Okay! I’m moved out and into my own apartment now. Me and @ask-ghostly-mist are now fully fledged adults, more or less, and our internet just got hooked up. So while I attempt to find my tablet in the mess of shit piled into boxes, please enjoy this picture I randomly pulled up from my downloads.
EXCLUSIVE || Rising Star Harry Styles’ Interstellar Secret Relationship Revealed
The galaxy-trotting star on Graham Norton on Friday April 21st promoting his stellar single Sign of the Times
The 1D star has attracted a lot of rumours over the last seven years, with some more grounded in reality than others (looking at you, sheep placenta facials), and in a bid to honour his goal to be “more honest” with his solo record, Harry Styles (23) decided to have a sit down with us here at the AAS and come clean about one of his biggest rumours: Hobama.
Here’s an look at the exclusive interview.
The original revelation of Hobama to the world
Rumours of the two men’s relationship began swirling in 2014 after an article stating that Barack Obama (55) was hiding a “gay lifestyle” came out in the National
Examiner and they haven’t died out since. With Styles’ recent confirmation of their relationship on Graham Norton, those rumours have now proven to be based in reality after all.
“It’s real,” Styles confesses, “Barack and I are together. Have been for
a long time now. There were a lot of things keeping us from sharing the
truth. He was the president of the United States, I’m an alien in a
boy band. But we’re ready now. We don’t want there to be any secrets
Styles mingling with local LA Earthlings
Styles explains, “We, uh, actually met at Area 51. My saucer had just crash-landed in the desert. I was coming back from a quick weekend trip to my home planet and I misjudged how much fuel my craft had left. Re-entering the atmosphere is always a little hard on the saucer. Makes it difficult for my family to come visit.
But it’s like it happened yesterday, I think is how that saying goes. The stars were so bright, and you could see what you humans call the Milky Way galaxy in the sky. Barack and his secret agents had come out to investigate the landing sight, and when he stepped out of his Range Rover and his eyes met mine, well. We both knew. Barack likes to say that when the headlights of the vehicle shone in my face time stopped, and he knew his life would never be the same. The rest is history. Proper romantic, if I do say so myself.”
Styles’ beau Obama throwing one of Styles’ favourite touristic activities to do on Earth: attend yacht parties
“We had to keep it quiet, you know?” Styles says, “He had to lead the United States. Can you imagine if it got out that he was in love with an alien he met on highly secretive government property? Disaster. I don’t even want to think about the kind of conversations global leaders would have at world conferences. Never mind what congress would have to say about it.”
He continues, “It was hard, sometimes. We both travelled a lot for work, so we didn’t get to spend as much time together as we wanted to. I mean, I still travel a lot, but now that Barack doesn’t have to run a country anymore we get to see each other more often. I still haven’t had a chance to take him home to meet the rest of the family on my home planet, though.”
A young Styles discussing his wishes to marry somebody from another planet
“The boys have always been really great about it though, ever since they heard about mine and Barack’s love for each other,” Styles adds. “Actually,” he amends, “Niall was jealous for a while. Did you know he has a statue of Barack? Bit strange, that. But he got past it and now they’re great friends.”
We reached out to former Vice President Joe Biden (74) for commentary on his feelings about Hobama, and he responded:
“It’s great. I’m very happy for Barack. They didn’t want to say anything at first, but eventually they realized that ol’ Joe would be the first person to defend their love to the world. And I will. If anybody has anything nasty to say about these two I’d like them to come see me. Has anybody said anything nasty? Do I need to take down some names?”
Styles on his home planet, Keewee
With the two men coming from different planets, certain cultural
differences for the couple to work through would be expected, but Styles
assures us that the two haven’t ever had any problems of the sort, and
that their relationship is based on love and mutual respect, like any
“We wouldn’t have lasted this long if we didn’t
share the understanding that we do. And there’s a lot of understanding
that needs to happen between the two of us for our relationship to
work!” Styles explains.
The 1D star, who is proud of his
heritage, talks about it openly. “My home planet and culture really has
had a huge impact on who I am today and the art I create. In fact, the
cover art for my single, Sign of the Times, is a picture of me back home
on Keewee. I love sharing my Keeweesian heritage with Earthlings, and
especially Barack. He’s always eager to learn and experience more. The
song is actually about us being able to get off Earth so I can show
Barack Keewee. I hope we get to make the trip some day. I think he’d
really like it.”
Styles showing solidarity for his fellow extraterrestrials by wearing the intergalactic brand Gucci
Styles’ brand of choice, Gucci, is Keeweesian, and the star does what he can to support the local business.
“I wish it didn’t cost so much, but it isn’t cheap to send materials all the way to Earth from Keewee, you know? I just want Earthlings to love Keewee and Keeweesian culture as much as I do, but I understand it’s not easy. I do what I can. It’s a beautiful planet and the Keeweeans are a beautiful people. Considering Barack knows one of us personally, I think he would agree with me. Or, at least I hope he would!” Styles jokes.
Obama and Styles at a recent photo shoot to showcase their relationship
What’s next for the couple? Styles isn’t sure, but he isn’t worried.
“We’re just taking it one day at a time. I’m doing my solo stuff, Barack is enjoying his well-earned time off. Maybe we’ll be able to take that trip to Keewee sooner than we think. Until then, we’re just going to enjoy finally being able to share our love with the world.”
We here at the AAS are certainly ecstatic for the couple, and wish them all the best. Don’t forget to check back here again with us for all the future Hobama exclusives!
(in light of Harry’s #confirmation of Hobama on Graham Norton, here’s another article! as usual, all the thanks to the lovely wonderful people in the AAS. these don’t exist without you guys and your help! it’s y’all’s brainstorming and ideas that help to get these things off the ground. credits to any of y’all whose ideas are in the article, and special thanks to Harry for making my Hobama dreams come true. love you guys forever, and i hope y’all enjoy! 😘❤️)
Some of my work from this semester on my Overwatch meets LA project. Experimented with my final rendering style on this one. Hipster Hanzo the barista that plays his guitar in the coffee shop during his breaks. And fitness nut Tracer & sunburned annoyed tourist Widowmaker! Though this style was fun to push for this project, I’m definitely going to go with my more visdev and shape design style with my senior project. Already working on the IP and more interactive ideas…
St Mary’s Ontario ~ Canada ~ Architectural Work of Art “Lionvale” 236 Jones St E by Onasill ~ Bill Badzo Via Flickr: Architectural Work of Art “Lionvale” 236 Jones St E in perfectly preserved Victorian Heritage town of St Marys (pop 6,600) . Circa 1880. Second Empire Italianate style, 5 bdrms )
Sold for approx &700. 000
The historic Lionvale in St. Mary’s Ontario Canada is for sale.
St. Marys is a town in southwestern Ontario, Canada. It is located at the junction of Thames River and Trout Creek, southwest of Stratford and surrounded by the Township of Perth South. It is in the Perth census division but is independent of Perth County. The town is also known by its nickname, “The Stone Town”, due to the abundance of limestone in the surrounding area, giving rise to a large number of limestone buildings and homes throughout the town. St. Marys Cement, a large cement producer founded in the town, capitalized on this close feedstock, and grew to be a major producer of cement in the province of Ontario.
St. Marys is home to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame.