So, when you miss someone, it’s natural to cuddle against something like a pillow or blanket or something while you sleep. Now, apply that to when you’re trying to relive a memory if cuddling/spooning with someone. If you’re the big spoon, that works. You can hug and protect that pillow or whatever just like you would a person. Just wrap your arms and/or legs around it and you’re set. But if you’re the little spoon, what do you do? You can’t really wrap a pillow or blanket around you and get the same effect. For the last couple of nights I’ve been dealing with this. One of my favorite moments from when Rob was on leave was when we finally got the room to ourselves and no one was home so we could cuddle in peace. That feeling of his arms wrapped around me, holding me as close as he could, keeping me safe and warm, was the most amazing feeling I’ve had in ages, possibly ever. I could feel just how much he loves me and how much he missed me. And to feel that way again is all I want right now but I know I can’t because he’s not here and there’s no way to recreate that little spoon feeling when you’re sleeping or trying to sleep.
I’m so happy right now. I got a phone call from the boy while he’s at boot camp. I didn’t recognize his voice at first; that was awkward. I love him so much. 59 more days and I’ll be back in his embrace