(ps. let’s not get into endless discussions about makeup in star wars. listen to what the girls have to say. these toys are directed at their age group and they’re letting you know they’re not pleased. LISTEN.)
I’ve been taking my mind off things lately by imagining Tony Stark’s reaction to Donald Trump announcing his candidacy for president, which would almost definitely be announcing his own candidacy because WHY NOT.
Iron Patriot? How about IRON PRESIDENT?
His campaign rallies would be catered by Hooters because he just really likes the wings.
He would promise free education and increased wages and subsidies for farms to update their equipment with Stark technology. He’d tell coal miners he’s sorry but they are going to be out of work because of course they are, but he’ll be funding grants for retraining in new industries in the areas most affected.
He’d have a reluctant Steve Rogers as his running mate with promises to revamp HUD so it actually worked. He’d promise to make Bruce Banner head of the EPA because who better to help us go green.
He’d fly into debates and bring out girls to shoot t-shirt canons.
He’d put his tax returns into a PowerPoint presentation.
He would be the ultimate showman, oozing humor and charisma. He’d personally reply to all of Donny J’s tweets. He would have lunch with representatives of basically every media outlet. On a boat.
And when someone said he was ridiculous he would agree completely and reply “but am I really more ridiculous than TRUMP?”
Summary: You walk into your home one day to find your cat walking on two feet, in a human form.
You kicked the door shut after trying your best to get it opened with your unavailable hands that carried the heavy groceries. With a grunt you managed to reach for your cross body and throw it over the couch while making your way to the kitchen to put down and organise all the things you bought.
You had a simple life, a twenty years old girl who’s trying to make a living in this cruel world. Your parents had passed when you were young and ever since then you had to make your own money, be it from taking extra shifts at the cafè you worked in to working at McDonald’s where you used to visit when your parents were alive and wonder why people wanted to work there when most of the customers were absolute garbage and the atmosphere is unforgiving and suffocating. You had come to the realisation that those people didn’t have a choice because after all you had bills and a degree to pay for.
You would describe yourself single, you and your boyfriend broke up about a year ago, you would be really upset and heart broken if he wasn’t a douchebag and a selfish piece of shit or maybe because you only dated for a few months and realised he wasn’t the one for you.
You would say that you’re living in this apartment alone but you had a cat, a male adorable Scottish fold with the fluffiest fur ever. He was the only thing keeping you going through your hard times, he would always come and rub his head onto your feet when you arrive home, he always wanted your attention and would would beg and purr for your pettings just like he is now.
You crouch down to run your fingers through his adorable ears with the biggest smile sprawled onto your face, you can never help it when he looks at you like that. Only if a real man can actually look at you like this.
“Hi Kookie” you said while stretching each syllable out of adornment.
“How have you been? Were you being a good boy?” You said while peppering his fur with kisses near his ear and neck which earned you a lot purr and a lick from him.
Your cat wasn’t the typical cat that scratched at its owners if they touched him or pet him too much, yes he would get fiesty sometimes but most of the time he was peaceful and understanding. When you cry, you would find him at your lap looking as sad as you or dragging a toy in your direction in hopes that if you see him play around attend to your commands that you would feel mused and feeling better. You swore that he’s not a normal cat.
You carried him in your arms after organising everything in place. You headed to your room and put him into your bed where you would walk to your wardrobe to get a change of clothes. You took of your shirt followed by your bra, you didnt need to be suffocated at home wearing these merciless boob imprisonment outside was bad as it is, you put your head and arm through your tank top and changed your jeans into your matching pyjama shorts.
You liked to lay down in bed and pet your cat when you came back from a long day in attempt to gather a bit of energy to get up and try to make dinner. Kookie must be starving yoi thought as you patted at your lap to get your cat to come to you, which he obviously did you could swear that he liked being there maybe a little too much. You didn’t like your cat eating processed smelly canned food that they scam people with at the market, when you first got your cat 7 years ago, you didn’t have much money to get him special cat food and you would feed him whatever you were eating which he actually found much better than canned food that you bought for him when you finally earned money, he refused to eat it and you decided to never feed him it again.
“Sometimes, I wish you can speak to me” you said while rubbing his right ear between your thumb and pointer, he liked it the best when you petted his sweet tiny ears like that.
“I just feel silly when I speak about my day for hours when you probably can’t understand anything I’m saying apart from the word food” you laughed at yourself. Strangely your cat growled and it almost sounded like a scoff, did you just offend your cat?!
“Sorry. But you know im going to talk about my day either way” you shot him a sweet smile. He settled his head between his stretched paws that laid on your stomach.
“I… I think I’m going to quit” you said slowly. You didn’t expect your cat to understand the kind of world you live in. You are a hard working person but you can barely manage doing notes for class when you had two jobs like that, besides neither paid well for the long hours you worked. You though of quitting your job at McDonald’s because it was tough and was a complete crap of a job and the shifts you worked could spare you an entire night that you can use studying or maybe in the future, spare that time to work for someone who pays well.
“I’m just tired you know? I feel like my brain cells are dying when I work there. The people treat you so horribly, when I work late at night and go to clean the dirty tables I get groped and it feels disgusting. The smell is disgusting and I dont even comment on how bad the food we sell it. I feel so bad for selling people something that will reduce their life span” you sighed.
“I guess I really had enough, huh?” You said while picking up his left ear and massaging his head. The cat infront of you seemed to have understood you and gave you a pity look, which had quickly changed to what you could make out as annoyance and anger. Why are cats so weird yet absolutely beautiful.
“I guess it’s queue for dinner” you cheered,
“Grilled chicken? Or that salmon I just bought from the market baby?” You asked as if your cat would answer. You knew he would probably like salmon better and honestly, you were craving some salmon and a good beetroot salad.
The cat had followed you to the kitchen when the smell of fish showered your entire home. Of course you thought, what a typical cat he is. You noticed as he gets closer to you as you grill the salmon on the hot surface, he had wrapped your calf with his tail while looking up to you which made you squeal at his cuteness but remembered how dangerous it is for him to be close to an oven.
“I love you Kook but you have to go away, it’s dangerous here” you said before reaching for the fridge and taking out the rest of the ingredients necessary for the dish.
You had spent the rest of the night eating your dinner and watching a movie play on your TV with your beloved cat. You were feeling pretty tired and chose to end your night after emailing your boss at McDonald’s not to expect you at work anymore, you finally chose to quit but you weren’t sure if you were ready for the consequences. It’ll be okay, you whispered to yourself before shutting your eyes and brain to sleep.
The next morning, you woke up before he did like any other normal day. You headed to the bathroom and got ready to get ready for your classes, you would normally make food in the morning and put it down in a bowl so that when your cat is hungry it can eat while your not home, but as you quit your job at McDonald’s, today consisted of going to classes and coming back home early.
You made some coffee and put down a small breakfast for your cat incase it woke up before you got home but you doubted it since you’re going to come back within 3 hours and he’s showing no sign of wanting to get up any time soon. Smiling, you wore your winter coat and wrapped your neck with your favourite soft scarf and headed outside to start your day.
Classes were the same, difficult but manageable with effort anf effecient note taking, which you clearly havent done enough of. You didn’t make friends with the people that are in your course because you simply didnt have enough time to, but they all seemed somewhat nice you guessed.
Once the class was over you had a small break before the other one begins and you headed to the local university cafe for some coffee in attempt to really wake up. You waited in the queue to order your coffee, it was only one man with a slightly grey hair in front of you. You assumed he was one of those obnoxious frat party boys who dyed their hair a different colour every weekend. You rolled your eyes when you heard him ordering the same drink you were going to.
“Hi. Can I get a caramel machiatto please?” You asked of the barista, who nodded and asked for your name and the money, which of course you had given before you proceeded to wait for your drink. You had realised that the man in front of you was gone, that was quick you said before taking the drink that was placed on the table in front of you, that had said caramel machiatto on it.
You had sipped some before the same man reappears infront of you. Why was he here you said before turning away, only to hear your name and the drink you ordered being called out by the barista.
You turned around, and met the man again but this time, he was facing you and dear God, he was gorgeous. So unreal that you’d think he was an anime character. And you might have embarrassed yourself by taking his drink.
“Sorry, i thought you took your drink and left and I didn’t bother to check the name on the cup” you said shyly.
He took the drink placed on the table and turned it around before sipping it.
“No worries. Y/N” he said. He knew you?
“Um… Do I know you” you said confused.
“If that was a pick up line… You could do much better” he chuckled.
“Ahh.. not that. Its just you knew my name and I’m not much of a social person is all” you laughed as crismon stains your cheeks. You weren’t sure if you said that out of confusion or admiration and wanting to keep talking to him.
“The cup says your name” was all he said before giving you a smile.
“Right! Sorry again” you said,
“No problem at all” he said, before you left the cafe and continued to your class.
You were on your way home after that incident and you were smiling like a fool. At least we go to the same university, we’ll probably meet again, you thought. You didn’t know that this was not the only unexpected thing to happen today because as you turned the lock of your home open, you were met with a naked man.
“What the fuck?!” You screamed after taking in the scene right infront of you.
He wasn’t just one naked man, no he had what appears like cat ears and a fluffy long tail that you can mistake as your cat’s. You didn’t dare to look down and met his eyes, he was clearly as freaked out as you are, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. The more you looked into his eyes the more they resembled your cat’s that you stare hours in every night. You can never mistake any detail regarding your cat but this? This is insane!
“What are you doing in my house?!” You tried to be calm, not knowing how to deal with this situation. Was he a pervert with some strange kink, going to peoples homes and freaking them out like that?
“You’re home early” he said with a shrug, his voice sounding like the sweetest melody. When you fathomed what he just said you took a step back in shock. What the hell was that.
“Who are you?!” You tried to stay calm and collected.
“Really Y/N? You can’t tell how your cat looks like?”
“Thank God you found out this way, I was getting tired of having to stay in that stupid cat form and eat out the small bowl you would put my food in” he said annoyed.
This is not your cat. The man in front of you is definetly someone mental.
“If you think I’m gonna believe this then your out of your fucking mind” you retaliated.
He moved forward towards you before he shut the door forcefully and pinning you on it. He smirked before saying
“I can make you believe me”
He took your hand and placed them on the familar ears, they felt and looked just like your cat’s. You couldn’t help but rub them and the man in front of you leant towards your hand and purred.
You couldnt deny the fact that this pretty much is your actual cat in human form. All the memories of appearing naked and changing clothes in front of him rushed in your mind. You smacked your self mentally and stayed away from Jungkook. Yeah that was the name you had given your cat that you’d usually call Kookie.
“Why are you running away from me now?”, he said confused.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’re human” you ignored him.
“Because im not” he said as if it was obvious.
“You know what I mean. You’re a hybrid, same thing” you said sighing.
“Because like you are now, you’ll distance yourself from me” he looked down, all the smug that was on it disappeared. You sighed again, you’d never leave your cat. He was your life and you’ve even wished that he could talk to you. Your wishes had come true.
“Kookie” you said before making your way to him, his ears perked up and so did his head in attempt to look at you.
“I’d never leave you. You know that” you said as you took your fingers to push through his ears like you always do. He purred again and placed his arms around your waist while he rubbed his head into your chest.
“I-I always wanted to do this… have you between my arms instead of the usual way around” he said and you smiled.
“I do feel weird about it, but I could get used to it” you smiled.
A/N: I want to make this into a series but I wasn’t sure how many people would want that. If you do, don’t hesitate to submit a request!
I thought I’d do a post about the design of this little figure. I spent a lot of time dreaming up what this character might look like and then designing it into a figure. Getting the freedom to design a black doll that had black features was a big part of why I loved this project. Often other ethnicities aren’t properly represented in toys because of costs, but this was a really important thing to all of us at Goldie Blox and getting to execute on that vision was phenomenal for minority like myself.
It takes a lot of time and math to get these things right, and the involvement of many talented individuals. I was lucky to work with an the amazing toy director of Goldie Blox at the time Clint Cope, a great sculptor by the name of Jason Loik and a very passionate hair designer by the name of Karyn Byrd from Natural Girls United.
I’ve detailed some of the steps that go into making these, but there are many more int he entire manufacturing process, the initial creative looks funner in a tumblr post though. It takes about a year to complete one of these so it’s a very long process, but very satisfying when you finally see it on the shelf. Needless to say I’m excited to see it out in the world! More to come on a lot of what I worked on and created at my time at Goldie Blox.
Random story; I was at the toy store with my younger sister, who was playing with this playdough pop-up thing. The lady that was running it said something like ''I think the girls like the kitchen sets more because they want to be just like mummy''. I gave her a disapproving look. She said ''oooh, I'm getting a few disapproving looks". I've never felt so proud of myself.
!!! THATS AWESOME.
mini-rant: I hate how the toys directed towards girls are all kitchen sets or toy babies or doll houses. I loved my dollhouses growing up–and there’s nothing wrong with loving any of these things–but looking at it all now, the girl toys are almost all family oriented, sort of raising girls to become used to being a wife or being domestic. and the toys directed at boys are what? action figures, race cars, things relating to sports. those seem to start guys young thinking that they have to be tough and masculine. I could be overthinking it, but toys just seem so gendered. let your kids play with what they want to play with!!
I know it’s shorter than I normally would do-sorry!
“You bought me a what?” Claire asked in astonishment as she held the baby blue toy in her hand.
Jamie’s ears went pink but he doggedly carried on.
“A vibrator.” He said.
“Well, er–yes, obviously. Why?” Claire could hear the starch creep into her voice, as much as she would have preferred to be completely clinical about it.
“Well, ye ken sometimes it uhmm.” Jamie looked away, red creeping into full flush now. “I heard that many women find them verra helpful.” He explained.
“Did you?” she said. Jamie backed up three paces hearing the note of menace in her voice.
“From whom, Jenny?”
“God, no, Sassenach!”
But something had given him away, some tell.
Her eyes narrowed. “Then who? Who did you hear this piece of sage womanly wisdom from?”
“Marsali…” he said quietly.
Not for nothing, Claire was learning to read Mr. Fraser and knew enough to pay attention to what he didn’t say as much as did.
“And?” she demanded.
“Geneva.” He admitted.
Her arms crossed in front of her, she tapped her fingers on the opposite forearm and waited him out.
He added, “and Geillis.”
“WHAT?” She shrieked rounding on him.
“Perhaps I’m no’ explaining this right.” Jamie ran a hand through his hair.
“You got that right!” Claire huffed as she launched.
He had time to get his hands up in front of his face as the toy bounced off his forearms.
“Why in the hell were you discussing our sex life with them?” Embarrassed to enraged in under a minute.
“No!” Jamie quickly tried to correct her impression. “What do ye take me for Sassenach?”
Her look of withering scorn caused him to flinch. He tried to explain.
“I wouldna. It’s only that there is a new mmphm shop just opened off Centre and they were talking over lunch about it. They didna ken I was in the little conference room next door reviewing a new campaign. I needed the extra tables to spread out the photos. Anyway the door was opened and the discussion went on for a bit– what ones were the best, for what reasons. So, I went there a few days ago and picked up one of the ones they talked most about.”
Claire’s sense of outrage had calmed somewhat.
“But still, why?” she asked.
“Would ye maybe sit with me?” Jamie gestured to the couch.
Claire let out a martyred sigh and gracefully acquiesced.
Jamie tried to grab her hand but she pulled it back. He reached again and held firm. She would not look at him so he waited. And waited.
Finally she looked at him.
“You have been struggling with this for a long time and I dinna pretend to ken what ye need every time. But I’ve noticed that most of the time ye need a certain amount of pressure on yer….” The flush had returned to his face.
“Clitoris?” She bit out with medical precision. He nodded.
“And to be honest, Sassenach I’m usually way ahead of ye and it there are times when it takes a while to catch ye up and even then sometimes it doesna happen for ye. I ken it’s no’ as….satisfying for ye as it could be if we just had a wee bit of help.”
“Oh?” Claire’s indignant tone impossible to miss. “So basically I’m a lot of work?”
The look he gave her caused her feel slightly ashamed of her attitude but she squelched it. She practically vibrated with righteous indignation.
“Next you’ll order porn channels for the TV.” She humped.
“We can try that, too if ye like.” He stared her down.
Damn it how the hell was he on the wrong side of this one? He was trying to do a good thing. He never expected Claire to feel a stigma about it or think he was judging her and, for that matter, didn’t appreciate her judging him.
If it works, it works. Why did she have him on the defensive? Why was he letting her?
“You ken usually it’s the man who feels threatened by sex toys.” He observed.
Direct hit and she didn’t like him calling her out. He watched her normally easily readable face shut down, a hardened expression came over her.
Jamie forgot sometimes that Claire had her own doubts and uncertainties. He loved her confidence and self-assurance. That she might think herself less than he did seemed impossible to believe.
“I’m sorry if I offended ye, Sassenach. Or gave ye the wrong impression. I thought….Why shouldn’t you be in charge of your own pleasure? I thought ye might like that, think it fun. God, Claire, I thought we could talk about anything under the sun.”
He sounded a bit surprised and disappointed in her. She was having none of that.
“Maybe we could, I wouldn’t know, you didn’t discuss it with me at all you just decided.” She said.
And just like that, the moral high ground slipped from his feet.
I will post Chapter 20- Jealous Jamie a little earlier -on Thursday. And it is much longer. Seems to me we are all gearing up for an angsty fall … I hope I catch the mood right….