Androgyny is so often considered the standard for non binary people which can be harmful to those of us who reject gender stereotypes completely. Your gender is valid! Your gender isn’t compromised! You’re genuine as you are.
At first we thought this might be too harsh to send to parents of trans youth as they are first becoming educated. Then we thought that this is EXACTLY what our children tell us they feel and experience when family does not use the right pronoun.
There’s nothing wrong with femininity or the feminine aspects of you, whether you choose to embrace them or not. Don’t let societal pressures to be a “manly man” dictate anything you say or do. Fuck them. Be you.
“These men are using their life experiences to make a lasting impact on the transgender community.
Janet Mock’s advocacy and activism. Laverne Cox’s rise to fame in Orange Is the New Black. Even Caitlyn Jenner’s recent Vanity Fair cover. All eyes are on these trailblazing transgender women who have helped to highlight the people and issues surrounding the trans community. But what about the often less visible faces of transgender men of color?
Here are just nine of the many trans men of color who are advocates, writers, ministers, scholars and entertainers making a lasting impact in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer space.”
10 Backhanded Compliments You Should Never Give Trans Folks
Despite the rise in awareness of trans issues, people still say some pretty offensive things. Trans people shouldn’t have to reassure people that it’s OK to wear bright pink lipstick, combat boots and have visible body hair all at the same time.+
Here are 10 things you just shouldn’t say to us:
1. “I never would have known you were trans.”
Well, clearly. There’s not just one way for a trans person to look. It’s also not necessarily a compliment to comment on how well someone “passes,” because it insinuates that if you had known you might have treated me differently. (And if that’s the case … get your stuff together!)
Anti-trans radical feminism is neither radical nor feminist. It’s the same patriarchal bullshit that’s been telling women they’re nothing more than walking genitals for thousands of years, but in fancy pseudo academic clothing.
“The most beautiful moments always seemed to accelerate and slip beyond one’s grasp just when you want to hold onto them for as long as possible.”
Here I am, February 19, 2015 celebrating another year of observing, learning, and growing. I’ve had my ups and my downs. I’ve gone through puberty at 25. My body continues to adjust. I’m adapting to my smile appearing larger in photos as my facial structure widens. I call this my awkward “maturing” phase, (similar to the one I had back in college). I celebrate the abundance of lessons bestowed upon me and the wisdom I’ve acquired. This year’s most important lesson is that visibility matters.
When I first began writing this blog, I intended to convey to friends and family why I needed to transition. I thought perhaps writing could provide insight as to what travels through the minds of people similar to me. I hoped those around me could learn a thing or two to ease the transition for all of us. I had no clue the blog could extent beyond my immediate social circle, and even compel others to think differently. I had no idea this blog could help so many other genderfluid people in their transitions. I did not expect my words to help others grasp onto concepts that may have previously been incomprehensible and enlighten strangers about transgender issues. I was naive to the idea that my words could prevent a trans* person from committing sucide or prevent another individual murdering from a transgender person.
I am now cognizant of the power behind positive words and images to eradicate ignorance, deconstruct social norms, and generate positive ideas about trans*gender people. Visibility is extremely important.
I will continue to write. I don’t know what depths of the universe my words may reach, but I do hope that they can better a soul, change a mind, or transform hate into love.
Today I celebrate another year of life, another year living as me, and another year of visibility. Nonetheless, today is not just a celebration for me nor it is a celebration of me. I celebrate the lives of black people. I celebrate the lives trans* people. I celebrate the lives of trans* women. I celebrate the lives of black, trans* women who change the world each day simply by breathing, living, and existing. Visibility shouldn’t have to come at the heels of another death or another murder. Everyday should can be a celebration for all trans* lives.
“The most violent element in society is ignorance.” Emma Goldman