transitioning safely

please help me

i really hate doing this i really really do but it’s come to the point where i physically, emotionally and mentally cannot take it anymore.

my family physically, emotionally and mentally abuses me.

long story short, i live in an abusive household. my parents are forcing me into debt by threatening me to go to university (when my job career path does not call for it). 

i cannot come out, i am not safe. they do not believe in mental illness and have THREATENED ME (physically as well) if i chose to take medication (which i desperately need for my mental illnesses, i still take it even with the backlash from my parents). they have threatened to kick me out and block my bank card and phone if i do not go to school, even when i dont need and and they make me take a ridiculous amount of classes, hence digging my own grave of debt. ALSO, adding to the school thing. i will have NO INSURANCE AND NO FINANCIAL AID (if i drop out) for my mental and physical illnesses in which i need medication for.

basically, im living in a house that in inhibiting me from transitioning, draining me of all my money and forcing me through an expensive education and debt and threatening me to do so . im sorry if this isnt making sense but im so tired and stressed.

i’ve done my part though, i have gone to school (from highschool, summer classes and university without a break), kept up my grades, DROPPED ALCOHOL AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE, i am now straight edge (this has saved me tons of money and has helped my emotional state tremendously, ive spent more time being productive and less time in the hospital and in therapy which also costs money) and even gotten 2 JOBS. i do commissions and i work COUNTLESS HOURS at mcdonalds, unfortunately because i have mcdonalds, my parents are now trying to make me pay for EVERYTHING, even things they want, and i really REALLY CANT AFFORD THAT.

my goal is to move out into the apartment with my boyfriend @animeadult and our awesome friend @cruciphix by april. however, my family has already drained my first paycheck and yet they take it out on me (even though it wasn’t a lot in all honesty, it was a lot to ME), ive been trying to earn DOUBLE by taking in more commissions and snagging as many hours as i can from mcdonalds.

im so tired and so desperate to leave my abusive family, and find a way to pursue my transition in a safe environment for me physically, emotionally and mentally. i genuinely apologize that it has come to this but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you can 

please donate to my paypal, its

and if u cant please spread this i just need to get out so badly i need to leave i really need to leave please help me.

if anything i will send a small drawing to those who donate as a thankyou, and you can even commission me its the same paypal just please.

i really need help and i know tumblr is a great place to go when someone needs it.

thank you for reading this and please share for me.

Some things they don't tell you about transitioning

• you’ll probably have bad acne. And also get facial hair. these two things together hurt like hell. Shaving is a bitch.
• the farther along you are in your transition, the less safe women will feel around you. Don’t be offended by this. If you’re walking at night, give women that you run across plenty of space. I’m sure you’ve walked by a man at night and clutched your keys a little tighter. Don’t give her a reason to feel scared.
• Carry extra deodorant in your bag. You’ll feel smelly all the time, and even if others don’t notice the smell, it’ll make you feel less anxious knowing you can put some on whenever.
• Your crotch will get more hairy. Like, a lot. If you shave, you’ll have a hard time getting it all. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it.
• Your pee and your crotch in general may change smell and become a lot more pungent. As weird as it is, it’s normal. If it’s painful, see a doctor.
• Your face shape will change. At first, you may feel really ugly. It’s just because you aren’t used to how you look. As it becomes more familiar, you’ll see just how handsome you really are :)
• Some symptoms of T are also symptoms of pregnancy. Use protection during sex and buy a pregnancy test if you’re worried. T isn’t a foolproof pregnancy prevention.
• Some days, shots are harder to do than others. It’s okay. Take your time, and take deep breaths.
• Get used to voice cracks! They’ll happen often, and may be embarrassing, but eventually you won’t even remember that stage of your life. Singing is impossible during the voice crack stage.
• If you haven’t changed your name legally, picking up your prescription may be hard for you. Just imagine you’re picking up someone else’s order. Hundreds of people pick up medication there daily- they won’t remember your name.
• A time will come when strangers begin referring to you as he. It may throw you off. Try to play it cool, and celebrate once they leave
• There will be days where you feel like shit. Try to take a picture of yourself or record your voice pre-T. Seeing how far you’ve come can be a nice pick me up on those rough days.

It’s going to be tough, but you’ve made it this far. I’m so proud of you and what you’ll achieve. You’ve got this :)

anonymous asked:

Hey, cis girl here and I was just wondering if you could do a post about general guidelines for cis people when talking to transgender people about being trans. I have a friend who has recently come out and I want to ask questions to understand better but I don't want to be rude? I get the don't talk about genitals thing but what about other stuff? Also I know this won't be universal and I totally get it if you don't want to respond or don't feel comfortable. I just don't want to mess this up.

This answer post linked here is a good place to start!

A basic outline, plus I think some other stuff:

  • Respect boundaries. Ask what they are, if they’re not specified.
  • If you want to ask questions about something particularly sensitive (family reactions, dysphoria, anything about their body), ask if it’s okay to ask them about it first.
  • Google it first, if it’s something that can be Googled (for example, information about how hormone therapy or surgeries work).
  • Generally do your homework before asking. Seriously. Unless it’s something totally unique to that person, there is a shit ton of information online. It also makes conversations deeper and more informative if you have prior knowledge and don’t have to be taught “Trans 101″ stuff already readily available online.
  • Keep your questions specific. (example I gave in that post: “Are you on hormones?” as opposed to “How far have you transitioned?”) This makes things a lot easier on both of you.
  • Familiarize yourself with current respectful terminology.
  • Don’t misgender them. Unless they specify otherwise, use their current pronouns / identity even when referring to them in the past prior to coming out. Keeping it gender neutral works, too (Ex: “When you were little” rather “When you were a little boy / a little girl”)
  • Use common sense. 
  • Be mindful of where you are before asking questions about their transition. Is it a safe time to ask? 
  • Don’t out them to anyone without their permission.

I hope this helps! Wishing the best for your friend. - Mod A

The Transmedicalist Debate

A simple list of arguments and their answers…

You don’t need dysphoria to be trans”

You do, without the condition you cannot safely transition. If you do not wish to transition, so be it, as transition is not the best option for everyone. This is not an excuse to claim the label of “trans” without having some form of dysphoria.

“Transmeds Gatekeep”

It is important to define the line between one with a medical condition, and one without a medical condition. You can be whoever you want, but if you need validation by assuming a label that is not yours, then the problem is not us gatekeeping but your lack of self validation. 

“I’m not dysphoric because I don’t hate myself”

Dysphoria is not self hatred, it is a feeling of unease towards your primary and/or secondary sex characteristics. This can manifest in discomfort, a lack of recognizing self, or depression and anxiety towards gendered events as your birth gender (example: getting an erection, getting one’s period, having sex, etc ) This is not a be all end all as I am not a doctor and symptoms may manifest in combination.  If you think you may be dysphoric, consult a doctor or therapist.

“Being trans is about identifying differently from your birth sex”

Dysphoria causes one to identify outside their birth sex and desire to physically be a sex one is not. It is almost entirely internal and physical, although “social dysphoria” does exist as an additional symptom. It cannot exist on it’s own with trans people. “Identity” in this argument is often described as a “feeling,” thus one should ask themselves “What does ‘I feel like a man/woman.” really mean. If the answer is exclusively anything but “Having X body parts, X sexual characteristics” then you should seriously consider the possibility that your “gender identity” is caused by external factors (IE sexism, feminist views, etc) or another mental condition (gender dysmorphia, social anxiety, life dysphoria, etc).

“Some people don’t want to transition!! Not everyone needs to transition!!”

In a world where transition is free, transition has no medical side effects, transition has no cosmetic side effects, transition is quick, transition has no societal bias associated with it, transition does not sterilize you, transition could be “non binary”, would you transition? If no to all of the above, you need to find yourself a new label and stop appropriating our condition. 

“Truscum/Transmeds want nonbinary people to die”

There is little no scientific evidence that nonbinary people exist thus far. Our belief is based on science, so it makes sense that some of us are skeptical of nonbinary people. That does not mean we all are, and plenty of us are fine with nonbinary people. Our beef as a community is with nondysphorics, not nonbinary people.

“Gender is an oppressive social construct that must be dismantled”

Sure, but gender to trans people is so much more than gender roles. Our condition doesn’t stem from society. It stems from ourselves and how we see our own bodies, not from how society sees it.

anonymous asked:

Cliff, I feel like I can never transition and successfully "pass" due to my height (I am EXTREMELY short). I know passing isn't the end goal for a lot of people, but due to several factors I just don't feel like I would be safe transitioning unless I could pass, so instead I'm stuck. Do you have any advice?

Assuming you’re FTM–yeah, you can pass.  If everything else about you looks male, people are going to think “huh, that’s a really short dude,” not “only women are that short.”  Height is one of the ways people scan for gender, but it’s not a primary indicator.

I’m pretty short myself, I don’t have facial hair, and I get “he” pretty consistently these days just from my presentation, voice, and body shape.  Sometimes it’s “he, that fourteen-year-old boy,” but that’s fine, I guess–at least it means I’m aging well?

But yeah, you definitely can pass while short.  It makes things a little tougher, but with T/workouts/facial hair if you’re able, it does not make it impossible.

I found this on Instagram but it apparently originated on 4chan, it’s dated today (5/10/16) so I hope if I can get this out there I can help in some way.
This is a truly horrible, cruel thing to do and if anyone knows the person who posted this or can contact them somehow, please do!!!
Hopefully we can help this poor woman have a healthy, safe transition without any asshole brothers getting in the way!!



Spell for switching with an alter

This spell was created by my alter Alyssa and she said to use it when I need her. 

It has been tested on multiple indiviuals with D.I.D. and 100% of the reports so far have been 

- a slow, safe transition

- co-consciousness

- no amnesia

The co-consciousness will persist when the alter uses this spell to switch with another alter and will lose effect when you switch without this spell (go to sleep or something). 

It can help you get to know your alters. Will not be effective for individuals without D.I.D. 

Use at your own risk if you have any other form on Dissociative Disorder as it has not been tested this way yet. 

Use at your own risk if you have never been co-conscious with an alter before and/or have any form of anxiety disorder. (Can be scary, difficult and overwhelming)

Otherwise no concerns, really.


Say this aloud: 

Exit the dark, enter the light 
Breathe this breath and see this sight
I summon you, friend of the old days
[alter’s name], come and take my place. 


Blessed be

This is the Cleveland Park metro station today due to the storm! Courtesy of DC Metro Connection

non-binary hogwarts headcanons:

  • hufflepuffs being some of the most intense and radical activists around because they care very deeply about their friends having safe spaces, and initiating practical solutions without necessarily having the school’s approval like designating certain bathrooms and dormitories as gender-neutral
  • ravenclaws poring over old books of latin and greek roots to make lists of gender-neutral terms for “witches and wizards” and researching safe physical transition spells for those with dysphoria
  • slytherins demanding that the school start actively and officially recognizing non-binary individuals, because the hogwarts administration is at the forefront of most social changes in the magical world and they don’t want to be held back by their gender identities when they enter adulthood
  • gryffindors protecting those around them to the end, fearlessly correcting wrong pronouns when their friends feel unsafe speaking up about it, and standing up to students and teachers alike when it comes to misgendering and erasure

the fact that sh*ila j*ffreys is still writing academically and being paid in full for it makes me livid like pls, wire all the money you got for ur 10 page gibberish tantrum (about trans women needing somewhere to go to the bathroom and how that’s “violent”)  to my own girlfriend’s account so she can continue to transition safely and in peace and face less chance of danger and real violence going outside / taking transportation / in jobs / in life in general.

I want to move somewhere where I’m more acutely aware of how much of a mess my life is but it’s also somewhere I could safely transition to having my life be not a mess and hopefully happy


Skylar Kergil @skylark11
made the post in the first photo and after Shane @lilbearlove
made the comment in the second photo from here Kergil lied and told people that they had encouraged people to send him death threats. He painted them as the “big bad violent black person” saying they were attacking him and being violent by calling him out and continues on to defend slavery and slave owners.
Kergil who has over 6,000 people following him on his person Facebook alone then proceed to screenshot, which included Shane’s name as well as other trans people of colour, and put them on blast exposing them to even more danger than they experience in their everyday lives as not everyone is as privileged and can be out in the manner Kergil is. This ended up with Shane getting a week long ban from Facebook because of the comment they made on the original post which now prevents them to do their fundraising work which allows them to support black trans women in their transitions and find them safe housing.

Kergil did not use his platform to call out people who were supposedly sending him death threats, he used it to actively silence the voices of trans people of colour, specifically black trans people. This is an act violence against the black trans community. This is racist. This is anti-black.
And so far he is getting away with it. This is toxic white trans masc privilege and it is rampant in our community and we cannot stand by it. I will not stand by it and I will not support anyone who supports it, him, or similar toxic personas who are within our community. I encourage you all to share this in anyway you can, especially my fellow white trans siblings, we must us our privilege and voices because our silence is violence.

Why I think non-binary genders might exist

First of all, what is “binary”? Most people outside of the trans community will immediately think about computer codes. They are truly binary, it’s either 1 or 0, either the presence of the signal or its absence. And can it be applied to such a thing as a human brain? It’s not like there is only one thing there that would differ a man from a woman. Some people love bringing up sex chromosomes as the proof that gender is binary, but we transmedicalists all understand that one might have XY chromosomes and yet female brain, so it is more complex than that. Secondly, the structure of a person’s brain is acknowledged non-binary, with men leaning towards certain parameters (and “leaning” is the key word), women to other, and transsexual people being somewhat in the middle. Theoretically speaking we can imagine a person whose brain shape is enough to give them dysphoria, but not enough to safely transition. And this person will be what I call “non-binary”.

So, before asking how can non-binary genders possibly exist, think how can only binary genders possibly exist. If you can come up with some valid scientific explanation why people function in a binary mode here, I’ll be interested to listen.

Oh, and a bit on intersex. Usually when I bring up intersex as an analogy for nb genders, people say intersex is a birth defect and not a valid sex, but non-binary is also a birth defect that covers a range of symptoms. Btw, even binary trans is a defect, because it not evolutionary profitable. But it all doesn’t make less real.

anonymous asked:

yea, i dont feel like i belong either. i think other pan people belong but not myself coz I dunno, I can pass as straight and I haven't had to face any oppression except a few people gossiping about me being a lesbian. I'm not straight but i don't feel lgbt either.

im in the closet and despite ‘acting gay’ or whatever im very much Not out or transitioning ( its not safe for me right now) and because of that i absolutely dont feel like i really belong with other lgbt people who actually took risks to be themselves openly and actually look/act/are lgbt

ive faced homophobia due to accusations when i was younger but thats about it, i dont really feel ‘oppressed’ or anything so i feel me being in the community would be insulting or something like that. i just dont have the same experiences and stuff and i dont think people want me there anyways