Deading in a Living Body
Let me just get that out there. A heart beat I can ignore. Just move slow and stay chill, and that heart beat just fades right away. Unnoticeable.
But breathing. Breathing never goes away. In and out. And holding it doesn’t even help because I can feel myself hold it. I can feel that need, that burn. It’s almost as bad as being touched and let me tell you, that is the fucking worst. Skin to skin contact is near in-fucking-bearable but at least it isn’t constant, every second of every single damn day.
I can deal with other people breathing. You like a deep breath of fresh air, good for you. But I just don’t want to have to experience that. It feels wrong, it makes me feel like I’m constantly in the wrong damn body, and it is the fucking worst.
Sorry this post isn’t really the informative or whatever but I just really needed to vent and, well, I haven’t been active on this tumblr.
Needing to vent. God. It’s just inescapable.