I know one day I’ll stop thinking about you. One day, I’ll forget you, forget it all. I won’t remember how your hand felt in mine or your smile or the way your eyes glinted whenever they looked at me. I won’t remember our stupid inside jokes and the songs we sang and the places we went and all of our late night conversations will just be a blur. 

One day, I won’t love you anymore.

And that’s what scares me the most.

—  I never fucking wanted to forget you but what choice do I have now?
Jackie Rose


A poem by Karys, (towritepoems here on tumblr,) now a song by me. Everybody go follow her blog, her poetry is lovely. ♥

butterflies died in my stomach
and turned into heavy stones
and I will lay in my bed forever
and make dust piles from my bones

oh god I can’t say that I miss you 
with silence spread out like the sea
with that blank stare sketched on your face
I know you’ve not thought of me

I am tired of feeling this tired
a terribly consistent fatigue
with a heavy heart blocking my lungs
you still make it hard to breathe

oh god I can’t say that I miss you 
with silence spread out like the sea
with that blank stare sketched on your face
I know you’ve not thought of me

you have been gone for quite a while
as I count the minutes in the bricks
it will be exactly seven thousand four
hundred and twenty when I finish this

oh god I can’t say that I miss you 
with silence spread out like the sea
with that blank stare sketched on your face
I know you’re not thinking of me

as we drove down the street I thought about how I still can’t fucking drive, and I watched you in your ray bans and ponytail from the corner of my eye and listened to you sing to the radio and thought about how that could be me but it’s not. and then I remembered that you’re not going to be around for forever, and then I looked out the window and your voice brought me back as your talked about a guy, and in my head all I’m doing is reassuring you that you’re better than any guy you talk to deserves and I know you don’t believe that, but I agree with you about whatever you’re saying, and I remember that you’re leaving, and I know it’s what you’ve waited for forever and I’m so excited for your life and I think about how I hope you live it; but now I’m looking at the setting sun and looking back on our day and trying to figure out why there has always been the perfect degree of tension between us that I think is what keeps us friends because without the tension we would be boring but I can’t ever figure out what it is and sometimes, it’s like I could cut it with a knife but other times it flickers out and either way it’s good and I hope you’re happy when you leave and it’ll all be alright I promise you.
—  as she left me - m.m.s
Dear You

dear you,
i love you more than anything
in the universe, and i want you
to know that that includes little
local coffee shops and stamps
that can’t be found anywhere
but old corner stores where
they should be worth hundreds
but they are sold for dimes and the
tails airplanes leave when they
are chasing bigger things
and i’ve heard that you’re doing
well and i want you to know that
i, too, am doing the best that
i can, especially on days when
i feel as if i have poured rocks
in through my ears and crawled
in with my underwear for a ride
in the washing machine.

dear you,
i love you more than anything
in this world and sometimes that’s
a terrifying thing to feel because
my heart’s less than one quarter of
who i am and i feel so small sometimes
and i wonder if maybe love is a
concept created by companies that
sell things made out of lace and
latex and chocolate and i’m scared
that i’m going to wrap myself around
you like a boa constrictor and swallow
you whole and i don’t think you’d like
that much because it would take
a long time to digest you and it would
be very dark in there.

dear you,
i love you more than anything in
this whole country and i don’t mean to
be unpatriotic but i don’t understand
politics and i know loving you isn’t
even legal every where that it should
be but it’s getting late and i wish
you would come home now please
come home because if you’re out
of arms reach then you’re too far away
and i am terrible at directions.
i thought i had been taking wrong turns
my whole life but i must have done
something right to have wound up
meeting you.

dear you,
i love you more than anything in
this whole town and this town is where
i was born and where i was raised
and where my family lives and the
reason i exist. i owe everything i am
to this town because it’s where my
parents met and decided to have me
and i’m thinking that i should thank
them because that simple act
is the reason i’m around to love you
the way that i do, in ways where
it feels like i’ve been laying down for
sixteen hours and then i stand straight
up and i black out for a good four
or five seconds and i’m floating
through space but things are okay
because although i feel crazy and
dizzy and out of control, my feet are
still firmly planted on the ground and
i am here and i’m not going anywhere.

dear you,
i love you more than anything in
my whole house. i love you more than the
crappy art i’ve made that hangs
half-finished on my walls and i love
you more than my favourite food that
sits tauntingly from my freezer and
i love you more than the bathtub that
allows me to have the bubble baths
you and i adore so much and i love you
more than the bed that hugs me
tenderly every night and i love you more
than my watch collection. you are my
favourite piece of art and my favourite
food and my favourite bath and my
favourite bed and my favourite watch
and i don’t care if it doesn’t make
sense because you are my favourite
everything and that’s what matters.
you are my favourite.

dear you,
i love you more than anything that
i have in me and everything i have to offer
but i want you to know that i have
so much in me and i know you’re going
to pick through me bit by bit because
you are the one person that believes
there is a speck of gold amongst
the dust and coal that i am and
no longer wish to be.

But in the end, the only thing I knew was that I loved you and you knew it. But it still wasn’t enough to make you stay. That’s all I’m left with. That’s all I know. And you know what? I think I’m finally okay with that.
—  Maybe I’ll never know why you did it, but I realized I don’t need to anymore//

People say you never know what you have till it’s gone. But fuck that stupid excuse. You knew what you had. You knew I loved you. You knew yet it wasn’t enough for you until you realized that I wasn’t there anymore, that I didn’t love you the same way anymore. 

You didn’t suddenly “realize” my worth. You just started worrying that you might have lost control of me. And you know what? You did.

—  If you love someone, set them free. If they loved you back, they wouldn’t go.