Hey I want to preface this by saying I’m a good person and I don’t deserve this
Yesterday I made chicken tortilla soup because I thought that would be fun and I cut up a jalapeno for it
BY THE BY I’ve been eating jalapenos my whole life I guess I’ve just never??? Cut up a raw jalapeno before????
The whole story occurred after midnight on a fucking Tuesday (I guess Wednesday morning)
My left thumb and pointer finger started stinging like all hell like at first I thought I could ignore it but it just kept on burning. My first instinct was to dunk my hand in a cup of milk and that is exactly what I did
But when I took my hand out of the milk it was still on fire so I googled my situation and LET ME TELL YOU GUYS this is a WELL KNOWN mistake known as “hot pepper hands” and it is exactly what it sounds like
Things that are supposedly remedies for hot pepper hands:
(I say supposedly because, spoiler, none of them worked for me)
Make baking soda/water paste, put on hands, let dry,
Wash with Dawn or other dishsoap that is better at cutting through oils
Scrub with olive oil and THEN Dawn
This one actually managed to spread the pain to most of the rest of my left hand, leaving only my pinky finger safe from the burning fires of hell
and THEN there is one “SOLUTION” which says you should put your hand in hot water to “open your pores” to “let the poison out” or whatever and THEN scrub with olive oil and wash
everyone that gave this as a solution noted that putting your hand in hot water while it’s being eaten away with acid is super painful but they’re all just like “it’s for the greater good, good luck!”
so I’m like…
AND THEN I DUNK MY HAND IN A BOWL OF HOT WATER AND I SCREEEEEEEEEEAM
and i hold it in the hot water for a full minute
IT DOESN’T WORK
I DO IT A SECOND TIME
S C R E E E E A M
(my roommate was very concerned at the scream and at being asked to pour olive oil on my hand since it’s hard to maneuver around the kitchen one-handed, trying not to poison any surface with the poison of a thousand suns)
literally it was like that scene in fight club with the lye and ed norton just having to watch his hand sizzle
Another “solution” to the problem was phrased like this:
wear gloves, idiot
My hands are still burning but I’m like jesus h motherfuck it is 2 AM i will just try to sleep and suffer but 10 minutes later I think I am about to just die like this is it, a single jalapeno is going to consume my flesh, starting with my left hand and eventually reaching my heart
gotta give it to the jalapenos they are fighters
didn’t think they were dangerous! but they are
wear gloves idiot
So I went to the fridge and put a bunch of ice cubes in a bag and I just held it in my hand and fell asleep like that, like with a little ice pack teddy bear giving me blissful relieving numbness
Ice is a fucking blessing and don’t you forget it, humankind’s greatest achievement is inventing a machine that will allow us, with some foresight, to have ice on hand whenever the fuck we need it I mean do you realize how amazing that is???? To have a freezer???? To have air conditioning!!!!!
So the icepack melted and my hand was still burning at 4am which is when I woke up from the pain and went to make myself another ice pack. Hours later the ice pack had melted again and my hand felt way WAY better but my pillow was soaked. Doesn’t matter it was a fucking relief to wake up and realize my hand had not been melted by acid.
tldr: never cut a hot pepper with your bare hands!!!!
“He had carried her, fought beside her, spent whole nights next to her, both of them on their bellies, peering through a long glass, watching some warehouse or merch’s mansion. This was nothing like that. He was sick and frightened, his body slick with sweat, but he was here. He watched that pulse, the evidence of her heart, matching his own beat for anxious beat. He saw the damp curve of her neck, the gleam of her brown skin. He wanted to … He wanted.
Before he even knew what he intended, he lowered his head. She drew in a sharp breath. His lips hovered just above the warm juncture between her shoulder and the column of her neck. He waited. Tell me to stop. Push me away.
She exhaled. “Go on,” she repeated. Finish the story.”
~ leigh bardugo, crooked kingdom
Firstly, don’t touch your skin, because your hands have a lot of bacteria. I also believe in always using alcohol gel on your hands, because everywhere we’re touching things.
When I say goodbye to someone I don’t kiss, because this also has a lot of bacteria [laughs]. Don’t kiss just anyone, that’s my advice.
Never try to push a pimple. If you have one, the best thing you can do is to take a pure alcohol on a Q-tip, and delicately touch it.
I’ll often make myself a natural mask with honey and avocado, or I’ll make a mask with oats and milk - oats are very good as a scrub to cleanse the skin. I also like pure oils - like avocado oil. I’ll warm it in my hands and rub it in.
When I wake up, I wash my face only with water, and I take a small towel and dab it gently.
In terms of products, I use Doctor Alkaitis organic moisturiser - with no perfume, no chemicals; just natural products inside. I try wherever possible to keep my skin free from chemicals day-to-day. I have an amazing herbal toner from Dr Alkaitis, but very little else.
I also like to make a hot bath for my skin: combine some oils and herbs and let the pores open, and then use a towel afterwards to gently dab the skin.
Having said that, I see Dr Colbert in New York and he has an amazing three-part treatment: the first level is basically a machine that takes away all the dirt and cleans your skin; then there’s a delicate laser that closes your pores; then the third level is an acid used like a peel. And that’s the only treatment I will do.
When I travel, I make sure I have a good natural moisturiser to rehydrate my skin, and once I’m on the flight I’ll put on a mask and just sleep with it on.
Make-up is also very important because it can clog your skin, and you don’t want your skin to be clogged. There is an Armani foundation that I use, it’s already very thin, but I’ll mix it with a little moisturiser before I apply.
Then vitamins, because vitamins nourish your skin from the inside out. Vitamin E, A, all the omegas, and fish oil are all very important - and also I like to eat chicken soup because it contains collagen. I eat a lot of avocado, a lot of fish, beef - because your skin is built from these oils. You need to care for the skin from inside. I can have pasta, trust me - I live in Italy. I’m not torturing myself.
Another thing I do, and this comes from my mother, is I sleep like this [mimes totally still, on her back, corpse pose]. You don’t want to wrinkle.
The other things are quite obvious. I drink a lot of water, I like hot water and lemon to clear the skin. Don’t smoke, and I don’t drink alcohol at all. I’m 30 and I have not one wrinkle, so this is why. It’s all about being very delicate with your skin and treating your skin like it’s your best friend. I say to all the young models, who are there backstage with a cigarette: “Don’t smoke!” It kills, you know, it really kills. You see that girl in 10 years and she won’t still be working, you’re like: “Wow, she changed so much,” because she destroyed herself. Don’t party too much, don’t take drugs: you get the face you deserve.
I like to stretch, I think it’s very important for your body, so I do yoga and pilates, but I don’t like to go to the gym and work out. I don’t have that body type. Some girls, like Izabel Goulart, have that body and look great that way, but I treat it the same way as my skin; you have to be very delicate with your body. I don’t like to have muscles, but I also don’t like to be too skinny. Sometimes I notice I got too skinny, and even my skin will suffer - maybe if I’ve been working too much - but it’s about balance.
I’m really proud to say I turned 30, and I’m getting so many compliments now. I’m a woman and I took care of myself.
Requested anonymously: A one shot where the reader has never been able to orgasm through masturbation. When Dean finds out, he offers to help.
Warning: smut, masturbation
Word Count: 2300
A/N: Hope you enjoy, anon! XOXO
“Truth or truth?” Dean asks, grinning a little sideways in that way that lets you know he’s just the right amount of drunk.
Truth or truth is the game you play when you’re both feeling a little wound up, needing to blow off some steam. You’re too old for stupid dares and too nervous for dares that might actually make you touch each other, so you settle for sticking to truths. It never amounts to anything, but you both enjoy the sexy words said in the dark as you lie together on one bed, a bottle being passed between you, like you have a life and a personality outside of monsters.
Everywhere you touched me, a flower bloomed in your honor. You’ve wandered my body for so long, a garden grew just for you. It bloomed beautifully and willingly. Until you weren’t there to tend it. The roses no longer bloom. The daisies no longer sing. And the garden thirsts for your touch.
I am aching to bloom again.
Request: ‘’What do you think Grayson and Ethan would be like in bed, like in detail??? xxx‘’
A/N: I think that the twins most of the time would be really gentle and passionate buttt also could be really rough and lowkey kinky when having sex. Because let’s face it: they’re sex gods and just from looking at them I get really turned on, lol. BUT I do think that Ethan is more into kinky stuff and Grayson into more romantic sex ;) Hope you enjoy xx
↪ Lots and looots of sex
↪ Sexting before as a warm up ;)
↪ He would be dominant af, but sometimes sub as well
↪ Lazy morning sex
↪ Rarely slow and passionate sex and most of the time really rough and maybe even kinky?
↪ You stripping down for him and he licking his lips when you do
↪ He would be the KING of foreplay (I mean looook at those fingers)
↪ Teasing the freaking fuck out of you until you’re almost begging him to fuck you
↪ Running his lips over your panties and pulling at the waist
↪ His lips on every centimeter of your body
↪ You pressing your mouth against his shoulder to keep yourself from crying out his name
↪ Lots of making out, and kisses everywhere!
↪ HICKIES and love bites on very visible places on your skin
↪ ‘’E, I can’t go out like this’’
↪ ‘‘Sure you can, everyone will know that you’re mine’’
↪ Him grabbing hungrily your ass and squeezing your boobs
↪ Sex in public bathrooms if he’s feeling very horny or jealous when he saw other guys staring at you
↪ Sooo much moaning and panting
↪ Him smirking when you moan SUPER loud (which is like all the time)
↪ Low and deep groans from him (just imagine this omg)
↪ Sweaty and hot skin
↪ THIGH RIDING
↪ Hair pulling !!
↪ Eye contact (SO sexy)
↪ Lots of dirty talk
↪ ‘‘Eyes on me’‘
↪ ‘‘Be quiet, babygirl’‘
↪ ‘’Yeah, you like that huh?’’
↪ Eating you out like 24/7
↪ Him biting his lips when he sees you reaching your orgasm
↪ Him begging you to give him a blowjob
↪ Taking turns in pleasing each other
↪ Letting you know that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world
↪ Really intense orgasms
↪ Experimenting with different positions
↪ Soft whimpers
↪ Him grabbing your waist when you climb on top of him
↪ Him getting even more stimulated and loving it when you scream his name
↪ Him breathing heavily and unsteady into your neck
↪ Holding your hand when you cum (when you have really passionate sex)
↪ Sex like ALL the time when you’re spending time just at home
↪ Usually it would be pretty spontaneous but sometimes he would prepare some things and put lots of effort into making it special, like:
↪ Your favorite music playing in the background, dimmed lights, scented candles
↪ Most of the time he would be really gentle and careful but sometimes it would be really fast and rough
↪ Again: FOREPLAYYY! Foreplay would for sure include fingering, teasing and touching you everywhere (because let’s face it: Gray is really touchy)
↪ I just know that Gray would be very good at foreplay (I mean LOOK at those fingers and big hands oh my)
↪ Shaky hands when you reach your orgasm and him holding them
↪ Tracing your skin with his soft fingertips
↪ Slow movements
↪ ‘’Just fuck me already’’
↪ ‘’Patience, baby’’
↪ Every little thing you would argue about would get heated and lead to sex
↪ Also A LOT OF make up sex
↪ Him admiring your body and smiling when you undress yourself
↪ Complimenting you on your cute lingerie
↪ And him taking forever to pull it off
↪ ‘’Need some help?’’
↪ ‘’I will treat you like the queen you are’’
↪ Lots of making out and sweet kisses
↪ Giggling all the time
↪ ALWAYS asking if you’re comfortable since he’s worried that he would hurt you
↪ ‘‘Are you sure you’re okay? Do I need to slow down?’’
↪ Sex in his new car, sex in the shower, sex at the beach, sex in the bath, sex against the wall… Literally everywhere as long as you’re okay with it
↪ You grabbing his muscular arms when you reach your climax
↪ Him grunting when he’s thrusting into you
↪ Offering blowjobs as favours
↪ Him saying ‘Babe, tonight is all about you’ but like, every night
↪ Neck kisses and leaving hickies there also
↪ He would get ten times more horny when he sees you getting an orgasm while closing your eyes
↪ Him whispering ‘come for daddy’ when holding your legs apart
↪ Multiple orgasms a night since he knows your body so well and the things you like
↪ Cuddling and more soft kisses afterwards and limbs tangled in the sheets
↪ Him calling you baby/babygirl/princess/love/darling
↪ So much intercourse
↪ Eating you out like everytime you guys have sex
↪ And when he does you stroke your hands through his fluffy hair
↪ Lots of ‘i love you’s
↪ Bruises on your hips from his tight grip
↪ You falling asleep on top of him after the sex
↪ Him being completely fine with that and whispering sweet nothings into your ear and stroking your back
ok but one of the worst feelings is being touch starved
You want to touch, but it can’t be someone you don’t kinda trust, and you’re afraid to ask let alone do it because it fucking sucks when someone belittles your needs or thinks it’s silly, or worse, thinks it’s pathetic
like you’ve gone so so long without the touch you need that you are just desperate for it
but you feel stupid for asking, for needing it, so you usually don’t
which makes you need it more, because it’s like every day you don’t get nice touches the problem gets exponentially worse
and someone touching YOU is like heaven… but if you ask for that, it’s gonna nibble at your brain that it’s artificial, that they don’t really mean it, that they’re just humoring you
and it doesn’t get better in days or weeks or months, because it didn’t get that bad to begin with in days or weeks or months
and the literal WORST thing is someone scorning you for touching them, even though it’s perfectly within their rights to not want to be touched, it is just devastating to the psyche to have someone that you care about enough to want to touch get angry or disgusted or annoyed at you touching them
I just want kisses down my spine, on my forehead, someone nuzzling into me, someone hugging me so tight it’s hard to breathe, petting my hair, scratching my head, idly rubbing my back
I want to hold someone, hug them with all my strength, bury my face into their clothes and skin and hair, kiss someone all over, touch them everywhere and do it over and over, run my fingers through their hair, play with their hands and kiss their knuckles and the veins on their wrists
and it hurts, like, I get physically ill if I don’t get touch when I have those moments I desperately need it but feel too afraid to seek it
it doesn’t even really have to be sexual, or romantic
I just like touch.
And I haven’t had enough of it from the people I loved.
So now it’s kind of like a condition. Touch-starved.
Author: @dumbass-stilinski Rating: NSFW 18+ Pairing: Stiles/Isaac/Reader threesome Words: 3,907 AN: This took me forever to write I’m so mad about it but I hope ya’ll enjoy it. Thanks to @writing-obrien for proofreading and @celestial-writing for helping me with plot, as usual.
It wasn’t a secret that Stiles and Isaac weren’t exactly friends. They tolerated each other because of Scott, for the good of the pack. But Stiles thought Isaac was a snob, and Isaac found Stiles to be highly annoying. The only thing they had in common was their affections for you.
When other members catch you having sex in the shower
Anonymous asked : BTS reaction when he’s having privet sexy time ;) in the shower with Y\N and member walking in them ?? (make it long please)
Namjoon went to shower a few minutes ago when you decided to join him. With a soft smile, you quietly go through the corridor and open the bathroom’s door. Once the door is closed behind you, your eyes lands on Namjoon rinsing his hair. You smile at the sight of his long silhouette through the mist. You silently remove your clothes and open the shower’s door to slide inside. Namjoon slightly jumps as he turns around and opens his eyes wide as he sees you in front of him, smiling. « What are you doing? » You don’t answer, your smirk is enough to make him understand that you didn’t sneak in to share an innocent shower. You slip your hands against his wet chest, watching him pass a hand through his hair to clear his face. Namjoon smirks the moment you press your body against his, still caressing his chest and shoulders. You get on your tiptoes and kiss his neck, your lips running through his skin making him shiver at every touch. His arms curl around your waist, pressing you tighter against him. His hands goes down your ass as soon as you start sucking his skin to leave your mark. A slight stifled growl is heard in his throat and you feel something hardening against you. You smile, giving a last kiss to his neck before you look at Namjoon. His gaze is burning like fire, his dilated pupils making him look like his eyes are just two black holes. He takes your face with just one hand, firmly holding your jaw, his thumb rolling on your lower lip, giving you a dominant look that literally makes you wet. You moan, struggling with this painful tension between your bodies, and you cling to his shoulders. Namjoon lower his hand to grab your neck and puts his lips on yours in a chaste kiss. He wants to play with you but you are unable to hold yourself any longer. His eyes are too vicious for you to play along. You need him now and right away. You whine in a sigh against his mouth : « Touch me … » Namjoon looks at you for a few seconds with an intensity that almost makes your legs flinch. He starts to smile and pulls you against the shower’s wall, your skin slamming against the cold surface. You put your hands on the wall, a naughty smile on your mouth. Namjoon spanks you hard without a warning. You let out a little chuckle, quickly joined by Namjoon’s who hisses between his teeth as his big hand passes between your butt cheeks to grab your throbbing pussy. His boldness and dominance drives you crazy. You suggestively arch your back, your fingers clenching on themselves. Namjoon comes to spread your hair on the side to suck your neck, pulling your skin between his teeth to make you moan. You bite your lips with impatience when you hear a curse. You turn violently, realizing that this voice is not Namjoon’s voice. This is Yoongi’s voice. Namjoon startles and stands in front of you to hide your naked body, even if Yoongi is almost out, muttering « sorry ». Once you’re alone, you rest your head on the shower’s wall and groans with shame. Yoongi will never forget this moment of supreme embarrassment. How are you going to look at him in the eyes ? It’s so embarrassing that you just want to disappear… You frown when you don’t hear any reactions coming from your boyfriend. You’re about to turn around when you feel Namjoon’s hand around your throat, your back arched as he slides two fingers deep inside you.
It was an innocent idea. You just wanted to take an innocent little shower with your sweet boyfriend. You innocently wanted to wash his hair and play in the water with him. But when Tae saw the shower gel running between your breasts, Taehyung didn’t want to be innocent no more. He’s now against you, smirking, his hands wandering on your ass. You smile, knowing very well what he has in mind. Tae gently pushes you against the shower’s wall and begins to kiss your neck. Slowly, very slowly, his tongue rolls against your skin and his teeth sinks into your flesh. You groan softly, your fingers clenching on his waist. He sucks your sensitive skin, awakening the heat in your core. His other hand grabs one of your breast to squeeze it deliciously. His hands are magical and he intends to show it to you once again. His mouth leaves your neck to lick your earlobe. You’re shivering so much your legs can’t hold you anymore. Tae chuckles and passes his arm around your waist to hold you tight. You laugh softly, your forehead against his, and close your eyes when you feel his hand running through your body to end between your thighs. You sigh, your breathing mixed with Tae’s. His burning eyes observes each of your reactions as his fingers caresses you slowly, painfully slowly. They go everywhere, touching you where nobody touched you before. Taehyung slowly opens his mouth in a smirk as he rolls the tip of his fingers on your clit. He snorts as he watches your eyes roll behind your skull. Biting his tongue, he slightly increases the pressure while accelerating his movements. You firmly cling to his shoulder, your other hand shaking on his chest. You can tell how wet you are just by the way his fingers slips so easily. You’re soaking wet. You sigh and raise your trembling hand to slip it in his wet hair while you put your mouth on his neck, sucking his sensitive skin just the way he likes. Taehyung lets a slight grunt out, tightening his embrace around your waist. He begins to slide his two fingers towards your entrance, taking your breath away. Suddenly, the door opens, making you both gasp. You violently turn your head towards it and jump even more when you see Jimin’s face. Jimin startles and screams as he immediately hides his eyes behind his hands, bursting with laughter. Tae doesn’t move, his hand still between your thighs, his arm holding you firmly against him, his eyes riveted on Jimin who can’t stop laughing, embarrassed as fuck while he slams the door behind him on his way out. Through the door, he starts shouting (without ceasing to laugh, tho) « I’M SO SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALONE ! I DIDN’T SEE YOU, OKAY ? SORRY TAE ! SORRY Y/N ! ». This idiot simply just informed the entire dorm that you & Tae were doing dirty things in the shower. You sigh of exasperation and Taehyung finally turns his eyes towards you, smiling stupidly. Seeing his dumb face, you start laughing. He doesn’t take long to follow you, embarrassed but finding it too funny not to laugh.
When Jin tells you he’s going to take a shower, all the attention you have to your book fades away to focus on the charming prospect of joining your boyfriend in the shower. Your smile must be fairly explicit as Jin grins. « I don’t know what you’re thinking about but forget it. All the boys are in the dorm and you’re always too loud. » You’re dying to reply that it’s HIM that’s always too loud but you hold it back. You want him too much to spoil everything. You get closer while he takes some clean clothes and hug him from behind, your arms around his waist. Jin smiles but sighs, his head slightly swung back. « Jagi, it’s useless… There’s no way you’ll come with me, okay? » Ten minutes later, you press your hands against the shower wall, holding a long moan as Jin increases the rhythm of his thrusts. His fingers are deeply embedded in your hips, promising you more bruises than before. He slightly slows down to kiss your shoulder and neck, his jerky breath against your wet skin making you shiver. When Jin moves away to thrust deeper and rougher, you arch your back more, feeling the delicious sensation of your breasts moving and shaking with each of his thrusts. Jin holds back his moans which turn into light grunts. The pressure becomes higher in your lower stomach. You have more and more trouble to breath. When you open your mouth to tell Jin you’re gonna cum, you hear his whisper « I… I’m close, babe… » You bite your lips and grab his hand on your hip, showing him that you’re also close to your high. Jin is about to speed up when Namjoon’s voice is heard behind the door. « Jin Hyung ? I need to take my… » The door opens, Namjoon looks at you and jumps violently as Jin begin to scream. You also scream, frightened by Jin’ scream, and Namjoon gets even more scared. He bumps into the cabinet hanging on the wall and drops all its content. Everything is smashed on the ground in an impressive crash while Namjoon desperately tries to catch them before they fall. In vain, of course. It’s even worse when he breaks the cabinet’s door. You & Jin look at him with your eyes wide open, as if hiding yourselves had become less important than the eternal distress of the God of destruction. You even feel sorry for Joonie. Apparently, Jin doesn’t share your compassion and starts shouting : « YAH ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE ! » Namjoon covers his eyes with his hand and rushes his way out, constantly repeating « I’m so sorry. » Once out, you hear him saying that he’s sorry again but this brief moment of despair is spoiled by Jungkook’s silly laugh who just understood what happened and doesn’t hesitate to make fun of his Hyung.
You enter the bathroom to brush your teeth before going to sleep. Hoseok is showering but he doesn’t mind if you’re here. Your eyes stops on Hobi’s reflexion in the mirror. Through the fog, you only see his back and his cute ass, but it’s enough to wake the butterflies in your lower stomach. As you wipe your mouth with the towel, Hoseok turns around to get the water on his chest again. He doesn’t look at you, focusing on what he’s doing. You turn around too, biting your lips as the view gets even better. His glowing honey skin, his toned chest and arms, his beautiful hands with his long fingers, his strong thighs, his tasty tummy… And his fucking amazing cock, just right in front of your eyes. God damn, you’re horny as fuck. You bite your lips even more and take off your top. It’s only when you get rid of you your shorts that Hoseok finally looks at you. You smirk at his questioning look and continue to strip. « What are you doing ? » You throw your panties away and open the shower cabin. Hoseok finally smiles, his eyes going down on your body like it was the first time he saw you. He pulls you against him and strokes your neck, the water running down your body, just between your boobs. Hoseok looks at them with his lower lip between his teeth. Hoseok presses you against him and kisses you slowly, increasing the tension between your bodies. His hands goes up to your breasts, his thumbs rubbing your nipples to make you sigh against his mouth. You feel his hardness growing against your thigh and you smirk, feeling the tingles in your lower stomach. Hoseok is now caressing your boobs with his strong hands, making you rub your thighs one against the other. You break the kiss and, your mouth still against his mouth, you turn off the water. You bite his lower lip and slowly kneel in front of him. His hand never leaves your hair, a playful smile on his lips. Hoseok is more than ready for your mouth. You lick your lips at the view of his erected member dressed in front of your eyes. You put your hands on his waist and get closer to kiss the skin just below his belly button. Hoseok strokes your hair, a shiver running down his spine. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. Taehyung, his tired eyes almost closed, mumbles « I’m borrowing your tooth path, Hyung… » and gets in front of the mirror, ready to brush his teeth. You slowly straighten up, not knowing if you can even breath. Hoseok puts his arms around you and presses you against him, trying to hide your body, but mostly trying not to attract Tae’s attention. Obviously, you’re both suspicious as fuck. When Taehyung realizes he’s not hearing any water flowing, he looks at the shower cabin and opens his mouth, his eyes wide opens in shock. Nobody says a word, nobody makes a sound. Taehyung spits in the sink, his eyes still on you, then walks towards the door to get out of the bathroom. You don’t know how long you stay silent but Hoseok finally whispers « What the fuck just happened ? » You look at him, still a bit shocked by the fact that Tae just saw you naked. With Hoseok. In the fucking shower.
When you see Yoongi’s amused smile when you ask him if you can join him in the shower, you have a hard time hiding your mischievous smile. As you quickly undress in the bathroom, Yoongi gives you a serious look. « We don’t have time to do stupid things & the kids are all here. So let’s keep it quick, fluffy and cute, okay ? » You don’t say anything and just nod innocently, unable to promise anything. He comes in first and you follow him closely, closing the cabin’s door behind you. Yoongi takes the shower head and runs the warm water, starting to wet your shoulders as soon as it’s hot enough. You get closer to him, asking for a kiss that he offers you very willingly, his cute little smile making you melt. While he runs the water on him, you take the shower gel and the bath flower and start to lather everything. Yoongi turns around so you can wash his back. You giggle when you hear his little satisfied grunts and his little moves to show you where he wants you to go. Yoongi puts the shower head on his support and shivers when he feels the hot water slipping down his back. As you pass your hands over his shoulders and his arms, you lose yourself in the contemplation of his broad shoulders. You bite your lip, raising your eyes to look at his delicious neck. You press your body to his, your arms passing around his waist to hug him tight. You kiss his shoulder, licking the water’s drops that pearl on his skin. Yoongi sighs lightly, not realizing yet that you don’t intend to keep it cute. You stroke his chest, the moss flowing between your fingers, his wet skin slipping like silk. When you lower your hand and get closer to his cock, Yoongi startles and opens his mouth to protest. His words remain stuck in his throat when you begin to caress him gently. He’s not ready yet but you know how to get him horny in a few seconds. You lick his neck, moaning against his ear. Yoongi’s fingers clenches on your wrists, wanting to stop you and yet unable to do anything whenever your hands strokes him that way. It doesn’t take much time before his member gets fully erected, making you smirk against his shoulder. You bite him a bit harder than usual when you increase the pressure and begin to jerk him off, earning a long hiss from your boyfriend. « Stop… » You raise an eyebrow, slowing down the rhythm of your movements without releasing the pressure of your fingers around him. You whisper « What ? » against his ear before sliding your tongue along his neck and then his shoulder to finally kiss him just between his shoulder blades. You slide your hand to the tip of his member, spreading the precum so slowly that Yoongi groans. Your other hand grabs his balls while you ask again, a smirk on your lips : « What did you say, babe ? » Yoongi grips your wrist and lower his hand to mingle with your fingers. He whines « Faster » and you don’t waste time teasing him. You jerk him off fast and intensely, tearing soft moans from his pretty mouth. That’s when you hear the door open. You turn around, bodies still pressed to each other, seeing Jungkook who doesn’t stay more than three seconds in the bathroom, jumping as soon as he sees you. He closes the door behind him and shouts « Sorry, Suga Hyung ! » He stays in front of the door, his famous Jungshook face on. You’re so stunned that you don’t feel that Yoongi is turning around. You gasp when he make you arch your back with one hand while his leg pulls away yours. You cling to the wall, feeling his hands firmly grasping your hips. Yoongi thrusts softly but deeply, not seeming to be affected by Jungkook’s surprise visit.
You enter the bathroom, quickly pulls out your clothes and enters the shower, in need to feel the warm water running on your skin. You run the water and start to wash yourself, closing your eyes when you smell the the sweet peachy fragrance of your shower gel. Suddenly, you hear a light noise, like a fabric when it falls to the ground, and quickly turn back. Your scream is stifled by Jimin’s hand. He sticks to you, completely naked and hard as wood. He smiles mischievously, waiting for your heart to calm down a bit. Once he’s sure you’re not going to make a noise, he pulls out his hand and bites his lip, putting his hands in the bottom of your back, pressing you even more against him. The water falls between you two, just where your breasts rub against his chest. Jimin makes you step back a bit and kisses you sensually, a playful smile on his mouth. You love it when he’s in this mood but this time you can be caught at any time… Jimin knows it, but you low-key think he loves it. With a small smile, he leans down to grab your nipple between his teeth, snatching a sigh from you. You cling to his shoulders, your head leaning back, feeling your arousal warming your lower abdomen. Jimin kneels down and looks up at you as he kisses your belly. You hold back a moan, pressing your thighs against each other. He has vice in his eyes and he knows very well that it drives you crazy. You put your hand through his wet hair, watching him spread your thighs to have full access to your dripping core. Jimin grips your butt, almost a little too hard, but he knows that you like it. You grin while biting your lip, encouraging him to continue. Without leaving your eyes, Jimin shamelessly sticks out his tongue and passes it very slowly against your slit. His fucking smirk… You sigh and clench your fingers in his hair, already in need for him to eat you feverishly. But you know Jimin likes to make you dripping wet before he starts to do anything to you. For the first time, you are mistaken. Big time. Without warning, he spreads your folds with his skilled tongue stroke and grab your clit with his plumped lips. You let go a very salty curse, arching your back under the effect of this sudden pleasure. Jimin places your leg on his shoulder, giving him a royal access to your burning pussy. His face disappears between your thighs to devour you like crazy, moaning as if you were the best dessert in the world. You have to press your hand against your mouth, tears rising to your eyes. What he does to you is not human. His tongue keeps constant pressure, causing waves of thrilling throughout your body, almost becoming vibrations that take your breath away. You moan louder, unable to hold you back, and then sees Jin enter the bathroom. You shout, much more louder, which makes Jin screams. He sees you two in the shower and starts screaming louder before slamming the door as he gets out. Jimin hides his face against your thigh, feeling more ashamed than ever. He begins to whine « Oh my God… Jin-Hyung saw us… » You stroke his hair, still in shock, but mostly frustrated. Jimin looks up at you as if he had read your thoughts and gently asks, his mischievous smile rising on his lips « Are you frustrated, Jagi ?» You don’t answer, knowing well that he knows the answer. In the end, it amuses him and makes him forget his shame to have been caught by his Hyung. He giggles and rolls his tongue against your clit, ready to make you cum in his mouth.
Even when the water begins to flow on your skin, you have a hard time emerging from sleep. Your eyes close on their own and you can’t concentrate very well on what you’re doing. You wet your face which wakes you a little more. You even start to softly sing as you wash yourself. As you rinse, you hear your boyfriend’ sleepy voice : « Y/N ? ». You call him quietly and smile when you see him close the door behind him. He remains motionless to look at you thought his mid-close eyes, arms along his body, his cute messy hair making you melt. You know he hates to wake up with you not being next to him, but you have a very important meeting and you didn’t want to wake up this little cutie. You don’t have time to tell him that you’re almost done, Jungkook begins to undress. You laugh as you watch him joins you, his eyes barely more open than before. You open your arms to pass them around his neck and smile when Jungkook sticks to you, his arms around your waist. He lets out a cute moan when the warm water flows against his back. You lay a series of kisses on his neck and shoulder, gathering satisfied grunts from him. You fingers wanders on his muscular body, enjoying the warmness of his skin. You feel his morning wood against your bare skin and smirk, getting kinda turned on. It’s crazy how this boy can get you horny, even when he hasn’t even fully woke up. Slowly, one of your hands goes down to grab his cock while you whisper in his ear : « Hello, baby boy… ». Jungkook chuckles so softly it’s like a breath and hisses when your fingers begin to slide on his length. Without you expecting it, Jungkook raises you up like a feather and thrusts into you so easily you gasp. You can’t hold a long moan against his ear, your legs wrapping around his waist. Jungkook rests his head on the crook of your neck, holding you firmly against him as he slowly fucks you. You don’t know where this morning strength comes from, but you couldn’t care less. You stroke his hair, moaning against his ear, just the way he likes it. Suddenly, you hear a strange noise, like someone choked, and you turn slowly. You barely have time to see Hoseok, with his hand on his heart and his messy hair, rushing out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. You grin and turn your gaze towards Jungkook who doesn’t seems to understand. « W-Whaaat…? » When you tell him that Hoseok has just caught you two fucking, he hides his head in your neck and whines : « Hyung will never forget it… Never… »
“Cause of death,” you whispered to Natasha, making her snort.
You took another bite of your cereal and watched Bucky walk over to the refrigerator. He opened the door and reached in, grabbing a water. You and Nat both barely held in groans when he tipped it back and took long pulls from the bottle, the muscles in his throat working vigorously.
He had been down in the gym with Steve. He hadn’t hit the shower yet so his chest was gloriously bare, sweat still clinging to his skin. The gray gym shorts he was wearing were hanging low on his hips, a peak of his black underwear visible. The sweat on his legs were making his shorts stick to his thighs.
That is the cause of death you had been referring to.
When you had entered the gym a half an hour ago to retrieve your hairbrush that you left in the shower room, Bucky had been doing squats. You had frozen in place as you watched the muscles in his back bunch with every movement. His shorts had stretched tight across his firm ass and had ridden halfway up his thighs. The muscles were straining as he bent deep, the weights on the barbell across his shoulders staying parallel.
Summary: This is my first entry for @bucky-plums-barnes “100 banging kinks for Bucky’s birthday” Reader gets bored while they watch a movie.
Word Count: 1,078
Warnings: Smut, Language, Spider Walking (kink)
A/N: Spider Walking is great and very underrated. It’s driving someone insane by touching them with the pads of your fingers, sort of like a fly walking up your arm. No actual skin contact, just fleeting caresses. Hope you like it, my loves!
You and Bucky lay in bed, his attention focused on the screen
of your laptop, his eyes following the movements of the characters in his
favourite film. It was a European film, lots of smoking and swearing, and you
grew tired of it after a few minutes. Needing to distract yourself, you started
mapping his veiny forearm with the pad of your index.
The arm around your waist squeezed gently. “Are you bored?”
His voice startled you and your fingers stropped tracing
patterns on his arm. You tilted your head up to look up at him, your lips
turned up in a shy smile.
“A bit,” you admitted, laying your head back on his chest.
“Was that annoying?” You slid your fingertips slowly along his forearm so he’d
know what you were referring to.
A soft laugh bubbled past his lips. “Not at all. Actually,
it’s very soothing.”
Warning : English is not my mother tongue so please forgive all my lacks of conjugation / spelling mistakes. Thank you ♡
« I’m going to bed… » Taehyung gets up and waves to you before going to his room. You wish him good night and huddle up to Yoongi’s arm, enjoying the warmness of your best friend’s body. You’re alone with him in the living room and it’s getting pretty late. You had a great night with your friends like always, and now everybody’s asleep. Yoongi reaches for his phone and choose a random song to play on the speakers.
« No, not this song… », you sigh.
Yoongi hisses : « Such a pain in the ass… »
You bite his arm which makes him groan. Yoongi hisses and firmly squeezes your thigh. You whine and move away to get rid of his hand but Yoongi puts his arm around your folded leg which gives him better balance as he searches for another song. You don’t have the energy to fight him so you let it go, putting your head on his shoulder and watching his phone’ screen. You smile when Yoongi puts Offonoff’s new album and you squeeze his arm, whispering « My favorite… ». Yoongi’s head leans back on the sofa as he whispers back « I know… » and he smiles when he hears your little laugh. You watch him close his eyes, his lips moving with the lyrics, his hand nonchalantly releasing the pressure on your leg.
Your eyes slowly goes down. You can see the beat of his heart pulsing on his neck. His pale skin looks really smooth down here. As you gulp, you lost yourself in the contemplation of your best friend’s beauty, your heart beating faster than usual. You want to look away, you try to look away, but your eyes are stuck. You stare at his neck, feeling a strange heat growing between your thighs.
you see these caterpillars? do not touch them! they are called pine precessionary caterpillars, and they have very sharp, toxic barbs that cause a painful rash if touched. they can even cause anaphylactic shock in some people. spring is their time to form their little weird death trains where they march around like spartan soldiers and weave fucking WEBS
Pairing: Jon Snow x Daenerys Targaryen Summary: The morning after boatsex. (Can be read as a follow-up to this drabble.) Written for Jonerys Week, Day 5: Smut. Rating: Explicit
Word count: 6,079 (yikes sorry)
A soft knock on the cabin door roused Jon from a surprisingly restful sleep. He remembered where he was when the weight compressing his chest lightened as Daenerys lifted her head, also awakened by the sound. Even half-asleep, Jon’s battle instincts stirred, honed by too many nights of sleep sacrificed while on watch, wary of an ambush. He shifted underneath her, ready to lunge off the bed for his clothes and a sword that wasn’t there, but he stilled at the touch of her fingers on his shoulder. Stay, they said.
“Come back later,” the queen called to her visitor. Her voice was thick with sleep and honeyed by an easy contentment he’d never heard from her before.
A moment passed, then, “Of course, your grace.”
Missandei. Was that laughter he heard in the Naathi woman’s voice? Jon told himself he was being paranoid. Still, he only relaxed down into the featherbed when it became apparent that Missandei wasn’t going to enter—and that Daenerys had no intention of moving, either.
Without looking at him, she laid her head down on his chest, where it’d been resting all night, apparently. Jon remembered holding her against him, just like this, after they’d lain together. Their light, aimless conversation—for once not fraught with talk of politics and battle strategy and the dead—had waned at some point in the night, and they must have drifted off to sleep. He was warm beneath her, the two of them cocooned in silk sheets and fur.
Actually, he was sweltering. Her bare skin was sticky-hot everywhere it touched his. For Jon, someone used to the frigid nights of the North, he couldn’t recall a single morning during his time on the Night’s Watch where he hadn’t awoken with limbs nearly frozen stiff. Only on the nights he’d curled up with Ghost had he’d been close to this warm, and even then, the direwolf’s body heat didn’t compare to the warmth radiating from Daenerys now.
How hot did the Dragon Queen’s blood run, he wondered.