traditional marriages

My country is celebrating 100 years of independence this year and we are also achieving marriage equality on the 1st of March. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our achievements as a nation than celebrating equality and human rights. Congratulations, Finland, may there be many more victories such as this and may your freedom last a thousand years!

(yes, the Finnish flag appears backwards because she’s waving it around)

Traditional Celtic marriage vows, better than anything I've ever heard:

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give
You cannot command me, for I am a free person
But I shall serve you in those ways you require
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

So I’m watching The Crown on Netflix, real banger of a show, and Prince Phillip goes “you’ve taken my career and my home and my family name from me what kind of marriage is this” and I was like shit. he’s the woman in a traditional marriage. that’s a completely normal classic marriage, it’s just that the gender roles are reversed. I don’t know if that was intentional from the show writers but DAMN

Marital Signifiers

So I had a dream where two people from very different cultures have to get married to prevent a war, and in it, one culture used rings to signify marriage while the other used (pierced) earrings.

This got me thinking about what traditions exist to visually show that someone is married. So a bit of research later, some examples are:

  • Wearing a ring (left or right hand, depending on culture) on the “ring” finger (third finger), sometimes getting a tattoo on the appropriate finger (especially if the person’s job makes wearing an actual ring dangerous and/or impractical)
  • (For men) having a beard, or wearing a prayer shawl
  • (For women) wearing a special necklace, or special bangles, or special hair style/covering, or a sindoor

So that’s pretty cool, but I think there are lots of other ways people could show that they’re married. (And maybe there are cultures that do–they just weren’t among the ones I found in my 30 minutes of googling). Maybe things like:

  • Pierced ears/nose/lip
  • Specific colour of nail polish and/or tattoo on hands/fingers
  • Hair length (either unwed individuals must keep hair short, or unwed individuals are not allowed to cut their hair until after marriage)
  • Special type of clothing (a sash, shawl, belt, or scarf)
  • Specific colour of clothing (for example, maybe only married people can wear blue)
  • Less visual, but what if only married people could use certain scents (like lavender) for their soaps and/or fragrances?

There are lots of possibilities! So why not use something other than “exchanging rings” in your fantasy story? Just make sure you think about what that means for the culture. (For example, puzzle rings [which are super cool–I love the ‘woven’ look] were originally developed to catch wives who cheated on their husbands, because they fall apart when taken off. Which shows that women weren’t trusted, and that they weren’t expected to be very clever [otherwise they could put the ring back together])

Permanent markings (like tattoos and piercings) are likely used in a culture where divorces are either not common, or not allowed. Might make for an interesting exploration to look at how such a culture might handle widows/widowers, or those rare instances of divorce. (Do they have a different way to show widowhood vs divorce? How easy/hard is it for a divorcee to make it look like their widowed instead?)

For specific colours/items only available to married individuals, think about how easy it is for the poorest people in the society to access. Do they have to use alternatives to achieve the same visual representation of their marriage? (For example, if a sparkling teal nail polish is what denotes a married person, but it’s expensive, do poor use a fruit/flower that stains their fingertips instead? Maybe the polish is accessible to everyone, but then the rich are going to want some way to denote their wealth as well [comparable to massive engagement rings], so maybe they use a flat teal and then add the sparkle by placing tiny slivers of diamonds on the wet polish?)

And then you must think about the difference in how men and women (and other genders, if it’s a multi-gendered society) present their symbol of marriage. Even with a symbol like a ring that both men and women use, the rings are often very different in appearance. Men’s rings tend to be thicker and simpler, while women’s rings tend to be thinner and more “elegant” (swoops, swirls, curls, multiple gems, etc.). So in a society that uses nail polish or piercings to show marriage, how might it be worn by different genders?

When a Gaul marries, he adds to the dowry that his wife brings with her a portion of his own property estimated to be of equal value. A joint account is kept of the whole amount, and the profits which it earns are put aside; and when either dies, the survivor receives both shares together with accumulated profits.
—  Caesar about the Celts & marriage
Three Important Quotes About Christian Relationships

“Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, ‘That’s her.’” 
- Unknown

“A woman’s heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her.” 
- C.S. Lewis

“How can you give your heart to someone if they don’t know to Whom your heart belongs? How will they understand your heart if they don’t know Who made it? In order for your hearts to be united, they should have in common a true love for God and passion to follow His Word.”

- Me

Juno

Juno is the marriage asteroid. The Roman goddess was married to Jupiter (and Hera, her Greek equivalent, to Zeus). Juno was the goddess of marriage, childbirth, and a protector of women. She is the Queen of the gods. When Jupiter/Zeus was unfaithful she would exact her revenge on him and his lovers. In the chart she represents the marriage we seek out or have, or the marriage partner. This also applies to long-term relationships, any relationship where commitment to one another is central.

Juno in Aries/1st House: Firey, passionate, child-like or selfish in marriage. Marriage partner with the same qualities, a more masculine/assertive/aggressive partner. Juno in the 1st embodies the Juno/Hera archetype of committed spouse. Individual that identifies with Juno.
Juno in Taurus/2nd House: A steady, committed, comfortable marriage. Loyal, down-to-earth marriage partner. Romantic partner, sensual partner. Material security through marriage.
Juno in Gemini/3rd House: Intellectual, social, witty marriage partner. Marriage based off of common interests, ever-changing, a marriage that helps you learn.
Juno in Cancer/4th House: A marriage that feels like home. Traditional values, deep emotional bond. A sensitive and caring marriage partner, partners that nurture one another. In the 4th house, desire for partner is intrinsic to the soul.
Juno in Leo/5th House: A flashy marriage, a partner you can be proud of, a heart-centered marriage. Warm love, romantic, playful. Marriage partner that gives you validation.
Juno in Virgo/6th House: Practical marriage, intellectual marriage partner, a marriage where you can keep your autonomy. Marriage partner that serves you, helps you with chores. A partner you work with.
Juno in Libra/7th House: Very relationship-oriented, finds self through marriage. Balanced and equal partnership, searching for the life partner. Romantic and wistful partner, fair partner. In the 7th House, may be searching for someone that embodies the Juno/Hera archetype of committed spouse.
Juno in Scorpio/8th House: Intense emotional partnership, sexual marriage full of intrigue, loyal partner, ‘til death do us part. There may be a shadow side, secrets, room for the shadow to come out and be healed. Marriage based off of intimacy. Shared income and riches through marriage.
Juno in Sagittarius/9th House: A marriage that allows for freedom, a marriage that expands one’s life. Marriage partner from a different culture or country. Traveling together, learning together, discovering together. May veer towards the Jupiter/Zeus archetype in the marriage.
Juno in Capricorn/10th House: Traditional marriage, family values, a marriage/partner that looks good to the public. A marriage built on a solid and secure foundation. A practical marriage, a serious marriage. In the 10th House, the Juno/Hera archetype may be the individual’s greatest potential, or what they show to the public. May be married to their career or meet spouse through work.
Juno in Aquarius/11th House: Non-traditional or alternative marriage, marriage based off of common interests, weird marriage, eccentric or unique partner. Individuality through marriage. Meeting your spouse through friends or a group you belong to. Married to your best friend.
Juno in Pisces/12th House: Marriage raised to the heavens, spiritual partnership, empathetic and compassionate partner, emotional bond, union through marriage. Healing or being healed through serious relationship. In the 12th, desire for marriage may be unconscious or hidden.

Juno Retrograde: Desire for marriage or sense of the Juno/Hera archetype may not be seen by others in you, but it is felt deeply by the individual.


-Pegasus Astrology / Lauren Crowley

EMPOWERMENT

Things that are actually empowering to women and girls:

1. Physicality
becoming physically stronger empowers us. exercising your body not only makes your body stronger and more powerful, but it brings discipline and helps you connect with your body instead of disconnect.
being able to physically be at a location is empowering. feminists should be fighting to make all places accessible to disabled women.
disabled women should also have access to any type of exercises and physical therapy they can do. i would especially like to see more public pools having more physical therapy programs. swimming is a great way to exercise for strength while not putting any gravitational or impact on your body

2. Knowledge

Knowledge is empowering. having knowledge about how our own bodies work is empowering. women and girls who are.knowledgeable are not easily misled. in this vein, learning how to properly debate arguments and think critically about yours and others words and beliefs is empowering. having the ability to trust yourself comes with gaining knowledge.

3. Access to Fulfilling Work.

work that feeds our love and passion is empowering. workplaces with atmospheres where everyone is happy and excited to work with women are empowering. workplaces free from sexual attacks empower women. women stimulating their minds and souls is empowering. women doing the work they find stimulating gives us a sense of purpose.

many women of all different walks of life have a high propensity for art. charging them with female representation in media will empower us all by putting forth the huge diversity that women display as human beings with full experiences and lives and stories to tell.

evidence shows that the least depressed cohort of women are the ones who work and who are financially independent, not the married housewives.

4. Reproductive and Sexual Rights.

women having control over our own.reproduction is empowering. women having orgasms and thinking about our own pleasure during sex is empowering. women accepting their own physical form and refusing to be disrespected by men who find them unacceptable because of their physical form is empowering. women refusing intercourse if it does nothing for their pleasure or they dont want to take the risk is empowering. women not being forced to sell their own bodies is empowering. women having control over OUR OWN BODIES is freedom.

Things that are NOT empowering to girls and women:

1. Femininity

being small, delicate, and on display is not empowering and it never will be. wearing high heels damages our feet and is not empowering. wearing makeup because society does not believe we as women are acceptable without it is not empowering. having long and/or fake nails limits the use of our hands and is not empowering. our collective bodies are not for men to look at and enjoy as they go about their day in comfortable, dignified clothing.

kindness, nurturing, and the desire to help others are good qualities in moderation, and they should be thouhght of as sex-neutral qualities everyone should work on, not just women. women are not the only ones who should be expected to be nurturing and giving.

aspiring for smallness is the opposite of enpowering. women need to eat. women are allowed to grow. our goal should be comfort and health, not emancipation and fragility.

2. Self-objectification

our hands are for doing tasks and our feet are for mobility. our faces are to house our brains and feed us, not a thing for men to find either acceptable or unacceptable to look at. every part of our bodies are for OUR use, not for the use of others. we exist for ourselves. our bodies are not naturally political and they are all acceptable and worthy of humanity, no matter what they look like or what issues they have.

3. Submission

Submissiveness is not empowering. lowering your worth until it is under the worth you give someone elses humanity is self-harm. humiliation and degredation arise out of the degraders sense of superiority over the one submitting to him. being treated as inferior will never empower anyone.

4. Marriage and Traditional Nuclear Family

marriage is a contract of ownership where women take on the last name of men. nuclear families are an extension of male ownership to not only include women but the children they objectify as their legacy of power. men expect women to raise children while they work, but women have goals and dreams too. men expect women to drop these goals and sacrifice only their lives to raise children that men see as their property and investment. men leave the majority of menial housework and micro-cleaning to women. marriage and nuclear families will never be empowering.

5. Outside Control over Reproduction.

up to and including abortion. ALSO involving lack of access to childcare and paid leave. this one explains itself.

6. The Sex Industry.

Mens entitlement over females and our bodies will NEVER be empowering and MUST end.

Now, can people stop using this word for things that ARENT giving women any actual power? Glad we had this talk.

2

“Bangles are traditional ornaments worn mostly by South Asian women in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. It is a common tradition to see a new bride wearing glass bangles at her wedding. Bangles also have a very traditional value in Hinduism and it is considered inauspicious to be bare armed for a married woman. Chooda is a kind of bangle that is worn by Punjabi women on her wedding day. It is a set of white and red bangles with stone work. According to tradition, a woman is not supposed to buy the bangles she will wear. Moradabad is India’s largest producer of bangles.”

Mass Effect Andromeda ‘Leaks’

So there were a couple more ‘leaks’ about Andromeda the other day, around Jaal in particular, but also the existence and purpose of the Kett, and yeah, take these with a grain of salt, but things seem to match up pretty well.

- Jaal has “sad vibes”: he often looks and sounds melancholic, but he is also very curious and can get quite excited about new things that intrigue him

- He is sympathetic towards Ryder’s cause and admires their courage. He joins the Initiative to understand better the new races and find a footing among new people after feeling estrangered from his own home.

-As some suggested before, the Kett are Angara who went through a painful, forced transformation. They believe this will make them powerful, that this is the right way for their race to evolve, and so the angaran race split into two factions: that’s why we saw Ryder fight some of them in the gameplay videos

- Jaal belongs to the angaran Resistance Force that tries to oppose these traitorous, dangerous angaran. Many of his people were captured, including his father, whom he tried to save. He didn’t succeed and was tortured and almost turned into a Kett. That experience deeply scarred him (not just outside: notice the ugly scar on his left “tentacle”) and that explains his deep sadness

- Despite everything, he is still very emotive. He is described as “soulful” and he always thinks before speaking, meditating long on important topics that interest him. He asks many questions, but also loves receiveing many as well, as long as Ryder goes straight to the point.

- He has difficulties understanding Milky Way jokes and customs and prefers to be talked in a direct, honest manner. His romance with FemRyder is a slow-burn romance and you must be patient with him and try to understand him. It’s very worth the trouble, though, (hot sex scene too), and it’s implied his romance will be the one to include the “non traditional marriage” the devs spoke about.