toxic ii

CALM DOWN AND WORK - for those who prefer chill music while they’re studying or a special playlist for those studying for finals and are over-stressing

i. work song - hozier // ii. toxic (cover) - melanie martinez // iii. make it rain - ed sheeran // iiii. cherry wine - hozier // v. 1957 - milo greene // vi. cold coffee - ed sheeran // vii. i miss you - blink-182 // viii. we’re going to be friends (cover) - caroline pennell // ix. the moon song - karen o & ezra koenig // x. flower - cody simpson // xi. upside down - jack johnson // xii. sun shy - dresses // xiii. the camel song - clara c // xiv. the sunshine of your youth - cheerleader // xv. geronimo - sheppard // xvi. bombom (ft. the teaching) - macklemore & ryan lewis // xvii. stockholm syndrome - one direction // xviii. fantasy alina baraz & galimatias // xix. pass the vibes - donnie trumpet & the social experiment // xx. strawberry bubblegum - justin timberlake // xxi. rocket - tori kelly // xxii. lay me down - sam smith // xxiii. ordinary people - john legend // xxiv. aquaman - walk the moon // xxv. she was mine (ft. aj rafael) - jesse barrera // xxvi. unbreakable smile - tori kelly // xxvii. norwegian wood (this bird has flown) - the beatles // xxviii. goodbye (chatham square) - aj rafael

Toxic [II]

Summary: “We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.” -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice. His dark demeanor is nothing more than a mystery to you. His dark past explains the reasoning of his desired passion to completely destroy every inch of your innocence.

Warning: Angst [M]

Word Count: 4k

Toxic Masterlist

Originally posted by co-kai-ne


It was clouding your thoughts like smoke, suffocating you with every inch of those words that left his lips. His voice cycling through with every breath of air you thought you could take. You had known him for less than 24 hours and he had already made it clear that he was going to the center of your attention without having to tell you.

Keep reading

Stop threatening to kill developers

Its not going to stop shitty loot boxes in Battlefront 2, its often the suits at the top of EA who are the ones who choose to put garbage into their games like pay to win elements in a full price game, not the devs. Don’t threaten to kill the CEO’s either, that isn’t going to help. Just keep letting them know what a fuck heap their fee to pay games are and don’t buy them, its all you can do.

every time people paint rey as a poor helpless victim of the terribly kyle ron I just 🤔🤔🤔 and rewind poe’s interrogation like oKAY JAN, WHATEVER YOU SAY. THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY SO MUCH WORSE IN COMPARISON LMAO.

modottirecap  asked:

Sup. Whats good on Netflix and is vital that I add to my queue? I figured I'd hit up the Queen of Horror Films on this. Stay badass. With love and gore, Robs.

Well, let’s see…I think it would be best to break them all up into categories (ones I consider to be absolute “must-see” films will be in bold).

1920’s-1960’s:

  • Nosferatu (1929)
  • White Zombie (1932)
  • The House on Haunted Hill (1959)
  • Black Sunday (1960)
  • Black Sabbath (1964)
  • Night of the Living Dead (1968)
  • Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

1970’s:

  • Bay of Blood (1971)
  • The Baby (1973)
  • The Legend of Hell House (1973)
  • Madhouse (1974)
  • The Incredible Melting Man (1977)
  • Barracuda (1978)
  • Piranha (1978)

1980’s:

  • Nightmare City (1980)
  • My Bloody Valentine (1981)
  • C.H.U.D. (1984)
  • Children of the Corn (1984)
  • The Stuff (1985)
  • Day of the Dead (1985)
  • Re-Animator (1985)
  • Fright Night (1985)
  • Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
  • Dead End Drive-In (1986)
  • Nomads (1986)
  • House (1986)
  • Vamp (1986)
  • Maximum Overdrive (1986)
  • Howling III: The Marsupials (1987)
  • Evil Dead II (1987)
  • Hellraiser (1987)
  • Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
  • Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
  • The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
  • Dead Heat (1988)
  • Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988)

1990’s:

  • Night of the Living Dead (1990)
  • Hardware (1990)
  • The People Under the Stairs (1991)
  • Candyman (1992)
  • Leprechaun (1993)
  • Heavenly Creatures (1994)
  • The Prophecy (1995)
  • Stephen King’s The Langoliers (1995)
  • The Frighteners (1996)
  • From Dusk ‘Till Dawn (1996)
  • Scream (1996)
  • Curdled (1996)
  • Jack Frost (1997)
  • Office Killer (1997)
  • Wishmaster (1997)
  • Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997)
  • Funny Games (1997)
  • The Blair Witch Project (1999)

2000’s+:

  • Darkness Falls (2003)
  • Satan’s Little Helper (2004)
  • Severed: Forest of the Dead (2005)
  • Fido (2006)
  • The House of the Devil (2009)
  • Dead Snow (2009)
  • The Human Centipede (2009)
  • Antichrist (2009)
  • FDR: American Badass (2012)
  • Citadel (2012)
  • V/H/S/ (2012)
  • V/H/S/2 (2013)


Troma Movies:

  • The Toxic Avenger (1985)
  • The Toxic Avenger Part II (1989)
  • The Toxic Avenger Part III (1989)
  • Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2002)
  • Class of Nuke ‘Em High (1986)
  • Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)
  • Tromeo & Juliet (1995)
  • Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D. (1996) (not horror, but it’s worth seeing)
  • Cannibal! The Musical (1996)
  • Poultrygeist (2006)

Kaiju:

  • Godzilla Raids Again (1955)
  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters (1956)
  • Rodan (1956)
  • Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964)
  • Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster (1964)
  • Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (1965)
  • Godzilla’s Revenge (1969)
  • Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)

Foreign Language:

  • Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)
  • Battle Royale (2000)
  • Ichi the Killer (2001)
  • Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)
  • The Host (2006)
  • Let the Right One In (2008)
  • Helldriver (2010)
  • Tormented (2011)
  • White (2011)

Documentaries/Trailer Compilations:

  • Mad Ron’s Prevues from Hell (1987)
  • Kingdom of Shadows (1998)
  • Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue (2009)
  • Best Worst Movie (2009)
  • Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010)
  • The Truth Behind Zombies (2010)
  • Nightmare Factory (2011)
  • Ray Harryhausen: Special Effects Titan (2011)
  • Celluloid Bloodbath (2012)

Haven’t seen yet, but I’ve heard good things:

  • The Keep (1983)
  • Dust Devil (1992)
  • G-Men from Hell (2000)
  • Dorororo (2008)
  • I Sell the Dead (2008)
  • Pontypool (2008)
  • Rubber (2010)
  • Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010)
  • Stake Land (2010)
  • Devil (2010)
  • Hypothermia (2010)
  • Troll Hunter (2010)
  • The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
  • Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (2011)
  • I Saw the Devil (2011)
  • Chillerama (2011)
  • John Dies at the End (2012)
  • Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012)
  • The Devil’s Carnival (2012)
  • Antiviral (2012)
  • Bad Milo! (2013)

With Netflix, there’s no guarantee on how long any movie will remain available for streaming, so watch ‘em while you still can! :D

Toxic Relationship II

Hello guys! So, a lot of people have been messaging me that I should write a part two of my V Drabble, one with a happy ending. So that’s what I did. I wrote a happy ending for you, but just as a heads up… I suck at happy endings. Hope you enjoy! ^^

(part one here)

“Don’t you ever say you miss me with her spit still on your tongue.“

        It starts off so slowly that Taehyung doesn’t even know that it’s happening.

        It starts the day after he left you alone in your bedroom, the day he left you cold and broken just so he could go back to her. They’ve made up, got back together for the umpteenth time. And she had pulled on his sleeve that night, her lips pouty and eyes suggestive as she gestured towards her bedroom, soft whining noises escaping from the back of her throat. Tae feels something tighten in his lower abdomen and he wants to go, wants to follow her into her bedroom so bad and do what comes natural to him, and he could go – he should go (this is his girlfriend, after all). But every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, your gaze burning and lips moist and your eyes are soft, full of love and worry as you ask him, “Are you sure?”

        And Taehyung can’t find it in himself to go with her, not when he was with you just a few hours before, so all he does is hug her to his chest, placing a soft kiss to the top of her head as he mentally apologizes to both of the girls he loves for causing so much trouble.

        So the next day, when Tae is sitting with her in between his legs, leaning back against the cushions as the members watch a movie, he knows no one is surprised by the fact that they’re back together. This is them; they fight and break up and make up and then things are good.

        (Of course no one knows what Taehyung does when they’re in the breakup stage, no one knows that he seeks comfort in between your bed sheets. And if it’s up to him, no one ever will.)

        He wonders what people think about him, what do they think when they see him with her? He knows what they think when they see you two, he’s heard it often enough. Years of having people coo on the streets “Ooh, you two are just the cutest!” as you blush, and Taehyung just grins widely, wrapping an arm around your neck as he pulls you to him. He quiets down whatever protests you have when he loudly plants a kiss to your temple, grinning cheekily as he quips back a genuine and happy Thank you! You pull away from him every time, your cheeks pink and a scowl on your face and Tae just laughs at you, knowing that you won’t scold him, so all he does is tap your nose and wink as he pulls you away, saying, “Come then cutie, let’s go.”

        But with her? He has no idea what people think.

        What do people see when they see Taehyung with her? Do they see that he’s so madly in love with her? So in love with her to the point that he will willingly hurt his best friend just to make her smile? Do they see that he’s helpless in her hands? Do they see that all she has to do is smile at him, flutter those lashes, and he’ll come running, even if that means he’ll leave you behind?

        He doesn’t want to be this person, he swears to god that he doesn’t, but he’s never felt this way before. He knew it was love because his heart fluttered every time he thought about her, every time he saw her smile, and although that flutter has faded a bit over time, it’s still faintly there, reminding him of where his loyalty should lie.

        This is what he’s thinking when you step into the room, a bright smile on your face as you say hello to everyone. Taehyung wants to catch your eyes and apologize again, but he finds his gaze stuck on the television. His fingers play on her skin and he can feel your eyes burning into him, and so – he glances up. And sure enough your eyes are on him and he almost wants to cry because your eyes are cold and dull as you look at him, like he’s a stranger that you don’t know. And maybe he is, he thinks as his fingers play with her hair while she leans back into him. Maybe he is a stranger because the Taehyung you met would never hurt you this way.

        He starts to scoot over to try to make room for you, because although he’s a different Taehyung, he’s still your best friend and you always watch movies together so he can make commentary. Taehyung doesn’t know how to be quiet, but his girlfriend hates that he talks during movies, so he always sits next to you so he can whisper whatever thought pops into his head. His lips are always at your ear, only very rarely paying attention to the screen, and he loves that soft laugh you give when he finishes speaking. You bite your lip to keep from being loud, and then you lean up and whisper something back, causing him to laugh, and this is just something that you do.

        However, before he gets a chance to move, you crawl over the other members on the couch until you find a spot to squeeze yourself in. You shove gently at the member who’s next to you, whining for him to make space. And it’s Jin, so of course he moves, but Jin is also a giant so you still find yourself squished between Jin and Jungkook as you watch the movie.

        Taehyung tries really hard not to be bothered, but he finds that he can’t concentrate on the movie at all. And it has nothing to do with the fact that his girlfriend is pressed tightly against him, nuzzling her head into his chest. It has nothing to do with the fact that his members are being loud as they shove each other over who gets to eat the popcorn. No, it has everything to do with that fact that you’re not saying anything at all.

        It happens when you lean forward to get some popcorn. Your hair spills over your shoulder, falling in your face, and you brush it back, tucking it behind your ear and then your neck is exposed. Jimin is the one who says something. He whistles, loud and teasing, and he reaches from around Jin to press his fingers into the discolored spot on the side of your neck. His eyes are bright, teasing as he yells out. “Whoa, and what’s this little miss?!”

        Both you and Taehyung freeze, and you lock eyes. His eyes are panicked; pleading with you, saying, “Please, please don’t say anything.” You straighten up, your eyes going back to that dull state, and you tsk loudly, waving his hand away. “Yah,” you say, grabbing a handful of popcorn before leaning back, “I burned myself with the curler.”

        Jimin grins cheekily, batting his lashes as he looks at you innocently. He opens his mouth, and Tae knows that this situation is far from being over. And sure enough, it’s not. Soon enough, more of the other members are joining in the teasing. Taehyung lets himself smile a bit, enjoying how flustered you’re getting. He opens his mouth to say something, but then Jungkook leans forward, his fingers pressing tightly against your skin and you wince lightly, smacking his hand away as you whine loudly. Jungkook just laughs, pressing his fingers against your skin again, and his lips are at your ear and Taehyung doesn’t hear what he says, but it makes you blush, stuttering a bit as you grab his fingers with yours.

        “Yah! Jungkookie!” You say loudly, and Jungkook just laughs loudly.

        Taehyung is too distracted, trying to figure out what Jungkook could have told you, that he doesn’t notice that Jungkook’s hand is still in yours.

        And this is how it starts.


         He can’t help it. It’s been bothering him for some time now.

        Taehyung has not been able to stop thinking about what Jungkook could have possibly told you that he sort of ignores everyone around him. He knows that, logically, he could just ask you what he said, but you and him have not been speaking since that night. He finds it strange. Usually, after your nights together, it takes you just a few days (maximum, he remembers, about two days), and then you’re back to being the way you usually were, joking and shoving with him and there’s nothing awkward about it anymore.

        This time though, Taehyung feels a heavy cloud around you when you’re with him. Whenever you get stuck in an empty room together, Taehyung smiles brightly at you, trying to get you to speak, but all you do is look at him with bored eyes. And Taehyung feels himself visibly shrink at the look in your eyes, but he never gets a chance to actually talk to you because before he knows it, someone (usually Jungkook) is pulling you towards their room. He hates that you still smile brightly at other people, hates that you still give that soft laugh, but it’s never directed at him. It’s always directed at someone else (Jungkook).

        He realizes he needs to snap out of it when his girlfriend yells at him.

        She’s laying on his chest, her bare skin flush with his as he lays with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Their skin is sheen and slick, their bodies blushing in the aftermath of what they’ve just done, and Taehyung can hear her calling his name, but he can’t stop thinking about it. He keeps seeing your face, sees your pink cheeks, can hear your voice crystal clear saying, “Yah! Jungkookie!” and he can see the many times after that. The times where he steps out of his room late at night and both of you have taken over the couch, shoving the other and laughing as you play games on the television. Taehyung can see your wide smile, your crinkled eyes as Jungkook bumps his elbow into your side, causing you to squeal. He can hear your little shout of despair as you frantically push at buttons, but it’s no use. Jungkook lets out a triumphant shout, throwing his hands up as you hang your head. Taehyung smiles at you, and he almost speaks out when Jungkook tackles you in a hug, trapping you between the cushions and then his fingers are attacking your sides, causing you to squeal and Taehyung feels like an outsider every time he sees this scene, feels like he’s watching something that he was never supposed to know.

        There’s something sharp pressing into his arm now and he glances down quickly, meets the angry eyes of his girlfriend, and so he grins, knowing that he’ll be forgiven easily. And sure enough, she rolls her eyes, sighing as he leans down to press a kiss to her forehead, then her cheeks, then down her neck. His fingers dig into her side as he starts to nibble at her jaw, and she lets out a breathy laugh. Taehyung lets himself smile, and he’s about to say something when something loud sounds from the hallway.

        “JUNGKOOK! YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!”

        He recognizes your voice immediately, and without meaning to, he pushes his girlfriend off of him. He can barely hear her calling his name as he slips some clothes on, but then he’s stepping into the hallway, looking around. He hears grunts coming from the living room, and his footsteps are soft as he makes his way over. The sight that he’s met with would make him laugh in any other situation, but right now? He doesn’t think it’s funny at all.

        Jungkook is laying on the floor, laughing loudly. You sit on top of his chest, his wrists in your hands as you plant them on the floor. Your thighs are on either side of Jungkook, and you have a playful scowl on your face.

        But that’s not what bothers Taehyung. No, what bothers him is the fact that your hair is dripping wet, droplets of water clinging to your skin, water running down your neck, sticking to the shirt you have on. Jungkook’s shirt.

        His voice is angry, he can’t help it.

        “What’s going on?”

        Your eyes snap up and Taehyung hates the way that they get cloudy when you look at him. Jungkook just looks at Taehyung with a happy and innocent smile. You quickly stand up, pointing down at Jungkook accusingly. “He stole my clothes while I was in the shower.”

        Jungkook stands up as well, twisting his neck.  There’s a proud smile on his face that irritates Taehyung for some reason. “Pretty good prank, huh hyung?”

        “Get out.”

        Jungkook looks confused, as do you. Jungkook frowns, looks down at you, and both of you share a look, and it makes Taehyung want to scream because Jungkook purses his lips while he stares at you and then he nods, like he understands exactly what you meant. He whispers a soft sorry as he shuffles past Taehyung, and Tae knows that he will feel guilty for yelling at his little brother later on, but right now all he can focus on is you.

        When you’re finally alone, Taehyung notices that your demeanor changes. You hold yourself together, avoiding his eyes. And Taehyung hates it. He just wants to see you smile at him again.

       “Do you hate me?”

        You look at him then, eyes wide. He notices a look pass across your face, something sad and heartbreaking. You smile softly, your voice quiet as you answer. “I could never hate you.”

        Taehyung groans, running a hand through his hair. His voice sounds small, broken. “Then why don’t you talk to me?”

        You’re quiet for a minute, your heart thumping in your chest. Taehyung almost thinks he won’t get a response when you finally speak.

       “I’m sorry, I guess I’ve just been dealing with personal stuff.” Your eyes cut to his, apologetic and sad. “I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

        And Taehyung knows what’s going to happen next.

        You sigh loudly, opening your arms for him, and Taehyung shuffles forward, wrapping warm arms around you. His nose presses to the top of your head, inhaling deeply. He ignores the fact that you smell like Jungkook’s shampoo and presses a kiss to the top of your head. He especially ignores the fact that you’re wearing just a shirt, your body tight against his. It makes his heart jump for a second, and he pins it on the fact that he’d missed you so much. His arms tighten around you for a second, and he pulls your body closer to his. His voice is deep, warm and smooth and it melts over you. “I missed you.”

        You shut your eyes tightly, and Taehyung thinks that there’s more to your voice when you respond back. “I missed you too.” And he lets everything else slip from his mind.


        Taehyung is walking into the dorm, a happy and dazed smile on his face. He can still feel her kiss lingering on his lips, can feel her fingers tugging at his sweater as she had pulled him closer, whispering seductively, “Please.” And Taehyung had wanted to go back inside, but – he had just spent all afternoon with her, and frankly he missed his brothers. Sure, he can spend all day with his girlfriend if he wanted to, (he doesn’t mind sneaking in kisses every now and then, but that seems to be all they do anymore), but he misses joking around with his brothers. Despite this, he still feels a bit lightheaded as she pulls him in for a kiss goodnight, her lips lingering on his for just a second longer.

        And so he walks into the dorm distracted, not noticing that every light is turned off and that it’s as quiet as can be.

        He only notices when he’s about to get to his room, and he turns his head quickly, looking in every direction. His eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to speak. “Hey –!” but then there’s a hand covering his mouth, and he’s being pulled into the small closet that’s in the hallway.

        His eyes have a hard time adjusting, and he wants to scream against the palm covering his mouth, but then something soft presses against him, and he recognizes that it’s you by the smell. Your body is tight against his, and he can feel your breath blow against the collar of his shirt. His breath catches in his throat, feeling your hand land on his chest, shoving him against the wall. Your voice is low, soft when you say, “Be quiet.”

        Taehyung feels like he wouldn’t be able to talk anyway.

        Your hand drops down from his mouth, resting right on his collarbone and he glances down at it quickly before looking back up at you. Your eyes are shining as you stare at the door, your lips pursed in concentration. He’s about to ask what’s happening when you speak. “We’re playing hide-in-seek,” you whisper. “It’s Jungkook’s turn now, and the boys have a bet that Jimin will be next.”

        The closet is so small that you have to be pressed against Taehyung to fit inside, and despite the fact that you wish it didn’t, your heart still feels like it’s going to jump from your chest. Taehyung hesitates for a second, but he thinks, hey we’re okay now, so he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest. Your body is tense at first, but soon you relax, sighing as you rest your head on his chest. Your arms wrap around his waist, and you think that it would be perfect if you could stay like this forever.

        But of course life doesn’t work out that way.

        His phone chimes in his pocket, and he removes one arm from around you, reaching behind him to fiddle with it. The light is bright, causing you both to squint, and you can tell by the look in his eyes who it is. His brows are furrowed at first, but his eyes scan the screen before a slight smile starts to take over his face. It makes you uncomfortable, and you’re about to retract your arms when he whispers, “Jungkook is asking me where I am.”

        “That’s cheating,” you whisper.

        And Taehyung’s eyes cut to yours, surprisingly serious. “That’s not the worst thing that could happen.”

        And Taehyung hates that he wants to do this but – goddamit, he wants to kiss you. He doesn’t know why he does, but he does. There you are, with your lips slightly parted open, your body flush against his, and you’ve been in this exact position before, but this is different. He doesn’t want to kiss you because he’s so sad that he wants to forget, he wants to kiss you just because. And this terrifies him. You’re his best friend, not his girlfriend, so why does he feel like this?

        Without meaning to, his head starts to lower, reaching for yours. You whisper his name softly, but it’s almost like he’s in a daze, his lips inching closer and closer to yours until –

        The door opens, and you jump to the other wall, and Jungkook is standing there with a wide smile on his face, not suspecting a thing. And then Jungkook is wrapping warm fingers around your wrist, pulling you out and towards him. His voice is light, full of laughter as he says, “You lost.”

        And Taehyung looks at the pink in your cheeks, looks at your body that seems to naturally draw itself into Jungkook’s, and thinks that he certainly did lose.


        Your first fight happens when you’re at the store. It’s unexpected, and both of you think that it’s going to be your last.

        (You’re both wrong.)

        Taehyung is mindlessly looking through the beauty items on the counter, unsure as to what to buy for his girlfriend. She’d been dropping a lot of hints lately that Taehyung has been distant, so he felt that this was his best course of action. And of course you had been dragged along too. Taehyung knew that you couldn’t resist his pouting lips and big eyes, so that’s what he had done when he had pulled on your sleeve slightly, whining. Please come? Please? I’ll buy you anything you want!

        And so here you were, tapping away at your phone while Taehyung reads every label of every product. He frowns at a particular item, holding it out to you and asking, “Do you know what this is for?” You barely glance at it before you’re looking back at your screen, tapping a message away as you mumble what it’s for. Taehyung frowns at you, sighing in frustration. Things had not been the same since the day in the closet, and he doesn’t know why.

        “You know, you didn’t have to come.”

        You glance up from your phone. “You asked me to come.”

        His voice is quiet, and he mumbles under his breath. “Yeah, but you didn’t have to come.”

        You sigh loudly, frustrated. “You shouldn’t have invited me if you didn’t want me to come then.”

        “I didn’t say that,” he points at you, shaking his finger. “Don’t twist my words.”

        “Well then what do you want? I’m not a mind reader.”

        Your phone dings, and just as you’re about to answer it, Taehyung snatches it from your hands, growling slightly at you. His voice is hard when he snaps at you, “I want you to not be on your damn phone and pay attention to me.”

        He holds it out of arms reach, just above your head, causing you to jump up to try to reach it. “Taehyung! Give it back!” You grasp at thin air. Taehyung feels like smiling as he looks at you. Your face is flushed with anger, your brows furrowed in frustration, and a teasing remark is on the tip of his tongue, but then you say it. You say the one thing that pisses him off the most for some reason. “I was texting Jungkook!”

        A scowl forms on his lips. “So? He can wait, you’re with me right now.”

        You huff, finally stopping just to cross your arms over your chest. “I don’t tell you who you can and can’t text in my presence. You’re not being fair.”

        And this is completely unrelated, but Taehyung finds himself asking, “Is he, like, your best friend now?”

        He expects you to say no, expects you to laugh and shake your head as you respond that Taehyung is your best friend, not Jungkook. He absolutely does not expect you to look up at him, eyes and tone serious as you say, “Yes.”

        He almost drops your phone in shock.

        “What?”

        You tilt your chin up, but you can’t look him in the eye and your cheeks are pink. “Yes, Jungkook is my best friend.”

        Taehyung lets out a slow breath, feeling like there’s something tight on his chest. He has no idea what it could be, but it makes him feel like he can’t breathe. His voice is soft and quiet, a complete difference to how it was earlier. “I thought I was your best friend…”

        Your eyes cut to his, take in his slumped shoulders, and then your fingers are reaching out to grasp his forearm. You scoot closer to him, squeezing his arm slightly, and you hate that despite the fact that you did nothing wrong, you’re comforting him. But you can’t help it, hurt Taehyung is like a hurt puppy. And you could never resist him.

        “Hey,” you whisper, “you are my best friend…. But so is Jungkook. I can have more than one best friend, no?”

        And Taehyung wants to be unfair, wants to scream out No, you can’t, but then he looks at your eyes. Your eyes are warm and comforting, like home, and he would hate to see you lose that sparkle in them just because he’s being an asshole, so he just smiles at you (that square smile he knows you love), and nods his head slightly in agreement with you.

        You walk home empty handed that day, and things are tense as you say goodbye to Taehyung in front of your place. His eyes hover over you, searching for something that you didn’t know, and his eyes are glued to your face. You have no idea what he’s going to do, but then he reaches out, his hands warm on your shoulders, and pulls you to him. His head lowers to yours and your eyes flutter closed, and then there’s something soft and smooth being pressed on your cheek. You open your eyes when you see him pulling away, and there’s a slight smile on his face as his eyes scan you once again. His hand reaches up, brushing hair away from your face.

        “You looked very pretty today,” he whispers, his voice husky.

        (You wore your hair the way he liked it.)

        You can’t find it in yourself to respond, but that’s okay, you don’t have to because Taehyung is pressing another quick kiss to your forehead before he’s off, leaving you standing there with a thumping heart.

        Back at the dorm, Jungkook is sending you messages while he lounges on the couch, and Taehyung walks through the door with a slight frown on his face.

        “Hey hyung,” Jungkook glances up at Taehyung. “How’d it go today?”

        Taehyung just makes a low grumble, shuffling to his room quickly. Once inside, he slams the door shut, leaning against it as he sighs in frustration. He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes as he tries to erase the image of you standing there with your eyes closed, your lips parted in anticipation.

        He screws his eyes shut, sliding down the wall. Something deep in his gut tells him that this isn’t even close to being over.


        Taehyung tries very hard to ignore the conversation he had last night with Jungkook, but it’s very hard to do so with you sleeping right beside him.

        Taehyung and you are all right now, you’re back to joking and teasing each other like before, and he’s glad. This is what he wanted, but he can’t deny that something feels off. He knows exactly what it is, of course.

        It’s no longer just you and Taehyung.

        It’s you, Taehyung, and Jungkook.

        And for some reason, this doesn’t sit well with him. Especially not after last night.

        Taehyung remembers it clearly, remembers being woken up by an anxious and excited Jungkook in the middle of the night. He’d practically walked around the small room twenty times before Tae told him to just come out with it. Jungkook had sighed loudly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. His fingers played with the blankets, his cheeks pink as he avoided Tae’s eyes, and Taehyung was hit by how young his brother really was. He was so distracted that he almost missed what Jungkook said. Unsure, he asked him to repeat it.

        Jungkook took a deep breath, looking up at Taehyung through his lashes, and then he repeated it. “I really like her.”

        Taehyung couldn’t believe it. “Like who?”

        Jungkook chuckled nervously. “You know who.” His hand went to rub the back of his neck. “I like her so much… Do you think you could help me…?”

        And because it would seem strange if he said no, Taehyung agreed.

        Which is how he found himself where he was now.

        Jungkook has left you for the day, and he gave you a small shove as you walked into Taehyung’s room, causing you to stumble into him. Taehyung wrapped an arm around you, looking at Jungkook as the other boy gave a thumbs up before shoving the door closed. You’d rolled your eyes, chuckling at Jungkook’s behavior as you peeled your sweater off. You yawned loudly, crawling onto Taehyung’s bed. Taehyung watched you closely, watched as you looked at him with sleepy eyes. You gave a small grin as you got comfortable, patting the spot next to you. Taehyung rolled his eyes, grinning widely as he climbs in next to you. He scoots you over, adjusting himself so that you fit perfectly against him. You sigh quietly, sleepily nuzzling your head against his shoulder.

        Taehyung swears that he was going to bring it up, honestly he was, but then your body went slack against his and you started letting out these soft little noises that were so cute, he didn’t want to wake you.

        He finds himself smiling down at you, his eyes tracing the dip of your neck, the curve of your cheek, the shape of your lips… Without intending to, his fingers reach up, softly grazing the soft skin of your cheek. You sleepily let out a sigh, nuzzling into his hand and Taehyung’s smile is so wide that his eyes crinkle at the corners. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he leans down to press a kiss to your temple, letting his lips linger on your skin for a second.

        He’s thrown out of it when he hears your phone ding, and he curses, reaching for your discarded sweater. His plan was to silence your phone so you could sleep in peace, but…

        He looks at your wallpaper.

        There used to be a time when you and him were your wallpaper. It was a picture he had taken. Both of you were wearing your matching shirts, and Taehyung had pulled you to him by your neck. He was grinning widely at the camera, his smile wide and bright as his eyes crinkled with happiness. Your hands were on the arm that he had around your neck, ready to shove him off, but you looked up at him, your mouth slightly open, your eyes awestruck as you looked up at his smiling face. And of course, being Taehyung, he couldn’t stand still long enough to take the picture properly.

        Taehyung loved that blurry picture.

        (He wouldn’t admit that it was still his wallpaper. That’s why he never let his girlfriend look at his phone.)

        But now a new picture has replaced the previous one.

        You’re looking off to the side, a wide smile on your face (Taehyung can almost hear your laughter), and your eyes are twinkling happily. Jungkook has his forehead pressed to your temple, his nose barely brushing the side of your face as he smiles happily. His arm is around your shoulder, and one of your hands lays on top of his, your fingers entwined together. Both of you are grinning widely, wide bright smiles that could give the sun a run for it’s money.

        Taehyung feels like he can’t breath, and it just gets worse when he sees the new message that popped up on your screen.

        Hey princess, how are things going? Miss you jagi

        Taehyung tells himself that he’s not bothered by it, because he shouldn’t be bothered by it at all. He has a girlfriend, and now you have… Jungkook.

        He slides your phone back into your sweater, and does nothing. The next day, when Jungkook asks how things went, all Taehyung does is give a tight smile.


        He should have thought it was strange, honestly. It’d been way too long since they have fought. So he shouldn’t really be surprised when his girlfriend shoves him out of her house, yelling that they’re over. He can’t help it, old habits die hard, so he hangs around her house for a few hours, trying to get her to open the door as he apologizes. She doesn’t open it, and he knows that she will call when she is ready. He frowns a little at that. Does she really expect him to come running back? He sighs as he starts to walk away in the empty night because he knows deep down that he will.

        He finds himself at your door, and the scene is so familiar to one from earlier, that he gets a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

        You open the door, rubbing sleep from your eyes. Taehyung says nothing, just lets his eyes travel over you. Your hair is mussed, your face flush. A shirt with the words BTS written on the front covers your torso, a pair of pajama shorts peeking through the long shirt. You yawn lightly, your mouth pouting as you say softly, “Taehyung?”

        And then the worst thing that could have ever happened to Taehyung occurs.

        His heart flutters.

        Time stops for Taehyung and he wants to reach out, wants to pull you to him and hold you to his chest, and it shouldn’t feel strange that he does. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you to him as your head presses against his chest, his head resting on the top of yours. He sighs softly, nuzzling deeper into you, his heart doing that damn fluttering, but he tells himself that he’ll deal with it later. Right now he just wants to hold you.

        Your voice is confused, still sleepy as you whisper, "What’s wrong?”

        And he wants to say, Can’t I just hug my best friend? but you don’t feel like just his best friend anymore. The way he’s holding you to him, pressing every inch of your skin against his almost as if he wants to blend you two together, is not the way best friends hug. He finds that he can’t speak anyway, his voice is stuck in his throat as he recalls the last time he was here. He had came with a broken heart and had quickly jumped into your sheets, just to leave you in the end like he always did. His heart gives a painful lurch, how could he have been so cruel? How could he have been to cruel to you? You, who were as sweet as can be, who always did what was best for him, with a smile as bright as the sun itself? How could he have been so blind

        So instead all he says is a trembling and sad I’m sorry, but you think he’s apologizing for something else, and you recognize that tone, so your hands come up to brush the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his hair. You sigh against him, pulling back to look at his wet eyes, and you whisper. “She broke up with you?”

        It’s not necessarily untrue, (she did break up with him), but that’s not why he’s crying. No, he’s crying because he’s just now realized how much you mean to him, and he has used and discarded you so many times and it hurts. It hurts so bad because he knows that it killed you inside. He knows that those cloudy eyes of yours that you always had was your way of building walls up, trying to keep him out, but he always selfishly knocked them down for his own enjoyment. 

        He says nothing, and – he blames what he does next on his uncontrollable heart – leans his head down, resting his forehead against yours. Your breath mingles with his, your hands tightening in his hair, and your voice is soft as you warningly whisper out Taehyung, but that doesn’t stop him from reaching out to touch his lips with yours softly. 

        Your body is frozen against his, but then you let out a soft sigh, melting against him. Taehyung feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest as he presses deeper against you, his lips molding with yours. He feels like he can’t breathe, groans out as you make a soft noise in the back of your throat and then –

        You rip yourself away, breathing harshly, your chest heaving against him, and your eyes start to get cloudy. Your voice is sad, seeping with disappointment as you brokenly force out, “You smell like her.”

        Taehyung is confused at first, but then it dawns on him. Of course you would think this is just like every other time. He wants to scream out, hold you to him and say that this is different than last time. He’s kissing you because he wants to, he wants to kiss you forever, not because of some girl who’s the last thing on his mind right now. But for some reason all he can say is, “This isn’t about her.”

        There are tears in your eyes as you shove him away, separating yourself from him. He feels an odd sense of coldness as he watches you step back, and it just gets stronger when you set your jaw, laughing mockingly as you say, “Isn’t everything about her?”

        He sighs out, growing frustrated with every step back that you take. “Stop it, this isn’t about her.” He takes a step forward, causing you to take a step back and he runs a hand through his hair. “Will you stop walking away from me?”

        All you can do is stare at him, tears in your eyes, and Taehyung hates that he doesn’t know what you’re thinking. You’re looking at him like you’ve never seen him before, like the person standing in front of you is someone entirely new and unknown. He reaches out for you, and you eye him warily, and then he deflates suddenly, his shoulders slumping. “Stop looking at me like that,” he mumbles, and you drop your guard, your eyes softening. “I just… I missed you. I never see you anymore.”

        Your eyes become hard again, and then you’re shoving a hand to his chest, trying to push him out the door. “Shut up!” There’s tears in your eyes, and you’re still pushing on his chest but he won’t move. He traps your hands on his chest, looking down at you with a worried expression. He doesn’t want to say it, but he thinks you look beautiful right now. Your body goes slack against his, and then you’re resting your forehead on his chest, the warmth of his skin burning you even through his clothes. Your fingers curl around the material of his clothing, and then you’re whispering. “Shut up, you only miss me when you’re not with her." 

        Taehyung’s heart stops in his chest, frozen in spot but then his fingers are reaching up, brushing away the stray tears on your cheek. His voice is full of pain, low and soft, as he says, "I’m so sorry.”

        And you look up at his eyes, your lips parted open, and you know that he’s apologizing for everything. So you take a deep breath, stepping back, your palms warm on his chest, and you simply answer back, “I forgive you.”

        And Taehyung wants to reach out and kiss you again, but you’re still pushing him away and now you’re shaking your head, avoiding his eyes. “It’s okay,” you say, and then your eyes snap up to his, wet and sad. “It’s okay, but I can’t do this anymore Taehyung. I can’t just be the thing that keeps your bed warm while you wait for her to come back.”

        “You’re not –”

        But you’re shaking your head, smiling sadly. “Please leave before you wake Jungkook up.”

        And Taehyung swears that time stops. 

        He clenches his jaw, irritated beyond belief. “He’s here?” And that’s when he glances around and sees the traces of Jungkook in your place. There’s a pair of shoes discarded next to yours, a sweater thrown over the couch, a beanie thrown on your coffee table, and empty food boxes on the table. His eyes cut to your shut bedroom door, and now that he knows, he can hear the slight noises coming from inside the room. His eyes are hard, but there’s still a mixture of sadness underneath. “So this is it? I lost you?”

        And you smile sadly, finally admitting the truth. “We were never each other’s to lose.”


        Taehyung is sitting at the table back at his dorm, his eyes directed at the wall, not really seeing anything. His eyes are bloodshot and broken, and he clutches a still full glass of water in his hands. He’s been sitting like this for hours, ever since he dragged himself home from your place.

        The first one up is Jin, and to say he’s surprised is an understatement. Taehyung is never up this early, not unless he pulled an all-nighter. So Jin tries to catch his attention, tries to offer him some food, but all Taehyung does is stare, his fingers clasped around that damn cup.

        The routine is the same, the other members trying to get him to snap out of it but all he does is just… sit.

        There’s a door slamming, followed by the sound of feet shuffling, and Taehyung’s eyes snap up to the sound. His fingers tighten on the glass as Jungkook steps into the kitchen, his eyes alert and on Taehyung. His eyes are hard, and there’s a slight frown on his face, disappointment clouding his features. The members look between the two, and they do not need to be told anything before they’re shuffling out, food stuffed in their mouths as they whisper amongst themselves, “What’s going on with them?”

        Jungkook and Taehyung stare at one another, eyes and jaws hard and set, and Taehyung thinks back to the days when this was his best friend. He can remember wrapping his arm around the neck of the maknae, ruffling his hair as he teases out, “Jungkookie!” He wonders where those days have gone but then – he takes a deep breath of air, and he’s hit by the scent that’s so uniquely you, and it’s coming from Jungkook.

        “I heard you.” Jungkook speaks first. “Last night.”

        Taehyung takes a sip from the water, forces it down his throat. “Did she tell you?”

        Jungkook sighs, pulling a chair out and sitting down. He takes his beanie off his head, ruffling his hair. His eyes cut to Taehyung, taking in his disheveled appearance. “Yes.”

        Taehyung laughs bitterly, tears in his eyes again. He blinks them back, because he does not want his little brother to see him cry. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”

        “Yeah,” Jungkook sighs softly, “I think you did.”

        Things are quiet, Taehyung coming to terms with the fact that he lost you the day after he left you alone, the day where Jungkook touched the hickey that Taehyung had left on your skin, the day where Jungkook whispered something in your ear, making you blush. He never did know what Jungkook told you that day. He supposes that it doesn’t matter anymore.

        “Hyung?”

        He looks up at Jungkook, who’s fidgeting in his seat.

        “I’m going to tell you this right now, because you’re my best friend and I don’t want to hurt you but… I asked her out.”

        Taehyung can feel the last pieces of his heart break.

        “And she said yes.”

        And this is how it ends.

a tremolo in my chest: a shuuneki / tsukikane fanmix  {listen} {art credit}

i. toxic; yael naim // ii. 10 million dollar man; exitthefall // iii. siamese cites;  metric // iv. big spender; shirley bassey // v. psychosis; amanda jayne // vi. bad romance; 30 seconds to mars // vii. change; deftones // viii. eat you up; boa // ix. hatefuck; the bravery // x. closer; nine inch nails // xi. flesh; simon curtis // xii. undisclosed desires; muse // xiii.  blood of the rose; the dear hunter // xiv. the horror of our love; ludo // xv. la petite mort; coeur de pirate

oh, love me dead – a tony/loki fanmix

i. toxic - melanie martinex || ii. i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys || iii. love me dead - ludo || iv. once upon a dream - lana del rey || v. haunt - bastille || vi. swoon - beach weather || vii. vegas lights - panic! at the disco || viii. serial killer - lana del rey || ix. nicotine - panic! at the disco || x. i walk the line - halsey || xi. addicted to love - florence + the machine || xii. time is running out - muse || xiii. lurk - the neighbourhood || xiv. one more night - maroon 5

listen here

do not pass goa not-so-happy togiri fanmix.

i. killer queen (vocals only ) - freddy mercury
she’s a killer queen / gunpowder, gelatine / dynamite with a laser beam / guaranteed to blow your mind / anytime

ii. toxic - melanie martinez
now baby can’t you see / i’m calling / a guy like you / should wear a warning / it’s dangerous / i’m falling

iii. final warning - skylar grey
someone’s gonna get hurt / and it’s not gonna be me

iv. thnks fr th mmrs - stephanie hayward
one night and one more time / thanks for the memories / even though they weren’t so great / he tastes you only sweeter

v. honestly - fernando sancho
how do you feel about being honest with yourself?

vi. white horse - judith inmida
i’ve been waiting for you and your white horse / to come around

vii. crushcrushcrush (vocals only) - paramore
they taped over your mouth / scribbled out the truth with their lies / your little spies

viii. i’m just your problem - miku-tan
is it because i don’t treat you like a god / is that what you want me to do / sorry i dont treat you like you’re perfect / like all your little subjects do

2

your ex-lovers are dead

// An Inquisitor/Maketh Tua/Agent Kallus fanmix

‘and everything you love will burn up in the light‘

i. toxic // melanie martinez | ii. tessellate // alt-j | iii. closer // the tiny | iv. sacrilege // yeah yeah yeahs | v. two’s a party // hania zdunek | vi. black milk // massive attack | vii. said the spider to the fly // the paper chase | viii. a love suicide // yutaka minobe | ix. between two points ft. swan // the glitch mob | x. until we bleed // andreas kleerup | xi. wicked games // coeur de pirate | xii. landfill // daughter | xiii. dark in my imagination // of verona | xiv. i love you // woodkid | xv. her, you and i // the changes | xvi. you’re not here // konami kukeiha club | xvii. dead to me // melanie martinez | xviii. the noises she makes in their bed // warmer | xix. sure as hell // this providence

[listen]

RIVER DAUGHTERS

↳ a playlist for mermaids. part 2/4 of the godly creatures mix series.

i. nostalgie - benoit jutras  ii. toxic - yael naim  iii. come away to the water - dasha & nicole  iv. what the water gave me - florence + the machine  v. down by the water - signe tollefsen  vi. harmless monster - cocorosie  vii. heart of stone - iko  viii. mermaid- okkervil river  ix. becomes the color - emily wills  x. killing moon - nouvelle vague 

(LISTEN)