs 🌟 @solutionburnit 🌟 @spacebrats 🌟 @sugarsofts 🌟 @sukio 🌟 @tamaqotchi 🌟 @timetdance 🌟 @toastypug 🌟 @transome-jack 🌟 @warmlikehoney 🌟 @wearyyy 🌟  @wingedboys 🌟 @yovngermind 🌟

9

John Lennon during the filming of How I Won The War. (1967) (Photo set pt. 1)

Directed & produced by Richard Lester, this black comedy film was based on a novel of the same name by Patrick Ryan (released in 1963).

Lennon, who plays Musketeer Gripweed, stars in the film alongside Michael Crawford (as British Army Officer Lieutenant Earnest Goodbody), Jack MacGowran (Musketeer Juniper), Roy Kinnear (Musketeer Clapper, who also stared in The Beatles second film, Help!) and Lee Montague (Sergeant Transom).

Scanned by me from: How I Won The War; Photos From The Film Limited Edition.

Definitely Unexpected (9/?)

Definitely Unexpected, a CS/Frozen Jewel AU

A/N: So it looks like hopefully our lovers have come to their senses. But what will happen once all the cards are on the table? My dears @liamjcnes, @initiala, @kat2609, @clockadile, @lifeinahole27,@spartanguard, @lenfaz, I hope you enjoy this (especially the end bit) :) Eternal gratitude to betas,@the-captains-ayebrows and @lovemelikeapirate.

Cover art by the mystical land mermaid that is @liamjcnes

Definitely Unexpected

Summary:  Emma Swan, self-described “loner, loser, and complicated wreck” takes a much needed vacation from her New York City life by doing a home exchange with Liam Jones, a charming bartender from Brighton, England.  She could have never anticipated that what, or whom, she would find on her summer vacation was exactly what she had always been missing. (The Holiday AU, summer style)

Ch. 1, Ch.2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch. 7, Ch. 8 | Also on Ao3

Chapter 9:

Killian slogged through what felt unequivocally like the longest shift of his life. The boat owners’ various requests and grievances dulled in comparison. Emma was out there, her precious time here dwindling, and he couldn’t find himself caring one iota about the seasonal berth holder’s broken transom light or the complaints that there were no trolleys for people to use (because there bloody well should be if people would return them after use).

Even his co-workers seemed to be steering well clear of him. With determination in his eyes and fire in his heart, he wasn’t surprised when his patience wore thin with trivialities. He was working out a plan, something to say or do that would reopen the door that Emma had seemed to slam shut when she walked down the dock this morning.

He knew she had walls; that she was fiercely protective of herself, of her heart. He understood because it’s what he’s been doing since Milah died, maybe even longer. He’d shut himself off from the world, never letting anyone in. But this impossible woman, so full of passion and tenderness, opened his eyes and exposed something he never thought he’d be capable of - letting go and believing that he could find someone else. He had resigned himself long ago to the idea that he would never feel that way about anyone again, until he met Emma. Now, after even just a few days, he couldn’t imagine spending his days without her in his life. He wasn’t going to let her go that easily. He wouldn’t leave anything on the table. It really was now or never. He had to tell her how he felt before he didn’t get another chance. He clung to hope with a white-knuckle grip that she would listen.

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9

31 Days of Halloween, Day 31: HALLOWEEN

You got plans? I don’t. So I’m wingin’ this one. Whatever floats thru my transom is what gets watched. Because The Slumber Party Massacre has had us craving a mushroom and olive pizza ever since (“Life goes on!”), we’re probably steppin’ out for that, but hey, it’s Fridayween! Go out and get yer groove on. I’m gonna be hanging back and watching crazy crap. (In other words, a typical Friday night.)

The transom stern of HMS Vanguard during construction. Instead of having a gradual tapering off section, it was found that simply ending the hull anywhere within up to six feet of the rudder had no significant impact on performance. The loss of weight meanwhile gave an increase in speed and acceleration. It was a discovery made in the design studies for the N3-class battleships and G3-class battlecruisers of the early 1920s - colossal ships which never came to fruition.