Pain. A lot of pain was all I could feel at that moment. I
was also feeling cramped and my head hurt. Oh yeah, the headache was probably
because of the alcohol I consumed last night. I didn’t want to drink that much
but Roy was trying to get me drunk yesterday or something. Man he doesn’t give
The cramped feeling, I pleasantly realized was because of
Dan spooning me. I smiled as I realized that he was holding me tighter than
usual. I usually stop myself from showing too much affection as there’s a
chance that I might do something that is a little outside the ‘friends with
benefits’ or whatever deal we were in.
I tried not to move
much and relish in but too soon Dan began to shuffle a little. I expected him
to push himself away but surprisingly he tucked himself even closer and pecked
the back of my head.
My breath hitched and I involuntarily shuddered.
“Morning” Dan said in my hair in his morning voice which is
one of my turn ons. Speaking of which I noticed I had a bit of problem down there. It is useless to expect it to go
away when your crush is spooning you way too tightly and talking about something
in the sexiest voice.
“… way too drunk to know what you were on about.” I heard
Dan say and that pretty much made me forget about my boner.
“What was I on about?” I was terrified. I turned around to
look at his face which had an expression I couldn’t interpret. That made me
“You don’t remember anything you did last night or said
even?” He said giving me a calculating look which scared me more.
“No” I answered timidly and I swallowed. I sadly realized
far too late that I was making my fear too obvious and Dan suddenly looked a
little amused. “Don’t be so scared, it’s not a big deal. Actually it flattered
Please say my stupid drunk self did not confess any sort of
feeling to him, though the odds did not look at my side right then. “What did I
say to flatter you?” I asked trying my best to sound calm.
“That all the ‘best sex’ you have had were with me” he
Okay great, I can shrug that off as no big deal. Literally Thanks
to all deities of all religions I did not say anything more reckless. I let out
a breath that I didn’t know I was holding and the amused expression was back on
As my heart was no
longer on a verge of a stroke, I became aware of my boner (which was pretty
much gone down after that) and my intense hangover.
I really wanted some of our usual morning sex, but my head
was killing me. I screwed my face and massaged my temples. I realized Dan was
still holding me close to his body and hello! I wasn’t the only one excited
here. Fuck my head I want him (this is what I always say before having sex with
my best friend).
I opened my eyes; he
was back looking at me like he was figuring something out or making a decision.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing” he replied smiling a little but continued look at
me unusually making me self conscious but I was too gone to think about it
“Anyway since we both
are not that innocent right now,” I said rolling over him, “let’s just…” and I
started kissing him.
It is always like that with us. Most days Dan, for some
reason, is all over me at night, and it is not my fault that I give in against
my better judgement. I don’t even offer any protest and usually just dive right
in. I know that what we are doing is unhealthy for our friendship because we
never talk about it. I am scared that if we talk our logic will win over and
deprive me of Dan, and yeah even though it’s just sex (for him), it is what
satisfies my need for intimacy with him.
I am hopelessly, unrequitedly in love with Dan and when the
person you are sleeping with is most important thing to your existence, you
become a bit clingy, at least I do. So in mornings, when we wake up in same bed
and Dan’s body starts moving away from me when he wakes up, I become desperate
to hold onto him, and I can only do that effectively by seducing him.
That’s what I am doing right now; usually just straddling
him and kissing him hard does it but today Dan was not reciprocating my kiss
with lust; He was barely kissing me back.
“Supp?” I asked. Did I do something wrong?
“I am sorry Phil; I don’t think I am up for it right now. I
am bone tired” he lied from beneath me. He wasn’t tired; or even if he was he
wouldn’t have denied sex. This is first time either of us had said no to sex.
“Don’t look so shocked. It’s your entire fault. You had me
worried a lot yesterday by switching your phone off and being late” he told
casually. I knew him too well too know that there was something more to it and
that he is up to something or… onto something?
I rolled over and got off the bed. I spent most of my time yesterday
getting away from Roy and ended up hiding in one of the spare bedrooms (I am
cool like that). It was already occupied but the couple was out cold and
thankfully covered under the blankets. I did not want to stay there like a perv
but Roy was drunk and had tried kissing me already.
I had gone there to relax a little, away from the heartache
that I am always subconsciously aware whenever I am with Dan, which is always.
Lucky for me, the backup stock of vodka and pepsi where kept in the same room.
I plugged in my earphones and drank away my pain into bliss and woke up in
sweet warm arms.
The day went on as usual with tumblr, youtube and twitter
for both of us. The unusual part was Dan making a mysterious phone call (he
never left the room for privacy for a call when it was just me there)and in the
evening telling me to get dressed because he wanted to try this new place he
found online for dinner (he’s a lazy fuck, he would much rather order a pizza).
So we took the tube to Green Park and walked for a few
minutes till we reached two oak doors. Once inside, we were greeted by a freaking
Maitre D and turned out that Dan had booked a table and everything. Why was Dan
suddenly craving some fancy dining experience?
When we were sited at our table, I noticed that this place
was fancy but also really geeky. Pokemon chairs, totoro print tablecloths and a
many figurines and plushies of anime characters. Even the menu was anime
themed. Dan was looking at me while I was taking in how awesome this place was.
“I now understand why you got your lazy butt up for a dinner”
I grinned at that dork.
He grinned cutely and told me to shut up. “Do you like it?”
“It’s now one of my favorite places to eat even though I
have not tasted anything yet.” His lips curled up slightly more at that. I got
a feeling that he wanted to bring me here. I realized our table was sort of isolated
from rest of the dining area by a giant pillar. Did the restaurant think that
we were on a date when Dan booked a table for two? I turned red at that and
hoped Dan doesn’t notice this and gets put off by it.
He was still looking at my face when I glanced at him; he
then looked away freaking blushed. Okay, what is up with him? He is behaving
like we are on a date or something. For a third person, I agree, things must be
looking pretty cozy. That made me some more red.
We were served our food (Thank god for a distraction from
that glancing-at-each-other-turning-away-a bit-redder). I had ordered the Colossal
Titan’s head made out of noodles and rice.
Halfway in our meal, the Maitre D, who I found out was also
the owner, came to ask us how were things; (I definitely wanted to come back,
with Dan, preferably on an actual date. Okay I was getting ahead) but before he
left I saw him giving a pointy look to Dan and then Dan returning it. He then went
away smirking. Was… was that piece of shit waiter flirting with Dan? I suddenly
had an urge to call him back and tell him that his place felt repulsive and was
too lame to be real.
I drank some water and suddenly Interrupted by Fireworks started
to play. Bloody hell, this song is kind of special to us. ‘It would have been ‘our’
song if we were couple’ Dan had once joked. When we first had sex, I had played
this song on repeat on my phone to create the ‘atmosphere’. Actually I was then
trying to hint Dan that it was more than sex for me, which didn’t work like my
many failed attempt in later years.
Dan cleared his throat getting my attention. “So umm Phil, I
was, well you were saying that, I mean yesterday when you got home, I
wanted to sleep with you, I mean not sleep, I mean ahh…!” He turned really red.
“Fuck I had written down what I wanted to say but…” he mumbled
and looked at me embarrassingly. My face showed that I was confused and waiting
for him to continue, although I had gotten nervous because Dan was weird today
and generally he was pretty articulate.
He sighed took out his phone, “it’s better if you see this”
he passed me his phone starting a video.
The video opened with Dan sitting on his bed looking incredibly
nervous, and what seemed as, I later realized, yesterday night.
“Hey, so Phil umm if you are watching this then that means I
have lost my balls and I am on plan B now and umm I am basically, I am trying
to say there, if I had not already… Fuck I hope you don’t see this.”
He sighed and looked in the camera intently for a moment and
then said, “I love you Phil, I have always had. I had a thing for you even
before you knew I existed and fuck I am, I am in love with you and I am saying
this only now because you admitted sort of right now that you have feeling… for
me that is. Fucking hell Phil, please say that wasn’t just some drunk talk and
that we could be more than, more than what we are now. That we could be real
The video ended and I got aware that I had forgotten to
breathe, tears almost built up and lip quivering. My face was never more
“You love me? For real?” I chocked out. “Yes” he said
looking visibly relieved at my emotional state that must have confirmed that it
wasn’t alcohol talking yesterday.
But there were many reasons for why this was too dreamy to
be true. I never asked him to be with me as I did not ever see any reasons for
him to settle for someone so ordinary like me.
“B-But w-why? How y-you…?” I managed before Dan cut me out, “when
you said you loved someone so wreaked like me I did not believe you either. I
less than three you too Phil, because…” he said that pulling his chair
beside me. He slide his arm around me pulling me closer, cupping my check
with his other hand, he said things that made that night the best night of my
A/N: Sorry this took so long, I wanted some kind of follow up and engineering sucks