toujours son renard


And it made my night.

No, my week.

Actually, the joy that I gained from something so thoughtful and full of love will never fully wear off. 

…I’m even at a loss for words right now. SO FILLED WITH HAPPY. Despite the stress of school and time management and that damn distance and just… life in general… I still feel so content and strong and bright and complete and… loved. So very loved, because of her.


And not even that word can do this justice.

I love you more than anything, Jess. 

Jess słeeptalks. And sometimes she'll respond when I ask her questions about her sleep-musings.
  • Jess: *chuckles* it's so simple...
  • Me: what is, love?
  • Jess: pie.
  • Me: what's so simple about it?
  • Jess: making it! I wanna make a pie... for pie day...
  • Me: I think pie day has already passed.
  • (Silence for a few moments; I thought she fell asleep, until)
  • Jess: strudel!!
  • Me: what kind of pie do you want to make, love?
  • Jess: butterscotch.
  • Me: is there such a thing?
  • Jess: *shaking with laughter, trying to stifle it* there is now!!!
I haven't had an outburst of tears since being at the airport,

which has to be a new record. It gets a little better every time we have to leave each other, I swear.

It’s because every time I get to see you, we become, somehow, closer and more comfortable with each other and surer that yes- this thing we have, against all the world’s odds; this is good.

“Solid” was the word you used to describe us. It’s perfect. We are solid. I’ve never felt so sure of anything as I do us, not ever.

Yet no matter how much easier it becomes… leaving and having to be apart… Even with exciting plans of future visits and more serious planning for more permanent arrangements in the not-so-distant future… Gahhh, it still sucks. Like having half of your soul ripped off and taken far away, held hostage for a while. It’s exhausting, really. Mentally and physically and emotionally.

I finally just managed to sit up after sleeping fitfully for a few hours. It was so much harder, especially as I envision you laying behind me, squeezing me gently around the middle and whispering, encouragingly, “come on, let’s go”. You’re the only one that could get me up so fast… when we aren’t too busy cuddling or playing video games. =P

“We are going to be so big in this world,” you told me today.

Because you’re perfect for me, and I for you.

And we can do anything as long as we’re together.

And I love you, unconditionally, with all my heart and being.

Happy birthday, Jess.

And thank you for yet another amazing visit. Can’t wait until they’re permanent.

Tattoo Adventures

Momentarily, we will be getting a tattoo. Of what, you ask? The tumblr “t” logo, of course! It was suggested by a friend in a joking manner… But then we looked at each other and said “wait a minute… That’s actually perfect.” Going on a year of tumblr friendship, a tribute to the website that brought us together… why didn’t we think of it sooner? Say what you will about lesbian couple stereotypes; this feels so very right. Without tumblr there would be no “us”, so I’m thankful for it every day. Pictures to come. ;]

Do you ever have moments when you feel like you’re as close to someone as you can be, then something as simple as an open and honest talk happens, and you suddenly feel a hundred times closer?
I guess that’s one of the beauties of time: time spent together, together or apart, long or short. So long as both persons use their time to learn as much as they can about each other, love flourishes.

About how I have the greatest girlfriend in the entire universe...

…who stays awake with me and unselfishly listens to me read my poetry textbook aloud (because I need to read these things aloud) and doesn’t mind and helps when I can’t pronounce words correctly and is amused when I ramble or rage and who actively listens and offers her opinions and laughs with me and who reads me some poetry back and JUST KEEPS ME SANE AND MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH BETTER while I toil the night away. And I’m so thankful.