I’m becoming increasingly distressed about Rosemary’s behavior. During public access, she tends to stare at people/look around/not pay attention until I prompt her to. It draws a lot of attention to myself, and it’s distracting to both me AND Rosemary. It makes me feel like my service dog is fake. I have been doing specific training on this lately, but it’s hard for me to tell if she’s improving. I feel like I’m constantly asking her to stop staring or sniffing or doing something she’s not supposed to. We’ll see what my trainer says on Tuesday. Sigh.
Tuesday. You know what it is. 😎
I don’t know what’s weirder; seeing who I used to be, or seeing who I’ve become. Both of these girls are me, but both have so many unfamiliar traits, whether it be because I’m not that person anymore, or because I’m still getting used to living how I enjoy and what’s best for ME.
I was happy as both, but now I have the opportunity and the realizations it took to get me to discover who I truly am as a person. And that’s probably the most exciting thing. I can be true to myself, to who I am, to the things I love and enjoy. I’ve weeded through the people who do & do not need to be in my life, and I will say that’s contributed largely to how far I’ve come. ❤️
Wahoo! Today was my second day at the gym this week, and my second day recording everything I ate.
As I noted last week, I got myself a personal trainer as a pre thirtieth birthday gift to myself (here’s a video of yours truly explaining the ‘why’ behind the trainer).
Last Tuesday I had the assessment session, which despite being awful to hear, wasn’t surprising. I’m a whopping 37% body fat, and have 37 pounds to lose. But baby steps folks, baby steps, as my first goal is to lose 15 pounds which will place me at 170. Tick tock. Tick tock. <-- me waiting for you to calculate my current weight. Because obviously you did. And no judgment here, because I would have too.
Yesterday at the gym I worked out with my trainer. We did 15 minutes of interval training on the treadmill, and then a full body workout for the rest of the hour. I think he went a little too easy on me, but it was the first working-out session, so perhaps it’s the calm before the storm.
Today I went to the gym by myself and walked on the treadmill at a speed of 3.2, at an incline of 10 for 40 minutes. The incline was sooooooo hard. I got all sweaty and gross, and towards the end really had to push myself to march on up that hill. I also read my first trashy magazine in about five years on the treadmill and felt stupider because of it. Also, I am so out of touch with pop culture, as I had no clue who half the people were in there.
Tomorrow I’ve got another session with the trainer, and hope to workout Friday *before* work.
And, of course, then there’s the food. Because we all know that losing weight is about the food. Well, I’m writing everything I eat down for the trainer. Everything. Writing it down has made me realize how much I snack, and how quickly calories add up. Including my beloved coffee! I’ll be aiming for 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day. With one cheat meal a week (which will surely be a date night, or event).
I’ve also asked my trainer to weigh me every week. I’ll post my stats here. I’m also going to take (yet again) official before photos.
So there you have it. A spontaneous, unplanned post on my part, as I note to whoever is out there this: there are 24 weeks until my 30th birthday. And I currently weigh 185. A pound a week is 24 pounds. That would place me at 161 which would be AMAZING. Wait, WILL be amazing.
Fuck. It’s so crazy the power food has over me. I mean, look. December 3rd, 2014 (my thirtieth!) will come no matter what. And either this plan will, or won’t have happened. And if it hasn’t… it will be because of cheese and treats and yogurt and fries and ohmygod. When I think about that, it’s so awful. Motivating, really. As I refuse to let food control me. I want to wake up on my thirtieth and just know I set a goal, and I kept it. So… 185 this morning. 168 days to go. 161 pounds then. And all I have to do is… apply everything I know, and actually, without excuses, do it.
The day really didn’t begin well. I had a big toothache during the night (from a teeth where i already had a root canal and which was treated again last week because the filling was a bit broken…) So I didn’t sleep well and i had to take an emergency appointment at the dentist. He gave me antibiotics and it felt a lot better at the end of the day.
I hesitated to go to my Wednesday gym classes because I was tired from not sleeping and these classes are intense (the trainer is a Les Mills trainer and she’s crazy XD).
But I told myself “Ok go to pump and we’ll see”.
I really did well at Body pump, increasing weights for the back and triceps workout. And after body pump i was so energized I stayed for body combat and I killed it! I was feeling so great and powerful!
And now it’s 2 days in a row that i have kudos from the trainers :) Tuesday he congratulated me for trying to make more push-ups on my feet each time and yesterday she said I was really improving form :)
Of course, i dropped dead at home. I forced myself to eat (went a bit over my macro of 1 oatcake, because I was still really hungry after my meal). And then I had a really good night sleep!
Today is rest day and I’m going to see The Judge with the bff. Can’t wait to see it! *big RDJ fan*