CALM DOWN AND WORK- for those who prefer chill music while they’re studying or a special playlist for those studying for finals and are over-stressing
i. work song - hozier // ii. toxic (cover) - melanie martinez // iii. make it rain - ed sheeran // iiii. cherry wine - hozier // v. 1957 - milo greene // vi. cold coffee - ed sheeran // vii. i miss you - blink-182 // viii. we’re going to be friends (cover) - caroline pennell // ix. the moon song - karen o & ezra koenig // x. flower - cody simpson // xi. upside down - jack johnson // xii. sun shy - dresses // xiii. the camel song - clara c // xiv. the sunshine of your youth - cheerleader // xv. geronimo - sheppard // xvi. bombom (ft. the teaching) - macklemore & ryan lewis // xvii. stockholm syndrome - one direction // xviii. fantasy alina baraz & galimatias // xix. pass the vibes - donnie trumpet & the social experiment // xx. strawberry bubblegum - justin timberlake // xxi. rocket - tori kelly // xxii. lay me down - sam smith // xxiii. ordinary people - john legend // xxiv. aquaman - walk the moon // xxv. she was mine (ft. aj rafael) - jesse barrera // xxvi. unbreakable smile - tori kelly // xxvii. norwegian wood (this bird has flown) - the beatles // xxviii. goodbye (chatham square) - aj rafael
The only thing worse than Soulsborne Bosses…are Soulsborne enemies. The gauntlets that From Software puts everyone through are more often then not harder than the area boss. These enemies stand out as the worst of the worst.
Hello guys! So, a lot of people have been messaging me that I should write a part two of my V Drabble, one with a happy ending. So that’s what I did. I wrote a happy ending for you, but just as a heads up… I suck at happy endings. Hope you enjoy! ^^
“Don’t you ever say you miss me with her spit still on your tongue.“
It starts off so slowly that Taehyung doesn’t even know
that it’s happening.
It starts the day after he left you alone in your
bedroom, the day he left you cold and broken just so he could go back to her.
They’ve made up, got back together for the umpteenth time. And she had pulled
on his sleeve that night, her lips pouty and eyes suggestive as she gestured
towards her bedroom, soft whining noises escaping from the back of her throat.
Tae feels something tighten in his lower abdomen and he wants to go, wants to
follow her into her bedroom so bad and do what comes natural to him, and he
could go – he should go (this is his
girlfriend, after all). But every time he closes his eyes, he sees you, your
gaze burning and lips moist and your eyes are soft, full of love and worry as
you ask him, “Are you sure?”
And Taehyung can’t find it in himself to go with her,
not when he was with you just a few hours before, so all he does is hug her to
his chest, placing a soft kiss to the top of her head as he mentally apologizes
to both of the girls he loves for causing so much trouble.
So the next day, when Tae is sitting
with her in between his legs, leaning back against the cushions as the members
watch a movie, he knows no one is surprised by the fact that they’re back together.
This is them; they fight and break up and make up and then things are good.
course no one knows what Taehyung does when they’re in the breakup stage, no
one knows that he seeks comfort in between your bed sheets. And if it’s up to
him, no one ever will.)
He wonders what people think about him,
what do they think when they see him with her? He knows what they think when
they see you two, he’s heard it often enough. Years of having people coo on the
streets “Ooh, you two are just the cutest!”
as you blush, and Taehyung just grins widely, wrapping an arm around your neck
as he pulls you to him. He quiets down whatever protests you have when he
loudly plants a kiss to your temple, grinning cheekily as he quips back a
genuine and happy Thank you! You pull
away from him every time, your cheeks pink and a scowl on your face and Tae
just laughs at you, knowing that you won’t scold him, so all he does is tap
your nose and wink as he pulls you away, saying, “Come then cutie, let’s go.”
But with her? He has no idea what
What do people see when they see
Taehyung with her? Do they see that he’s so madly in love with her? So in love
with her to the point that he will willingly hurt his best friend just to make
her smile? Do they see that he’s helpless in her hands? Do they see that all
she has to do is smile at him, flutter those lashes, and he’ll come running,
even if that means he’ll leave you behind?
He doesn’t want to be this person, he
swears to god that he doesn’t, but he’s never felt this way before. He knew it
was love because his heart fluttered every time he thought about her, every
time he saw her smile, and although that flutter has faded a bit over time,
it’s still faintly there, reminding him of where his loyalty should lie.
This is what he’s thinking when you
step into the room, a bright smile on your face as you say hello to everyone.
Taehyung wants to catch your eyes and apologize again, but he finds his gaze
stuck on the television. His fingers play on her skin and he can feel your eyes
burning into him, and so – he glances up. And sure enough your eyes are on him
and he almost wants to cry because your eyes are cold and dull as you look at
him, like he’s a stranger that you don’t know. And maybe he is, he thinks as
his fingers play with her hair while she leans back into him. Maybe he is a
stranger because the Taehyung you met would never hurt you this way.
He starts to scoot over to try to make
room for you, because although he’s a different Taehyung, he’s still your best
friend and you always watch movies together so he can make commentary. Taehyung
doesn’t know how to be quiet, but his girlfriend hates that he talks during
movies, so he always sits next to you so he can whisper whatever thought pops
into his head. His lips are always at your ear, only very rarely paying
attention to the screen, and he loves that soft laugh you give when he finishes
speaking. You bite your lip to keep from being loud, and then you lean up and
whisper something back, causing him to laugh, and this is just something that
However, before he gets a chance to
move, you crawl over the other members on the couch until you find a spot to
squeeze yourself in. You shove gently at the member who’s next to you, whining
for him to make space. And it’s Jin, so of course he moves, but Jin is also a
giant so you still find yourself squished between Jin and Jungkook as you watch
Taehyung tries really hard not to be
bothered, but he finds that he can’t concentrate on the movie at all. And it
has nothing to do with the fact that his girlfriend is pressed tightly against
him, nuzzling her head into his chest. It has nothing to do with the fact that
his members are being loud as they shove each other over who gets to eat the
popcorn. No, it has everything to do with that fact that you’re not saying
anything at all.
It happens when you lean forward to get
some popcorn. Your hair spills over your shoulder, falling in your face, and
you brush it back, tucking it behind your ear and then your neck is exposed.
Jimin is the one who says something. He whistles, loud and teasing, and he
reaches from around Jin to press his fingers into the discolored spot on the
side of your neck. His eyes are bright, teasing as he yells out. “Whoa, and
what’s this little miss?!”
Both you and Taehyung freeze, and you
lock eyes. His eyes are panicked; pleading with you, saying, “Please, please don’t say anything.” You
straighten up, your eyes going back to that dull state, and you tsk loudly,
waving his hand away. “Yah,” you say, grabbing a handful of popcorn before
leaning back, “I burned myself with the curler.”
Jimin grins cheekily, batting his
lashes as he looks at you innocently. He opens his mouth, and Tae knows that
this situation is far from being over. And sure enough, it’s not. Soon enough,
more of the other members are joining in the teasing. Taehyung lets himself
smile a bit, enjoying how flustered you’re getting. He opens his mouth to say
something, but then Jungkook leans forward, his fingers pressing tightly
against your skin and you wince lightly, smacking his hand away as you whine
loudly. Jungkook just laughs, pressing his fingers against your skin again, and his lips are at your ear and
Taehyung doesn’t hear what he says, but it makes you blush, stuttering a bit as
you grab his fingers with yours.
“Yah! Jungkookie!” You say loudly, and
Jungkook just laughs loudly.
Taehyung is too distracted, trying to
figure out what Jungkook could have told you, that he doesn’t notice that
Jungkook’s hand is still in yours.
And this is how it starts.
He can’t help it. It’s been bothering
him for some time now.
Taehyung has not been able to stop
thinking about what Jungkook could have possibly told you that he sort of
ignores everyone around him. He knows that, logically, he could just ask you what
he said, but you and him have not been speaking since that night. He finds it
strange. Usually, after your nights together, it takes you just a few days
(maximum, he remembers, about two days), and then you’re back to being the way
you usually were, joking and shoving with him and there’s nothing awkward about
This time though, Taehyung feels a
heavy cloud around you when you’re with him. Whenever you get stuck in an empty
room together, Taehyung smiles brightly at you, trying to get you to speak, but
all you do is look at him with bored eyes. And Taehyung feels himself visibly
shrink at the look in your eyes, but he never gets a chance to actually talk to
you because before he knows it, someone (usually Jungkook) is pulling you
towards their room. He hates that you still smile brightly at other people,
hates that you still give that soft laugh, but it’s never directed at him. It’s always directed at someone
He realizes he needs to snap out of it
when his girlfriend yells at him.
She’s laying on his chest, her bare
skin flush with his as he lays with his hands behind his head, staring at the
ceiling. Their skin is sheen and slick, their bodies blushing in the aftermath
of what they’ve just done, and Taehyung can hear her calling his name, but he
can’t stop thinking about it. He keeps seeing your face, sees your pink cheeks,
can hear your voice crystal clear saying, “Yah!
Jungkookie!” and he can see the many times after that. The times where he
steps out of his room late at night and both of you have taken over the couch,
shoving the other and laughing as you play games on the television. Taehyung
can see your wide smile, your crinkled eyes as Jungkook bumps his elbow into
your side, causing you to squeal. He can hear your little shout of despair as
you frantically push at buttons, but it’s no use. Jungkook lets out a triumphant shout, throwing his hands up as you hang your head. Taehyung smiles at you, and
he almost speaks out when Jungkook tackles you in a hug, trapping you between
the cushions and then his fingers are attacking your sides, causing you to squeal
and Taehyung feels like an outsider every time he sees this scene, feels like
he’s watching something that he was never supposed to know.
There’s something sharp pressing into
his arm now and he glances down quickly, meets the angry eyes of his girlfriend,
and so he grins, knowing that he’ll be forgiven easily. And sure enough, she
rolls her eyes, sighing as he leans down to press a kiss to her forehead, then
her cheeks, then down her neck. His fingers dig into her side as he starts to
nibble at her jaw, and she lets out a breathy laugh. Taehyung lets himself
smile, and he’s about to say something when something loud sounds from the
“JUNGKOOK! YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT
He recognizes your voice immediately,
and without meaning to, he pushes his girlfriend off of him. He can barely hear
her calling his name as he slips some clothes on, but then he’s stepping into
the hallway, looking around. He hears grunts coming from the living room, and
his footsteps are soft as he makes his way over. The sight that he’s met with
would make him laugh in any other situation, but right now? He doesn’t think
it’s funny at all.
Jungkook is laying on the floor,
laughing loudly. You sit on top of his chest, his wrists in your hands as you
plant them on the floor. Your thighs are on either side of Jungkook, and you
have a playful scowl on your face.
But that’s not what bothers Taehyung.
No, what bothers him is the fact that your hair is dripping wet, droplets of
water clinging to your skin, water running down your neck, sticking to the
shirt you have on. Jungkook’s shirt.
His voice is angry, he can’t help it.
Your eyes snap up and Taehyung hates
the way that they get cloudy when you look at him. Jungkook just looks at
Taehyung with a happy and innocent smile. You quickly stand up, pointing down
at Jungkook accusingly. “He stole my clothes while I was in the shower.”
Jungkook stands up as well, twisting
his neck. There’s a proud smile on his
face that irritates Taehyung for some reason. “Pretty good prank, huh hyung?”
Jungkook looks confused, as do you. Jungkook frowns,
looks down at you, and both of you share a look, and it makes Taehyung want to
scream because Jungkook purses his lips while he stares at you and then he
nods, like he understands exactly what you meant. He whispers a soft sorry as
he shuffles past Taehyung, and Tae knows that he will feel guilty for yelling
at his little brother later on, but right now all he can focus on is you.
When you’re finally alone, Taehyung notices that your
demeanor changes. You hold yourself together, avoiding his eyes. And Taehyung hates it. He just wants to see you smile
at him again.
“Do you hate me?”
You look at him then, eyes wide. He notices a look pass
across your face, something sad and heartbreaking. You smile softly, your voice
quiet as you answer. “I could never hate you.”
Taehyung groans, running a hand through his hair. His
voice sounds small, broken. “Then why don’t you talk to me?”
You’re quiet for a minute, your heart thumping in your
chest. Taehyung almost thinks he won’t get a response when you finally speak.
“I’m sorry, I guess I’ve just been dealing with personal
stuff.” Your eyes cut to his, apologetic and sad. “I shouldn’t take it out on
And Taehyung knows what’s going to happen next.
You sigh loudly, opening your arms for him, and Taehyung
shuffles forward, wrapping warm arms around you. His nose presses to the top of
your head, inhaling deeply. He ignores the fact that you smell like Jungkook’s
shampoo and presses a kiss to the top of your head. He especially ignores the
fact that you’re wearing just a shirt, your body tight against his. It makes
his heart jump for a second, and he pins it on the fact that he’d missed you so
much. His arms tighten around you for a second, and he pulls your body closer
to his. His voice is deep, warm and smooth and it melts over you. “I missed you.”
You shut your eyes tightly, and Taehyung thinks that there’s
more to your voice when you respond back. “I
missed you too.” And he lets everything else slip from his mind.
Taehyung is walking into the dorm, a happy and dazed
smile on his face. He can still feel her kiss lingering on his lips, can feel
her fingers tugging at his sweater as she had pulled him closer, whispering
seductively, “Please.” And Taehyung had wanted to go back inside, but – he had just spent all afternoon
with her, and frankly he missed his brothers. Sure, he can spend all day with
his girlfriend if he wanted to, (he doesn’t mind sneaking in kisses every now
and then, but that seems to be all they do anymore), but he misses joking
around with his brothers. Despite this, he still feels a bit lightheaded as she
pulls him in for a kiss goodnight, her lips lingering on his for just a second
And so he walks into the dorm distracted, not noticing
that every light is turned off and that it’s as quiet as can be.
He only notices when he’s about to get to his room, and
he turns his head quickly, looking in every direction. His eyes widen, and he
opens his mouth to speak. “Hey –!” but then there’s a hand covering his mouth,
and he’s being pulled into the small closet that’s in the hallway.
His eyes have a hard time adjusting, and he wants to scream
against the palm covering his mouth, but then something soft presses against
him, and he recognizes that it’s you by the smell. Your body is tight against
his, and he can feel your breath blow against the collar of his shirt. His
breath catches in his throat, feeling your hand land on his chest, shoving him
against the wall. Your voice is low, soft when you say, “Be quiet.”
Taehyung feels like he wouldn’t be able to talk anyway.
Your hand drops down from his mouth, resting right on
his collarbone and he glances down at it quickly before looking back up at you.
Your eyes are shining as you stare at the door, your lips pursed in
concentration. He’s about to ask what’s happening when you speak. “We’re
playing hide-in-seek,” you whisper. “It’s Jungkook’s turn now, and the boys
have a bet that Jimin will be next.”
The closet is so small that you have to be pressed
against Taehyung to fit inside, and despite the fact that you wish it didn’t,
your heart still feels like it’s going to jump from your chest. Taehyung
hesitates for a second, but he thinks, hey
we’re okay now, so he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his
chest. Your body is tense at first, but soon you relax, sighing as you rest
your head on his chest. Your arms wrap around his waist, and you think that it
would be perfect if you could stay like this forever.
But of course life doesn’t work out that way.
chimes in his pocket, and he removes one arm from around you, reaching behind
him to fiddle with it. The light is bright, causing you both to squint, and you
can tell by the look in his eyes who it is. His brows are furrowed at first,
but his eyes scan the screen before a slight smile starts to take over his
face. It makes you uncomfortable, and you’re about to retract your arms when he
whispers, “Jungkook is asking me where I am.”
“That’s cheating,” you whisper.
And Taehyung’s eyes cut to yours, surprisingly serious.
“That’s not the worst thing that could happen.”
And Taehyung hates that he wants to do this but – goddamit, he wants to kiss you. He
doesn’t know why he does, but he does. There you are, with your lips slightly
parted open, your body flush against his, and you’ve been in this exact
position before, but this is different. He doesn’t want to kiss you because
he’s so sad that he wants to forget, he wants to kiss you just because. And
this terrifies him. You’re his best friend, not his girlfriend, so why does he
feel like this?
Without meaning to, his head starts to lower, reaching
for yours. You whisper his name softly, but it’s almost like he’s in a daze,
his lips inching closer and closer to yours until –
The door opens, and you jump to the other wall, and
Jungkook is standing there with a wide smile on his face, not suspecting a
thing. And then Jungkook is wrapping warm fingers around your wrist, pulling
you out and towards him. His voice is light, full of laughter as he says, “You
And Taehyung looks at the pink in your cheeks, looks at
your body that seems to naturally draw itself into Jungkook’s, and thinks that
he certainly did lose.
Your first fight happens when you’re at the store. It’s
unexpected, and both of you think that it’s going to be your last.
(You’re both wrong.)
Taehyung is mindlessly looking through the beauty items
on the counter, unsure as to what to buy for his girlfriend. She’d been
dropping a lot of hints lately that Taehyung has been distant, so he felt that
this was his best course of action. And of course you had been dragged along
too. Taehyung knew that you couldn’t resist his pouting lips and big eyes, so
that’s what he had done when he had pulled on your sleeve slightly, whining. Please come? Please? I’ll buy you anything
And so here you were, tapping away at your phone while Taehyung
reads every label of every product. He frowns at a particular item, holding it
out to you and asking, “Do you know what this is for?” You barely glance at it
before you’re looking back at your screen, tapping a message away as you mumble
what it’s for. Taehyung frowns at you, sighing in frustration. Things had not
been the same since the day in the closet, and he doesn’t know why.
“You know, you didn’t have to come.”
You glance up from your phone. “You asked me to come.”
His voice is quiet, and he mumbles under his breath.
“Yeah, but you didn’t have to come.”
You sigh loudly, frustrated. “You shouldn’t have invited
me if you didn’t want me to come then.”
“I didn’t say that,” he points at you, shaking his
finger. “Don’t twist my words.”
“Well then what do you want? I’m not a mind reader.”
Your phone dings, and just as you’re about to answer it,
Taehyung snatches it from your hands, growling slightly at you. His voice is
hard when he snaps at you, “I want you to not be on your damn phone and pay
attention to me.”
He holds it out of arms reach, just above your head,
causing you to jump up to try to reach it. “Taehyung! Give it back!” You grasp
at thin air. Taehyung feels like smiling as he looks at you. Your face is
flushed with anger, your brows furrowed in frustration, and a teasing remark is
on the tip of his tongue, but then you say it. You say the one thing that
pisses him off the most for some reason. “I was texting Jungkook!”
A scowl forms on his lips. “So? He can wait, you’re with
me right now.”
You huff, finally stopping just to cross your arms over
your chest. “I don’t tell you who you can and can’t text in my presence. You’re
not being fair.”
And this is completely unrelated, but Taehyung finds
himself asking, “Is he, like, your best friend now?”
He expects you to say no, expects you to laugh and shake
your head as you respond that Taehyung is your best friend, not Jungkook. He
absolutely does not expect you to look up at him, eyes and tone serious as you
He almost drops
your phone in shock.
You tilt your chin up, but you can’t look him in the eye
and your cheeks are pink. “Yes, Jungkook is my best friend.”
Taehyung lets out a slow breath, feeling like there’s
something tight on his chest. He has no idea what it could be, but it makes him
feel like he can’t breathe. His voice is soft and quiet, a complete difference
to how it was earlier. “I thought I was your best friend…”
Your eyes cut to his, take in his slumped shoulders, and
then your fingers are reaching out to grasp his forearm. You scoot closer to
him, squeezing his arm slightly, and you hate that despite the fact that you
did nothing wrong, you’re comforting him. But you can’t help it, hurt Taehyung
is like a hurt puppy. And you could never resist him.
“Hey,” you whisper, “you are my best friend…. But so is
Jungkook. I can have more than one best friend, no?”
And Taehyung wants to be unfair, wants to scream out No, you can’t, but then he looks at your
eyes. Your eyes are warm and comforting, like home, and he would hate to see
you lose that sparkle in them just because he’s being an asshole, so he just
smiles at you (that square smile he knows you love), and nods his head slightly
in agreement with you.
You walk home empty handed that day, and things are
tense as you say goodbye to Taehyung in front of your place. His eyes hover over you, searching for something that you didn’t know, and his eyes are glued to your face. You have no idea what he’s going to do, but then he reaches out,
his hands warm on your shoulders, and pulls you to him. His head lowers to yours
and your eyes flutter closed, and then there’s something soft and smooth being
pressed on your cheek. You open your eyes when you see him pulling away, and
there’s a slight smile on his face as his eyes scan you once again. His hand
reaches up, brushing hair away from your face.
“You looked very pretty today,” he whispers, his voice
(You wore your hair the way he
You can’t find it in yourself to respond, but that’s
okay, you don’t have to because Taehyung is pressing another quick kiss to your
forehead before he’s off, leaving you standing there with a thumping heart.
Back at the dorm, Jungkook is sending you messages while
he lounges on the couch, and Taehyung walks through the door with a slight
frown on his face.
“Hey hyung,” Jungkook glances up at Taehyung. “How’d it
Taehyung just makes a low grumble, shuffling to his room
quickly. Once inside, he slams the door shut, leaning against it as he sighs in
frustration. He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes as he tries to
erase the image of you standing there with your eyes closed, your lips parted
He screws his eyes shut, sliding down the wall.
Something deep in his gut tells him that this isn’t even close to being over.
Taehyung tries very hard to ignore the conversation he
had last night with Jungkook, but it’s very hard to do so with you sleeping
right beside him.
Taehyung and you are all right now, you’re back to
joking and teasing each other like before, and he’s glad. This is what he
wanted, but he can’t deny that something feels off. He knows exactly what it
is, of course.
It’s no longer just you and Taehyung.
It’s you, Taehyung, and
And for some reason, this doesn’t sit well with him.
Especially not after last night.
Taehyung remembers it clearly, remembers being woken up by
an anxious and excited Jungkook in the middle of the night. He’d practically
walked around the small room twenty times before Tae told him to just come out
with it. Jungkook had sighed loudly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. His
fingers played with the blankets, his cheeks pink as he avoided Tae’s eyes, and
Taehyung was hit by how young his brother really was. He was so distracted that
he almost missed what Jungkook said. Unsure, he asked him to repeat it.
Jungkook took a deep breath, looking up at Taehyung
through his lashes, and then he repeated it. “I really like her.”
Taehyung couldn’t believe it. “Like who?”
Jungkook chuckled nervously. “You know who.” His hand
went to rub the back of his neck. “I like her so much… Do you think you could
And because it would seem strange if he said no,
Which is how he found himself where he was now.
Jungkook has left you for the day, and he gave you a
small shove as you walked into Taehyung’s room, causing you to stumble into
him. Taehyung wrapped an arm around you, looking at Jungkook as the other boy
gave a thumbs up before shoving the door closed. You’d rolled your eyes,
chuckling at Jungkook’s behavior as you peeled your sweater off. You yawned loudly,
crawling onto Taehyung’s bed. Taehyung watched you closely, watched as you
looked at him with sleepy eyes. You gave a small grin as you got comfortable,
patting the spot next to you. Taehyung rolled his eyes, grinning widely as he
climbs in next to you. He scoots you over, adjusting himself so that you fit
perfectly against him. You sigh quietly, sleepily nuzzling your head against
Taehyung swears that he was going to bring it up,
honestly he was, but then your body went slack against his and you started
letting out these soft little noises that were so cute, he didn’t want to wake
He finds himself smiling down at you, his eyes tracing
the dip of your neck, the curve of your cheek, the shape of your lips… Without
intending to, his fingers reach up, softly grazing the soft skin of your cheek.
You sleepily let out a sigh, nuzzling into his hand and Taehyung’s smile is so
wide that his eyes crinkle at the corners. He doesn’t know why he does it, but
he leans down to press a kiss to your temple, letting his lips linger on your
skin for a second.
He’s thrown out of it when he hears your phone ding, and
he curses, reaching for your discarded sweater. His plan was to silence your
phone so you could sleep in peace, but…
He looks at your wallpaper.
There used to be a time when you and him were your
wallpaper. It was a picture he had taken. Both of you were wearing your
matching shirts, and Taehyung had pulled you to him by your neck. He was
grinning widely at the camera, his smile wide and bright as his eyes crinkled
with happiness. Your hands were on the arm that he had around your neck, ready
to shove him off, but you looked up at him, your mouth slightly open, your eyes
awestruck as you looked up at his smiling face. And of course, being Taehyung,
he couldn’t stand still long enough to take the picture properly.
Taehyung loved that blurry picture.
(He wouldn’t admit that it was
still his wallpaper. That’s why he never let his girlfriend look at his phone.)
But now a new picture has replaced the previous one.
You’re looking off to the side, a wide smile on your
face (Taehyung can almost hear your laughter), and your eyes are twinkling
happily. Jungkook has his forehead pressed to your temple, his nose barely
brushing the side of your face as he smiles happily. His arm is around your
shoulder, and one of your hands lays on top of his, your fingers entwined
together. Both of you are grinning widely, wide bright smiles that could give
the sun a run for it’s money.
Taehyung feels like he can’t breath, and it just gets
worse when he sees the new message that popped up on your screen.
Hey princess, how are things going? Miss you jagi ♡
Taehyung tells himself that he’s not bothered by it,
because he shouldn’t be bothered by it at all. He has a girlfriend, and now you
He slides your phone back into your sweater, and does
nothing. The next day, when Jungkook asks how things went, all Taehyung does is
give a tight smile.
He should have thought it was strange, honestly. It’d
been way too long since they have fought. So he shouldn’t really be surprised
when his girlfriend shoves him out of her house, yelling that they’re over. He
can’t help it, old habits die hard, so he hangs around her house for a few
hours, trying to get her to open the door as he apologizes. She doesn’t open
it, and he knows that she will call when she is ready. He frowns a little at
that. Does she really expect him to come running back? He sighs as he starts to
walk away in the empty night because he knows deep down that he will.
He finds himself at your door, and the scene is so
familiar to one from earlier, that he gets a sick feeling in the pit of his
You open the door, rubbing sleep from your eyes.
Taehyung says nothing, just lets his eyes travel over you. Your hair is mussed,
your face flush. A shirt with the words BTS
written on the front covers your torso, a pair of pajama shorts peeking through
the long shirt. You yawn lightly, your mouth pouting as you say softly,
And then the worst thing that could have ever happened
to Taehyung occurs.
His heart flutters.
Time stops for Taehyung and he wants to reach
out, wants to pull you to him and hold you to his chest, and it shouldn’t feel
strange that he does. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you to him as
your head presses against his chest, his head resting on the top of yours. He
sighs softly, nuzzling deeper into you, his heart doing that damn fluttering,
but he tells himself that he’ll deal with it later. Right now he just wants to
Your voice is
confused, still sleepy as you whisper, "What’s wrong?”
And he wants to
say, Can’t I just hug my best friend? but you don’t feel like
just his best friend anymore. The way he’s holding you to him, pressing every
inch of your skin against his almost as if he wants to blend you two together,
is not the way best friends hug. He finds that he can’t speak anyway, his voice
is stuck in his throat as he recalls the last time he was here. He had came
with a broken heart and had quickly jumped into your sheets, just to leave you
in the end like he always did. His heart gives a painful lurch, how could he
have been so cruel? How could he have been to cruel to you? You, who were as
sweet as can be, who always did what was best for him, with a smile as bright
as the sun itself? How could he have been so blind?
instead all he says is a trembling and sad I’m sorry, but you think he’s
apologizing for something else, and you recognize that tone, so your hands come
up to brush the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his hair. You sigh
against him, pulling back to look at his wet eyes, and you whisper. “She
broke up with you?”
necessarily untrue, (she did break up with him), but that’s not why he’s
crying. No, he’s crying because he’s just now realized how much you mean to
him, and he has used and discarded you so many times and it hurts. It
hurts so bad because he knows that it killed you inside. He knows that those
cloudy eyes of yours that you always had was your way of building walls up,
trying to keep him out, but he always selfishly knocked them down for his own
He says nothing,
he blames what he does next on his uncontrollable heart
leans his head
down, resting his forehead against yours. Your breath mingles with his, your
hands tightening in his hair, and your voice is soft as you warningly whisper
out Taehyung, but that doesn’t stop him from reaching out to touch his
lips with yours softly.
Your body is
frozen against his, but then you let out a soft sigh, melting against him.
Taehyung feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest as he presses
deeper against you, his lips molding with yours. He feels like he can’t
breathe, groans out as you make a soft noise in the back of your throat and
You rip yourself
away, breathing harshly, your chest heaving against him, and your eyes start to
get cloudy. Your voice is sad, seeping with disappointment as you brokenly
force out, “You smell like her.”
confused at first, but then it dawns on him. Of course you would think this is
just like every other time. He wants to scream out, hold you to him and say
that this is different than last time. He’s kissing you because he wants to, he
wants to kiss you forever, not because of some girl who’s the last thing on his
mind right now. But for some reason all he can say is, “This isn’t about
There are tears in
your eyes as you shove him away, separating yourself from him. He feels an odd
sense of coldness as he watches you step back, and it just gets stronger when
you set your jaw, laughing mockingly as you say, “Isn’t everything about
He sighs out, growing frustrated with every
step back that you take. “Stop it, this isn’t about her.” He takes a
step forward, causing you to take a step back and he runs a hand through his
hair. “Will you stop walking away from me?”
All you can do is
stare at him, tears in your eyes, and Taehyung hates that he doesn’t know what
you’re thinking. You’re looking at him like you’ve never seen him before, like
the person standing in front of you is someone entirely new and unknown. He
reaches out for you, and you eye him warily, and then he deflates suddenly, his
shoulders slumping. “Stop looking at me like that,” he mumbles, and
you drop your guard, your eyes softening. “I just… I missed you. I never
see you anymore.”
eyes become hard again, and then you’re shoving a hand to his chest, trying to
push him out the door. “Shut up!” There’s tears in your eyes, and
you’re still pushing on his chest but he won’t move. He traps your hands on his
chest, looking down at you with a worried expression. He doesn’t want to say
it, but he thinks you look beautiful right now. Your body goes slack against
his, and then you’re resting your forehead on his chest, the warmth of his skin
burning you even through his clothes. Your fingers curl around the material of
his clothing, and then you’re whispering. “Shut up, you only miss me when
you’re not with her."
heart stops in his chest, frozen in spot but then his fingers are reaching up,
brushing away the stray tears on your cheek. His voice is full of pain, low and
soft, as he says, "I’m so sorry.”
And you look up at his eyes, your lips parted
open, and you know that he’s apologizing for everything. So you take a deep
breath, stepping back, your palms warm on his chest, and you simply answer
back, “I forgive you.”
And Taehyung wants
to reach out and kiss you again, but you’re still pushing him away and now
you’re shaking your head, avoiding his eyes. “It’s okay,” you say,
and then your eyes snap up to his, wet and sad. “It’s okay, but I can’t do
this anymore Taehyung. I can’t just be the thing that keeps your bed warm while
you wait for her to come back.”
“You’re not –”
But you’re shaking
your head, smiling sadly. “Please leave before you wake Jungkook up.”
swears that time stops.
He clenches his
jaw, irritated beyond belief. “He’s here?” And that’s when he glances
around and sees the traces of Jungkook in your place. There’s a pair of shoes
discarded next to yours, a sweater thrown over the couch, a beanie thrown on
your coffee table, and empty food boxes on the table. His eyes cut to your shut
bedroom door, and now that he knows, he can hear the slight noises coming from
inside the room. His eyes are hard, but there’s still a mixture of sadness
underneath. “So this is it? I lost you?”
And you smile sadly, finally admitting the
truth. “We were never each other’s to lose.”
sitting at the table back at his dorm, his eyes directed at the wall, not
really seeing anything. His eyes are bloodshot and broken, and he clutches a
still full glass of water in his hands. He’s been sitting like this for hours,
ever since he dragged himself home from your place.
The first one up
is Jin, and to say he’s surprised is an understatement. Taehyung is never up
this early, not unless he pulled an all-nighter. So Jin tries to catch his
attention, tries to offer him some food, but all Taehyung does is stare, his
fingers clasped around that damn cup.
The routine is the
same, the other members trying to get him to snap out of it but all he does is
There’s a door
slamming, followed by the sound of feet shuffling, and Taehyung’s eyes snap up
to the sound. His fingers tighten on the glass as Jungkook steps into the
kitchen, his eyes alert and on Taehyung. His eyes are hard, and there’s a
slight frown on his face, disappointment clouding his features. The members
look between the two, and they do not need to be told anything before they’re
shuffling out, food stuffed in their mouths as they whisper amongst themselves,
“What’s going on with them?”
and Taehyung stare at one another, eyes and jaws hard and set, and Taehyung
thinks back to the days when this was his best friend. He can remember wrapping
his arm around the neck of the maknae, ruffling his hair as he teases out, “Jungkookie!” He wonders where those
days have gone but then – he takes a deep breath of air, and he’s hit by the
scent that’s so uniquely you, and it’s coming from Jungkook.
takes a sip from the water, forces it down his throat. “Did she tell you?”
sighs, pulling a chair out and sitting down. He takes his beanie off his head,
ruffling his hair. His eyes cut to Taehyung, taking in his disheveled
laughs bitterly, tears in his eyes again. He blinks them back, because he does
not want his little brother to see him cry. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”
Jungkook sighs softly, “I think you did.”
are quiet, Taehyung coming to terms with the fact that he lost you the day
after he left you alone, the day where Jungkook touched the hickey that
Taehyung had left on your skin, the day where Jungkook whispered something in
your ear, making you blush. He never did know what Jungkook told you that day.
He supposes that it doesn’t matter anymore.
looks up at Jungkook, who’s fidgeting in his seat.
going to tell you this right now, because you’re my best friend and I don’t
want to hurt you but… I asked her out.”
can feel the last pieces of his heart break.
i. toxic; yael naim // ii. 10 million dollar man; exitthefall // iii. siamese cites; metric // iv. big spender; shirley bassey // v. psychosis; amanda jayne // vi. bad romance; 30 seconds to mars // vii. change; deftones // viii. eat you up; boa // ix. hatefuck; the bravery // x. closer; nine inch nails // xi. flesh; simon curtis // xii. undisclosed desires; muse // xiii. blood of the rose; the dear hunter // xiv. the horror of our love; ludo // xv. la petite mort; coeur de pirate
i. toxic - melanie martinex || ii. i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys || iii. love me dead - ludo || iv. once upon a dream - lana del rey || v. haunt - bastille || vi. swoon - beach weather || vii. vegas lights - panic! at the disco || viii. serial killer - lana del rey || ix. nicotine - panic! at the disco || x. i walk the line - halsey || xi. addicted to love - florence + the machine || xii. time is running out - muse || xiii. lurk - the neighbourhood || xiv. one more night - maroon 5
i.Do I Wanna Know? - Artic Monkeys | ii.Toxic - Jayme Dee | iii.If I Didn’t Know Better - The Civil Wars | iv. Wicked Game - Philip Phillips | v.If I Lose Myself (acoustic) - One Republic | vi.Addicted to Love - Florence + the Machine | vii.Stay the Night (acoustic) - Zedd feat. Haley Williams | viii.Million Dollar Man - Lana Del Rey | ix.Too Close - Alex Clare | x.Almost Lover - A Fize Frenzy
Stalin was not content with mere words; he also acted on them...
It began with popular campaigns in the media against religion, aiming to persuade citizens that religion was irrational and toxic. But soon things became considerably more violent:
“Churches were closed or destroyed, often by dynamiting; priests were imprisoned, exiled or executed. On the eve of the Second World War there were only 6,376 clergy remaining in the Russian Orthodox Churches, compared with the pre-revolutionary figure of 66,140. One dreadful day, 17 February 1938, saw the execution of 55 priests. In 1917 there were 39,530 churches in Russia; by 1940, only 590 remained functional.”
Alister McGrath; Why God Won’t Go Away: Engaging with the New Atheism
Similar stories could be told of Pol Pot or Mao Zedong, or numerous other atheistic dictators.
↳ a playlist for mermaids. part 2/4 of the godly creatures mix series.
i. nostalgie - benoit jutras ii. toxic - yael naim iii. come away to the water - dasha & nicole iv. what the water gave me - florence + the machine v. down by the water - signe tollefsen vi. harmless monster - cocorosie vii. heart of stone - iko viii. mermaid- okkervil river ix. becomes the color - emily wills x. killing moon - nouvelle vague
i. do i wanna know? • artic monkeys | ii. toxic• yael naim | iii. s&m• rihanna | iv. one more night•alex g. ft. chester see | v. in the next room • neon trees | vi. leave the door wide open • no | vii. dark in my imagination • of verona | viii. nicotine • panic! at the disco | ix. fear the fever • dark in my imagination | x. addicted to you • avicii | xi. landfill • daughter | xii. crazy in love • beyoncé | xiii. no light, no light • florence + the machine | xiv. make me wanna die • the pretty reckless | xv. better than love • hurts | xvi. try • p!nk | xvii. love me like you do • ellie goulding |