toy stark

I’ve been taking my mind off things lately by imagining Tony Stark’s reaction to Donald Trump announcing his candidacy for president, which would almost definitely be announcing his own candidacy because WHY NOT.

Iron Patriot? How about IRON PRESIDENT?

His campaign rallies would be catered by Hooters because he just really likes the wings.

He would promise free education and increased wages and subsidies for farms to update their equipment with Stark technology.  He’d tell coal miners he’s sorry but they are going to be out of work because of course they are, but he’ll be funding grants for retraining in new industries in the areas most affected.

He’d have a reluctant Steve Rogers as his running mate with promises to revamp HUD so it actually worked. He’d promise to make Bruce Banner head of the EPA because who better to help us go green.

He’d fly into debates and bring out girls to shoot t-shirt canons.

He’d put his tax returns into a PowerPoint presentation.

He would be the ultimate showman, oozing humor and charisma. He’d personally reply to all of Donny J’s tweets. He would have lunch with representatives of basically every media outlet. On a boat.

And when someone said he was ridiculous he would agree completely and reply “but am I really more ridiculous than TRUMP?”