ihavenoclueaboutlife  asked:

Is it weird that I wish for breast cancer so that, at least then, I wouldn't have breasts? I know it'll be years before I can afford surgery on my own and I'm dying.

from my own personal experience with top dysphoria, i know exactly where you’re coming from and its not weird at all to think that but it is bad to!! i know how hard it can be but wishing for cancer isnt very good mentally. just save up until you can afford it, i know you’ll make it x


The court hearing for my name & gender marker change is tomorrow (10/21/16) and I’ve decided to pay the fee to schedule top surgery on Mar. 8th, 2017 with Dr. Mosser in San Fran. Still have so much to do before I go to Chile but Things are sort of falling into place.

Things they don’t tell you about top surgery

- Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)

- Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks

- Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head. 

- Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself

- Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are

- Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time

- When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly. 

- Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.

- Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it. 

- The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy. 

i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better. 

Things To Do After Top Surgery

- Sleep shirtless

- Go for a run with no shirt on

- Grow chest hair

- Go to the beach only in board shorts

- Buy more douchey shirts

- Skinny dipping??

- Mow lawns with my guns out as well as my amazing pecks

- Get rid of these damn tan lines

- Actually go outside to tan

- Get a massage from a girl without feeling even more stressed

- Lay in front of a fan on a hot day in nothing but boxers

- Show off my six pack that I have yet to form

- Work out my upper body even more

- Just put a shirt on in the morning and go

- Shirtless selfies

- Be dysphoria free

- Feel comfortable in my own skin

a shoutout

to all my fat and curvy trans boys

whose binders still don’t make them anywhere close to flat

who are self concious because their chub makes them curvier

who can’t bind on a daily/regular basis

who are forced to joke about their chests because they can’t deal with it any other way

who won’t “pass” until top surgery

whose soft cheeks make their faces look more feminine

who consistently only see positive feedback on posts about skinny white trans boys who were able to “pass” a couple of months after starting on T (or before)

society will try to tell you otherwise but your trans-ness is no less valid than theirs. your curvy body is still a boys body, no matter how you wear it.

Click here to support Help Faolán get a revision for his botched top surgery!
My name is Faolán. On July 12th I finally had the top surgery I had worked so hard to get with a doctor out of Louisville, KY. He was my only option, as he was the only surgeon who took Medicaid and seemed to really know what he was doing. He had talked me into getting this "new" procedure which...


I just got off the phone with Dr. Garramone a little bit ago and he said that my surgeon has performed the WRONG SURGERY on me. Rather than do the regular double incision, he performed a surgery meant for WOMEN WHO WANT REDUCTION AND LIFT. On top of that, my nipples BOTH died, rather than the simple one nipple that I was told I had lost. 

I have absolutely been screwed over by my surgeon, but the good news is that Dr. Garramone says that he will 100% be able to correct this disaster. However, the cost is ASTRONOMICAL (about 11k including transportation and fees). I am going to be working my hardest to save up a 40-50% down payment and applying for Credit Care. The cost is higher than normal for my surgery because my entire chest has to be re-reconstructed and my areola complex has to be completely remade. This is not an easy surgery.

I AM looking into taking legal action against my surgeon, but it could take a while. I am going to have justice brought to me and all the others that he has wronged and I will make sure that he never performs on another man so long as he practices.

If you can read through this and share it with as many people as possible, I would be eternally grateful. If you donate, you have my undying love and may karma bring you everything you deserve in return (or may any higher being of your belief bless you with reward.)

Thank you! @scumbugg @transbrotherhood @transboys @transbutts

70 Reasons Why I Had Top Surgery (and dysphoria isn’t one of them!):
  1. To stop slouching
  2. To stand up tall
  3. To feel pride, rather than shame
  4. To stop worrying about my binder
  5. To save $$$
  6. To never buy binder or bra again
  7. To breathe without restriction
  8. To run freely
  9. To walk confidently
  10. To truly swim
  11. To never have to compress my entire torso again
  12. To escape the daily bounce
  13. To never again feel the flop
  14. To be free of boob sweat
  15. To alleviate my back discomfort
  16. To wear single layers
  17. To wear tanks without hanging out
  18. To not have to worry about squashing my chest
  19. To bear hug freely and fully
  20. To chest bump
  21. To prance about shirtless on the sidewalk
  22. To wear swim trunks without a top
  23. To take my shirt off freely
  24. To be more aerodynamic
  25. To minimize my risk of breast cancer
  26. To never again have swollen breasts as a result of hormonal fluctuations
  27. To never again experience spontaneous breast growth
  28. To wear form fitting tops
  29. To wear my backpack comfortably
  30. To not have the strap of my messenger bag emphasize my cleavage
  31. To be free of fungal infections induced by over-layering
  32. To drive around shirtless without getting arrested
  33. To get naked more often
  34. To be my authentic self
  35. To make my dreams a reality
  36. For physical comfort
  37. For self validation
  38. For tree climbing
  39. For paddling mobility
  40. For sleeping on my stomach
  41. To solidify the fact that I will not be breastfeeding
  42. To confirm my identity
  43. To feel comfortable in my skin
  44. To truly embrace myself
  45. To wear button downs unbuttoned
  46. To have my ties lay flat
  47. To not see a bulge when I look in the mirror
  48. To look in the mirror and smile
  49. To unbiasedly love my reflection
  50. To get back to my preferred chest size
  51. To not have to worry about bumping into things
  52. To wear seat belts comfortably
  53. To not be constantly conscious of my chest configuration
  54. To wear a bra only because I want to, not because I “need” to
  55. To comfortably wear a tux
  56. To fit into my clothes better
  57. To wear a wetsuit without chest bulge
  58. To not have excess weight physically weighing me down
  59. To sexually express myself more completely
  60. To obliterate my ability to lactate
  61. To never sag
  62. To remain active
  63. To feel comfortable in locker rooms
  64. To feel comfortable in communal showers
  65. To comfortably workout
  66. To yoga shirtlessly
  67. To continue living my life
  68. To not spend hours dressing myself
  69. To be able to wake up the morning and feel complete
  70. To be me
10 Tips for Recovering from Chest Surgery

I decided to compile some tips that I found helpful when recovering from chest surgery. I tried to think of things that aren’t are the average lists. 

1. Laxatives: Start taking laxatives 2 days before surgery and continue when you get home from surgery for about a week post op. 

2. Arnica: Start taking arnica tablets about a week before surgery and continue when you get home from surgery. Arnica helps reduce swelling and bruising. 

3. Pillows: If you have a recliner that is ideal but if you don’t then using a bunch of pillows to keep yourself propped up in bed is necessary. Also keep ones under your butt to help with back pain and under your elbows. 

4. Gravol: If you’re driving more than just a couple minutes you will probably feel really sick on your way back. Gravol helps keep the nausea down. Just double check with the nurse that it won’t interfere with any of your medication. 

5. Pill chart and alarms: It can be hard to remember when and what you took. My partner was great at having an alarm set on her phone and writing down what I took and when. 

6. Protein: Protein helps the body heal and helps keep you full which is really important especially if you can’t eat a lot after. Try making smoothies with protein powder and protein bars.

7. Deodorant Wipes: I found a pack of these in the travel section of the drug store and they were good because for over a week I wasn’t allowed to shower and it was horrible but this made it slightly less horrible.

8. Melatonin: For the first while the T3s helped me sleep but after I was off then I had a hard time getting comfortable since I don’t normally sleep on my back. Melatonin helped a lot with that. 

9. Avoid alcohol: Obviously, when you’re on pain meds you really can’t drink but I’ve seen a lot of people ask how long you should wait. Its recommended that after plastic surgery, especially something with grafts, you should avoid drinking for at least 4 weeks. This doens’t seem to be common knowledge among the community. 

10. Listen to your body and take it easy: It became a joke when I was recovering about “taking it easy” because my Mum said it to me a lot but she was right. Relax. Don’t push yourself. Don’t rush recovery. Just take it easy and listen to your body. 


These photos were taken 1 year and 4 days apart. In the past 4 months I’ve undergone 2 procedures that have removed around 50 pounds of skin total from my stomach, chest, sides and back, the most recent procedure being one week ago today.

It’s been an insane journey. Since 2009 I’ve lost over 270 pounds, and when I see myself without the skin hanging from my body, I see the person I’ve felt like for a long time.

Today, I have value. One year ago, I had value. In 2009 when I was 500 pounds, I had value. It just took time to see it.

I’m proud of who I am today, and I refuse to shame who I’ve been.