toys for the big boys

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Day Sixty-Three

-I asked a woman if she had the store’s payment card. She told me that she did not, but that she had just talked to someone for fifteen minutes. I do not see the connection but I am deeply proud of her nonetheless.

-In an attempt to make me uncomfortable, a man slammed a box of tampons on the counter and informed me that he would be buying them. Unfortunately for him, I have a level of maturity higher than a seven year-old, so it did not faze me at all. I picked it up, scanned it, bagged it, and gave him his total before he could stop snickering over the word tampon long enough to realize his plan had failed him. 

-Since entering the month of December I have noticed scores of older, chubby, bearded men come out of the woodwork and scour the store. Where have they all been hiding until this month? More importantly, who will emerge from the inevitable brawl as Santa Supreme?

-I found an opened twelve-pack of paper towels left on the ground with one roll missing. My biggest question is why the individual at fault opted to crack open the value pack rather than simply pick up one of the single rolls that were available on the same shelf, but I suppose desperate paper towel emergencies call for desperate paper towel measures.

-As a child was approaching the checkout lane, he told his mother to wait for a moment and made a dash to the trading card wall. He promptly dropped to his stomach in an army crawl and began surreptitiously pushing aside boxes. He pulled out a large toy that did not belong there and ran back to his mother. I have no idea how long he has been using this hidden cache to reserve his secret stash of toys, but I do know that this boy is going to make it big as a master thief. 

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