toxic medicine

It is only the dose which makes a thing poison.


A good reminder that anything (even something essential like water!) can be toxic in large enough quantities. On the other hand, not all “poisonous” things (like medications, etc) are harmful, and with the correct doses, could even be beneficial enough to save a life. 

Don’t judge a “toxin” by its cover. 

vantastrophe  asked:

I messaged you quite some time ago about dealing with an old school micromanager for a dr. Turns out I've been ignoring flags of abuse in her behavior to the point where I feel trapped here. I've cut back my hours but I think I'll be quitting within the next few months. What can I ask future clinics in interviews to avoid this situation again, if I can at all? Side note: Steven universe soundtrack coming out in June, ahhhhh!!!!

My apologies but I can’t seem to find the previous ask to refer to. If you have an abusive boss or are in a toxic workplace, the best thing you can do now is to like up everything you need and leave. The sooner you can escape, the better.

I have worked for a veterinarian who I would label abusive and dangerous. Most of the local industry is aware of them, but because they are capable of being so charming when they want something from you they get away with the same bull again and again.

The only reason I stayed in that place for as long as I did, and I’d decided after two days there that I needed to leave, was that all us ‘underlings’ looked out for each other. We were all shielding each other to the best of our abilities from the boss, but the reluctance to leave each other exposed or with a higher workload actually trapped many of us for longer than we should have allowed.

You may find your brain starts highlighting fed flags in other people’s behavior if you’ve been burnt badly enough by this abusive boss. That’s a self preservation instinct, and that’s what it’s there for. Sometimes it will develop into an anxiety, so watch it carefully, but pay attention to those red flags. human behavior is complex and there will no doubt be subtleties that I miss in the following list of warning signs and things to check.

  • Always advertising one or more positions. Frequent job adverts might be just bad luck, or they might be a red flag
  • Vague reasons why why previous staff members are leaving, or refusal to discuss them.
  • ‘Good’ reasons for job openings include a staff member moving interstate, parental leave, moving onto further education opportunities, or just a job opening because business is expanding.
  • A very low starting wage with ‘review’ after X weeks.
  • Haven’t actually read your resume
  • Hassling you after offering the job for you to sign a contract
  • Anything unusual in the contract
  • Ask current staff members if they’re happy
  • Decide whether or not they’re telling the truth
  • Ask if you can contact previous employees.
  • Take lots of referrals from clients that live far away
  • The ‘staff’ section on the website is not current, or only features the boss/practice owner
  • High staff turnover
  • Lots of charm. Everything’s kind of shiny and showy. Not obviously good substance behind it.

The difficulty with potentially abusive bosses and toxic workplaces is that they can be hard to spot, they don’t all have obvious clues. Sometimes you do just need to try things and see, which isn’t all that helpful. It might be more useful in the short term to know what your own limits are, what you can put up with, and what you definitely will not.


Hypericum perforatum, Hypericaceae

If you’ve seen large clumps of bright yellow flowers in sunny and grassy locations earlier this summer, chances are it was the very common perforate St. John’s-wort, native to Europe and Western Asia, but naturalised extensively around the world. Although the flowers are not as large or showy, you can probably recognise the structure as being identical to the other species of Hypericum I wrote about, tutsan (H. androsaemum) and the hybrid Hypericum x moserianum.  

It is often considered a noxious weed which can cause severe damage to livestock if consumed in large enough quantities, either fresh (although most animals avoid the plant if given a choice) or dried and mixed with hay during winter. The symptoms of poisoning range from photo-sensitivity to convulsions and death, which give an idea of the potential danger its two main active compounds, hypericin and hyperforin, can pose. These compounds are also what gives the plant the medicinal properties it’s been known since antiquity for, most notably as an antidepressant. Now, there would be a lot to write about when it comes to the ways perforate St. John’s-wort has been used, and the ailments treated by it, but, as I stated before, I won’t go to far into it due to its potential toxicity. Regardless of all the above, it is another great flower to attract wildlife to your garden. 

Wrong Place Wrong Time (11)

Part 11 of an ongoing series, enjoy :)
A fanfic for a more Mature audience due to violence and language. Read at your own risk :)

Themes=😖,🌟,💣,🎭. (☠️- Harm towards characters and Strong language.)

Summary: You end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and it has negative repercussions. Main characters include: Reader and EXO.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4  Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10  Part 12 Part 13   Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21Part 22Part 23Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27   Part 28Part 29  Part 30   Part 31Part 32Part 33  Part 34  Part 35 (Final)

Word Count: 2,535

You immediately began to regret what you had done to Jongdae, panic setting deep into the pit of your stomach as you rushed up the stairs and back along the corridors to Yixing’s room. Minseok already hated you and so there was no way he would hold back in making you suffer when he came for you. You hadn’t comprehended the torture he would put you through when you were mindlessly standing up to Jongdae, but now that you thought about it you were terrified beyond belief.

By the time you had got back to Yixing’s room he was already awake wincing at the pain of the alcohol that was rubbed into his wound you assumed. You set the items you had on the floor beside his bed and looked at him, concerned with how much pain he was in, seeing others suffering had always made you feel uncomfortable for as long as you could remember.

“Did-did you do this?” Yixing pulled a face of discomfort, placing his hand over the covered wound.

“Yeah, I tried disinfecting it. Sorry for the pain.”

“No. It’s okay. Thank you.” He took a deep breath out. You smiled lightly as it was the first time you felt appreciated in this madhouse and it made you feel slightly warm inside. “Why? You could’ve just let me get infected and have me die. After all the shit that’s happened to you in here. I know you hate us all.”

“Because I’m not that kind of person. Besides I don’t hate you all, not you and Baekhyun anyway. Junmyeon is okay too I guess.”

“And Chanyeol?” Yixing turned his head to face you. You rolled your eyes, walking over to the desk where Junmyeon had placed the tea and soup earlier. Picking up the tea you took it over to where Yixing was. “Y/N you can’t ignore Chanyeol forever you know, you have to speak to him at one point.”

“It’s time to stitch you up, hold this.” You ignored him, handing him the cup of tea. You didn’t want to talk about Chanyeol.
You weren’t sure how much of the liquid anaesthetic to put into the cup, so you only put in a few small drops. “Drink this so I can stitch the wound.” You said, pushing the cup towards Yixing’s lips and picking up the needle and thread. He sighed taking the tea from your hands and drank it in one go.

“Have you ever done this before?” He looked at you through worried eyes

“No Yixing. I’m a business woman not a surgeon or an underground mafia nurse.” He rolled his eyes at you and how sarcastic you were being. “If it makes you feel any better I took a textiles module in high school, I have experience stitching and sewing clothes.”

“Yeah, yeah that makes me feel much better.” He stuck out his tongue. “Look Y/N I’m not usually one to brag, but I have a pretty gorgeous torso so if you mess this us up –”

“Shut up and close your eyes.” You pricked him in the arm with your needle, causing him to swear at you.

You waited impatiently for twenty minutes for Yixing to drift off, but he was still wide awake.
“Why aren’t you asleep yet?” You pouted, getting panicky that someone would walk into Yixing’s room to see how he was doing any moment soon.

“That’s because you didn’t put enough anaesthetic in to knock me out.”

“Well how am I supposed to stitch you up now? Shall I put more in your soup?” You started to get more worried your eyes darting between him and the soup.

“Calm down Y/N I’m awake but I can’t feel anything, you can just go ahead and patch me up. Go and lock the door and try and be quick.” You nodded curtly, walking over to the door to lock it. Returning to your spot you knelt down beside Yixing so you could get started on ‘fixing’ him.
As you began to stitch his body slowly and carefully you realised how toned he was. His chest rising and falling rhythmically in time with his breathing and how smooth his skin felt under your fingertips.
“Wow, it’s pretty straight.” Yixing murmured behind your ear, the realisation that he was watching you intently made you feel nervous and your hands began to shake, but luckily you had just about finished, tying the knot and cutting the thread.

“Finished.” You breathed, hiding all of the things you used in one of Yixing desk draws, leaving the vodka and now-empty bowl under his bed; you’d clean that up another time. You walked over to the door unlocking it.

“Wait.” Yixing dragged the sheets over his body. “You’re leaving straight away? Didn’t you want to talk?”

You shrugged and turned to look at him “About what? How you guys are going to kill me off? No thanks. I’d rather leave the element of surprise there.” You scoffed and turned to face the door.

“No. I mean like normal things. Where’s your favourite place to go? That kind of stuff.”
You turned to face him again, frowning.

“None of that matters if I’m stuck in here. Besides I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay, But I do…” He said trying to sit up so he could get a better view of you. This time you took a step away from the door and walked closer towards him. Sighing he pointed to the edge of the bed, signalling for you to sit there.

“I’m still a human too. It get’s lonely in here, I need someone to talk too.”

“Lonely?” You laughed mockingly “There are 9 of you living in this house, how lonely can it get?”

“It does, you don’t understand. I love the guys with all my heart but there are days when we fall out, when we’re sick and tired of each other. We can’t tell each other everything. I wouldn’t dare telling the boys of when I’m feeling scared and worthless; it would make me seem so small. But you on the other hand, I guess you’re kind of my objective outlet, in fact I bet you any money deep down everyone wants to get something off their chest whilst talking to you. Including Minseok. Plus… I don’t know… I guess it’s just refreshing having a girl around.”

You sat there quietly for a moment and in all honesty a feeling of gratitude and pride began to swell in your chest, you felt honoured even though you were somewhat forced and obliged into doing whatever the boys wanted.

“If we’re going to talk I want some answers. I’m tired of being kept in the dark.” You huffed crossing your arms over your chest.

“Fine.” Yixing sighed. “What do you want to know?”

You rubbed your chin between your thumb and index finger, thinking of what question out of the many stored in the back of your mind to ask first.

“Okay…” You began. “I want to know exactly who you all are and why you’re doing all of this. Surely you can’t just be doing all of this for fun? i know nothing about you and when I think about it like that it makes it all the more scarier. I don’t even know my closest friend like I thought I did.”

Yixing took a deep breath and began to talk.
“No of course we’re not just doing this for fun Y/N like I said before we have our purpose. We’re all here because we had been wronged in one way or another. Every single one of us has lost a loved one, someone we care about; apart from Chanyeol and that’s why we’re here. That’s why he’s here, to prevent it from happening. Kill or be killed, don’t you agree?” You frowned in confusion, you still didn’t know what Yixing was getting at.
“Obviously you’ve heard of Red’s corporation and The Genesis Corporation right?” You nodded quickly, of course you had, who hadn’t they were huge companies.
“Okay then, so I don’t have to go into depth about what they do. But you know that both are worth billions. Red’s came about first and they were doing very well. What are the two things everyone needs in life? Food and medical supplies, so that’s what they decided to produce. They were making so much money in a matter of years, distributing their stock across the world, but the more they came into demand the more money hungry the founder became, he lessened the quality and started cutting and splicing foods and medicines with toxic and illegal substances to increase his supplies. Hundreds of thousands died at the hands of him all over the globe. Do you remember around 8 years ago when many people began to die due to a tropical disease brought from wherever the news said it was?” Your eyes widened as you nodded, yes you remembered that.
“Well that was a cover a story. Money talks Y/N and the founder of Red’s was able to bribe the authorities into silence, people were dying mercilessly at the hands of impure products but the founder of the company couldn’t be happier because he was raking in billions. His name’s Jay Lee, but you’ll hear us referring to him as Red.” He took a breath and continued on with his story.

“Suddenly a few years after Red Corp, Genesis comes into play. Producing the exact same things as Red only good quality things, things that were pure and not tampered with. During this time the Genesis sales began to increase whilst Red’s sales began to decrease, leaving what I assumed to be a big hole in his pocket. Genesis started up because the founder didn’t believe what Red’s stood for. He founded Genesis because his wife was one of the victims of the toxic substances that Red’s were distributing, so he founded the company in honour of his wife and the many that died at the hand’s of Jay Lee. Many people began to join the Genesis Company, mostly those who’s families had been victims of the scandal too and the company grew in no time. The founder of Genesis was Junmyeon’s grandfather Y/N. He started it up because his wife was killed by the toxic medicines that Red’s were creating. He started it up because of Junmyeon’s grandmother.”

Your eyes widened in shock as you held your breath, you were not expecting that at all. Poor Junmyeon growing up without his Grandmother.

“It doesn’t end there. Don’t cry just yet” Yixing said in a sullen voice. “Those people that joined the Genesis Corporation were each of our family members Y/N we’ve all had a loved one who has died at the hands of Red. Baekhyun’s sister, Jongdae’s aunt. Both of Minseok’s parents…”
You placed your hand over your heart to stop it from shattering to pieces, these men were all broken inside yet they acted as though they were so tough.
“Anyway, Red wasn’t to happy about Genesis obviously and decided to take it into his own hands to bring the corporation down. So that’s when he had his company form an underground gang. Stealing goods from Genesis and rebranding it under his name. It got very… messy. His sales still hadn’t increased so he…he had Junmyeon’s Grandfather killed.” He paused for breath and to stop himself from crying. “So Junmyeon’s father took over the company. He said he’d handle the situation, but no matter what happened we all had to promise to not form an underground gang. Obviously we can’t keep promises very well.” He sighed, looking at you through tired eyes. “Red had Junmyeon’s father killed too. Now Junmyeon’s older brother has inherited the company, but the first thing he did was make an underground mafia, which is us, and I don’t blame him. He also did it to keep Junmyeon safe, and I know it seems ironic that to keep his brother safe he’d make him the leader of whatever fucked up squad we are, but it really was the only way to keep him away from the worst of it. So I guess he’s fighting to keep his brother safe whilst we’re fighting to keep our loved ones who work for Genesis safe and I guess you could argue that we’re fighting to keep producing good products for the world to use.”
You were silent for a moment, you didn’t know how to feel, they were monsters with a cause and you weren’t sure if that made the situation better.

“How is Chanyeol involved in all of this?” You asked. You didn’t recall him telling you of a family member that had died.

“Do you remember 4 years ago Chanyeol’s dad got a new job?” Yixing asked, you nodded, you remembered the day Chanyeol had told you that, you were both snuggled under a blanket on the sofa watching an animated film, you also remembered the week after he himself had got a job, but he never really told you what it was about. “Well, that new job was at Genesis. None of his family had died he didn’t join for justice I think he was just purely unlucky at landing a job at what he didn’t know was a war zone. Chanyeol joined us to make sure he could keep his dad safe. The crazy part about all of this is that his dad doesn’t even know that he’s part of this underground team.” Yixing shifted a little trying to get himself into a comfortable spot, his speech was slowing and you could see he was beginning to feel tired. “Somewhere in the midst of all of this we stopped fighting for a cause, now we fight for revenge and out of hatred. Now we’re just programmed to kill and we can’t stop ourselves, our loved ones would be so ashamed, I can just feel it. This is why we’re all trying to keep Sehun as far away from it all as possible, we need to protect his sanity, even if the rest of us are mad…but I feel like he’s slowly slipping away, no thanks to Minseok.”

You felt empty after everything Yixing had told you. And even after you knew why Chanyeol was doing this you still couldn’t help but feel anger towards him and you didn’t know why. Yixing let out a yawn and slowly stretched his arms out. You rose from the bed covering him properly with the sheets and walking towards the door.

“You should get some sleep Yixing. I’ll check on you later. Goodnight” 

“You promise you’ll check on me?” His eyes lit up like a kid in a candy shop, and it was at this point you realised that these men just wanted to be loved like anyone else did. They wanted to be valued and told everything would be okay. Maybe it was time to change your approach to them and tend to their needs more, maybe they weren’t as bad as you initially thought. They were monsters. Just not heartless ones.

“I promise.” You whispered turning off the light and closing the door behind you.

beklay  asked:

How do doctors figure out what dose of a med to give? Do you usually start with the lowest dose and work your way up until therapeutic effects are seen? Or is there some super secret weight x height x age calculation. Also, if there are multiple drugs (for example OCD) that are in the same class how do you decide which one to try first?

That’s a good question with a very complicated answer. There are a lot of different ways we come about picking a dosage. 

In pediatrics, dosing is mostly done by weight, so it’s like a mg/kg/day calculation, with a max dose set so you don’t use too much. Some adult drugs are also dosed this way, (for example insulin, enoxaparin, and some chemotherapeutic agents) but it’s much less common. Some drugs are dosed by checking levels in a patient’s blood. You titrate the dose up or down to achieve a therapeutic level (warfarin, digoxin, many seizure drugs and some antibiotics) or avoid a toxic level. 

In adult medicine we do often start at the lowest dose and titrate up as needed. As we gain experience we develop a “feel” for certain drugs and know generally what effect a certain dose will get us. Some drugs have standard dosing for different conditions. Antibiotics have standard doses that vary depending on what type of infection you’re treating. 

Lots of drugs are also dosed based on a patient’s kidney or liver function. If a patient has renal insufficiency, you often have to lower their drug dose because the drug is not broken down or excreted as efficiently. 

As for picking different drugs in the same class, that is where the art of medicine often comes into play over the science. First the science: let’s take beta blockers as a class. Some beta blockers are more specific to the heart, whereas others act more peripherally on blood vessels. We use these different mechanisms to our advantage depending on what type of result we are looking for in the drug (blood pressure reduction vs. heart rate reduction). I feel like antidepressants are a great example of the art of medicine. When I see a patient for depression, I ask a lot of questions about their physical and emotional symptoms. Some people are more anxious or irritable when they’re depressed, whereas others are very down and lack motivation and need a bit of a boost. Certain antidepressants are more calming and thus are great for the anxious/irritable depressed person and others are more “activating” and are good for the person who can’t bring themselves to shower or get out of bed. That’s stuff you learn from experience mostly. 

We also often use side effects to our advantage or to help us choose a medication. If a patient has depression and has a loss of appetite and isn’t sleeping, I might choose Remeron (mirtazapine), which is sedating and stimulates appetite. On the other hand, I might stray away from an antidepressant like Cymbalta (duloxetine) in a woman who has terrible hot flashes, because Cymbalta is notorious for causing/worsening hot flashes. It’s all about knowing your side effect profiles. I really like that part of medicine.  I always to try to kill as many birds as I can with one stone and it’s also hugely important to consider a patient’s other conditions and drugs when adding a new one. To me it’s really satisfying to pick a drug that works for a patient on multiple levels. 


Solanum dulcamara, Solanaceae

Looking at the small purple flowers of bittersweet, also known as climbing nightshade, it’s easy to notice the resemblance to those of tomato, potato and aubergine, as they are all members of the Solanaceae. However the berries this plant produces are safe to eat only for some birds which perform seed dispersal, while toxic for us and other mammals. This is generally a well-known fact, but still, I heard more than one person my grandparents’ age talking about sucking on the stems when they were kids as they are sweet at first and then become bitter, hence the common name (they didn’t have sugar-filled junk food back then…). Regardless of its toxicity, the plant has also been traditionally used for its medicinal properties, which I won’t list here as I decided from now on I’ll refrain from giving this sort of information about potentially dangerous plants which could be misused. 

Although I have had a strong interest in recognising medicinal plants for as long as I can remember, that doesn’t make me a herbalist, so, if you are interested in actually using any of the plants I write about do your part: research and pay particular attention to the sources you use, and if you have old books look for updated content. For example, I own a botanical pharmacology book which I love, but it belonged to my cousin who began studying pharmacy the year I was born, almost 30 years ago! Also, in my spice cabinet in the kitchen I keep some yarrow oil I made this summer and I use it whenever I burn myself with the oven or cut myself by accident: this is very different from preparing a decoction of multiple herbs for internal use to treat something more serious, don’t do it without asking your doctor for advice! I know this is all common sense, but better safe than sorry! Happy (careful) foraging!


Scheele’s Green: Death On The Walls

In the 1850’s oil lamps, with their brighter light, replaced candles as the main source of household illumination, and so walls no longer needed to be pale reflective colours. Dark shades became fashionable and of these, there was a passion for Scheele’s Green. Anyone who was ‘on trende’ had to have a ‘green room’. Unfortunately, what people failed to realize was that their prized wallpaper was coloured with arsenic, and very likely poisoning them. 

Despite apprehensions and documented cases concerning their safety dating back as far as this, it was not until later in the century when leading physicians began to support poisoning theories and a potential mechanism was found, that the general public took notice. 
Even so, it Queen Victoria was seemingly unaware of the danger when in 1879 she abraided a guest for being late for his audience. His defence was that he had slept poorly because of the green wallpaper in his bedroom. Astonished to learn of the dangers of arsenical papers the Queen had every bit of wallpaper stripped out of Buckingham Palace.

Despite the increasing body of support for campaigns to ban the production of such papers, parliament ignored the public health scandal choosing instead to favour the huge profit arsenic mining brought by it. Regardless of the lack of legislation, wallpapers containing arsenic pigments eventually fell out of popularity as the public voted with their feet and chose to purchase “arsenic-free” papers instead.


Jacobaea vulgaris, Asteraceae

Whether you live in Eurasia or another humid temperate area of the world, you are likely to see the large clumps of bright yellow flowers ragwort will keep producing through the summer until late autumn. Now mostly considered a noxious weed, this showy perennial has been recorded well through history with a variety of common names, many referring to the unpleasant smell of the leaves. The plant is also very bitter, which is good, because if consumed it’s toxic to many mammals -us humans included- and thus often avoided by animals in pastures, but the toxic effect is cumulative so it can still pose some danger for livestock when continuously present over an extended period of time. 

It has been used extensively in herbalism, from treating warts and cancerous lesions with its juice, much like with Chelidonium majus’, to alleviating and regularising the menstrual cycle. The plant is still toxic though, it can sometimes cause dermatitis just from handling it, so there are safer options. If some is growing in your garden it’s not so bad though: ragwort is extremely attractive to a great number of species which will visit it for different reasons, but is also fairly easy to control as long as you prevent it from going all the way to seed. 


Czy toksyczne związki mają szansę kiedykolwiek pozbyć się tej trucizny?

Papaverine is an opium alkaloid used as a smooth muscle relaxant and vasodilator. It is a non-addictive derivative of the opium plant. Use of papaverine, however, can result in excessive sweating, headache, loss of appetite, vertigo and other side effects.  

From Ancient Greek ὑπέρ (up, above) and ὀξύς (sharp, dazzling, pungent, acid [because of the role of oxygen in acids formation])  

♒ Aquarians appreciate the indulgence of mind exploration and new discovery; so they can experiment with recreational drugs. These individuals tend to have toxic responses to pharmaceutical medicines and can also become obsessed and fanatical with extreme dieting habits. The presence of emotions makes their natural sense of certainty disappear


Hello, puppies! As many of you know, I am blessed to have two precious pugs in my life: Hellboy & Kurgan. Kurgan is the newest addition to the family & he’s only five months old. He’s a clumsy, big baby with a huge heart!

A couple of days I noticed he was missing patches of fur all over his body. I was able to take him to the vet yesterday & it turns out he’s suffering a bad case of non-contagious scabies. He will be needing a seven week long treatment via medical baths, which I can’t give him myself ‘cause that would mean handling a very toxic medicine that I feel it’s much safer if it’s applied by professionals.

Each bath costs the equivalent to $25USD. Kurgan is having his first medical bath as we speak, so I only need to save money for the remaining six treatments! I currently live off of savings so any unexpected expense really throws me off, that’s why I’m opening art commissions specifically to raise the money for my baby Kurg’s health. Donations will be greatly appreciated, but I don’t expect you to throw away your money for this.

Anyway, here’s the commission menu:

Bust Portraits $15USD

Full Body Portraits $25USD

Limited Animation Gif $40USD

The commissioned artwork is limited to single-subjects only, but I can throw in one pet of yours free of charge! If you are interested in ordering anything from me, write me an email to:

If you’re broke like me, reblogging this posts helps as much! And if your heart is huge & you have money to burn, any donation can be sent to the same email address via PayPal. Please do not send me a payment for a commission before discussing it with me via email or I’ll take it as a donation, m'kay? 

Thanks again!

Modern feminism is like expired medicine. At one point it was useful, but it no longer serves its purpose. Other people may need medicine in other countries, but this particular medicine is outdated, and a newer type of medicine gives a better result.

If anything, it makes things worse when taken now, so don’t listen to other people telling you how much you need that medicine. Even if you did, there are better and more effective ones out there. The expired medicine is toxic. Unless the company is willing to fix it’s own medicine, it can’t be mad that people don’t want to take it.

Many Earth individuals suffer toxic responses to chemical medicine and processed food. They find reliable benefit from organic diets and natural medicine where they carry on knowledge of ancient earth healing arts and pure sorcery. There tends to be no repression of the need for adequate nutrition, natural sleep cycles, exercise and fresh air; where the creative forces of nature are harnessed and the complete reliance on sensory stimulation can take over

Friday Follow-Up...

Hi Friends & Family who come here for updates on real life stuff and not just the fluff that I usually gravitate toward. This one is for you…

The two questions I get several times a day:

How are you?

How’s your Mom?

Well…here are your answers.

About me: I continue to feel a bit manic but I suppose that comes with the territory of what life looks like for me these days. Experiencing a dichotomy of emotions that vacillate between feeling both happy and deeply in love (my guy) and extremely scared-but-forcing-an-optimistic-and-positive-outlook (my mom) will do that to just about anyone. So, in light of my 32nd birthday, I went out and got the best present I could think of…a therapist.

I thought that being a 10-year resident of the concrete jungle made me a true New Yorker but the whole having a shrink thing might actually be just the thing to validate my city dweller status, am I right? Ain’t no shame in that, my friends. 

About Mom: As of today, she’s been fighting PC for 7 months. She’s doing well and looks fantastic. In fact, she looks so good that people might start to think that she’s been faking this thing all along. I mean, her hair has never looked better (um, it’s a wig…but you can’t tell) and she’s far surpassed her “goal weight” (too bad it’s because chemo strips you of your appetite, taste buds, and ability to enjoy most food - let alone the ability to keep it down. Fun stuff, right?).

She had a big test earlier this week that indicated that the tumors have gotten a bit smaller since her last scan. That’s good news! The bummer news that followed was that she wouldn’t be able to take the break from her chemo treatments that we hoped for. Several weeks ago, her doctor indicated that a month or two off from treatment might be a possibility. Our hopes were high and plans for trips, some strength building, and dreams of a much needed hiatus from the grueling schedule and toxic medicine were planted. To hear that she couldn’t take the pause she anticipated was a complete blow to our Go, Fight, Win outlook for a little while. Slowly but surely, our ability to build up hope and optimism is returning and we’ll be right back on the Let’s Beat This Thing Bandwagon in no time. It’s a Dull thing…can’t keep us down for long.

Completely unrelated (but not really because I’m constantly looking for the simple joys and that goes hand in hand with the optimistic biznaz), the sky was crazy-town beautiful yesterday. Perhaps God thought he’d remind me that we’re not alone in this battle. I’m a strong person but this particular struggle is REAL and if I’m not on the defense, it’s way too easy for fear and doubt to squeeze it’s way in. Everyone copes in different ways but for me, my faith is the one and only thing that could ever get me through this. That goes for Mom too. 


(PS - if you have any questions or comments, feel free to message me or email me at I have turned off the ability for anonymous comment/inquiries here because people are whack, yo!).