train emotions

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DBT Self-Help Resources: Ways to Describe Emotions

To be used with Emotion Regulation Worksheets 4, 4a

Also look at: Emotions List -  Using an Emotions List to help Label an Emotion

Search results for Emotion Dysregulation - Definition of Emotion Dysregulation

Source: Marsha M. Linehan (2015) DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition The Guilford Press

Copyright 2015 by Marsha M. Linehan.

Imagine buying Newt a new bow-tie before he leaves to go back to England.

Imagine the hurt on his face when he takes it from your hand, because he never thought he’d mean that much to anyone before. Living in the shadows of his brother has injured his self-confidence so much that he starts crying when you give it to him. Some moments felt like maybe only his creatures could care for him so adoringly.

Imagine him staring at it before tearing up, and he has to explain, “You didn’t have to. I—” He stops and clears his throat. What he wanted to finish was with, ‘I don’t deserve such gratitude.’ Wiping his eye with the back of his hand, he looks around for something to distract his train of emotions.

You can see the words on his facial expression, and you take a step forward. Hesitantly, at first before standing in front of him. He shuffles from foot to foot before glancing up at you, his fingers tracing the fabric of the bow-tie. For such a mundane exchange, he was getting far too emotional. You smile gently, cupping his shoulder, “I wanted to. It’s a gift… And if you ever wear it, I want you to remember what you did for us, for…” You took a deep breath in, and the chilly dock air stung your lungs, “For me… As sentimental and selfish as it is, I guess I don’t want you to forget about me.”

Those words rattled inside of him as he snapped the small box containing the bow-tie shut before shuffling into his beautiful jacket. Newt smiled at the object as it disappeared there, before directing his grin at you. “I’ve nothing to thank you with, that seems inconsiderate now…” You shrugged your shoulders, watching him reach down to grab his case before snapping one of the open prongs shut. He laughed quietly to himself, before feeling the sudden roll of sadness, “I’ve nothing for you but a few words. Those being, you’ll see me again someday. When my book is done, I’ll come visit you. Now that I’ve encountered New York, I doubt I could stay away for much long. The excitement sort of… Grows on you.”

“I look forward to it, Mr. Scamander.” You chuckled, “Don’t be too long.”

“Heavens no, I’d miss it too much.” Newt joked back, taking a few steps backwards to step onto the ship. 

“Good luck.” You said loud enough for him to hear. Something crackled in your voice as you spoke, something that Newt had caught onto and made him pause his motions.

“And to you, (Name).” Newt replied and reached into his pocket to trace the thin box you had given him only minutes ago. He had always hated saying goodbye, because some where more permanent than others; whether intentionally or unintentionally. He turned, his back now facing you. But alas, it was only a few paces forward he got in before turning around to look at you once again. As if in this very second, he needed one more glance to remember what you looked like, what your expression was, what your eyes appeared to be showing. He needed to remember these things. 

He falls, defeated to his emotions and takes the few paces forward once again to stand in front of you. Surely, it was an action you weren’t expecting and the physical closeness of his body was greater than it was before. “I couldn’t leave without asking something, (Name).” You raised your eyebrows, “It’s nothing bad!” He defended to your surprised face, “I just wanted to know if… When-” He changed his words quickly, “When I come back to New York, may I repay you for buying me a new bow-tie?”

This question made you laugh. Throwing your head back, tears finally trickled from your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks as you nodded in response, “That sounds fair.”

“I look forward to it.” Newt gave you a half smile, reaching a hand forward and wiping away your tears. You relished in the last bit of slow affection he dared give you before whispering quietly to you, and only to you, “Only a little while. I’ll pay you back, I do promise. and I am quite good at standing by promises I’ve made.”

Originally posted by sweetly87


I hope you guys liked that, because I had fun writing it! Reblogs and likes as always, are appreciated! Thank you, have a good one!

What I really love about Berena as a ship is the dynamic. They’re so alike in so many ways: both strong-willed women, experts in their fields, messy divorces behind them, not terribly close with their children, unafraid to speak their mind etc.

And yet instead of using these similarities for a cat-fight trope, the writers have moulded a delicate relationship out of their differences. From the trivial things such as Bernie’s mess and Serena’s order, very early on it was highlighted that their differences were the main focus of this relationship.

Bernie is chaos in Serena’s ordered life.

Serena is steadiness in Bernie’s changing world.

Bernie is practicality when Serena gets emotional.

Serena is kindness when Bernie feels alone.

These two should, by all accounts, argue constantly. But they don’t. They bicker, yes, but they also love one another fiercely. And it isn’t because they’re so similar, and they appreciate finding a ‘professional equal’ at this stage of the game. No, the qualities they truly appreciate in one another are the little opposites. It is their differences which bring them together.

I’m holding out for a hero to awaken the Light,
She’s gotta be strong, and she’s gotta be fast, 
     and she’s gotta be fresh from the fight!
(Racing on the Falcon and rising with the heat,
It’s gonna take a Jedi Knight to sweep me off my feet~! )

Riffing off the Disney/fairytale theme once more, because Rey is the hero we all need and I’ve always dreamed of, I’m in love…….. *__* 

also having fun with potential “level-up” Jedi outfits! (I know this is more PT than OT style, but I really like the PT tunics…) I can’t decide between Rey making her own classic lightsaber, or making a dual-bladed saber to complement her quarterstaff… the dual blade was just fun to draw :D

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I just finished playing 707’s Christmas route and once again, I’m on the train of emotions again. @cheritzteam has really did an outstanding job on this update, best Christmas ever. All the RFA members have different outfits compare to their main route, which I find it very refreshing. Oh and more more thing, there’s a phone call from someone you’re not expecting to get in Seven’s route. I’m surprised and scares when I received that call but I won’t spoil it. Have fun playing everyone!!

youtube

“How to Train Your Dragon” on ukulele
Just a simple thing I like to play for fun.

To everyone who is feeling discouraged in their training: 

  • you are doing a good job
  • your dog will still love you even if you have an off training day
  • sometimes your dog will not perform the commands you know they know, that’s okay, tomorrow’s a new day
  • if you screw up, you can fix it, dogs are adaptable
  • your dog is smart, they will learn what they need even if it takes months
  • training takes a long time, that’s okay
  • your hard work will pay off
  • it’s okay to take a day, a few days, or even a week off
  • your dog won’t give up on you, as long as you don’t give up on them
  • the internet is a wonderful thing, use it to help you (especially youtube)
  • if all else fails, ask your local reputable professional trainer

anonymous asked:

How can I unlearn my anger when I'm riding? I get very frustrated when I'm asking for something I know I (& my horse) can do, what can I do to be patient is what I'm asking. (I'm on mobile)

okay this ask is over 2 years old so don’t shoot me just yet.  

I struggle with this too.  And honestly, the best advice I can give you is to:

a) ALWAYS have a plan.  If you’re a novice rider or trainer (for context, I consider myself a novice) Its extremely beneficial/ almost essential to make a game plan.  Go over what it is that you want to work on during your training session.  For instance, I might want to work on developing lateral work at the walk.  Ill think about the steps I need to take to warm up my horse so he will be ready to do walking laterals, and I need to think about how I will apply my aids to get those behaviors Im asking for, and I need to asses whether my horse understands those aids well enough to be able to preform the exercises correctly.  To get to that point in my session, I may warm up at the trot, and canter to loosen him up.  I may begin with a simple leg yield.  As I do this exercise, I asses if my horse is responding to me in a way id like.  Even though I KNOW my horse can yield away from my leg, if he isn’t responding the way id  like him to, I need tell myself to take a step back and go over each little behavior that constitutes a leg yield.  I may hop off and work on sensitizing him to my leg by touching a whip to where my leg would be and rewarding him for responding to it.  I may also sensitize him to rein aids, were if I pick up the inside rein, he should shift weight to the outside shoulder and calmly drift away from me.  I could even break these steps into smaller steps if he’s still not responding etc. etc.  Its a little complicated, but training requires extensive theoretical knowledge, and if you make a plan on how to address a horse who isn’t doing what you’d like it to, you’ll be able to stay calm and reasonable in your requests.  If you don’t make a plan, you risk “escalation”, where instead of trying to explain yourself either more clearly or in a different way, you just make your aids bigger, bolder, and increasingly more aggressive if the horse continues to “disobey” you.  This is NOT the path to harmony with your horse lol.  Easier said than done FOR SURE, but practice this and you’ll get better.  Having a backup plan is really helpful too.  If something isn’t going well and you feel yourself becoming frustrated, its best to move onto plan B and start “fresh” with a new behavior.  As you gain more experience, you can be more flexible with your initial plan and adjust your training session as you go to suit how your horse feels on that day.  Flexibility is a learned skill essential to training animals and it takes time to develop, so don’t beat yourself up for not being able to to it.  I still struggle haha.

 and b) break the behavior into super small steps that make it easy for the horse to understand.  If you’re struggling to work on something that you know you or your horse is capable of, its completely OKAY to go back a few steps and work on it like you just introduced the behavior.  Thats called building a better basic.  It doesn’t mean that your horse “forgot” the training you’ve done in the past.  Think of this as an opportunity to build up the foundation of your training that allows you to move on to more difficult things that require greater degrees of balance and control.  Heres my shitty example:

Say you’ve been working on getting your horse to walk on an accurate circle without leaning to one side or the other (its difficult!)  You’ve done it and you feel that your ready to move on to trot.  Now you’re working on trotting on the circle, and then you feel ready for the canter.  You work on this for a few weeks, but one day, all of the sudden, your horse is leaning to the inside and just will not yield to your inside rein or leg.  Instead of fighting the horse in the canter, go back to walking (or trotting) on a circle.  There are SO many variations of walking/trotting on a circle and so many useful exercises you can do at the walk/trot on a circle.  If you work on these, you may very well find that not only has your walk work improved, but so has your trot and canter!

See how in the “after”, the base is wider? This represents the better foundation you’ve just put under your more advanced training.

I know a lot of people on here reading this will probably roll their eyes thinking “this is common sense”, but you have no idea how many professional instructors I’ve watched or taken a lesson with have insisted that their students and horses “already know how to do that” and make their students reprimand their horses for not obeying aids that their horse clearly never had a good fundamental understanding in… an example I’ve seen is when a trainer insist that their student keep their very crooked/ physically asymmetrical horse “straight” at the trot and canter when jumping a line of jumps, even when said horse hasn’t even the slightest clue on how to be straight and even at the walk! 

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honestly i was feeling almost emotionally stable until they did this

youtube

Made a video for those of you struggling with motivation.  These are some things I have to tell myself and I thought I’d share them.

Emotional Support Animals (ESAs): the Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth.

I have said it before a million times, but my inbox is still filled with hate mail in regards to this topic (which by the way anons… I will NOT be answering).

An Emotional Support Animal is defined as animal whose sole function is to provide emotional comfort to their disabled handlers. They MUST be prescribed by a licensed doctor the same way he would prescribe medication. That is the only way to have a legitimate ESA. They CANNOT be “registered” or “certified” online. All these online certification companies are frauds… no matter how legit they seem. They are not in accordance with federal law, and 99% of the time spews out false information that really makes the lives of legitimate service dog handlers more difficult.

The ADA, which is routinely cited by individuals who seem to be taking advantage of the perception that ESAs must be granted access, does not mandate free entry of a non-task trained animal into public accommodations. Because most of you won’t take MY word for it… let’s have a look at the LAWS, shall we?

Quoted from page 1 of the 2010 revision of “Service Animals” written by the Department of Justice:

“Under the ADA, State and local governments, businesses, and nonprofit organizations that serve the public generally must allow SERVICE ANIMALS to accompany people with disabilities in all areas of the facility where the public is normally allowed to go.”

It also states that:

“Dogs whose sole function is to provide comfort or emotional support DO NOT QUALIFY AS SERVICE ANIMALS under the ADA.”

There we go. AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL IS NOT A SERVICE ANIMAL!!! There is also no such thing as an “emotional service dog.” Stop using that term. It drives me nuts! A service animal and an ESA are two completely different things. You cannot just merge the two words together like that. Stop it!!

A few points on ESAs

  • They do not have public access rights. Even if you are disabled (which in order to have one, you must be disabled) you cannot take them out in public. No matter how much he keeps you calm or helps with your anxiety… you CANNOT take him out in public with you. Case closed. Stop the hate mail. It’s not going to change what the federal law has to say about your ESA.
  • You cannot (CANNOT!!!) simply register them online and make them a legit ESA (or SD for that matter). I’m sounding a little repetitive here, aren’t I? That’s because I feel like I’ve answered this question a million times and people still think my answer is going to change with some sob story to back it up. I’m sorry, but the only way to get an ESA is to have a licensed doctor prescribe one to you. Online certification is a SCAM. If you went online to register your ESA or your SD, you were scammed. Those fancy documents, vests, ID cards, etc that you paid top dollar for don’t mean shit when it comes to the law.
  • In order to have an ESA… you MUST BE DISABLED. Not just have a mental illness that makes you uncomfortable sometimes. You can’t say “I don’t like living alone, I’m going to get an ESA and he’s going to be totally legit because I can say I have sleep insomnia and he helps me sleep” (which by the way, I’m totally not making that story up. I had the most unfortunate conversation with somebody at the mall about it who really thought what she was doing was okay.)
  • Sometimes…. SOMETIMES… a state will allow legitimate ESAs in public. This is written into your state laws.

Now, I am not hating on ESAs. Please don’t think that. Faith was originally purchased as my ESA, but she later was put through training to become my service dog as my disabilities progressed and I needed tasks. To all of those who have very legitimate Emotional Support Animals, props to you. Thank you for taking the time to read up on laws, talk to your doctor, and do things correctly. ESAs DO serve a purpose… just not the purpose most use them for.

I’m here to answer any questions you may have on the subject. But please don’t message me to threaten or complain. This is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth when it comes to ESAs. And I’m sorry, nasty messages to me are not going to change that.

Adam helping and being a big part of the secret.
Rob standing up for himself.
Chas supporting Rob.
Paddy’s opinions being pretty valid.
Faith being bloody amazing and well up for a wedding.
Rob looking devastatingly handsome and choked up as he opens the boot.

I’m not going to cope with this. Too amazing.