psa for non-Americans and non-New England Americans
you know the Salem witch trials? that thing where nobody got burned and nobody was an actual witch but it was still a big deal because 19 innocent people were executed?
well the place we call Salem now was not where that happened. that place used to be called Salem Town. the trials happened in what was then called Salem Village (also sometimes “the farms”). it was an agrarian community with stronger Puritan values that sometimes clashed with the more worldly trading center Salem Town
after the trials Salem Village was so ashamed that it changed its name to Danvers and went on to experience a bunch more dark and tragic stuff. Salem Town said “sweet, tourism!” and jumped on the witch bandwagon and is now a center of pretty nice magic shops, pretty tacky tourist attractions, and pretty pretty historical dance events
Danvers has a laser tag place and they used to have a Denny’s but it closed
the single most messed up i’ve ever been from a moment was when we were doing a book signing in a town called Bristol in England, and we met one really emotional mum - a sad mum. i mean anyone would just get slaughtered by that, there’s no way you can stand up to a sad mum, and she was just like “oh, my daughter or my son have had a really really tough year” but she was really emotional and crying and she was like “i just want to say thank you, everything’s been terrible. but just because they’ve been watching your videos, they’ve been smiling and having a good time”. that was the most real i’ve ever seen something and she was saying “it’s not like you’re Superman or you know..” but simply like - she just wanted to say “thank you. beacuse just by providing this light entertainment, you’ve been so helpful. i really appreciate that you’re just doing whatever the heck it is that you do” and it was that moment where i was like “i can’t complain about anything really” because even if i doubt like “how good is my content? why am i doing it? what’s the meaning of anything?” all of that doesn’t matter when you have that one mum saying “thank you”. despite what you think of what you do, purely because of it existing, you’re doing this really great thing - and that’s just stuck with me for a long time.
I had sex in a graveyard and was walking around nude cause it was like 80 degrees and I was all sweaty and it was like midnight or whatever.
So this car rolls up out of nowhere and I’m stark fucken naked.
I’m also white as fuck. I glow in the dark.
I make eye contact with the dude driving.
I don’t make a move to cover up or anything because idgaf about being naked.
I see his eyes widen….
He fucken books it out of there like a bat out of hell.
And that’s the story about how I became a ghost sighting in a small town in New England.