trading fours

2

trade mistakes // panic! at the disco

Notable Guests and Incidents From my Career at Chick-Fil-A
  • Elderly woman in the drive thru that insisted her meal should be free because the total cost was the same as her birth year. 
  • Obligatory group of shirtless frat boys. 
  • Guy who pulled me aside and demanded to know if we wash our floors with grease because the (freshly mopped) bathroom floor was slippery. 
  • Soccer mom that intentionally poured a large strawberry milkshake onto her son’s head as punishment. She asked for a new one.
  • Kid that stood on a table and sung Let It Go uninterrupted from start to finish. She received a standing ovation from everyone in the restaurant.
  • Teenage girl that paid for a to-go order, about $45 total, entirely in singles. 
  • College-age girl that asked if it was true that we were handing out free sandwiches to gays and, if so, if she could have one. I told her we weren’t doing that promotion at our location, but I’d buy her a sandwich if she gave me her number. She politely declined. 
  • Prank caller asking if we wanted to buy weed. The manager replied by saying we had a guy that sold to us for 10$/quarter and to call back when he could match that
  • Multiple instances of kids pooping in the playplace.
  • Another prank caller asking if we sold burgers. The manager (a different one) told them there was a Five Guys across the street, so why on earth bother looking for a burger here anyway?
  • That time Arthur Darville came in.
  • Drive thru guest who regularly asks, very specifically, for “coke zero, NOT diet coke with extra ice’
  • A basketball team from a local high school got banned for using their trays to slide down the slide.
  • This happened to be the same night that the staff all stayed an extra 20 minutes after the doors were locked and took turns using a tray to slide down the slide. 
  • Guy with a southern accent that addressed me as “you with the tits,” shoved his sweet tea under my nose for a refill and then, upon noticing my murderous expression, said, “Service with a smile, darlin’,” winked, and walked out.
  • Woman who told me in a watery voice, upon observing my name tag, that her recently deceased daughter’s name was Emily too. She comes back and chats with me occasionally. 
  • My coworker, Tyquan once finished his conversation with the guests by saying “Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!” It is now a meme and basically all of our customers know him. 
  • That time I was explaining to one of the girls what Rocky Horror Picture Show was and this elderly couple leaned across the counter with wide eyes and exclaimed “You’ve never heard of Rocky Horror!?” And proceeded to yell their favorite audience participation lines. 
  • Guy who’s on the security staff of a local college frequently comes through the drive thru on his segway. We are all on a first name basis with him.
  • A skinny fuckboy who consistently, for over two years, has always come in wearing a trilby, carrying a copy of hamlet, and ordering “Coca-Cola” instead of coke. 
  • Some redneck-type guy with no front teeth that asked me if almost everybody on the staff is “saved” (they are.) He then asked me how old I was and if I was a nice Christian gal (I’m not).
  • Guy who geek-checked me for my Keyblade necklace. He didn’t play the spinoffs.
  • I went into the low fridge one day and the stack of juice boxes had toppled over, basically burying everything else. I asked the manager what happened, and he looked at me dead in the face and said “it was an appleanche.” 
  • Stoners calling to ask if we delivered.
  • Guy who said, in a deadass tone: “If you guys call it Chick-Fil-A because the staff is all chicks why don’t y’all wear more revealing shirts?” And I honestly didn’t even know what to do because a) our staff is not all women and b) Sir do you realize that this is a heavily Christian establishment I mean christ.
  • Unknown guest who left me several napkins with pictures drawn on them, labelled “tip.” To date it is the third tip I’ve ever gotten and by far the best.
  • That time we traded four large strip trays for eight cases of White Castle.
  • Woman in the drive thru that demanded to speak with the owner because we told her that she could not get six large cups of ice for free and would have to pay for a bag of ice instead.
  • Guy in a full replica batman cosplay. He came in, walked around, took some pictures with people, and left.
  • There was a baby boomer that screamed literally right in my face because his nuggets were cold. I had shit to do though and his breath with nasty so after six whole minutes of this (I timed it) I burst into tears and told him it was just my first day. Later the manager told me that she saw the whole thing and that she almost peed herself from laughing so hard and that I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. 

And finally…

  • Prank caller asking if we could do a birthday party for 52 lesbians.
A Better Word

They say the Fair Folk give journalism majors a lot of grief.

Truths exposed in writing, forms cemented in photographs, stories stripped of flowery prose in favor of concise words. The Fair Folk generally looked down on journalism itself with disdain.

Which made one wonder who would choose to pursue this particular academic career at Elsewhere University.

Some reporters argue learning among the harshest critics on Earth would leave them more than prepared for life beyond the University. Some photographers believe this is the only place on earth to capture something truly extraordinary. Some designers heard even the programs here behave differently, and the words and photos laid out on a screen became something more on paper. Some simply hadn’t known any better.

Bernadette hadn’t known any better.

Elsewhere was affordable, the journalism program seemed decent enough. She liked writing, but did not enjoy chasing victims of the Fair Folk people down for interviews. She liked photography, but knew her writing skills were stronger. So she fell in an unlikely place, a copy editor for the student newspaper. Well, one of. There were many papers, and she’d nearly joined the most prominent one. But the students who worked for it all shared the same bright green eyes, and the rest of the University seemed to avoid that paper like the plague.

Still, she needed experience to graduate in this field, right? Maybe they got a group discount on colored contacts, who knows. People in college are weird like that.

An upperclassman had saved her from venturing too close to THAT paper. He realized she had no salt, no iron, no idea what she had enrolled into. But, like finding her niche, she adapted. Survived her first year without tragedy. (The same could not be said for Sherry from across the hall. One of the Fair Folk had complimented her eyes, and asked if she could have them. Sherry, who hadn’t known any better, jokingly said sure. It’s been months since anyone’s seen Sherry.)

For the most part, the Fair Folk did not venture close to the newsroom. The room itself had been smartly moved the moment time began to behave differently. It was now just a cramped, previously vacant classroom, but with lots of windows. Access to the outside world seemed to weaken the chance of a space being manipulated by time. 

Or maybe that was a comforting lie.

It was a lazy Saturday, salt lines had been neglected and Bernadette was alone when one of the Fair Folk waltzed inside. Silver nitrate burns on her hands betrayed him immediately. His hair was was a dark, voracious black that seemed to leach color from the world around it. His razor-sharp smile held too many teeth. His skin seemed almost translucent.

      “What are you working on?”

A voice that seemed to come from everywhere, and nowhere. Bernadette hadn’t given him more than a cursory glance before returning to the story on the screen. If she was afraid, she didn’t show it.

      “Editing a story.”

      “Chopping up pretty words in favor of boring ones?”

She smirked, adding punctuation to a sentence.

“I like to think of it as finding the best words. No sense in having a bunch of empty, meandering words when you can sum them up with one. For instance, I hate the word ‘very.’ It tells me there’s a better word, but the author hasn’t thought of it.”

The boy hummed at this, an unnerving sound, mulling it over.

      “So what if I told you I find this very boring?”

      “I’d say I’m sorry you find it dull.” 

His head tilted with mild interest. It then turned to sniff at her messenger bag, disgust showing at his inability to open it. She had always been particularly careful about her sigils and rowan. Bernadette hadn’t missed this display, tugging the bag out of arm’s reach before slipping a hand inside. Wordlessly, the boy was handed two sealed pads of butter. It was always good to have butter or cream on hand, in case you were taken. Some Fae found stealing humans more fun than actually keeping them and, in such a case, freedom could be easily bought. 

The boy grinned, ripping off the seals and lapping it up like a ravenous dog, teeth razor sharp and dripping. All the while, Bernadette kept editing the story. When every last molecule of butter was gone, he tossed the packs over his shoulder, turning full attention back to her.

      “What if I said I’m very tired?”

      “Exhausted.”

      “Very hungry.”

      “Starving.”

      “Very happy.”

      “Overjoyed.”

      “Very pretty.”

      “Beautiful.”

The boy threw his head back and laughed, sounding like a chorus of the damned, far too many sharpened teeth glinting in the afternoon sun.

      “Perhaps this isn’t so dull. What’s your name?”

      “Timmy,” Bernadette answered without skipping a beat. His grin widened.

      “No, it’s not. I bet Timmy is that reporter you don’t like. You’d be very mean to give me his name.”

She grinned in return, not at all fazed he knew there was someone here she loathed. The Fair Folk always knew something about something.

       “I can be devious sometimes.”

He laughed even harder, the room seeming to shake with the thunderous sound.

      “What did Timmy do?”

She scowled.

      “He’s a narcissist and a douchebag. Timmy encouraged one of our first-year photographers to capture Genevieve on camera for his story, and we haven’t seen the photographer since.”

The boy whistled, every gap of razor teeth producing a different tone. Her days of playing clarinet had long since passed, but she could have sworn every tone was sharp.

      “Genevieve does not like cameras. But she loves names. Perhaps a trade…”


Four days later, Timmy vanished, and Bernadette opened her dorm room to find the photographer on her futon, paper white and shoveling ramen noodles like he hadn't​ eaten for week. Knowing how obscure time can be in Elsewhere, it definitely could have been a week. His hair now turns green on Tuesdays and bank holidays, but he’s otherwise no worse for wear. And his hands are always burned. Always.

Every once in a while, when the salt lines are neglected, the boy with many voices returns. He has new phrases for her to deconstruct every time.

x

10 New Artists You Need to Know: July 2017

BTS

Sounds Like: K-Pop gone trap, trop-house and even neo-soul; the seven-headed boss you face at the end of a rap music arcade game

Why You Should Pay Attention: BTS, short for “Bangtan Songyeondan,” or, in English, “Bulletproof Boy Scouts,” debuted in 2013 and quickly became one of Korea’s hottest new acts. In America, they’ve sold out arenas in Anaheim and New Jersey, and when their airplane landed in Chile, they were greeted with Beatles-esque pandemonium. On record, the group’s seven members trade quick, four-line verses that often tackle previously taboo subjects like politics and depression.

According to Rap Monster, the group’s leader, their songwriting process is part Rihanna and part Wu-Tang: After selecting beats from Korea’s top producers, plus a few made by the artists themselves, the seven members flesh out the songs through friendly competition, going head-to-head to see who can come up with the best verses. So far, the results have been positive. Wings, their second LP, was one the most conceptually and sonically ambitious pop albums of 2016, becoming Korea’s best-selling album of the year. It even boosted sales of Herman Hesse’s 1919 novel Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair’s Youthwhen the group revealed that it was a big influence on the record and its accompanying music videos.

They Say: “I’ve been reading books, as many as I can, since I was five, seven, 10 years old, and before I made music I wanted to be an author,” says Rap Monster. He lists Hesse, Haruki Murakami and Albert Camus as three of his favorite writers. “Authors really create those human expressions too, like some specific feelings. Normal people, usually, when they try to express their emotions say like, ‘I’m sad.’ 'I’m mad.’ But authors make those emotions totally different – they make it sound totally different. There are so many great diamonds in books and movies and we always try to get inspiration from them. Now we don’t have so much time to experience outside, like other people. We always have to go abroad and perform and make music inside our studio, so books and movies are the best things to experience instead of going outside.”

Hear for Yourself: “Come Back Home,” their latest single, has a beat that bridges the gap between Black Sheep and DJ Mustard, plus bilingual lyrics that make “hangry” feel like existential despair.

© Nick Murray @ Rolling Stone

*screaming* THIS IS THE FIRST EVER ART TRADE I EVER DO AND THIS IS MY PART FOR @miniwrecker HMU FOR MORE ART TRADES MY DUDES.

Honestly I love my boyz, this ship is one of my fav.

👀🐍dont steal my art, I’m watching you. Tag me if you repost. Or ask to repost. I have eyes everywhere.🐍👀

BTS

Sounds Like: K-Pop gone trap, trop-house and even neo-soul; the seven-headed boss you face at the end of a rap music arcade game

For Fans of: Justin Bieber, G-Dragon, Big Bang

Why You Should Pay Attention: BTS, short for “Bangtan Songyeondan,” or, in English, “Bulletproof Boy Scouts,” debuted in 2013 and quickly became one of Korea’s hottest new acts. In America, they’ve sold out arenas in Anaheim and New Jersey, and when their airplane landed in Chile, they were greeted with Beatles-esque pandemonium. On record, the group’s seven members trade quick, four-line verses that often tackle previously taboo subjects like politics and depression.

According to Rap Monster, the group’s leader, their songwriting process is part Rihanna and part Wu-Tang: After selecting beats from Korea’s top producers, plus a few made by the artists themselves, the seven members flesh out the songs through friendly competition, going head-to-head to see who can come up with the best verses. So far, the results have been positive. Wings, their second LP, was one the most conceptually and sonically ambitious pop albums of 2016, becoming Korea’s best-selling album of the year. It even boosted sales of Herman Hesse’s 1919 novel Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair’s Youth when the group revealed that it was a big influence on the record and its accompanying music videos.

They Say: “I’ve been reading books, as many as I can, since I was five, seven, 10 years old, and before I made music I wanted to be an author,” says Rap Monster. He lists Hesse, Haruki Murakami and Albert Camus as three of his favorite writers. “Authors really create those human expressions too, like some specific feelings. Normal people, usually, when they try to express their emotions say like, ‘I’m sad.’ 'I’m mad.’ But authors make those emotions totally different – they make it sound totally different. There are so many great diamonds in books and movies and we always try to get inspiration from them. Now we don’t have so much time to experience outside, like other people. We always have to go abroad and perform and make music inside our studio, so books and movies are the best things to experience instead of going outside.”

Hear for Yourself:Come Back Home,” their latest single, has a beat that bridges the gap between Black Sheep and DJ Mustard, plus bilingual lyrics that make “hangry” feel like existential despair. Nick Murray

how did this even happen

soooooo I’m taking a break from my heist novel because the plot-tweaking process for that was getting frustrating and demoralising and I wanted to give myself something to do for a while that was not designing a complex con

so I thought

how about I write a short, fun, decidedly unserious gay romance novel!

kissing! disguises! lies! emotions! a whole lot of sex!

that will be just the kind of relaxing break I need!

it is now a week later and I have outlined every scene except for one, for which the description just reads [INSERT THE FUCKING CON HERE] because I have somehow managed to plot myself into a corner of my ABSURD ROMANCE NOVEL where A CON IS NECESSARY FOR PLOT REASONS because I am a deeply ridiculous human being and should not be allowed near a keyboard.

anonymous asked:

To all the moderators, what are your respective 'go-to' stories at dramione/org that are not included on the top list?

Sure. Here are some fics I have bookmarked as favorites so I can read them over and over again… I don’t think any of these are on the top lists.

Gingerbread Germs by scarlettcat - M, one-shot - Pansy’s plan for revenge couldn’t be sweeter. Too bad she forgot about Draco’s sweet tooth.

Who Trumps Who? by margaritama - MA, one-shot - Draco remembers what it is to be a Malfoy.  He has every intention of destroying Ron Weasley, slowly and methodically.

Sometimes a Loss is Really a Gain by RiddikulusRavenclaw - M, 2 Chapters - When Hermione and Ron have a nasty breakup, she gets drunk and rebounds…with Draco Malfoy?

Curses by maloreiy - MA, 5 Chapters - The Head Boy and the Head Girl have been captured! Stolen right out of Hogwarts and hit with an unknown curse, the two find themselves in a very small cell, very much alone, and with very unusual effects from the curse. Smut, followed by a thin plot, and ending with fluff.

Hallelujah Indeed by naarna - T, one-shot - After a love spell has gone wrong, Draco shows up in Hermione’s bedroom every night for a week. Investigations into this matter lead to revelations both never expected… (This story was part of the 2016 HP Drizzle Fest)

Pride and Prejudice and Leprechauns by Refictionista - MA, 17 Chapters -  By Jane Austen and Refictionista - Miss Hermione Granger and Mr. Draco Malfoy had never gotten along, but now they must work together to end the illegal trade in cursed four leaf clovers. Their investigation together discovers that sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with is the one person you can’t be without. (Written for the 2016 Harry Potter Get Lucky Fest)

Safehouse by Sey - MA, 22 Chapters - Four years post-war, all captured Death Eaters manage to escape Azkaban with one goal in mind: revenge. The Golden Trio is separated to assure their safety, and though the situation is hard for them all, Hermione can’t help but feel she is stuck in the worst safehouse… Or Manor, in this case.

Devil’s Snare by SunshineSundae - M, 11 Chapters - Hermione wants a new job. Will boss Malfoy let her go? “Tell me, Granger, do you often imagine me in bed?” “If you mean death bed,” she said sweetly. “Then every day.”

Waters of the Horned God by ningloreth - MA, 2 Chapters - Auror Hermione Granger finds there’s much more to her new partner, Draco Malfoy, than meets the eye.

❤️ @refictionista

P.S. Yes, one of the fics listed is one of mine, but (even so) it’s one of the ‘go-to’ stories that I’ve read it over and over again… I’m obsessed with Jane Austen.

Killjoy Aesthetic #1

Sleeping with your boots on and your gun under your arm because you’re never safe.

Never forgetting to wear a bandana over your face when you’re out in the Zones because of that one time you did and had sand in your teeth for weeks as consequence.

The pure joy you feel every time you get the rare luxury of a hot meal or a cold shower.

Guarding your Chapstick with your life because you traded four cans of Power Pup to get it, and it may be the second most important thing you own (next to your blaster)

Every time you take your shoe off you vow never to again because everyone knows there is no worse smell than the inside of a Killjoy’s boot.

Mattresses without sheets. Or blankets. You’re not complaining; sleeping on something other than the ground is bliss.

The confidence you have in your walk–whether you know it or not. You stand with your shoulders back and your head high.

The blisters, burns, dirt, ash, and cuts you always have on your hands.

The rush you get from killing a Drac or driving at top speed, when you know you’d never live your life any differently.

3

The Might of the Mali Imperial Army,

One of the great empires of history, Mali is seldom known by many outside of Africa.  However from the 13th century up to the late 16th century Mali rules a very wealthy and powerful empire which dominated the Northwestern portion of Sub Saharan Africa.  Mali’s wealth and power came from four important trade goods; salt, gold, copper, and ivory.  Among it’s most popular cities was Timbuktu, a rich city that was home to the University of Timbuktu, one of the oldest universities in history and a hotspot of science and learning.

The Mali Empire came to power around the mid 13th century when the Mali kingdoms united, then conquered the other tribes and kingdoms around it.  By its height in 1350, the Mali Empire stretched from the Atlantic Ocean and followed along the Niger River all the way to modern day Niger.  To conquer, rule, and police such an empire, Mali needed an especially strong and powerful army, and a strong and powerful army it did have.  Throughout most of the empire’s history, the Mali Imperial Army numbered around 100,000 infantry and 10,000 heavy cavalry.  For the Middle Ages, this was a truly massive military force.  As a comparison, the French Army at the Battle of Crecy in 1346 numbered only 30,000 while the English Army numbered a mere 10,000.  In addition, the Mali Empire was supported by numerous militia forces supported by the many tribes that made up the empire.

The backbone of the Mali Imperial Army were the infantry.  Typically the average footsoldier was armed with an iron tipped spear, a bow with poisoned arrows, a leather helmet, and a leather covered shield made from reeds. Light infantry usually only carried a small light shield and a saber. Most infantry were conscripts with each tribe required to supply a quota of soldiers, although a number of soldiers were experienced professionals.  Every tribe within the Mali Empire were required to produce of regiment of soldiers for the army, while the soldiers themselves were required to supply their own weapons and equipment.  

The elite of the Mali Imperial Army were the 10,000 strong heavy cavalry, which were recruited from upper class nobility, much like the knights of Europe.  Also like European knights, Mali cavalry were heavily armed and armored.  Typically Mali cavalrymen wore steel helmets and chain mail armor imported from North Africa and Europe.  Armaments included lances, sabers, and longswords also made of steel.  Essentially the Mali cavalry were the elite shocktroops of the Empire.  Typically, they were positioned at the head of the army, where they would charge the enemy, riding them down and breaking up their formations while the Mali infantry mopped up what was left.  

With its massive army and control over trade routes, the Mali Empire thrived in the 14th and 15th centuries.  However in the early 16th century international trade shifted away from the Middle East and Africa to the newly discovered America’s.  This resulted in Mali’s economy stagnating a trade routes through Africa dried up due to competition from the Far East and the America’s.  As the empire weakened, many of the kingdoms and tribes that made up the empire revolted and declared their independence.  Then Mali faced a series of invasions from the Moroccans, Taureg, and Portuguese.  Finally in 1599 the empire collapsed entirely, forming a dozen or more successor states and kingdoms.  The last remnants of the Mali were conquered by a people called the Bambara in the 17th century.