adjust to being hateful. depressed. numb. a different breed of people.
adjust to being alone. not understood. not needing feelings/emotions.
adjust to not sleeping. not eating. not being sober.
and then there’s that stupid fucking day where i get happy and then i realize it’s not just a day, it’s a couple in a row and then i think “holy shit, i’m happy” so i’ll get all optimistic on life such as preparing for college, thinking who i’d want in my future, what ever just stupid shit i never had the energy to deal with before.
and then bam, i’m empty again. i’m not happy. i never will be. fuck off.