totally swank

but a benny/courier with a mentally unstable, more evil karma courier

like the courier solves a hostage situation by just shooting the hostages when the ncr won’t hurry up

the courier tortures vulpes for info on the next legion attack

the courier straight up admitting to cannibalizing people

the courier just slaughtering her way through the mojave while benny is uncomfortably aroused

benny totally gushes to swank about how beautiful she is covered and blood and holding a knife to his throat, swank is wondering when his life went wrong

arcade lending benny a “psychopath to human” translation guide he wrote while travelling with the courier

benny totally asks swank for advice about gifts for the courier when the usual shit doesn’t work, swank shrugs and tells him body parts (and then freaks the fuck out when that’s what works)

“Though his tomb has not yet been excavated, it is said to be a totally swank underground palace.”

that’s a sentence in a passage on the california standardized test i took today. the test asked what the best word to replace “totally swank” was. i don’t know what swank means so i had to guess. they should’ve used, like “swag” or something. nobody even says “swank”.

anonymous asked:

Bug bites! and soothing and Darcy/Steve or Darcy/Bucky...I really hate bug bites, btws.

“Which do you want? Calamine or aloe?” Darcy holds up two bottles. Steve’s a little more familiar with the calamine, and he holds out his hand for the pink bottle. “Oh don’t be ridiculous, Steve, you got bit everywhere, even you can’t reach your back. Why didn’t you have the doctors do this?”

“It didn’t seem so bad a  couple of hours ago,” Steve says, “I didn’t think I really needed anything, should have healed up real quick.”

“Was that after the mutant bugs ate your shirt and started in on your skin?” Darcy blinks as she looks over the sheer expanse of Steve’s back and every one of the raised red marks, “Lie down on your stomach.”

Steve does, lies down on on her tile floor, pulling his white t shirt over his head, and Darcy takes a breath and just a moment to appreciate that Steve came here for this, when he could have gone anywhere. Anyone in the tower would gladly get their hands on Steve. “Jesus,” Darcy exhales, because his back looks torn up, “You’ve been scratching up a storm, haven’t you? That’s why it won’t heal, you just keep reopening the scabs.”

His skin his hot, his skin is paler than she thought, she wants to touch his skin with something more than just clinical appreciation. She sets to work, dotting every bite with the pale pink lotion. But there’s something bubbling inside of her and when he sighs when her fingers graze over an unbitten part of his shoulder, she has to ask, “So come to me? It can’t be my totally swank tile floor. Everyone has that.”

Some muscle or another tightens and relaxes, “If I say you were the first person that came to mind when I thought of who I wanted to touch me, would that be appropriate?”

Darcy lays her hand flat on his back, “Totally appropriate. How about I finish this part up and then we can talk before you turn over?”

“Probably a very good idea,” and Darcy can see his smile from here.