topic: me

Possible Night Vale spells

Glow Cloud spell for independence from others and/or recognition. ALL. HAIL. THE GLOW-

Intern Dana spell to contact someone you’ve not seen in a while/lost.

Sandstorm spell to find hidden aspects of yourself/exorcise your demons/put up a cabinet.

This is a spell about you. You were quite happy, because you always wanted to read about yourself in a spell.

Weather spell to act as an intermission between other spells.

Dog Park spell to keep things secret from other people or keep people out of things.

NVCR intern spells for ‘disposable’ purposes and spells with disposable ingredients.

Wheat and wheat by-product curses.

Strrrrrrrrrrrexcorp! spells to get what you want.

Pouláki’s Wheat, and Wheat By-Products, Spell 
To Get Rid of a Negative Presence in Your Life

What you need:

  • Wheat, or wheat by-products;
  • Snake-shaped items (eg. gummy worms, plastic toy snakes…);
  • Transparent/clear alcohol;
  • Sealable glass jar;
  • Waterproof photo of your target.

Instructions:

  1. Recite:
    “In other health news, [your name] reminds you to regularly consume wheat and wheat by-products. By doing so, you are directly supporting the local farmers, as well as the local commodities and conglomerates. Looking for a snack? Try wheat, or a wheat by-product. Dinner? Wheat and/or its by-product. Trying to patch a leaky roof? We have just the thing for you, and we also have its by-products. Wheat and wheat by-products. By you, for you, in you, watching you.”
  2. Put the wheat, or wheat by-products and the waterproof picture into the glass jar.
  3. Recite:
    An update on our previous message about wheat and wheat by-products. You should not eat wheat or wheat by-products, say several frantic [your career/something similar], waving clipboards in our [location]. As it turns out all wheat and wheat by-products, for unknown reasons, have turned into venomous snakes, which are crawling all over our small city, causing even more chaos than is normal. These snakes have been described as terrifying, loathsome, and ‘probably from the bowels of hell itself!’ — also, green and three feet long. Sorry about that.”
  4. Add the ‘snakes’ to the jar, pour the alcohol into the jar until it is full, and seal the lid.
  5. Put the jar somewhere you will never have to look at it.
  6. Recite:
    And finally, some good news. All wheat and wheat by-products have mysteriously vanished from [location], and [your name] promises that they will be gone forever. This scourge, this siege upon us, this salvo of food-based warfare is finally over. Nevermore will be we threatened in our homes by this enemy or its by-products.”

Disclaimer: I am new to this. To everything related to spells, at least in this life. I take no responsibility for any actions taken if you use this spell but as much research as possible has been done every step of the way. Also: I’d love to know if it’s of use to anyone. Please.

It makes me angry when people say my acne is a hygiene problem and because I wear make up because it’s not. It’s a hormone balance problem and it’s cystic and causes serve migraines, I sleep with my hair tied up, on a towel. I cleanse and tone every morning and night, I also eat clean mainly and whenever I wear make up (2/7 days a week at most) I put an antibiotic cream on first to act as a barrier as it kills bacteria and stops my glands from producing oil and absorbing it. It’s so infuriating.

HEY STILL IN JAMAICA WE WENT BOBSLEDDING TODAY AMONG OTHER THINGS BUT THIS WAS THE BEST YOU GO FAST AS SHIT DUDE I WAS LIKE NYOOOOOOM DOWN THAT SHIT AND MY FAVORITE HAT FLEW OFF I WAS PISSED BUT THEN THEY WENT TO FIND IT AND BROUGHT IT BACK I WAS LIKE FUCK THANKS BUT YEAH ITS PRETTY SICK HERE