Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger
(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)
9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster
Result: A swift and painful death
Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker
8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord
Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment
I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.
7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO
Result: Total annihilation + jail time
Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.
6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme
Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure
Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.
5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men
Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?
OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on. Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??
4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)
Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED
Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.
3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child
Result: Victory, but with a catch
Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.
2. Rika, the Antichrist
Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous
Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.
1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man
Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan
BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.
If trump does get impeached liberals are just gonna take it as a total victory and not even bother fighting pence cus it’s all just a performance for them. Like how they have that fuckin anti trump yoga shit in Portland like they’re just gonna see trump gone and that’s enough. Harry Potter and Voldemort and Hamilton and all that
Dean and Seamus have slytherin daughter(prefect) having a crush on a female hufflepuff prefect and being confused because she also has a crush on head boy teddy lupin. She accepts she’s bi and is too embarrassed to tell her dads because who wants to discuss their love life with their dads. So first year James Sirius Potter goes up to her when he finds her crying and says “did you know the boy who lived was also the bi who lived” she cracks a smile and finally works up the courage to tell her dads and of course they both are accepting
Update: when teddy and victorie started dating deamus’s daughter didn’t know who she was more jealous of
me clinging to your ceiling fan like a gargoyle: in “the gang saves the day,” we’re allowed a glimpse into mac’s mind and a vision of his ideal self, a world in which he is fearless and strong and mobile, able to handily take out row after row of opponents who would do harm to himself and his friends. however, even in his wildest dreams, he cannot grant himself a total victory. he takes a fatal wound to the neck. he falls; he bleeds out on the linoleum. and as he does, he imagines dennis holding him, chanting, “i can’t live without you,” chanting, “i love you.” all the while, mac says nothing, offers no reaction, chokes and sputters on his own blood until he perishes in dennis’s arms. dennis bursts into hysterical, vocal sobbing as mac ascends to heaven, where god has a seat waiting for him. even in this private, personal space, mac cannot allow himself to imagine happiness and romantic love with dennis. rather than spinning an elaborate fantasy like charlie’s, wherein he heroically saves dennis, kisses him, marries him, and rides off into the sunset, the most pleasure that he can allow himself is the thought of dennis holding him as he dies, and saying, “i love you.” mac doesn’t imagine himself reciprocating the sentiment, doesn’t say anything in response, doesn’t express any affection. as a reward for his restraint in this regard, he imagines heaven, imagines an enthusiastic welcome from god. here, as elsewhere in the western canon, mac falls back upon depictions of violence as a mechanism of plausible deniability of homosexuality; dennis can hold mac and say “i love you,” so long as mac is bleeding out as dennis says it, and so long as mac is too incapacitated to say “i love you” in return. mac, like so many others, has fully internalized the notion that there is no moral justification for him to build a happy, loving existence with another man. even as mac permits himself a glimpse of what that happiness might look like, he simultaneously imagines his own violent demise. to be queer is to live with the knowledge that the best of us - alan turing, harvey milk, oscar wilde, many more - made their names by dying. mac genuinely believes that bleeding to death in dennis’s arms, and hearing “i love you” but never repeating it, is the happiest ending available to him.
you: *hitting me with a broom* delete your blog! delete your blog
Playlist:♥♥♥ Name: Nat Sko’dal Occupation: Jedi Master, and teacher to some of the next generation’s Jedi Height: 5’8” Age: Physically, 50 (After the Galactic Civil War) Pronouns: They/Them Special Abilities: Nat has a cyborg eye where their blind eye once was. It’s not good for helping them see like a normal human eye, but it can detect temperature signatures and electromagnetic waves. They’ve also gained a prosthetic limb in place of their left arm. They had this arm specially built to store their lightsaber inside the forearm. Nat has a unique ability to see constant and absolute visions of the future rather than premonitions that can be changed or prevented, and sometimes they were able to see flashes of other people’s pasts. They could see visions for specific people if they came into physical contact with said person, as in holding their hand and such. This being said, while they may know much of what the future holds, they are helpless to change what fate has in store. So for everyone’s sake, they usually keep their thoughts and visions to themself. Personality: They are old and worn, seeming to be much more frail than how they should be at this age. They lack the energy they once had years ago, but they are still a skilled Jedi nonetheless. Their aura is kind and warm, but also faintly somber. They will joke around with their family often, doing their best to keep up everyone’s spirits, but they seem to be in pain.
Surviving The War and Onward: Through most of the Rebellion and Galactic Civil War, Nat’s group had gone mostly unnoticed by either side until the Inquisitors discovered that they were alive. For a while, they were constantly on the move again and did their best to keep a low profile, but word of their survival began to spread. While the Inquisitors were unable to defeat Nat and their group, their anonymity was no longer existent. It was then that they decided to officially join the rebellion as themself, not under any alias. They became a rebel faction stationed off in Dantooine, where their home/base of operations was at the time. They continued to be a teacher to Mel La’ari, their current Padawan. But they found themself also taking two former inquisitors who seeked redemption under their wing. With their long time friend Szarka, they taught these students in the ways of the Jedi. (Through a small training mishap, Mel accidentally managed to swipe Nat on the chin with his lightsaber. Nat was only slightly injured by this, but it was definitely time for a lesson in restraint.) It wasn’t uncommon for Nat to wander off on their own every now and then, following wherever their visions took them. But today, their visions brought them face to face with great danger. Instead of more inquisitors, they encountered Darth Vader himself. This was not their first run-in with the Sith Lord, they had faced him many times before, but they were alone this time. The battle was long and drawn out, seeming as if it would lack a victor, but Vader was persistent. He managed to cut off Nat’s left arm right at its base, nearly granting him total victory. But before he could deliver the final blow, Nat used the force to crush a vital part of Vader’s breathing apparatus, this granted them the opportunity to escape. They never encountered him again after that. Nat was fitted with a prosthetic arm, but something troubled them. A faint feeling of dread began to grow within them, they sensed something was terribly wrong. They kept quiet about their worries, but they decided they would no longer go on solo missions. The war was soon over, and with Luke Skywalker, Nat did what they could to help the next generation of Jedi grow. They kept their group of trainees mostly separated from Luke’s, however, feeling that was for the best since Nat had different methods of teaching.
Today, Nat still lives with their family of Jedi, old clones, and other trainees on Dantooine, now with a much larger and nicer home. But that feeling of dread still lingers in them, and it has not gone unnoticed.
Also, here is a zoomed in version of the pictures inside their metal arm, since it’s really hard to see on that ref-
Characters pictured here are (younger) Nat, Szarka (character by @averageprodigy), Kobe (character by @dapcat), Mel, Citro, Shae (character by @averageprodigy), and at the bottom are all of Nat’s clones: Blue, Smoky, Andy, Ice, Crow, and Bowie.
Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader, Dayton White x Reader
Summary: After a domestic dispute, Aileen Tucker and Richard White decided to separate taking one twin with them. Lance went with Aileen and Dayton went with Richard. Both raised how their parent wanted them to be: a successful gymnast and a famous NASCAR driver.
A/N: So..Team Lance or Team Dayton? Also, shy and nervous Lance is something I live for! Aaaawww!