I want to fall in love again. I want to be able to say those three words again to someone that means everything to me. I want to feel alive again. But you’ve taken the meaning of it all away from me.
—  now you get the happy ending.

#BreatheOnMe - Dance is therapy, Britney Spears is everything in life. ❤️👸🏼Now, you all know how much I fucking love, adore, idolize, worship this perfect human being (I have her name tattoed on my wrist, and the dates I’ve seen her live tattoed on my bicep for heavens sake). Britney absolutely SLAYED my entire existence last night and no words can describe how proud of this woman I am! She is the true epitome of perfection, strength, sex, royalty and I’m so happy and proud to call myself one of her biggest fans since the very beginning. Slay the world Britney, show them why you are queen! #breatheonme #britneyspears #bbmas #pieceofme #britneyonbbmas #billboard #britney #britneybitch #toxic #womanizer #workbitch #touchofmyhand #imaslaveforyou #iloverocknroll #slayqueen #billboardmusicawards

It’s just me and you tonight.
So it’s okay for you to tell me that you want me.
No one is in sight.
No one can see.
In this moment, you are not my lovely plight.

Expose me for your pleasure.
Expose me so that I can dissolve into your warmth.
Your lips–I believe they are the cure
As they travel across my body healing my open scars.
Like puzzle pieces our lips fit to complete the picture.

Your hands–they caress my thighs Unleashing a wave of electricity flowing in my body.
I want you too I reply.
I am sent into a state of greed.
I want more and there are no questions of why.

And because it’s just me and you tonight,
Your hands ascend into scandalous land
And it feels so right.
They continue so my neck can feel the palm of your hands
Igniting a battle I won’t fight.

No one can compare
So please just kiss me more
Because I believe you care.
But then, I find myself gasping for air.
With each kiss, your hands grip tighter choking me.

But you see, because it’s you, I want more.
Go ahead, strangle me.
I will only beg for more.
Can’t you see? Your kisses are morphine.
It’s okay, for you, I will endure.

Tonight you are mine and I love it.
But when I wake up,
The real pain hits
And I succumb.
The picture we created?

It is of you leaving.
Your back to me as you close the door.
Not even your shadow is staying.
So I am left alone in the dark
In a state of self-deceiving.
But because it is you,
I wait for a night when it’s just me and you.

It is insane how those hands that love me
Are also the same hands that suffocate me.

-Miss Broken Hearted

4 things people should know about leaving toxic relationships

This includes friendships, lovers, and so on. 

  1. Most toxic people will not let you leave the relationship without strife. They will use fear tactics, humiliation, threats…so on. So, when leaving the toxic relationship–always prepare yourself. I often say that a toxic relationship is like having a leech on you. It will hurt, but you must be prepared. They may expose any secrets or information you told them in confidence. Some can even become physically abusive or even threat to commit suicide. 
  2. As a result of leaving, a huge chunk of your self-confidence, respect, and self-love have been stolen from them or left behind with the relationship. After all, a leech will still have your blood even after you part with it. It will be natural to feel tired, sad, and hopeless if you find that you feel that way. Leaving these relationships takes a lot of energy. 
  3. It’s normal if you feel mistrustful of others, full of guilt/shame, and closed off from others. This is especially true if your toxic person belittled, shamed, or guilted you often. Most toxic people have a habit of trying to use fear to manipulate and keep you around them. And now, you must recover from that abuse. 
  4. Recovery will take time to rebuild all that you lost in the relationship. Leaving a toxic relationship requires much more mental energy and time, so does healing from the relationship. There is no time limit you have to recover from the toxic relationship–it is solely based on yourself and your needs, no one else’s. Use this time to rebuild yourself and grow closer to yourself.
Sometimes I want to start an argument with you. And it’s because you love me so much, and I’m such a piece of shit to you, I figured that maybe if I made you hate me you wouldn’t worry about me anymore and you’d be able to truly be happy, because all I seem to do is hurt you.
—  Things He Once Said To Me
6 Ways to eliminate your own toxic behavior

Firstly, Toxic People tend to be those who practice negative behavior and thoughts so rigorously and often that it effects their ability to hold healthy relationships. For people who are severe in their negative behavior and thoughts–having unhealthy relationships becomes a pattern. For others, it’s not so much a pattern, it can be a particular person that brings out the toxic behavior and negative thoughts in them. People who are toxic to others can in fact heal and make a turnaround, though it will mean breaking an unhealthy pattern of negative thoughts and behaviors. Here are some ways to start that change if you have come to realize or feel that you may be toxic.

1. Work on having a positive mindset: The way we decide to look at the world will determine a lot about us–such as the people we attract to our lives, the way we decide to make our day turn out, and the choices we make. We have to focus on the good of each day, no matter how small. Why we have to do this is because the world is not just a bad place, but a place where good things do happen as well–and we cannot deny that. If you find that its hard for you to feel positive, you should make plans to do something you enjoy for yourself–something that is not purposely aimed to harm others. Give yourself things to look forward to: a concert, dinner at a restaurant, a movie, a hobby…etc

2. Begin to understand your fears: All negative emotions stem from the fear of something or someone. You must begin to connect with yourself in order to be able to determine when your actions stem from a negative emotion. 

“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

When you realize where your actions come from, a place of love or fear, you’ll be able to understand the choices you make–rather than just being self-righteous or narrow minded about your decisions. 

3. Come to terms with the past: Most of us, when hurt for the first time in our lives, become emotionally or intellectually held back–especially when the circumstances of that hurtful moment were severe. Some of us never have the time to come to terms with the past either, so we try to mindlessly leave it behind rather than embrace and understand it. Also, we tend to close ourselves off as a means to protect ourselves. To grow and change from that person, or rather our pained inner-child, we have to be able to fully embrace the past and grow from it. I often hear people say something like, “I’m over it” or “I’ve made so much progress” but then the next lines they speak talk about their anger, sadness, or inability to forgive for the event they speak of. That is not being “over it”. When we cannot come to terms with the past, we become resentful, sad, angry, jealous, envious…etc. Coming to terms with the past can also help us to break malicious cycles and patterns. I know this is not an easy one, but it must be done. 

4. Learn more about what it takes to sustain healthy relationships and self progress: Pick up self-help books that talk about the traits of healthy relationships and understanding who you are. I recommend ‘The Four Agreements’. Learn about defining what healthy relationships are while understanding healthy boundaries and respecting them. If you can do this, you can attract people to your life who want to be good to and for you. You will also have more fulfilling relationships. 

5. You must want to be able to change and be someone of good substance to those around you: This is one of the most crucial points because you really have to WANT the change. If you don’t want to really change, then sadly, you wont. Pursuing change can be tedious work, but you have to keep in mind the kind of person you want to be for those around yourself–harmful or helpful, negative or positive. 

6. Realize that it takes time to heal: Through this whole process, you have to realize that you are trying to heal yourself and that it will not all come at once. Some days, the progress will be great, and other days there may be regression or a standstill–or perhaps just a slither of progress. But, you must continue to live on through the days in pursuit of your progress–it is a journey. Do not easily give up, you can do it if you want to. :)