transgender allies

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Similarities between Blake Brockington and Leelah Alcorn

1. They were both Transgender.

2, They were both rejected by their families. (Blake was in fostercare because his family kicked him out)

3.  Their ages. (Blake had just turned 18, and Leelah was 17 turning 18)

4. They both commited suicide.

So explain to me why this well known Transgender activist, Blake Brockington, who raised thousands for charity and became the first black transgender homecoming king is getting almost no media attention. Leelah Alcorn trended across Twitter and Tumblr—even got her own Wikipedia page and article in People magazine. 

This is by no means a comparison or a contest for opression. But Blake Brockington deserves the same memorial Leelah Alcorn was given— if not more.  Three thousand to three hundred and sixty four( and that is including articles about him winning @ HOCO) .The only clear difference between them is his race. Preserve this young man’s life.

REST IN POWER KING, BLAKE BROCKINGTON.

Ally is not a word you can take, it is not something you stab your flag into and declare you have earned because you found it. Ally is a word given. A word that is not trustworthy if it only comes from your own mouth.

Ally is a passport; you may travel in these spaces but you must follow the law of the land. The word has no meaning if it has not been approved by the proper authorities. And the authorities are us.

We are citizens of this land and we continue to live here when you have gone home. You can read every travel guide, and know every intersection in our roads, but if you are not a citizen you are a visitor. 

Ally is not a ticket, a pass to sit down and enjoy the show. Activism is not a spectator sport, you are either playing or you are on the opposing team. If you want to enjoy the game you are going to have to shoulder some tackles for the players. Because we have bruises all over our bodies and you are wearing a suit of armor.  

Ally comes with a class. We are the teachers and you are the student. You will listen and will only participate when you are called upon. If you want to be an ally you have to first realize that your voice is not the most important one in the room. You are there to listen, and we will know if you didn’t do the reading. 

Ally is not a part of a gift bag you get for coming to the party. If you want the word you must come to the funerals as well as the parades.  

The word comes with work. It comes with struggle, inconvenience, and time. Ally is something you do. Not someone you are. It is a job, not a title. 

So thank you for your application. We will review it and get back to you in a couple of weeks. 

RePosting this as we enter Pride Month(s)

Pride is something I struggle with to some degree even having come out of the closet. There are days when it’s quite clear that unless I “present” as Trans NonBinary I will not be seen as such.

Some days nobody could stop me from “presenting,” other days it’s an honest chore, and there have been long stretches where I’m too busy disentangling myself from my own dysphoria to grasp what’s going on at all. So accept this friendly reminder:

You deserve to feel proud, year round, no matter what.

If you’re not ready to march - that’s fine.If you haven’t come out - that’s fine.If you’re too broke to go to events - that’s fine.If you’re just not feeling it - that’s fine too.

Regardless of the feelings that can complicate things, I’m happy you’re here. I take pride in simply knowing people like you. That’s enough. You’re enough! <3
LGBT+ Alliance 101

So you’re a straight cisgendered person and you consider yourself an ally to the LGBT+ community. But are you, really?? Well, if you commit any of the following cardinal sins, then I would say that’s a definite “NO.” Some of these sins, if you commit them, actually make you an asshole. But you don’t wanna be seen in that light by LGBT+ folk, right?? Well, I’m gonna outline to you some very simple instructions to help clean up your act.

1. Don’t go around telling your gay friend’s sexuality/gender to everyone you know.

I already discussed this earlier. It isn’t your place to be releasing that type of information, even if they told you themselves. And there’s always the off chance that you could be telling someone who’s VERY homophobic. Just let them come out on their own terms.

2. Don’t make LGBT+ people the butt of your jokes.

We already have a tough time in this society with all the hate and violence we receive. Last thing we need is someone making fun of us. And an “ally” joining in (or initiating the joke) is adding insult to injury. And majority of the jokes made by straight people promote harmful and false stereotypes about us. If you’re serious about helping us, don’t be that person. Just don’t.

3. DON’T! LECTURE! US! On how to respond to oppression!!!

We know FULL WELL what we go through and what society thinks of us. If anything, we clearly have a better idea of how we want society to accept us than straight people. So don’t tell us how to act or respond in the face of hate. You are an outsider to the community, and this isn’t something you gotta deal with every day.

4. Don’t fetishize us.

We are normal people just like you. We are not anyone’s circus or zoo, and we DAMN SURE ain’t here to be anyone’s kink. Fetishizing mlm, wlw, or trans people isn’t “being an ally.”  It’s gross. It’s dehumanizing. It’s turning normal people into sex objects. Looking right at you, Yaoi and Yuri shippers.

5. Don’t stereotype us.

We aren’t here to serve the “Gay Best Friend” archetype. All we want is to be treated like normal people.

6. RESPECT TRANS/NON-BINARY PEOPLE’S IDENTITY!

Don’t be the asshole that keeps mis-gendering them on purpose based on what YOU think they are. If they say they are different gender than what was assigned to them, then THAT’S WHAT THEY ARE. Respect it!

7. Don’t make jokes about how a Trans person looks better than you, a cis person.

Y’know, the one where you go “Wow, you look so hot for a trans person, and I’m cis and I look ugly lol.” By saying that, you’re implying that all trans people are supposed to be uglier than cis people. Your statement is actually a veiled transphobic insult. A simple “You’re beautiful” will suffice.

8. DON’T ask a trans person what genitalia they have.

Regardless of if they fully transitioned or not, it’s none of your business.

9. Don’t ask gay people about their sex lives.

Don’t go up to a gay person and ask them “Are you a top or a bottom?”, “Who’s the man and the woman in the relationship?”, or “What’s gay sex like?” Our sex lives are none of your business. We are under no obligation to tell you intimate stuff like that.

10. Don’t sit there idly while we are under attack.

If you see a queer person getting harassed, either verbally or physically, DON’T JUST STAND THERE. DO SOMETHING!!!! SAVE THEM! The situation is only gonna get worse. Silence perpetuates violence.

So yeah, those are the Ten Commandments of being an Ally. But one could also sum up these Commandments as simply this: JUST DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE.

10 ways you can take action and be an ally to trans people

1. Educate yourself. Find out how here

2. Use a person’s correct gender pronouns when referring to or speaking with them. If you aren’t sure what pronouns to use, it’s alright to politely ask. For example, you could say “what pronouns do you use?” or “Hi, my name is Shane and my pronouns are they/them. What about you?” Do not ask for a transgender person’s “real name.” You can also join this DoSomething.org campaign to challenge your classmates to not use masculine/feminine pronouns for a day.

3. Speak to transgender people like you would cisgender people, or people that are not transgender. Avoid comments that you wouldn’t say to cisgender people such as:

a. “He’s so hot. I’d date him even though he’s transgender.”

b. “You look like a real woman.”

c. “You look so pretty, I would have never known you weren’t a real woman.”

d. “What was it like being born a boy?”

e. “What surgeries have you had?”

f. “What’s it like to have sex as a transgender?

g. You’d pass so much better if you wore more/less make-up, had a better wig, etc.”

Read more here

#4: Seek out and listen to the stories of transgender people in your community. Speak out in solidarity when you read stories about transgender people facing violence or the startling number of transgender women who have been murdered because of who they are.

#5. Share positive things you’re seeing regarding why trans rights matter on social media using #goodlook and Laverne Cox’s #TransIsBeautiful

#6: Keep updated on what’s going on in the trans community by liking the TransAdvocate and National Center for Transgender Equality pages on Facebook. 

7. Call out gender policing that discriminates against a person’s level of masculinity or femininity when you see it. 

8. Advocate for all-gender bathrooms in your school or community. You can start a petition here to get gender neutral bathrooms on your campus.

9. Join a local Gay-Straight Alliance through GLSEN or the GSA Network, or learn how to take action on your college campus with Campus Pride.

10. Take part in Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to honor those victims of anti-transgender violence, on Nov. 20.

For even more tips on how to be an ally to trans people, check out this list from our partners at GLAAD.