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Rumors always said that the members of Led Zeppellin sold their souls for all of their success, it’s the reason we all supposedly know the names John Bonham, Jimmy Page, and Robert Plant. Supposedly John Paul Jones, their bassist, refused. Keeping his soul and giving up the full extent of fame offered to his bandmates. This is a misconception though, speaking to Rolling Stone in 2006, John Paul Jones clarified:
“This rumor that they all sold their souls but I didn’t is complete bullocks. I sold my souls there with the rest of them, but I was fucked out of my gourd on psychedelics and accidentally signed on a contract to make Celine Dion famous. Worst goddamn mistake of my life. I’ve spent the last forty years literally in hell 12 hours a night, and all I got out of it was that song from fucking Titanic”

[Totally Confirmed] Luhan contacted EXO to glean more information on the Xiuhani rumors.
  • Luhan: Is Xiumin there?
  • Suho: Nope. He's out. What's up? You contacting us about something speciallll?
  • Luhan: Yeah. I have something important to address.
  • Suho: Oh really? A special day perhaps? A day you wish you could be here for? Don't worry, I'll send you some cake.
  • Luhan: What are you talking about? I want to know if Minseok's dating Hani.
  • D.O: Why do you care? You have a girlfriend.
  • Baekhyun: Yeah, tell us about her. How far have you guys gone?
  • Luhan: Irrelevant. Can someone just answer my question?
  • Chanyeol: Hani and Xiumin would be cute together. They were flirting, weren't they?
  • Luhan: What's so great about Hani? Has Hani met Matt Damon? I doubt it! How good is Hani at soccer? She probably sucks!
  • Baekhyun: I played soccer with Exid once and they were actually pretty -
  • Luhan: Shut up literally no one in EXO even likes you
  • Baekhyun: :(
  • D.O: That's not true.
  • Baekhyun: You like me, don't you?
  • D.O: But Chanyeol probably does. He indiscriminately loves everyone. Even serial killers.
  • Chanyeol: I think serial killers just need more hugs
  • Baekhyun: Wow
  • Luhan: Okay, well, can you guys keep tabs on the Hani situation and nip it in the bud? Yixing, you're my best friend. You can do that, right?
  • Lay: I also like you, Baekhyun.
  • Luhan: Suho?
  • Suho: You forgot my birthday. It's my birthday. "Happy Birthday, Suho!" Thanks Suho!
[Totally Confirmed Submission] After studying Shoujo Manga for the last few days Luhan decided that his only recourse to his dating rumors involved flying Xiumin to Beijing where he would greet him amidst showering rose petals at the airport- where surely Minseok’s eyes will sparkle and soft music will play as a love confession becomes automatic. Laogao reportedly has attempted to explain to Luhan that he isn’t really a shoujo manga character come to life and quote “Xiumin isn’t coming to Beijing because he is too busy solving murder mysteries on Crime Scene.” After hearing of the show Crime Scene (which he previously thought was just a really hot cf Xiumin was in), Luhan is carefully planning how he can lure Xiumin to China with a “low budget but enticing blend of mystery, intrigue, and mayhem ending in a make out scene AND DID HE TOUCH THAT GIRL ON THAT SHOW?!” No word yet on how he plans to accomplish this task.

Source: 소녀 만화

[Totally Confirmed Submission] After news of Luhan’s dating scandal broke, Xiumin has spent the last day drinking heavily. While staggering out of his room in search of snacks to “take the edge off” Xiumin was stopped by Baekhyun, who dragged him towards his laptop for a surprise skype session with Jersey Shore star The Situation. Our reporter informs us that Baekhyun had convinced The Situation that he was in fact dating Xiumin – because it had to be true, only a hot bod like that could score Xiumin- to which The Situation responded with confusion and then utter joy at finding a man nearly as ab-tastic as himself. Reportedly their skype conversation went as follows:

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[TOTALLY CONFIRMED] After hearing that Chen would not date him if Chen were a girl as Jongin is “too mischievous”, Jongin’s identity crisis returned. He couldn’t remember getting up to any mischief, and concluded that he must have a multiple personality that was causing trouble without him realising. As a result, he finally relented and agreed to Chanyeol’s repeated requests to film Jongin 24/7 “for science” and “to help him out”. When questioned by Chen, Chanyeol vehemently denied that the filming project had anything to do with him wanting to creepily watch his idol Jongin sleep. Tao however, came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a multiple personality but rather that Jongin is being haunted by a mischievous ghost, and as a result is refusing to spend any time with Jongin at all. Chen was reportedly heard laughing his ass off at the situation, until he spotted a furious Kyungsoo headed in his direction. Chen was later spotted looking repentant and sporting a large bruise on his arm.

source: 귀신 

[Totally Confirmed] Lay and Sehun decided to add Luhan to the Kakaotalk chat for their prayer group.
  • Lay: Welcome to the chat, Luhan.
  • Luhan: why did you add me
  • Sehun: We think you need G-d
  • Luhan: why do i need g-dragon i love xiumin
  • Lay: He means you need God
  • Luhan: then why the hell did he write it like that
  • Lay: Please don't swear. We understand that you might have some anger to work through.
  • Luhan: i just want xiumin to forgive me
  • Sehun: Well, for the record, I forgive you
  • Luhan: what do you want a gold star or something
  • Lay: Luhan, these outbursts are only causing you more stress. God loves you, and so do we. There's no need to keep your walls up around us
  • Luhan: i just dont know what sehun needs to forgive me for
  • Sehun: For breaking my heart
  • Luhan: i dont know or care what youre talking about can we talk about xiumin
  • Lay: Sure. What does Xiumin need to forgive you for?
  • Luhan: i got a girlfriend when i was already dating him
  • Lay: Why did you do that?
  • Luhan: because she was my dream girl! you cant let your dream girl slip away!
  • Sehun: I can understand that
  • Luhan: thank you sehun!!
  • Lay: Sometimes, though it is hard, we have to fight against our natural instincts to protect those we care about.
  • Luhan: yeah...
  • Luhan: hey so are you and chen fucking yet
  • Lay: Please do not swear
[Totally Confirmed Submission] When asked about his opinions and feelings towards the Luhan dating scandal, Minseok said that he’s not really affected by the scandal. When asked why Minseok replied “I’m making it my own personal goal to show Luhan what he’s missing and make his life a living hell.” Sources tell us that he has sent Luhan dozens of pictures of him shirtless with different guys. One of the pictures is rumored to be Minseok shirtless while pouring water into a glass with the caption that says “Thirsty?” Luhan has yet to make an official statement about those pictures.

Source: 목말라요

Guys can we all just settle down with this whole Reagan is leaving the show and hating on Karma shit? why cant we all just ship who we wanna ship and let the show play out how it does? like we have only seen one tiny piece of script or whatever from the show and already ppl are losing their shit. Can we all please get on and just hate Liam like normal?

[Totally Confirmed Submission]
  • Siwon: Now that we are all in agreement that you have a problem and Baekhyun’s hands are demon tools, I would like you to admit that you are sorry, sorry that you have been drinking too much.
  • Entire room:
  • Sehun: Sorry, sorry Dr. Intelligence.
  • Siwon: Thanks little one. Okay, Xiumin can we take your word for it that you won’t drink anymore?
  • *Door bursts open, followed by a poorly set off smoke bomb that barely conceals the entrance*
  • Luhan: Hey sexy, you wanna get a drink with me?
  • Tao: The dorm ghost!
  • Suho: Hey Luhan.
  • Baekhyun: GDI
  • Suho: What did I say about text speak!
  • Xiumin: GDI
  • Siwon: The bible also says that lawsuits against entertainment companies are like throwing the first stone. Which is wrong. Stoners are wrong. Like Carrot Top or that one guy from that Saturday Night show.
  • Suho: Do you even know what a stoner is?
  • Siwon: A stone thrower, which as I explained is very wrong and bad behavior in general. Now say sorry, sorry.
  • Sehun: Sorry sorry Dr. Intelligence.
  • Siwon: Thank you kind middle schooler.
  • Xiumin: I thought they revoked your passport since you have been soooo busy with your flowers and your singing and your…
  • Luhan: *recites entire lyrics of Boyz II Men Down on Bended knee while holding coffee and crying*
  • Minseok: I…
  • Baekhyun: Hey Suho….whatcha doin’ tonight?
  • Suho: GDI
[Totally Confirmed Submission] Xiumin, now embroiled in an international scandal with The Jersey Shore star The Situation, has gracefully addressed rumors through an impromptu press conference. Speaking to reporters Xiumin said  “If you think I –“ The press conference was apparently cancelled due to a freak storm of soccer balls, none of which were kicked by an angry Chinese man shouting “My precious” while clasping a Xiumin photo card.

Source: 진정한 사랑b

[Totally Confirmed Submission] Upon hearing of Xiumin's application to have D.O's phone number, Luhan has allegedly been sending D.O multiple death threats via kakaotalk. After 5 hours, D.O was said to have replied with a Baekhyun emoticon that he may or may not have saved as a favourite on his keyboard. The informant is unable to confirm Luhan's reply but claims to have heard Luhan muttering "hashtagSayNoToXiubaek".

Source: 카톡

[Totally Confirmed Submission] Luhan, confused and distressed over his recent dating scandal, was last seen in the  shoujo manga area of a bookstore. His trip to the bookstore was reportedly prompted by a conversation he once had with Kai who firmly believes he is sometimes controlled by the illuminati, During the conversation Kai remarked “For all you know you are a actually a character from a shoujo manga brought to life by the illuminati”. Luhan, after hearing the sickingly sweet dating rumors around him, now believes this is true. Reportedly he is trying to figure out what the hero in a shoujo manga would do next, hoping it involves more Minseok and less of that “not manly flowery non Baozi-stuff”.

Source: 혼란 서점 점원

[Totally Confirmed] We finally have a complete list of what EXO gave Luhan for his birthday.
  • Sehun: A soccer ball and a manly electric razor with a note reading, "Sorry I called you a girl"
  • Kai: Cheap chapstick from Daiso, a lock of dog hair, and a half eaten bag of Doritos
  • Tao: An in-person visit, a Maserati (paid for with Suho's money), and a hug
  • D.O: An eerily chipper handmade card covered in sunshine and rainbows
  • Chanyeol: A face mask with a baozi on it
  • Chen: Help writing an apology letter to Xiumin (one week before Luhan's birthday)
  • Baekhyun: An unfinished copy of his artistic indie film "Baekhyun Makes Out with Xiumin's Abs". The DVD was reportedly incinerated seconds after being opened.
  • Lay: Two thousand dollars donated in Luhan's name to a cat shelter.
  • Suho: He actually paid for the Maserati, but he let Tao say it was half from him (since it was Tao's idea)
  • Kris: A little Luhan doll made out pipe cleaners and cotton balls.
  • Xiumin: Himself
[Totally Confirmed] Luhan had started an online petition for EXO to record and release “Call Me Baby” with it’s original lyrics (when it was titled “Call Me Daddy”). The petition states that it is more than acceptable for Xiumin to be the only one singing on the track.

Source: 아빠