“If you could go back in time,  what would you do differently? ” he asked with a smirk.

I let the question sink in before answering. It was a question we all wish would come true.

“I would’ve stayed. ” I pause.

“And if I couldn’t stay, then I would want to stay at least for a few more minutes, seconds even. ”

“Why? ” he wasn’t smiling this time. He leaned closer.

I took a deep breath.
“Because that’s what we normally regret in the end,  isn’t it? Not staying long enough. Not saying enough. It’s never going to be enough. And I believe that if I did stay, eventually that wouldn’t be enough either. ”

I averted my eyes away from his and looked at my hands before answering.

“So, if I could have lingered a bit longer, I know it wouldn’t be enough. But it would make all the difference. ”

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, #1

I know one day I’ll stop thinking about you. One day, I’ll forget you, forget it all. I won’t remember how your hand felt in mine or your smile or the way your eyes glinted whenever they looked at me. I won’t remember our stupid inside jokes and the songs we sang and the places we went and all of our late night conversations will just be a blur. 

One day, I won’t love you anymore.

And that’s what scares me the most.

—  I never fucking wanted to forget you but what choice do I have now?
We were composed of the most beautiful symphonies. He would say I love you like it was an easier concept than to breathe. It all just flowed naturally. So for the longest time, I thought it was him that I needed but it was me. And I have experienced storms far greater than the ones he has blown my way. In the distance I can see a calm sea. I know maybe not now but really soon that I will be okay.
—  (102 / 365)
Jackie Rose


A poem by Karys, (towritepoems here on tumblr,) now a song by me. Everybody go follow her blog, her poetry is lovely. ♥

butterflies died in my stomach
and turned into heavy stones
and I will lay in my bed forever
and make dust piles from my bones

oh god I can’t say that I miss you 
with silence spread out like the sea
with that blank stare sketched on your face
I know you’ve not thought of me

I am tired of feeling this tired
a terribly consistent fatigue
with a heavy heart blocking my lungs
you still make it hard to breathe

oh god I can’t say that I miss you 
with silence spread out like the sea
with that blank stare sketched on your face
I know you’ve not thought of me

you have been gone for quite a while
as I count the minutes in the bricks
it will be exactly seven thousand four
hundred and twenty when I finish this

oh god I can’t say that I miss you 
with silence spread out like the sea
with that blank stare sketched on your face
I know you’re not thinking of me

I never thought twice about the color brown before I met you. Then I loved you and the brown of your eyes was all that I saw. It became the most breathtaking shade of the entire spectrum. Then you left and I stopped drinking coffee because I can no longer stand staring down at the deep brown milkiness.
—  negative associations
I am lonely as hell. But I would choose being alone forever over being with somebody who can’t make my heart bite my chest when they squeeze my hand. I am impatient as hell. I don’t wait for my water to boil before I use it for my tea. My pants are usually still damp when I put them on because the dryer hasn’t had time to finish. But I swear to God I will wait for that feeling. I am lonely and I am impatient but I am stubborn and I know what I want and I’m still trying to convince myself that it’s worth it to get what I deserve this time. The thought of love does that to a person.
—  February 28th, 2015. (K.P.K)
The funny thing about humans is their sense of invincibility. You don’t buckle your seat or you skip a meal and laugh it off and think you will be fine but then you self-destruct every time somebody looks at you the wrong way or a group of girls laugh at the exact moment when you walk by. You break your leg and know that you will heal but then you break your heart and suddenly the world has collapsed. You fail that course in high school and shrug because you can take it again but then you fall short of the expectations you set for yourself and told nobody about and you think this is it for you. The funny thing about humans is their sense of invincibility because it seems that it is only okay to be hurt when we get to decide what hurts us.
—  i was asking if you felt alright (K.P.K)