i just rewatched aladdin with the roommates and it got me thinking
aladdin wishes to be made a prince, but all genie does is get him a lot of stuff and money. that’s not what a prince is. a prince is the son of the king, someone in line for the throne. someone with a lot of money is just - rich. so what i think is:
genie goes okay, that’s a big one - and i can do it! but not on my own, not if you want to do it right. not if you truly want a chance to marry your princess for real, as a prince. and aladdin is a foolish, moral, kind boy - and he agrees. he’s fallen in love with jasmine, an innocent all encompassing love, and he’ll do anything for this sweet, clever girl he only knew for a few hours. so genie takes him across the desert, far from agrabah, and plops right in the middle of a skirmish and is like okay, good luck! and aladdin is like ?????
but there’s assholes with swords attacking a young girl, and aladdin doesn’t even have to think about that, just like when he stood in front of the whip for those little kids. there are three men against him, but he’s fast and clever and has been against a dozen trained palace guards. so it’s not easy to get out of there alive, especially with the little girl to protect, but he manages it with only a thin slice on his upper arm, and he’s endured worse for less. so he picks up the little girl and says “i think we should get out of here, hmm?” and she’s in a pretty red silk getup with tiny jewels encrusted on her like stars against sunset. and she nods and throws her arms around his neck. she won’t talk, only points in the direction of home, but aladdin’s okay with that, he’s used to quiet, scared kids. so he keeps up a steady stream of stories of agrabah, which seems almost like this other desert land. but there are more men with swords and aladdin is like what the fuck is going on, but he hides the girl in a corner and fights them too. and that’s how it goes all the way home. there’s no one on the streets really, and they all scatter when the men attack, and they keep on attacking, he fights his way all the way through the city with the girl on his hip or hidden away.
and he should have known, of course, but he was tired and bruised and bleeding by the time he realized the little girl is silently guiding him to the palace and he’s like why can’t you princesses stay inside??? but he walks up and the guards get one look at the child in his arms and whisk him through and multiple people try to take the girl away but she won’t budge from him, a stubborn pout to her lips as her hands remained locked behind his neck. and he’s finally tossed into a throne room where a tall old man is sitting in agony and two young men pace in front of him, each at least a decade older than aladdin. “they’ve taken our sister!” one of the younger men hiss, “i don’t care about their power or their connections, they’ve taken esfir, and we must go get her!”
“uh,” he clears his throat, “hi?”
and all three men whirl on him and the old man stumble-runs to him. esfir finally lets go of aladdin to picked up and twirled around by her father. the two men are rahim and shapur and they look in wonder at this dirty boy of fifteen who’s returned the girl to them, and he speaks with an accent and clearly is not from here and they get the story from him - he’s traveled across the desert because those in his own country want him dead. “you know,” rahim says as the king clutches at esfir in desperate relief, “you could have held her for ransom. you almost died saving her, and we would have paid handsomely to have her returned safely.”
and aladdin gives him a flat disapproving look, appearing in this moment four times his age, and says “people are not objects or bargaining chips. especially not lost little girls.” and rahim and shapur share an impressed conspiring look and they each grab one of his arms and lead him away. “hey! what are you -”
“do be quiet little brother,” shapur says cheerfully, “we really have to get you out of your rags.”
I need to tell you guys about the time I was almost swept off to another dimension on a ghost train or something
Because honestly it was… a really weird experience tbh
So a few years ago a friend and I were in Belfast, and it was getting towards evening time in the winter so it was already pitch black but still kind of crowded from the Christmas rush. We headed to the train station to get a train home and these trains were fairly regular, like about every thirty minutes or so which is pretty regular for that country, trust me. The trains varied from the newer, nicer ones to the ones that probably hadn’t been updated since the seventies, but they were all relatively decent and no cause for concern.
Or so we thought. We caught our train at the usual platform, but no sooner had we got on did we realise something was kind of off. This train was old, and kind of shabby looking. We made a few jokes and sat down anyway, figuring it was one of the older trains that we’d just never seen before, and things passed relatively normally. The train pulled out of the station, and it was only as we were picking up speed that we realised we were the only ones in the carriage. This was highly unusual, because it was still peak time for people starting to head back, and it being so close to Christmas, the train should have been packed. We couldn’t have got on an out of service trains, because they wouldn’t go to a passenger platform if they weren’t taking passengers, and with all the other trains needing platforms there would be no room for them. They would go to a separate part of the tracks out of the way. We were completely stumped.
We put it down to just weird timing and figured the other carriages probably had people in them, and tried to relax. The train was sort of rickety and unusually loud, and it didn’t exactly sound like what you would expect from a train. I don’t know how to describe it, but there was a kind of odd, distorted quality to the sound of the wheels on the track; it was sort of muffled but also louder than usual at the same time? Kind of like when you have a dream and wake up still hearing the sound from it, and it sounds both quiet because it’s fading from your ears but loud at the same time because it’s in your head. That’s really the only way I can describe it.
We quickly noticed something else that was weird. Several minutes passed, and we didn’t stop at the usual stop. We didn’t even go past it. Several more minutes passed and we absolutely should have stopped at at least two stops. There was nothing, and there was no train guard to check tickets, either. By now, we’re really freaked out. We’re passing through places we recognise, proving we’re on the right route, but we’re not going through any of the right stops and the train isn’t slowing. This probably went on for a good six or seven minutes, even though we should have been out of Belfast by that time. Finally, the train started to slow, and pulled into the first station it should have stopped at, only minutes after leaving the original station. By this point we’re so freaked out that we know we’re getting off the train, so we stand and go and wait by the doors.
The train stops, and the platform outside is empty – again, very unusual for this time. The doors thankfully open and me and my friend hurry out onto the platform, and almost immediately after our feet touch the platform, the train pulls away. No one else got off the train, and as it passes, we see there’s absolutely no one else on the train. No passengers, no guards. The driver would have been at the front so we didn’t get to see if anyone was there or not, but the train was completely empty. We watched it go along the track a short distance, and then the lights simply vanished even though there was nothing there to obstruct them. No trains on other tracks, no tunnels, no curves. That part of the track has great visibility, but the lights just vanished into midair.
We look at one another, and then suddenly we realise we can hear noise, and the platform behind us is packed with people. We just jumped on the next train with a crowd of other people and tried not to think too much about what would have happened if we’d stayed on that first train.
A sketch from when I was thinking about that Hunchback of Notre dame AU! Except it is totally
without a hunchback and instead features a possibly cursed Adrien who is sheltered but sometimes on display (guard in training?) and meets gypsy Marinette who works with an underground group possibly including Adrien’s mother. (Clearly, I have thought all of this out.)
The design of Adrien’s outfit was also inspired by @yaushie‘s medieval au!
How about Dragon Age 2 Companions reacting to Hawkes Mabari having a litter of pups and getting asked if they'd want one?
Aveline: She’s thrilled. “Thank you, Hawke.” she says, genuinely pleased as she holds a puppy. “I’ll take good care of them. One day, they’ll help me train guards.” She kisses the puppy. “Who’s going to grow up to chew on recruits? You are!”
Fenris: He’s not sure he should take it in, but his heart melts against his will as Hawke shoves a puppy in his arms. He stares at the pup as the pup stares at him, tail wagging and eyes wide with love. “I suppose it won’t hurt to have a guard dog.” he finally relents. “Thank you.”
Carver: He’s actually smiling. “Finally. A mabari of my own!” he declares as he lifts the puppy into his arms– the pup is already licking his face, and he grins. “Thanks, brother/sister.”
Varric: He’s not sure he can fit the dog where he’s currently living, but he’d be lying if he said that the puppy offered hasn’t already won his heart. He holds it, stroking the puppy’s head, and laughs. “This is the only time I’ll be able to hold the dog. Eventually it’ll be big enough to eat me. Oh, well, I suppose I’ll have to make do…”
Isabela: “Do dogs mind being on ships?” she asks, already cuddling the puppy as she rocks it like a baby. She kisses the pup’s head and laughs. “I hope so. After all, you’re going to be my first mate someday, right? Thanks, Hawke.”
Sebastian: He’s supremely honored as he’s offered the mabari puppy. “Mabaris choose their masters. I’m honored to be chosen by this majestic beast. May we serve the Maker together, as friends and allies.” He grins as the puppy licks his face. “Oh, now… thank you.”
Anders: “I don’t know,” he says reluctantly, “I’m really more of a cat person, and…” He stops as a puppy crawls up to his foot and reaches up, inviting him to pick the pup up. He does, and his heart melts. “I… don’t give me that look, I… oh, Maker’s breath, fine. Damn you and your puppy eyes.”
Bethany: She squeals as she holds a puppy in her arms, kissing its cute little head. “Oh, look at the precious little– do you want to be my dog? I’d love that.” She giggles. “I see I’ve made a new friend today. Thank you.”
Merrill: She squeals, excited and delighted. “Oh! A puppy? For me? Really?!” She clamps on Hawke with a hug and then hugs the puppy who’s imprinted on her. “Ma serannas, Hawke! Oh, look at them, aren’t they just the cutest thing?”
Byun Baekhyun. The man that possesses a piercing stare so dangerous, you could drown in it if you stared long enough. He’s got the looks and he knows it.
Heck, the whole university knows it.
He’s hot and anyone can establish that just by looking at all the girls that are constantly desperate to get into his pants. He lets them, of course, because he’s a horny bastard that likes having sex with girls only to leave them before morning comes. He rarely does the same person twice.
He’s arrogant and smug most of the time but he isn’t so much of a bad boy. He may smoke a pack or two but he doesn’t have any tattoos or piercings. He doesn’t necessarily get into fights unless you mess with him or his friends.
Don’t bother him, and he won’t bother you.
He’s just a guy that is cocky as fuck and always gets what he asks for.
Ranger: So these guards are the only thing in our way?
Fighter: Then I wanna intimidate them.
DM: Roll intimidation
Fighter: *Rolls* 24!
DM: They’re slightly shook, but otherwise don’t care.
Warlock (me): What?!
DM: These are trained guards. They aren’t easily intimidated.
Warlock(me): Fuck what the fuck they are! That’s 24 son!
When Allura and Allana were born, Alfor couldn’t have been happier than he was right then. His two precious and beautiful daughters; twins. When Allana was placed in his arms, he didn’t want to let go, he wanted to protect her and her sister from everything and everyone. And through the years he didn’t pull any stops to shower them in them most beautiful dresses and whatever toys they desired.
But as the years went on, it was very obvious that while they looked exactly alike; they were two very different people. While Allura enjoyed the dresses and playing dress up with their mothers jewelry and makeup, Allana was much more interested in the guards and the other paladins. She would choose to wear the usual training uniforms rather than the vibrant gowns, she would ask all sorts of questions about the battles that Zarkon and the other paladins have been on, enraptured by their tales.
But the most worrying thing, or the most worrying thing to the lords and dukes and elders, was that Allana didn’t enjoy being called a princess. It was fairly obvious to Alfor and his wife what it all meant; Allana saw herself as a boy, not a girl. It happens all the time with the people of Altea, many of them see themselves as the other gender and will make that change to feel comfortable in their own body. It was completely normal….to commoners. But when it comes to royalty, many of the elders and higher class expect those of the royal line to be perfect from birth; and any change to that is implying that they are wrong and flawed. And in some cases, from what he’s read, they even go as far as to make such children of the royal family be disowned and cast out from their home.
It’s a messed up way of thinking, Alfor knows this, but he also knows that changing their way of view will be a battle that could wage on for a decafeeb before making any headway on the subject. He still supports his daughter in little ways; ways that won’t out his child to the stern views of their peers.
He gets her fencing lessons and lets her join the guards training sessions as well as some of their guarding posts. He encourages her to ask Zarkon and trigel any questions she has. He’s even taken her on a few rides in Red when she’s depressed at not being able to be who she wants to be.
But her number one supporter is Allura, who always asked Allana to be the knight in shining armor when ever she wanted to play pretend, who would cheer her sister on when ever she was training against the bots. Who would whisper how proud she was of her for trying her best to be herself. Both of them know that if it got out to the elders and the other dukes and lords that Allana saw herself as a boy, it would be disastrous and that they could be forced to be separated. So Allana put up with all of the lessons on how to be a ‘proper’ princess, she would wear the gowns that everyone expected her to wear to balls and important diplomatic meetings. She would hold back he rflinches and cringes whenever anyone would call her princess. She did what was expected of her, at least the bare minimum of it all.
Her favorite times though was when she hanged out with her sister in the middle of the night, hiding under draped sheets between their beds and every pillow covering the floor. It was when Allura would use male pronouns only between them that would make Allana smile, when she would suggest all sorts of different names for her to go by if they lived in that perfect world. It was when Allura didn’t hold back whenever they trained in the middle of the night to help Allana get rid of her frustrations.
But she also loved being able to visit Zarkon and Honerva, or any of the other paladins on their home planets. Because there weren’t high elders or high officials of the Altean courts there, when she went to diabazall and the Dalterion Belt, or to Nalquod, the paladins would use Allana’s preferred pronouns, they would respect her as she had always wanted to be.
When Zarkon had betrayed voltron; he had also betrayed Allana. She had always looked up to him, always wanted to be like him and be able to fight along side him and the other paladins. But when Alfor had asked Blaytz to take Allana as far away from Zarkon as he could, to be separated from her twin and closest friend to have a slim chance of escaping Zarkon, it was the worst feeling in the world. And when Blaytz had guided Allana to the emergency cyropod inside of blue, she knew that he wouldn’t come back, but she followed him anyways. Hoping to find some relief from the pain of betrayal and grief for her people, her family, her sister. And when that cold darkness slipped into her mind, she eagerly followed it into her dreams.
• • • • • • • • • • •
She doesn’t know how long she had stayed in the Blue lion, sleeping through dream after dream until there were no more dreams to fill her mind, good or bad ones.
When she had finally awoken, Allana stumbled out of pod into the dark mid-carriage of the metallic beast. All of the heartache and the memories flooding back into the forefront of her mind. She couldn’t bare to be there any longer, running out of the lion and following the only glimmer of light to be seen in the pitch black cave. She staggered out of the cave to a desert, barren of anything living. So Allana did the only thing she knew, she walked. For days and nights, she walked through the desert until she had finally come upon a town. She quickly shifted herself to look like the being that inhabited the planet. She would have never guessed that two people would have seen her do this; nor would she have guessed that they would offer her to come live with them and their children.
As the years went by, Allana learned all she could about Earth and its cultures and history, sad to see that some of their history mimics the Galra’s. But she could never hate the McClains, they took her and immediately told her that they knew she was alien, and that they didn’t care if she came from some other planet. They have her that same feeling of home that her sister and father did.
• • • • • • • • • • • •
Allana whips around to see Fernando, the young son of her adoptive brother standing in the door way of the bathroom, looking at her as she tries to wrap the bandages around her chest. Fear races up her spine as the memories of being found out by anyone bulldoze through her mind. She didn’t realize she was crying or that she had crumbled to the floor until she felt Fernando hugging her, calling out for mama and papa. By the time they got to the bathroom, Allana was sobbing into her cousins shoulder, holding him close as if it was the last time she would ever see him (because it was, she would be thrown out and disowned and she’ll never get to hold him again.) all the while little Fernando murmurs that everything was going to be okay. (But it wasn’t! Can’t he see that?! She’s going to be cut off and forced to be on her own all over again!)
“Allana? What’s wrong sweetie? Are you hurt?”
“Allana, you have to tell us what’s wrong, you’re not in trouble, please just tell us.”
Shaking form head to toe, she shows her bonded chest to them, hearing the gasps from them only making her tears come down even harder.
“Allana, oh sweetie….”
She can’t help but curl in on herself, only to be lifted out of that position from her surrogate father.
“YOU’VE BEEN BINDING WITH ACE BANDAGES?!?! Don’t you know how DANGEROUS that is for your body?! This could have permanent damage to your ribs!” Allana can only owlishly blink at him as he starts to grumble about all of the negative effects as he unwinds the bandages from her chest.
“You’re…you’re not made that I see myself as a boy?” She whispers, afraid that if she spoke too loud some unseen elder will come down on her and tear her away from this family.
“of course not, we love you for you, and if you see yourself as a boy then you’re a boy, and we’ll support you.”
Fernando pops up from beside her and proudly states “I know! Papa said that those kinds of people are called trans-transgendered! Right?” Papa pats his grandchild on the head. “That’s right Fernando, and it’s perfectly fine if you are, I just wished you had told us before you started using these!” He shakes the bandages around in his fist “we could have gotten you a binder and look into getting you men’s clothing.”
Allana’s tears still flow, only this time it’s from relief and happiness. She-no, he- he didn’t know what to say, completely taken aback by how supportive they are. Fernando collides into him and hugs him as tight as he can. “And the best part is that you get to give yourself a new name! How about Patrick! Or Megatron!” Allana lets out a water laugh at her cousins choices of names, recalling all the late nights Allura and he would stay up and list off names. One name comes to mind as he looks to his new family, so welcoming of his true self.
Padme Amidala wasn’t Natalie Portman when she was crowned queen of Naboo, she was a fourteen year old child. She didn’t have Natalie Portman’s glare or sharp jawline or figure, she had baby fat and had barely hit puberty. Give my girl the prepubescent credit she deserves
[Edit] I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU COMBINED THREE OF MY FAVORITE AUS INTO ONE FIC, BLESS YOU
No but really this was great and I’d love to read more of it, I find the idea super interesting, like sirens are such a common and wellknown threat that lifeguards are hired specifically for their ability to resist them, super cool!
Sorry it took me a little while to respond to this, I enjoyed it so much I wanted to draw a lil smth for it
There was a time of the evening when it was easiest to strike. Sock had gotten it down to a science. When it got darker and cooler, the crowd on the beach thinned, and so too did the number of lifeguards. Three, two, and then just one, standing watch over the tourists still milling about on the sand and splashing around in the shallows. One life guard, however watchful, couldn’t keep track of everything at once, and there were blind spots to be exploited if you knew where they were.
Steve can’t sleep without his girl, and it’s becoming a problem for everyone around him.
A/N: This came to me forever ago listening to “Can’t Sleep Without You” by Brett Young (delightful song btw) I hadn’t written for Cap in a really long time so here we are! Hope you guys enjoy! (Please tell me if you did I’m needy af) Special thanks to @whotheeffisbucky for letting me bounce this idea off of her when it first came to me and to my clonesister, love of my life @actuallyasgardian for the read over once it was finally done.
*Flashback is in italics*
Warnings: Some swears. Mentions of a car accident, hospitals. (Also aside from me watching Grey’s Anatomy and ER years ago I don’t know anything about medically stuff, so yeah forgive me if it makes no sense.)
He missed her. Missed her every minute. After the Accords, the civil war - her words - being forced into hiding, Bucky, just everything, she stayed. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t, if she needed space. Hell, she and Tony were so close before everything; they were practically siblings. He hoped they still were. They must be, he was still able to talk to her regularly. Tony had to be involved with that somehow.
Being away was torture. This wasn’t like the times he’d go on missions. On missions he had a general idea of when he’d be back to her. Plus he was usually so busy he never had time to think about missing her. But here in Wakanda, he had time on his hands. Too much of it. Bucky was back in cryo, and it’s not like he could help with any of the doctors or scientists but he just couldn’t leave quite yet. Sure there was Bucky, but he needed to repay T’Challa in any way he could.
Is it plausible for a relatively inexperienced fighter to defeat a trained guard/soldier in a knife fight? I seem to remember a lot of references to how knife fights are chaotic and quickly fatal, as well as based a lot on luck. Assuming it isn't plausible, what advantages might the inexperienced fighter need (getting the jump, starting with the only weapon, etc) to make victory from their side seem likely? Thanks in advance.
The problem with this question is that guards don’t travel alone and soldiers don’t either. A good security setup ensures an attacker won’t have the opportunity to ambush the guards, at least not more than one. The entire goal of security is to not leave people alone where they can be isolated and picked off. Basically, if a guard can be ambushed then there’s no point in putting them there. If you don’t have the manpower for multiple guards, then you create choke points and controlled access.
You want people with overlapping fields of view. So if someone goes down or gets attacked, they don’t have to call it in. There’s already another person available to call in the attack and move to stop the attacker.
Ironically, of all the things Assassin’s Creed isn’t useful for, the later games are helpful for this. Even then Assassin’s Creed security is usually pretty shoddy in comparison to the real thing. (If you just had flashbacks to all the times your assassin got caught and killed on a stealth entry, that’s the way it often goes.)
A setup where the guards can be picked off one at a time out on the fringes is the opposite of security.
So, while a relatively inexperienced fighter could defeat a trained guard or soldier in a knife fight assuming they had the element of surprise, could get the weapon out before the soldier noticed, got their courage up, and rushed in to stab the guard/soldier in the side nine or ten times.
The question is could they manage all that without being discovered?
The answer is probably no. In addition to that cheerful thought when they’re discovered, they’re either dead or captured depending on how the other guards are feeling. While they might manage to kill one guard, the others will get them. This is the basic issue when it comes to any secured location, be it a prison, a bank, a military base, a castle, or a rebel stronghold.
Soldiers work in groups. Guards travel in twos, at least, with another somewhere above handling overwatch. Anywhere you find one, you can bet there’s probably around five more ahead all in strategic points overlooking each other. With the added bonus that they understand the layout of wherever they are better than the person trying to break in or break out.
The point of a secured location is that it’s secure. You can do it all with humans. Cameras are just dessert, they’re nice but they’re not necessary and the human eyes are positioned to cover the holes anyway. Fighting your way past a guard will inevitably lead to more guards swarming the area.
The best thing to do for someone who is relatively inexperienced is avoid the guards, rather than fight them. Someone trained in infiltration can fight, but the trick here is that they know how to. Even then, competent guards are no joke.