“He hates Loki for letting go, for abandoning him. He hates Loki for being so selfish, for thinking only of himself in those final moments on the rainbow bridge. He hates Loki with everything he is because he loves him so much, because he was hurt so much, because he is just as broken and twisted and wrong without Loki as Loki is without Thor.”
Haunt Me, Loki secretly watching over Thor. At least he sure hopes it's secret, because if Thor knew, he might start thinking Loki didn't hate him anymore.
Wistful still, and still aspiring, post Thor 2: The Dark World, thor & loki (some thor/jane), 3365 words
Ghosts of dear temptations, heed; I am frail, be you forgiving. See you not that I have need To be living with the living? (”Rainy Night,” by Dorothy Parker)
It is strange, being dead. He left so much behind in Svartalfheim, and sometimes it feels as though he scarcely knows himself any longer, not when he spends every moment of every day playing at being the All-Father. He is still Loki, but sometimes he does not feel it - feels as though he is hovering outside himself, watching his illusion of the All-Father’s face go through the motions of ruling, shoring up Asgard’s defenses, rebuilding what was damaged in the attack, replacing the Infinity Gauntlet in the vault with a false duplicate and tucking the real one in an extradimensional pocket.
Loki does not forget Thanos, and he is sure Thanos has not forgotten him.
But yes - it is strange, being dead. Loki hears his name, now and again, though it is seldom spoken in his hearing - they fear the All-Father’s reaction to mention of the traitor son, perhaps. Volstagg asks, when Loki frees him, before he is sent to Muspelheim with Fandral.
“What became of Loki?” He asks carefully. So Thor did not tell them, Loki thinks.
“He is dead,” Loki says coldly, glad that he does not have to feign feeling in the All-Father’s skin - whatever Odin felt, he would not be expected to show it to his warriors. (Whatever Odin felt - Loki remembers how he bent forward for a moment after Loki told him, how he stood like an old man and then fell.) Volstagg looks stunned, and Loki adds, “he was killed in battle on Svartalfheim,” because he always did like Volstagg best.
Volstagg’s expression crumples slightly and Loki fears for a moment that he will cry, and he doesn’t not know what he would do then. “Oh,” he says, finally, and then draws himself up. “I am sorry for your loss, my king. Deeply sorry.”
Loki waves a hand, something in his belly squirming uncomfortably. “It was his best deed in years,” he says, and by the look on Volstagg’s face perhaps that was too cruel, but Loki cannot truly care. It was, after all. Was meant to be an end, and it would have been a good one.
She loves him, but it is a hateful, bleeding love. The corners of his mouth are like knives, and watching him smile terrifies her. But she is happy knowing she scares him even more. It’s why this works. It’s why they can do this. It’s why they can own this world, crushing it in the palm of their hands, setting fire to the dirt and the air and everything that cannot burn – the impossible is never too far out of reach. Not when they reach for it together.
Young Loki is standing a little too close when an adolescent Thor is experimenting with lightning powers he doesn't have full control over yet.
what follows, thor&loki, pre-canon, 1.6k, part one of the wwp (whump without plot) series (they aren’t going to be related except that they’re all beating up loki)
Loki’s ears were ringing.
His ears were ringing and he couldn’t make sense of anything. Someone seemed to be pounding on his chest and it hurt but he couldn’t figure out who it was or why they were hitting him or why breathing felt like he’d inhaled spikes instead of air. The world tilted lazily and he realized he was not, in fact, upright, and everything hurt.
He tried to breathe in again and heard an awful whistling noise but his lungs just filled with more spikes and he was fairly sure he was looking at the sky, an ugly color like a bruise, and a red-and-gold blur shouting something he couldn’t hear.
omg could you do a story where Thor is panicking internally over a long period of time because he's so sure that Loki is dead but he can't talk about it with any of his teammates because, well, Loki *is* a villain and then when he finds out Loki is maybe not okay but *alive* he is so happy and the team just doesn't understand it because Loki is so mean to him and yeah Thor feels pleeeeaaaaasssseee???
Keeping Time, thor (+loki+others), 2451 words
Thor kept a calendar of his own.
It was not for the various events and appearances requiredof the Avengers, or the schedule on which he periodically returned to Asgard to
see how his friends and father fared. It was not one he wrote down, nor one he
shared with anyone.
It was a tally of days only within the security of his own
mind, told to no one. At the moment, it was set to forty-seven, and Thor was
beginning to feel the first specters of fear. It was not such a long time, in
the scheme of things, but it was longer than sometimes and that was enough.
Forty-seven days since there was so much as a whisper of mischief from Loki
It wasn’t until the second night on Svartalfheim that Thor had a chance to stop.
It was not even wholly intentional. If he could have, he would have continued on. But Jane was exhausted (weakening daily, a fearful part of him whispered) and it was Thor’s duty to look after her, even if Loki made a disgusted noise when Thor called a halt.
With Loki sulking and pretending to sleep - or perhaps truly sleeping, Thor was not certain he could say, once Jane fell asleep Thor was left alone.
How are you doing, Jane had asked, gently, and Thor had shaken his head. She hadn’t pressed. In truth, Thor wasn’t certain how he was feeling. Wasn’t certain what he was supposed to be feeling.
There had been anger, when he’d burst in to see his mother falling, when he’d lashed out with lightning, but after that…it was as though he had been too full. At the funeral, he had not wept, though a part of him had wanted to, and since…he had flung himself into the planning.
In the quiet, though, and alone…Thor’s thoughts drifted to Frigga’s light touch on his face, her quiet reassurance, her strong presence that had been such a steady constant through his life. His chest felt tight as though he couldn’t breathe, and his head bowed. His instinct was to push the feeling away because it hurt, but to do that would be to push her away and that Thor would not do.
He pressed his face into his hands. If he had been faster, or stronger…
“Do not waste your energy in tedious self-recrimination.” Thor jumped, turning his head. Loki had risen silently and was standing a few feet away, his face impossible to read. “That is what you are doing, is it not?"
Thor’s teeth clicked together and he made himself subdue his anger, turning his back pointedly. “As you are so fond of saying, my thoughts are my own.”
"Not when they hamper our purpose."
"I shall not hamper my purpose,” Thor said, placing just a bit of emphasis on the singular. Loki’s lips thinned, but only slightly.
“Thor,” he said, voice chiding.
“I may not throw a fit as you do,” Thor interrupted harshly, “but that does not mean I do not grieve. Do not seek to tell me that I cannot. She was my mother as well.”
Loki fell silent, and Thor lapsed back into silence, staring ahead at nothing. After a moment his brother sighed and sat down beside him, though with some distance between them. “I do not doubt that you grieve,” he said, voice almost toneless. “I am merely telling you that you should not blame yourself.”
Thor’s hands balled into fists without his meaning to. Why should I not, he wanted to shout. Am I not supposed to protect my family? I did not protect you and I did not protect her. Who is to blame for that but me?
Loki’s fingers brushed his clenched fist. “Thor,” he said, his voice suddenly quiet and…strange. No, not strange - it was just that for the first time in a long time he sounded more like Thor’s brother than the stranger he’d been pretending to be. “We will find Malekith.”
Thor looked at him and said nothing, but he knew his gaze asked and then?
Loki’s eyes hardened, and his fingers curled around Thor’s wrist, gripping tightly for just a moment. “And we will destroy them,” he said, a note of savagery sliding into his voice, dangerous and fierce. “We will destroy them all, Thor, you and I. Malekith and all his kin will burn.”
Looking into Loki’s eyes, Thor believed it. And he smiled, very slightly.
does anyone ever think about how Thor has now (believed he) saw Loki die twice, only to have him come back, and how now if Loki were to actually die Thor would never believe it, he’d always be waiting, sure that Loki is out there, that he’ll be back.
always waiting, never quite managing to grieve, never quite managing to let go, because this time he’s not going to fall for it, he’s not fooled.
and years turn into decades but, Thor tells himself, Loki could be patient when he wanted something (wants, wants something)
Thor knows Loki will be back. (after all this time, he can’t let himself believe otherwise.)
early morning excerpt for a thing I’m writing for one of those whump prompts y’all sent me:
“You need a healer.” He released Loki’s left hand, reaching
out – though he stopped when Loki flinched before he even made contact.
“And what healer will tend me,” Loki asked harshly. “I am a
traitor, do you forget? What is more – a dead traitor.” Loki’s teeth flashed in
a mad smile. “I held my own funeral, you know. I debated about whether it would
be more in character for the All-Father to publically consign his disgrace to
the Void or to pretend it did not exist, but truly I was curious. It is very
interesting what people will say when they believe you are dead.”
The image flashed into Thor’s mind of Loki’s skin turning
grey, his frantic breathing as his hands fluttered over the hole in his chest. I’m sorry, I’m sorry-
Thor gritted his teeth, his grip tightening involuntarily.
“Do not be foolish.”
If you're still accepting them :) Quiet Me (from not exactly crying but from flipping out?)
Sitting on the edge of the shattered Bifrost, Thor remembered:
They were young, but not so young; old enough to go adventuring alone but not so old that they would go far. Thor did not remember exactly how the idea had gotten into his head - a bit of mischief, he thought it. Turnabout for those times that Loki had hidden himself from Thor only to reappear when Thor was on the verge of panic, laughing gleefully at his brother’s folly. “I was right there!” He would say, grinning. “You ran right by me!"
I am having a lot of Thor feels today, and I wondered: What does Thor think of Loki being a Jotunn and adopted? Who told him that? (because unless I missed something, it wasn't shown in the movies) What was his first reaction? What does he think now?
Oh man, I have thought about this and I have feelings about it.
I think Odin tells Thor - or Odin and Frigga - after a certain period of time. At first nobody is talking about it, and Thor is confused and grieving and, honestly, angry - because how did this happen, how did Loki go mad and nobody did anything and why won’t anyone explain what happened, and eventually it comes out and Thor is…kind of floored.
And doesn’t really know what to do with it. Because no, that’s not right. Loki isn’t anything like a Frost Giant, Loki is clever and quick and sure, he’s not like most Aesir but that doesn’t mean he’s Jotun, but there’s no reason for Frigga and Odin to lie about this. And then Thor is torn between anger (because why didn’t they tell him?) and confusion (this doesn’t fit with everything he thought he knew) and briefly, a little bit of horror.
I don’t think it changes anything at first about how he thinks about the Jotnar in general - Loki is an exception, he thinks, because Loki is his brother, and Thor gradually finds a way to reconcile those things because he has to, and because it horrifies him that this seems to have changed everything, that Loki seems to think it changes everything, and now some things he said (I’m not your brother, I never was) suddenly make an awful kind of sense. But surely - surely Loki knows it wouldn’t matter. (But would it have? Thor has dreams of Loki turning blue and his first response is disgust, or horror, and Thor hates that he can’t be certain that wouldn’t be true, even if it was just for a moment.)
Basically - I think Thor’s reaction would be complicated. I’ve read a lot of fic where knowing that Loki is Jotun instantly changes how Thor sees them, or where Thor is instantly accepting of Loki’s ancestry, and I think it would be more difficult than that. But also easier for Thor, in some ways, than for Loki - because when Thor realizes that he’s wrong, while that realization may come slowly, when it comes Thor will change with the kind of whole-hearted determination with which he does everything. (Also, Thor loves Loki so much and that makes a big difference, I think.)
I imagine there’s a lot of yelling between Odin and Thor after Loki’s fall about this, though.
Also, I’ve talked at some point about post-Thor how Thor gradually becomes (by Aesir standards) kind of a crazy liberal and it is kind of weird, and no one actually knows why.
Loki and Thor being introduced to Les Mis the musical
Oh man, this seems like it would be a treasure. Does Thor love Javert? I feel like Thor would love Javert. But not as much as he loves Jean Valjean. I feel like Thor is a sucker for a good story of redemption. (Not just because of Loki, though he does, a little, make pointed remarks in Loki’s direction about RECOGNIZING ONE’S FAULTS and TAKING A BETTER PATH and Loki is like “yes, yes, whatever”)
Also there is a lot of crying? Like, they both cry about Gavroche’s death (though Loki being Loki covers by being outraged, this is absurd, how can this happen, this is pathetically transparent emotional manipulation and also why didn’t they stop the stupid boy and meanwhile tears) and Loki is upset about Eponine (NOT BECAUSE HE IDENTIFIES WITH FOOLS WHO PINE don’t be absurd) and then by the end they’re both just bawling though Loki is pretending not to (or trying to pretend not to)
actually you know? thinking about it I think Loki would have a lot of Javert feelings. stubborn, a little hide-bound, stuck on one road so that he corners himself into despair and seeing no way out commits suicide - I feel like Loki would have a lot of complicated Javert feelings.
so okay having found out about Les Mis and probably initially seeing the movie though imagine them getting tickets to a live performance. imagine. do you think there is such a thing as heckling on Asgard because I imagine performances are highly participatory
imagine Thor and Loki getting kicked out of a Broadway theater because they won’t stop yelling at the stage
this mental image is going to sustain me for months
Thor and Loki, college at. Thor's first semester away. They both suffer from the separation, Thor struggling with classes and not being able. To focus. Thor lack of communication leads Loki to think that his phone some else. Thank you.
“How has it been,” his therapist asked, leaning forward. “Thor being away?"
Loki shrugged. "It’s only been a month. Barely even that. He calls every weekend.” It’s not like, he didn’t say, he talked to me much before he left. It’s not that much of a change, really. It’s a relief, he also didn’t say. He’s not there to overshadow me anymore.
(Because he still was, even across the country Thor was still all anyone wanted to know about how’s he doing, what classes is he taking, what university is he at again?)
I miss him, he definitely didn’t say. I miss hearing him down the hall talking too loudly, listening to his dumb music, taking up the bathroom when he’s jacking off.
“But it’s still different,” she insisted. “It’s a big change for you.”
“I’m not the one starting college.” More was the pity. One more year and then he’d be out, too. Somewhere else. Not California; he wasn’t even going to touch the same state as Thor. Maybe overseas. Somewhere in Europe. “The hour’s up. I have to go."
She let him walk out, bag slung over his shoulder, but he could feel her eyes following him. Donna wasn’t all bad. She could’ve been a lot worse. If he had to deal with having a therapist - and Odin had made it clear that was a requirement - then she was probably the best he could do.
He walked home instead of taking the bus, checked Facebook on his phone. His fingers navigated almost without thinking to Thor’s page, his most recent status - school blows. Missing home.
Even me? Loki thought, with a shade of bitterness. There was a half written email in his drafts that said the same thing.
Thor called every weekend. He timed it right, too, for when Loki was out of the house. And other than that - no texts, no calls. Silence.
Thor was avoiding him.
He’s probably relieved, Loki thought, bitterly. Glad to get away from you, finally. As glad as you’ll be to get away from him.
You could call him. The other voice in the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Frigga. Maybe he thinks you don’t want to talk.
Loki put his phone back in his pocket and kept walking, head bowed, the weight of his bag dragging him down.
We've seen a lot how Steve and Loki react when each other gets hurt, but at this point in rtc verse if something were to happen to Thor what would be Loki's reaction? Tell me more about rtc brotherly feels plssss
This is one of those “things I would write a fic about right now, if I had infinite time and energy and didn’t need to work for a living, but will probably write about at some point anyway” fics. Because oh man, the Thor and Loki relationship in RTC is actually really interesting to me. They’ve…obviously mended some fences, but they’re still very fragile fences in a lot of ways (for both of them - Thor still feels very tentative, like everything he does is going to go horribly wrong, and Loki is still horrifically sensitive and tends to lash out at Thor the minute he feels a little out of sorts or upset).
Nonetheless, the one thing I actually think has never changed - at least not deep down, in truth - is the fact that if something ever happened to Thor, if he was really seriously hurt, Loki would be - honestly, it’s the weirdest emotional mixture of “devastated, terrified, and furious.” Terrified because one of the mainstays of Loki’s world has always been Thor’s invincibility. (I am of the camp that thinks that Thor’s temporary death in Thor was astonishing to Loki - he didn’t expect it to actually happen, and his reaction when it did was this mixture of “holy shit, I killed Thor” and “holy shit, I killed Thor” - there was a moment of euphoria, a sense of total freedom, followed by a sense of being totally cut loose and without anchor. But that’s…another ask.)
SO ANYWAY Thor has also always been Loki’s only to hurt - he’s possessive that way. Anyone else going after Thor is Not Acceptable because only he gets to hurt Thor, only he gets to damage Thor, Thor is his and those are the rules. And that was true even when they were, sort of, enemies. (Or, as for much of RTC, not speaking.) So there’s the anger bit.
And devastated - at this point Thor is the nearest bit of home Loki has. There’s Frigga, but a) she can only visit, never stay and b) Loki’s started to recognize some of his feelings of betrayal about her, and in many ways she’s even more linked to Asgard than Thor at this point - and Asgard is a great big wound, now more than ever (because of his exile). So Thor is family, and after Steve Thor is everything. Loki doesn’t have a whole lot. Losing Thor would cut his close attachments in half. Just as Loki’s starting to (re)admit to himself that that attachment exists.
So…yeah. If something were to happen to Thor (and this is me, eventually I’m going to make something happen to Thor) there would be a fair amount of hell to pay. And also panic. A lot of panic, poorly covered by anger. Because that’s how the Loki do.
Nurse me + Thor & Loki (either of them can be the one being taken care of)
You’re a fool. An absolute fool.
Healing magic had never been his forte. He was better suited to cutting bodies apart than putting them back together. He wished now, though, that he’d bothered to learn more. That he’d forced himself to learn more, ignored the inevitable teasing and learned everything Eir knew.
(Thor clasped his arm, reached for his face. Loki, I love you. Loki. Something snagged in his throat that he refused to name.
No. You will not die. I refuse it.)
Thor stirred on the bed and Loki lifted his head from where he was staring down at his tangled fingers. He moaned quietly and Loki dutifully stood and fetched and glass of water, carried it over and lifted Thor’s head in one hand, tipping the glass to his mouth with the other. He swallowed greedily until the cup was empty, and then fell back.
“Loki?” He rasped.
“I had to do it,” he said, and his voice came out sounding hoarse. “Do you understand? I had to. You are not permitted to die.”
(Are you happy? Now we are bound together. Forever.I know no way of unbinding the knot I tied between your life and mine.)
Chained together. He could imagine almost nothing worse. (But he could imagine something worse, and that was what he had denied.)
Thor shifted, sensing his unease. His brows furrowed and his muscles tensed. Loki reached out with leaden fingers to squeeze his forearm.
“Brother,” Loki made himself say, and the words came almost too easily to his lips. “You are safe. I am here.” Thor subsided with a low and indistinct murmur, his face smoothing again.
You fool, he thought, you fool, you fool, and didn’t know if he meant Thor or himself.