Name: Cadence Age: 30 @ url: @confidently-found Pronouns: he/him/his Gender: Trans Male
I am a high school band director. I love all kinds of music and all things Harry Potter. Avid camper and nature lover.
Way of contact: just message me on Tumblr 😌
Due to some health problems I’ve been having on and off for the past month, and especially for the past week, I’ve been feeling pretty down about myself and in general. It’s been really frustrating to be sick and in pain, not know why for a while, and for the past week I haven’t been able to do much but sit around.
Well, I woke up today and am feeling quite a bit better. It seems as though the medication is working and I hope this means I’m on the upswing.
So, here is a vanity-driven photo to celebrate feeling better. Fingers crossed this is the start of the end.
Hey I can’t find any of the posts I’m thinking of if anyone has any posts about top surgery recovery and things I should do or have that my surgeon won’t have told me, can you send them to me? I’m having surgery on June 12, which is in like 2 weeks, and I’m woefully underprepared because of everything that’s been going on for the past several weeks
Oh, HAY, it me, nearly 40 vs me at 14 or so. I’m Cuban-American and neuroatypical. Didn’t start transition til I was 33, and wow was being closeted rough.
So. It’s Transgender Day of Visibility and a lot of folks are going to be sharing their transition pics. Please, please, please resist the urge to tell them they were attractive before.
Speaking from experience: for transmasculine folks, “but you’re such a pretty girl” is constantly trotted out to discourage us from transitioning. As if our only value is in how attractive we look. (And as if there isn’t a shit-ton of misogyny behind valuing women and perceived women only for their looks and treating their appearance as an issue of public consumption rather than personal expression/fulfillment.)
I found only trauma in being told how pretty my girl costume was, because pretending to be cis only brought me pain. Every fight over clothes, makeup, hair, etc. was a night I cried myself to sleep. And I cried a LOT in those days, even if people didn’t see it.
We trans folk have an uncomfortable relationship with being told we’re attractive by cis people. Because “attractive” is almost always code for “cis-passing”. Because, for trans women, their attractiveness is overwhelmingly tied to being objectified as a sexual fetish. Because, for non-binary and non-transitioning people, they still aren’t being told they are valuable and loved.
Here’s the thing, cis friends: transition photos really aren’t for *you*. We share the documentation of our transition as a way to give ourselves and other trans people hope. “Passing” is overwhelmingly an issue of safety, and any joy at putting some of our dysphoric demons to rest is clouded by all these messages that we’re finally “acceptable” to a cis audience.
Transition photos are photos of SURVIVAL. Transition photos document RECOVERY FROM TRAUMA. Just… just think about that.
By all means, tell trans people they are attractive (we do need to hear it from time to time, same as everyone else), but go beyond the obsession with what we used to look like. If you want to know more about transition, Google it, the same way we all had to. Engage with trans folks on their other strengths and talents. That will go much further to signify your allyship.
Wolverine is 5'3
Genji Shimada is 5'5
Prince was 5'2
Lucio is 5'2
Bruno Mars is 5'5
Robin Williams was 5'6
Trans guys don’t always get the privilege of being conventionally tall but there’s plenty of both real and fictional men who weren’t towering giants either, and they’re still fantastic. Great things sometimes come in small packages, and you’re not any less manly for it.
Alan Belmont, 17, of North Central High School in Indiana made school history when he was announced as prom king, WTHR reports.
“They announced my name, and the crowd cheered so loud and it warmed my heart so much,” Belmont told WTHR. “The whole night was full of people cheering me on so seeing that they voted for something so big was incredible.”
Belmont celebrated the night with his girlfriend, Anastacia Cohen. The high school junior came out one year ago during his sophomore year.
Video online of Belmont’s coronation shows the audience greeting the new prom king with cheers and screams. Read more (4/25/17)
mid-transition trans guys don’t get nearly enough recognition on this site. it feels like all trans guy positivity is either geared towards pre-everything Soft Boys™ or towards ‘fully transitioned’ cis-passing men, so here’s a shoutout to all my in-betweeners.
here’s to the guys who are out but aren’t respected.
to the guys who are on T but still don’t pass.
to the guys who work out but don’t see any results.
to the guys who have binders but still don’t feel flat.
to the guys who have the right legal name but the wrong legal sex.
to the guys who still aren’t sure which bathroom to use.
to the guys who are impatient about their patchy facial hair.
to the guys who are insecure about how their top surgery scars are healing.
to the guys who feel stuck in the gray zone between ‘boy’ and ‘man’.
to all the trans guys waiting, it’s okay. you are worthy of respect.