trachs

6

don’t expect me to risk my life trying to save yours!

in which derek is willing to suffer to not let anyone else get hurt…
                3.03 / 3.04 / 3.19 

Sheyann Webb
Eight-year-old Sheyann Webb was among the youngest activists to demonstrate during the Civil Rights movement. In this interview, Webb recalls her decision to participate in the 1965 voting-rights march from Selma, Alabama, the resistance she encountered from her parents, and the violent force used by local officials to stop the march.

horses and medicine

The morning started out with the sudden realization that my wife cannot eat walnuts anymore. The culprit was a cranberry orange muffin. The result was a swollen throat, difficulty breathing, and frantic Googling of what to do. The kids were freaking out in the backseat and all I could think was that one trach should be enough for any family. After a stop at Rite Aid for some Benadryl, she was fine.

I tried to start a new holiday tradition of listening to John Barleycorn Must Die on the way down to my parents’ house. The family slaughtered it relentlessly. My wife supported me, letting me play the Dad Card, saying I put up with the modern radio hits the kids loved, I should be able to listen to eight songs I wanted to hear, no matter how dated they sounded. Dated? It was released in 1970, of course it was dated.

The day got better with our annual tradition of lobster stew (thankful for no seafood allergies) and a sparkling cider toast. We went around the room to say what we were thankful for, from youngest to oldest, so Fin went first and said he was thankful for horses. We were all thankful for medicine. Then my dad started streaming classic rock over the speakers and I kept trying to guess the year of the album. I thought I was doing pretty well, being within a year or two of the release date. My parents added a new wine to the lobster stew this year, and we passed the bottle around, taking small spoonfuls and adding it to the broth. That’s as close as I get to drinking with the family; tasting the unique toffee and toasted almond notes of cheap cooking sherry.

After the meal, we kept the traditions rolling. I skunked my father at a game of cribbage and then my brother beat me. The kids watched the trailer for Jurassic World and then we decided we needed to watch the original Jurassic Park while we ate three kinds of pie and drank coffee. My dad said he had the DVD and went to grab it. But he only had the second and third movies. So we watched Spongebob Squarepants instead.

The day ended with the ceremonial drinking of the holiday beverage at home by the fire. As much as I don’t like to deal with snow, it looked pretty and we didn’t lose power, although it snapped off and on a few times. I love the holiday traditions, like listening to Alice’s Restaurant, and even if we didn’t start any new ones this year, we made it through another Thanksgiving relatively unscathed. Then my wife went Black Friday shopping at midnight and my oldest daughter started puking. Hand me the cooking sherry. I’m thankful for horses, and medicine.

10

Trach girl.

To sum it up really fast - I’m 23, I’ve had over 200 surgeries on my airway since I was 8 months old, I have a rapsy voice that is forever changing, and this year I had an emergency surgery where they had to put a temporary trach on me.

There has never been a time where I have been unfamiliar with the hospital.

But it certainly is not who I am.

I am not the girl that is sick, I am not the girl with the raspy voice, and I am certainly not trach girl.

If you got to know me, you would find that my medical life is just something I know is making me stronger each day. It is by far the worst I have been through, and I know for certain one day they will find a cure for me.

If you got to know me, you would know that despite my voice, my passion of acting proceeds to push itself into my heart every single day, and that I use my voice in the best ways imaginable.

If you got to know me, you would know that I am not all that shy, I’ve just been made fun of too many times to have the sociable attitude that I used to exemplify.

You would know that I laugh at the irony of my life,

being a lesbian, wanting to act with a quiet raspy voice, my sister - an actress rising in fame. It’s a big pile of judgment waiting for me as I walk into the world. And frankly, I find it quite hilarious. 

You would know that I’m kind of cooky and awkward, and extremely sarcastic, and above all I really just want to be your friend because hey, can’t have too many of those!

So my point is, when you see or hear someone different from you, please take a second to get to know them before judging them.

For me this is temporary, but for someone else it might not be.

Don’t call me trach girl,

call me Morgan :)

the mall looks different when you see it during an emergency trach change

I ran into my cousin, who I haven’t seen in years, and I couldn’t stop to talk. I just hurried by, telling her that Fin was plugged off, and I had to go. I’m sorry, I had to go. Of course, I forgot his backpack with his spare trach and obturator in the car, so I had to run from one end of the mall to the other. Security guards look at you a little differently when you’re doing the mad medical dash; the authoritative side of them raises their hands in a slow down gesture, until they look you in the eye, and they can see the crazed lunatic parent lingering in there. Or at least they see something they don’t want to mess with. Clear the lane, boys.

And it was basketball tournament time, so the mall was crammed with about twice as many people as it can hold and about fifty times as many people as a normal weekend, excluding Christmas shopping season. I had to slow down with the grandmas shuffling. I had to wade through teenagers in matching letter jackets. I had to dance a little bit as I sashayed by Abercrombie & Fitch. I mean, I had to.

I was a speed walker on speed. I counted the seconds in my head and pictured my son, tongue out, sweat forming at his temples, panting as best he could through his mouth. I only noticed he was having trouble in Game Stop when I saw that there was no snot around his nose. The vent pushes the mucous out. No mucous, no pressure. No pressure, we got a problem. I ran.

Brad Pitt regarded me from his Chanel poster with a look of sympathy and I thought, Brad, buddy, you know what I’m going through. You have like ten children with Angelina, of course, they’re all perfect. I love your hair, by the way. I’m not cutting mine again, ever.

I hopped into the car and instead of grabbing the spare trach and bag and running back through the obstacle course of the mall, I decided to drive all the way around to the entrance closest to Fin and park there. I found a handicap spot and slid right in, then ran inside with the bag.

My wife got everything ready quickly and we decided to try the obturator first and clear the blockage, but I handed her a pack of bacitracin instead of KY and she dipped it in that stuff so we had to scratch that plan. Full-on trach change, right outside the vision center at the mouth of Macy’s and across from Lane Bryant. That’s how it went down. Now let’s get back to shopping.

Complications | Paul and Crystal

crystalnotreed

Paul felt like a complete asshole once he received the text from Crystal. He could have went ahead and told her that he had loved her back, but it wasn’t that easy for him to do so. It was much more complicated in his mind, than what he would have liked it to be. Paul tucked his phone under the pillow and turned on his back staring at the ceiling as he waited for Crystal to arrive. He decided to ask her to come to his room, merely because he felt like complete shit for letting her say that she loved him when he didn’t believe that she did.