rick and morty: the rickshank redemption sentence starters
– spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.
‘ anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison. ’ ‘ i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do! ’ ‘ it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home? ’ ‘ get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times. ’ ‘ you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment? ’ ‘ relaxed, enough? ’ ‘ he is the smartest man in the universe. ’ ‘ well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules. ’ ‘ you’ve hardly touched your pills. ’ ‘ stop saying his name. he abandoned us! ’ ‘ horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want? ’ ‘ maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling! ’ ‘ admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here. ’ ‘ yeah well, tough titties. ’ ‘ that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty. ’ ‘ if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories. ’ ‘ oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye. ’ ‘ fine, but i’m driving. ’ ‘ hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now. ’ ‘ they weaponized the eiffel tower! ’ ‘ no one’s special to him. not even himself. ’ ‘ i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill. ’ ‘ we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything. ’ ‘ i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me. ’ ‘ in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS. ’ ‘ wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie? ’ ‘ i used to wear blue pants. ’ ‘ well, well, well if it isn’t us. ’ ‘ nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it. ’ ‘ i’ll make it up as i go. ’ ‘ oh my god… i have that exact same top! ’ ‘ that’s my sister. this used to be my home. ’ ‘ imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it. ’ ‘ excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are? ’ ‘ i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough? ’ ‘ i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’ ’ ‘ why would you do that? what is the matter with you people? ’ ‘ i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!! ’ ‘ awesome possum! ’ ‘ yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost. ’ ‘ you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story. ’ ‘ lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise! ’ ‘ he’s a spy, blow him up. ’ ‘ i’m gonna go take a shit. ’ ‘ he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun. ’ ‘ i say: fuck you. ’ ‘ you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious. ’ ‘ what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection. ’ ‘ let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard. ’ ‘ he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god. ’ ‘ i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now. ’ ‘ i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron! ’ ‘ you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all! ’ ‘ who’s stupid now, bitch? ’ ‘ i’m almost proud. ’ ‘ look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working. ’ ‘ guess who dismantled the government? ’ ‘ please don’t leave me again. ’ ‘ is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison. ’ ‘ no, you’re right. where’s the vodka? ’ ‘ i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that. ’ ‘ i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out. ’ ‘ but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’ ‘ take it easy – that’s dark! ’ ‘ welcome to the darkest year of our adventures! ’ ‘ if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever! ’ ‘ and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man. ’ ‘ i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake. ’ ‘ i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’ ‘ that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons! ’ ‘ i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce! ’ ‘ that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end! ’ ‘ what are you talking about? ’ ‘ nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years! ’ ‘ fine. fuck it. who cares? ’
I remember reading this in total disbelief, even back then. Regardless of how the girl feels, this article advised that you HAD to give sex, that you owed a boy sex, if you made it to a bedroom. It even mentioned that it doesn't matter if you're at a party or in someone else's home. There was no mention whatsoever on if you'd even kissed the boy. Just that once you were there, tough titties, you had to put out. Suffice to say I did not continue reading the magazines.
It’s so sad to hear that this is in a magazine that’s often read by impressionable young girls.
I remember eagerly reading Seventeen Magazine and like magazines when I was as young as 12. They seemed very mature and sophisticated to me and I would, maybe not knowingly, look to these types of things to see how older women behaved… How I should behave.
Those are not the things we want men or women to think. Men and women have the right to say no at any time for any reason.
If I were in a situation where I was in someone’s room and I thought something was “going to happen” and then they said no… I’d be disappointed. I’d probably be annoyed. I’d probably be frustrated. But that’s the way it’s going to be. You have to suck it up and respect that person changed their mind.
I’d be interested to know when this magazine was published.
carlos imagine where your captains hook’s daughter and are ike brave and stuff and carlos’ kind of gf from back on the isle and when you get to auradon audrey tries to embarrass you by challenging you to a cheerleading tryout thing but you actually kick ass
You got it (Changed the romance a bit, I hope that’s cool)
“Son of a-”
“Language,” Carlos said, walking up next to you.
“Shut up de Vil, my essay that I wrote for the stupid goodness class is missing.”
“You mean this?” he asked, holding up the paper. “You left it in our room last night when you were helping Jay write his.”
You snatched it from him. “Oh, thank god.”
“Nope, I’m just Carlos.”
You pointed at him. “de Vil, I swear to god.”
He grinned and ran off. You stuffed the paper in your bag and shut your locker, smiling to yourself.
“Aw, does someone have a crush?” a familiar whiny voice asked.
You squeezed your eyes shut. “Hi Audrey.”
“I can’t believe the heartless, leather wearing pirate has feelings!”
You glared at her. “I never said I had a crush on him.”
“ugh, whatever. Look, there’s a cheerleading competition to try and find a new member for the cheer team. You should come check it out.”
You made a face. “Cheerleading isn’t really my thing.”
“Oh, well, if it’s too hard for you…”
You knew she was baiting you but you couldn’t resist it. “I’ll be there.”
“I can’t believe you agreed to this,” Carlos said. “It’s so not like you.”
You groaned. “She challenged me! You guys know I can’t resist a challenge.”
“(Y/N)!” Audrey cried. “So glad you could make it!”
“Where’s everyone else?” you asked with your hands on your hips.
“They couldn’t make it. I guess you’ll be going against me!”
You groaned. “Get on with it then,” you muttered.
Someone started playing music and Audrey did her routine. When she finished, she took a swig from her water bottle and then turned to you. “Your turn,” she said smugly.
You took off your jacket and tossed it on the bleachers. You were glad you had decided not to wear a waist cincher today.
“Carlos, music please.”
“Gladly,” he said, grinning.
You had spent a lot of time on board your father’s ship, and pirates were surprisingly into dance offs. You had been breakdancing since you were very small. Flipping around in the riggings helped too.
When you finished, everyone stared at you in shock.
“Wow,” Carlos said, staring at you with his mouth hanging open.
Audrey sniffed. “Well. It looks like the pirate can dance. But you’re not on the team.”
“Wait a minute!” Jay said indignantly. “She danced better than you and you know it.”
“Well this wasn’t a dance competition. It was a cheerleading competition.”
“Audrey,” one of the girls said. “We kind of think we should let her on the team. Like, not in routines, but give her solos to get the crowd pumped.”
Audrey gasped a little. “Are-are you serious? You want to let her on the squad so she can dance for people?”
“Yeah. We all want to. It’s kind of a majority thing.”
Audrey stomped her foot. “But then she’ll be better than me!”
Some, not a lot. I don’t use the standard tags on my Destiel posts (supernatural, dean winchester etc) so antis have to really make an effort to find my posts by looking in the Destiel tag or will only see it if someone else reblogs with standard tags.
I don’t really care what antis think to be honest, as the name suggests, they’re just toxic. What I do care about is interaction with like minded people or people with different opinions on matters who I can have a good conversation with and discuss thoughts and feelings with in a calm and open minded way.
I just block hate as it is in no way a benefit to my existence or a valid way to have a discussion or change someones mind on something, it is pointless and I don’t need someone else to tell me my reading of something is wrong by being a dick about it.
I have differing opinions on some meta readings with people and you know what? We are adults about it and discuss it in a friendly and open way and I really enjoy it :)
Really though, it seems from other bloggers that a few antis are just being extra nasty atm because they can see what is happening in the show and they don’t like it… well tough titties, all that’s happening is the subtext that the Destiel shippers have been saying has been there the whole time is now being made more obvious and its glorious :)
Welpsss I lost a few followers since I started posting my Jon fics…I honestly don’t care. I’m gonna keep writing both of my loves which are my SPN world and my blue eyed rock star. If they don’t like it…tough titties because I ain’t changing my shit for their liking. It’s my blog. Not theirs.
Hey type 1 diabetic here. Let me tell you why the statement above is a load of bullshit.
1. Our bodies are waging war against themselves
2. It takes us longer to heal when we get hurt and it takes us longer to recover from illnesses because our immune system is jacked
3. We could die at any moment without warning
4. Low blood sugars feel like you’re going through drug withdrawals
5. High blood sugars feel like your body is drying out like a fucking raisin
6. Afraid of needles? Well tough titties! We need to prick our fingers 3+ times a day, and either pierce yourself every 3 days for a pump site change or take 4+ injections everyday
7. Our organs are slowly failing
8. We have a high chance of going blind
9. We could lose our feet and legs
10. Insulin is expensive as fuck
11. Testing strips are expensive as fuck
12. The constant highs and lows drain us
13. We can’t just eat food right away. We need need to calculate how many grams of carbohydrates are in our food, test our blood sugar, configure in a correction if need be, dose, and by the time we take our first bite; everyone else have already finished
14. Doctors are expensive as fuck
15. Pumps, Meters, and CGMs are expensive as fuck
16. No one ever takes our illness seriously
17. Having children is VERY risky for lady diabetics
18. The constant fear we have when we go to sleep knowing that we might not ever wake up due to low blood sugars at night
19. The bruises and scars all over our body from YEARS of injections, site changes, and finger pricks
20. How our feet and hands are always freezing due to our poor fucking circulation
So tell me again how our suffering “isn’t that bad”
Make another joke about the worst thing that has probably ever happened to us
Laugh again when you say “All of this food is going to give me di-ah-beet-us”
Just know that you sound like a huge asshole to us actual diabetics.
Mercs reactions to their SO not going through with a serious mission, because they found it to immoral/couldn't bring themselves to do it ect. therefore going rouge. And then they are ordered to find and kill them since they're a loose end.
my gods thats specific…
Medic: Doesnt really understand the moral part of the problem in the first place but has an issue with having to kill his ex-SO since he put quite a bit of lab work into them and doesnt want to kill his experiment. besides… he has grown fond of their companionship and would miss them dearly… maybe he could kill them… but also not kill them??
Soldier: THEY ARE A DESERTER AND NEED TO DIE… but he cant hurt someone he loves… and he knows they are good and pure so maybe theres something more to it than them just being a deserter.
Heavy: Understands not doing something because you know it is wrong, there is no way he could hunt down his SO. he doesnt care if they are rouge. he will go rouge as well if thats what it takes.
Demo: A little uncertain about the reasons behind it, but if there is a moment where his SO can explain themselves he will listen. he is grasping for any reason not to go through with it. but it might be too late before he even really knows whats going on.
Spy: He has fixed up loose ends before, his ex-SO should have known better than to let him find them. going rouge is what spies do best, he knows what to expect. and thinks they kind of have it coming and really werent that great after all if something as small as a moral reservation stops them from getting the job done.
Scout: agrees with them 100 and goes rogue with them. hes a loyal bitch and if they say something is wrong he believes them. and they can order him around to kill his SO as much as he wants he will kill them instead before he lays a finger on them.
Sniper: Hes an assassin, and this is the life. his SO choose to do this and its his job to do it. he knows that if he doesnt kill them its going to be someone else. and in a way he feels they would rather have him than some stranger. at least with him its a quick dignified death. but when hes looking at their broken face through his scope. he just cant do it…
Engie: not doing something because you just dont want to doesnt really go with him. sometimes you have shit you gotta do that you dont want to and tough titty. they know his plans, and they are dangerous. if anything they could be captured and forced to spill the information. he would do all in his power to get them to come back and beg for their lives. but if he has to put them down he will.
Pyro: theres no way. pyro doesnt give a shit about missions and information. their SO is still and always will be their SO and there is nothing pyro could ever to to hurt them.
A lot of students (you guys) ask the question: Why do I have to do this? Why does this matter? How does this apply in the real world?
Well, here’s your answer. Brace yourselves.
Why do I have to learn-?
Math: Mainly for logic and decision making, but also because as long as you live in a currency based society, math will be important. Your income and how you spend it will impact how you live, where you live, what you can afford to get by in life, etc. You cannot just say “I’m not a math person.” Bullshit, you don’t like word problems. Get over it. Be a math person and not a broke person.
English: For obvious reasons, it’s the fucking language you speak if you live in the western world. Coherency is a huge part of communicating and being understood. I don’t care if you don’t like grammar- how you write and speak impacts how people perceive you. A well spoken conversation or a well written essay (read as: resume and job application) can change your life.
Literature/The Arts: Books, theatre, artists, and more give us insight. To elaborate, they give us insight into situations and circumstances that impact you and people you know. You have to read The Great Gatsby because it’s the most accessible way to teach you that the American Dream is bullshit and you should strive for more than being famous or wealthy. You’ll have to watch plays like Fences so you, as someone who is presumably not African-American or working class, can understand the struggle and see what life is like outside your bubble. The arts open doorways of comprehension you would have never found before. You need the arts to be a well rounded human being.
Biology/Chemistry/Physics/Sciences: It’s appalling that most people, especially those in the power, don’t understand how the world works. They don’t get climate change, female anatomy, reproductive processes, or fundamental facts of the goddamn universe. That person could be you, and you could be responsible for not only dictating how people live, but how our planet survives. Even if you aren’t, you need to be an informed member of the population who can help make decisions for the better.
History: History repeats. Patterns always emerge and replay themselves over time. I think a huge reason the Gay Civil Rights movement has seen so much progress in the past ten years is because we have a generation of adults who witnessed/studied the Black Civil Rights movement. They understand the similarities in the struggle. The same applies to politicians and methods of discourse used in elections. I won’t name names, but history repeats- unless you do something about it.
PE: For the love of your self, you need to exercise. Our culture is sedentary enough as is, all you need is 30 minutes a day to not gain weight, an hour to lose weight. Develop the habits now while your metabolism is malleable and use the class to find something you like.
Computers: You know the answer already. Technology is only getting more essential. Keep up or get left behind.
But I don’t like that/any of those subjects!.
Tough titties because you don’t always get to do the things you like to do. Learn to suck it up now and be a better adult for it.
It’s not just you in that school. Your peers will take wildly different paths from you. They may need to learn calculus because they’re going to be dealing with abstract figures in their careers. Maybe someone wants to be a college-level professor who can dissect Hamlet with ease. Maybe someone wants to study the human body so they can be a physical therapist and heal their loved ones someday. We all require different things in our lives.
But even if you don’t like any of those, bear this in mind:
Having an overwhelming amount of knowledge in one subject and next to no insight for anything else makes you so goddamn insufferable as a human being. This goes back to an earlier point in that everyone is different and not everybody likes what you do. If you gain a well rounded knowledge with some understanding of many things, you will find so many people to connect to and you will grow as a person. You will even enjoy it, trust me. However, should you choose to live a myopic life where your only interaction is with others who act as a sounding board for your thoughts, then you will live a stunted life unaware that you could have understood anything more than what you already perfected.
School isn’t just about grades and college mills. You are literally being trained to be a functioning adult in our society. Now get to work.
Also, an important note: Turning in Assignments: Jesus Christ, just do it. Most of your grades in High School are based on your homework. Not even doing it well, just doing it. Seriously, this impacts you later in life because nobody gives a crap about who you are unless you have something to show for it. Just. FUCKING. DO IT.