I had one of those moments a few days ago when I was trying to think of how to draw something that had been stuck in my head.
Suddenly, I realized I was all about getting better and making better pictures–for other people to enjoy…? Better anatomy, better colors, better backgrounds–Better, better, better–
When did this happen?
Better for whom?
I was no longer drawing because I enjoyed it, but instead I was just drawing because I know that at the very least I can draw something and people would at least have some semblance of what message I was trying to convey–and maybe even enjoy. I was trying very hard and putting a lot of effort–but I lost the heart of what I originally started and would get discouraged or tired of pieces so easily.
What was I doing…?
What happened to the linearts I would happily come back to hour after our, and day after day to just add on and continue onto huge pieces…? colors added not-so-perfectly to emphasize pieces, but not overwhelm them?
I apologize to anyone watching me for my future deviations–they may not be up to your expectations anymore…but I need to relearn how to enjoy my art again and not look at pieces with such hate and loathing for not being good enough. The pictures in my mind will always be years ahead of the skills I possess, and I truly wish I could let you all see what I see.
I know I have a long way to go art wise, but I want to enjoy the journey–not hate the road I’m traveling.
After all, artists try to achieve an unreachable goal–conveying every message with utmost perfection and feeling with a skill level that matches the images in our minds….. *chuckles* Though I suppose we’re all masochistic in a way, where we try to toil and claw our way to that goal anyways.
Always will it be dangled in front of us, forever out of our reach, but it is our determination and perseverance that makes us want to continue chasing it with that next step.