townie: a memoir

Falling out of a story hurts. But it’s nothing compared to the loss of an actual person, the loss of all the bright details that make up that person. All the flashing, radiant fragments that constitute an affair, or a love. If there has been a betrayal, you may find yourself holding each of these fragments up to a new light and rotating them there, watching each one grow an unwanted shadow.
—  Maggie Nelson, The Red Parts: a Memoir

There have been a few romantic… missteps this month, so to speak, and on one hand that combined with my birthday was kind of crushing. And yet on the other, like, there’s a part of me that thinks I could share a house with my (entirely platonic) person and have cats and maybe raise a kid and be entirely happy at the end of my life, so.

(I may have maxed out my quota for the loves of my life early on, and I’m so glad they are the best of friends.)

The clear awareness of having been born into a losing struggle need not lead one into despair. I do not especially like the idea that one day I shall be tapped on the shoulder and informed, not that the party is over but that it is most assuredly going on—only henceforth in my absence. (It’s the second of those thoughts: the edition of the newspaper that will come out on the day after I have gone, that is the more distressing.) Much more horrible, though, would be the announcement that the party was continuing forever, and that I was forbidden to leave. Whether it was a hellishly bad party or a party that was perfectly heavenly in every respect, the moment that it became eternal and compulsory would be the precise moment that it began to pall.
—  Christopher Hitchens, Hitch-22: A Memoir
8

“There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I’ll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be ‘comedies’ and not ‘female’ or ‘male,’ and everyone gets an equal opportunity.”

Happy 43rd Birthday, Kristen Wiig! (August 22nd, 1973)

  • family: *goes out*
  • me: comin outta my cage and ive been doin just fine
  • me: LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOO LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CANT HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE
  • me: and the walls kept tumblin DOWN in the city that we LOOOOOUUUUUVVVEEEEEE
  • me: saaaarrahh smiles like saaarrah doesnt cARE
  • me: IM ALIVE IM ALIVE I AM SO ALIVE
  • me: iTS WERE MY DEMONS. HIDE. ITS. WHERE. MY. DEMONS. HIDE.
  • me: wellitisntmyfaultiwasgiventhosebeansyoupersuadedmetotradeawaymycowforbeansandwithoutthosebeanstheredhavebeennostalktogetuptothegiantsinthe fiRST PLACE WAITAMINUTE magicbeansforacowsooldthatyouhADDATELLALIETOSELLITwhichyoUTOLD
  • me: cOME OUT VIRIGINIA. DONT LET ME WAIT YACATH-OL-IC GIRLS START MUCHTOOOLATE
  • family: *comes home*
  • me: sup.