femmes who do liberation work get shit on so hard and if you can’t acknowledge that fact or acknowledge how you’ve been complicit in treating them that way, then you’re standing in the way of the movement and imma need you to step aside. femmes of color who publicly navigate being trans or queer or gnc who also do liberation work get shit on the most (esp black trans womyn) and if you can’t be held accountable by those most oppressed fighting for yours and their liberation, then you seriously need to step the fuck back.
cis-het men in the movement should heed accountability to femmes. instead, they often take up space over us, co-opt ideas, and actively perpetrate cycles of misogynistic abuse and what’s worse is, if one is manipulative enough, they can do these things with an intact reputation. no matter how many of these things are brought to light, they could walk away from a confrontation unscathed simply because we’re indoctrinated to trust masc of center people over femmes. i would like to call bull shit.
it’s really gross too when other women and femmes come to the defense of a man and cap for him before trusting what multiple women and femmes are calling out as abusive, anti-black, and predatory behavior and it’s especially fucked up when these people capping tell these femmes they aren’t communicating the “right” way.
it’s courageous af for anyone to call out abusive behavior so i feel like if we’re discerning between a right and wrong way to do it then really we’re perpetrating that violence by encouraging people not to speak up for fear of doing it “wrong”. and that goes for all because someone who identifies as a womyn or femme of center can absolutely be abusive as well.
so, for those of us struggling with this, accountability looks like: not doing the things listed above, not feeling entitled to the emotional labor of those whom you want to be held accountable to, responding to attempts at communication (whether it be in person or social media, knowing in person isn’t always accessible), and engaging in self-critique.
if you feel you’re above any of those things then really liberation work is not for you.
So there have been a lot of people and posts on here that are calling me names like “troll” or whatever because of my views on social justice issues regarding things like gender, sexuality, rape, feminism, and worthy causes like that.
First of all, most of these people are cishet white people of privilege, and thusly their opinions are literally invalid. They are certainly not worth your time, or my time, or anyone’s.
Secondly, I assure you, I am not a troll - far from it. I joined Tumblr not too long ago to join with like-minded people who believe in logic, justice, and fairness in the security of a community of people who are open-minded enough to discuss things that actually matter, like cissexual/cisgendered privilege, rape, etc.
People that have called me a troll or whatever include:
I think the decision to transition (socially or medically) should be because the motivated by the fact that the person in question can’t live without it. I decided a year and a half ago not to transition medically and my dysphoria as significantly lessened since I joined the Second Wave community. I’ve learned to own my femaleness and I’m more comfortable in my body. I’ve learned that as a female I have a right to be in female spaces and to have a voice in feminism. I still sometimes feel like an imposter but things have changed so much. I’ve learned that I can own my gender non conformity without being a transman. I feel like I can’t justify being trans or being a transman when I could live a perfectly happy life as a womyn.
Why I use “retransition” and not “detransition”
I feel like “detransition” implies that I’m going backwards and frankly that’s impossible. I will never be the girl I was 6 years ago before I realized I was trans. I know I grew as a person through my teenagehood in addition to my political and social views with regards to feminism, social justice, LGBT+ issues. Regardless, I’m a diff person now and my chosen name feels more genuine at this point than my birth name. Using female pronouns doesn’t upset me at all. I’m moving forward into a new part of my life where I own my womynhood.
I’m still here for any and all trans people who’re interested in gender critical theory and deconstructing queer theory and trans activism. I won’t try and talk you out of being trans, I won’t tell you not to transition or to detransition; I’m always just here to listen and support you. I’ll offer different options and discuss the roots of your dysphoria and choice to transition. I may no longer be a transman but my experiences are still with me and I’ll always be here for you 💓 (honestly, I know I’m like one of the most prominent gender critical transman on tumblr and I don’t want anyone to feel like I’ve abandoned them, that’s why I’ve been MIA on tumblr these last few weeks and procrastinated making this post for the last few weeks)
My name is Ben and I use female pronouns, I’m a womyn.
You don’t know what someone’s gender is until they tell you, point blank… But we also need to realize that closeted trans womyn exist. I’d almost say we need to be less aggressive towards cis men, in case they’re closeted trans women or haven’t realized they are. The damage that can do to a trans womyn can be irreparable.
If you are a lesbian and you’re dating/fucking a trans man, even if he’s not transitioning, even if he came out to you after you started dating, even if he calls himself a “dysphoric female/lesbian”, you’re committing a horrid act of violence towards trans womyn. You are directly implying that lesbianism is about dating afab people and that trans women can’t at all or can only be lesbians under specific circumstances.
Either break up with the dude or call yourself a vaginophile.
Womyn go there to ESCAPE from men. The last thing they need is a creepy dude lying about being a chick amongst them. Go to a co-ed shelter or find another way to work out your problem, but stay. away. from. womyn’s. shelters.
Every time one of you enters a womyn’s shelter you’re taking up a space that could go to a trans womyn in need who CAN’T because you’re reinforcing the very much wrong idea that female = presence of a natal front hole. It sucks men don’t have shelters, but that isn’t my problem. You T bros make more money than trans womyn ever will. Figure something out. If you can stick together to oppress trans women then you can stick together to keep each other housed.
TERFS need to stay out of womyn’s shelters too IMO. Most of them are “dysphoric lesbians” (AKA straight men) now a days it seems, but even if they aren’t they’re a danger to womyn, especially the rare trans womyn who might be let in because they blend as cis well enough. All trans women deserve to be in womyn’s shelters. That includes pretransition trans women as well. Doesn’t matter if she’s 6 feet tall with linebacker shoulders and a beard. She’s a womyn, and cis womyn have no reason to be uncomfortable with another womyn’s presence except for violent transmisogyny.
Please do not refrain from participating in tomorrow’s blackout. I know how discouraged we can be from expressing even our blackness because it does not compliment the traditional gender identity (under the standing social norms). Know that no matter what there are people out here like me that will unmeasurably support you. Our beauty is valid. We Exist. We matter. ALL black is beautiful.
A better purpose for the Light Girls doc would have been Light Skin womyn sharing what our privilege means and how we can recognize it in the things we do and how to stop perpetuating colorism and internalized shit onto darker skinned womyn (especially trans girls).
Every time you talk about trans men in social justice activism or discussions, you’re taking up time that could be spent talking about trans women. Activism that helps trans womyn by centering them will also help trans men, probably even faster and better than it helps trans womyn. Don’t allow blood on your hands by centering men.
If you’re a pre-op or non-op trans woman, you need to call your genitals a “clitty” or some variation thereof.
This combats the transmisogyny we’ve been taught to internalize, and takes a stand against the cispatriarchy that tells us are genitals are in line with men’s and that trans women can’t have pussies, clittys, and cunts.
Similarly, if you’re a trans man and call your genitals cunts, pussies, clittys, etc. You’re forcing violenty transmisogynist rhetoric onto trans women that desexualizes and dehumanizes trans women and helps cisbians exclude us.
The word female should be done away with. It will always stand to exclude trans women. It will always have the association of being first and foremost of the “female sex,” another fallacy used to oppress and exclude trans womyn.
Call us girls, call us ladies, call us women, but don’t call us female.
Contrary to popular belief, while attempts at socialization does begin at birth, the brain is much too immature to actually take it in and accept that world view. By the time it’s possible, the brain, consciously or subconsciously, has developed a distinct gender identity and can reject attempts at socialization that aren’t consistent with this. Trans womyn will view and accept female socialization, and their brain will ignore attempts at male pattern socialization.
The only male pattern socialization that some trans womyn do not seem to be able to avoid completely is ones that gender our bodies based on our genitals. Probably because it’s so aggressively forced upon us. THIS is the cause of dysphoria, not some phooey about brain maps. I was fortunate enough to be able to avoid this for the most part.
When we “show our male socialization” what we’re really showing is that we won’t be bossed around, excluded, and murdered by cis terfs, cisbians, T-bros, and cis dudes.
I consider any AFAB person who isn’t completely and fully in support with trans women a TWEF. If you support even the “littest” act of transmisogyny (all transmisogyny is huge and serious) you’re excluding trans womyn and have blood on your hands. End of story.
Think “biological sex” is real? Twef. Think trans womyn are male? Twef. Think trans womyn are “male socialized? Twef. Want “Female only” or “AFAB only” spaces? Twef. Don’t want to share a bathroom or locker room with a trans womyn? Twef. Don’t want to date a trans womyn because of her birth assignment? Twef. Don’t want to fuck a trans womyn solely because of the shape of her cunt? Twef. Don’t think trans womyn should be the leaders of feminism? Twef. Don’t think trans womyn’s voices are more important than yours? Twef. Say "male bodied”? Twef. Bring up chromosomes in a transmisogynist way? Twef. Don’t think trans womyn should be allowed in groups of cis female rape survivors? Twef. Think later transitioning trans womyn have “reaped a life of male privilege”? Twef. Think autogynephilia is ever real? Twef. Think non-transitioning trans womyn don’t experience misogyny? Twef. Think non-transitioning trans womyn benefit from male privilege? Twef, Think trans women have ever or will ever experience male privilege? Twef. Think non-transitioning trans womyn are “men who don’t want to be accountable for their privilege and oppression? Twef. Think reproductive rights discussions shouldn’t involve trans womyn? Twef, Think trans womyn shouldn’t have an opinion on abortion? Twef,
There’s plenty more, but if you do or think anything on this list YOU ARE A TWEF!
it seemed like a good idea to take these at 2am last night. New free dresses are the best dresses, and New York City is my own personal hell and I really want to stay longer//never go back to North Carolina.
Do you want to help change the way communities of color talk about gender?
Brown Boi Project is looking for pieces written by YOU!
We’re holding the Summer of Brown Boi, a national campaign aimed at expanding the conversation around gender-racial justice in communities of color, so we’d like your pieces about gender and race! Pieces should be 800-2000 words.
Deadline 7/31/15. Please include a short bio & pic. Send all submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you.
Writers need not identify as masculine of center to submit.