transformer 300

Humans : Skull Island if You Squint (2017)

Where to start??? Like??? This movie was so??? EXTRA???

Cons:

  • So extra!!!

  • Movie write people speak not good. What are words?

  • Incoherent pacing, forced juxtapostitions

  • The forgettable cast of characters chewed and chewed at the scenery. The scenery had been chewed into oblivion. There were no scenery left standing.

  • Unnecessary Romantic Subplot™

  • Brooding Men, SNEAKY STEALTHY GIANT CREATURES, ‘humor’, silent Token Asians™

  • SO!!!!!!!!! EXTRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pros:

  • Hiddleston’s shirt was so small it barely passed the PG13 rating

  • After abt 100+ mins of sad people + painful mediocrity you get abt 5+ mins of the scene everyone actually paid money to see, and it did not disappoint

Basically Transformers + 300 if everything were giants = too.much.theatrics. Very self-indulgent; couldn’t let a minute pass without some kind of exhausting closeup/slo-mo. Kept screaming in your face through entire runtime yet left you feeling nothing, caring for nothing; not even Giant Things Punching the Shit Out of Each Other.

5.5/10

Watch if: you think 2014’s Godzilla was a snoozefest/you consider good storytelling a bane on mankind

Don’t watch if: you care about characters and continuity to a certain degree

youtube

People say they love behind the scenes videos to show how movies are made… well this is how a lot of the sounds you barely notice (but couldn’t live without) are created. Gary Hecker (Django Unchained, Hancock, 300), Dawn Lunsford (Whiplash, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1, Transformers: Age of Extinction) and Alicia Stevenson (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1, X-Men, Transformers: Age of Extinction) take viewers through the process of what they do as Foley Artists for film.

10

Bombay Sapphire Distillery

Transforming a 300 year old paper Mill with over 1000 years of history within a Conservation Area and Site of Special Scientific Interest took patience, dedication. Working with Heatherwick Studio, Bombay Sapphire sympathetically renovated Laverstoke Mill into a state-of-the-art sustainable distillery that showcases the natural beauty and industrial heritage of the site. 

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movies to look forward to in 2014
  1. that awkward moment January 31
  2. vampire academy  February 14
  3. 300 rise of an empire March 7
  4. divergent March 21
  5. a haunted house 2 March 28
  6. captain america: the winter solider April 4
  7. rio 2 April 11
  8. the amazing spider-man 2 May 2
  9. x-men: days of future past May 23
  10. maleficent May 30
  11. the fault in our stars June 6
  12. 22 jump street June 13
  13. how to train your dragon 2 June 13
  14. hercules July 25
  15. step up: all in July 25
  16. transformers: age of extinction June 27
  17. guardians of the Galaxy August 1
  18. the giver August 15
  19. the maze runner September 19
  20. the hunger games: mocking jay part 1 November 21
  21. the hobbit: there and back again December 17
  22. night at the museum 3 December 25