top of the table!

timelordlullaby  asked:

Ok so I have an idea: What if the Host narrates whatever song's in his head? Like, the Egos are all at a meeting but the Host isn't really participating, just muttering furiously to himself off to the side as usual. Suddenly someone hears him say the word 'shot' and panic erupts, everyone thinking that he foresaw someone's murder. But then someone gets closer and realizes that, nope, he's just softly rapping My Shot to himself.

I feel like My Shot is just not a song that can stay quiet. Like he starts off trying to be as quiet as possible, but then he hits Laurens’ part and he just keeps getting louder. So Silver manages to catch the word shot, panics, and then the others start panicking and by the end, the Host is shouting the ending to an empty room while he’s standing on top of the table even though he doesn’t even remember getting up.

(As a side note, i’d love to hear Mark sing Burn directed at, like, Dark)

Oh, You Again?

Seungri | First Meeting

with mentions of Hanna and another OC, Seoyeon

2,102 words

Requested by Anon

A/N:  So it was too long to be considered as a drabble haha!  I will include this one on the main masterlist once all is done :)  I will do this to every request that exceeds 2k words!

Originally posted by fantastic--babies


“Is this all?” Seungri asks his executive assistant as he looks over a few resumes of applicants who wanted to work at the latest branch of Aori Ramen that he is about to open in about a few weeks.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to say off-hand-edly(?) that literally 50% of my college friend group has autism and I am the second autistic president of the table top rpg society at my college. College is so so so much better for autists than school. Michael and Jerm would be so cool in college. I get invited everywhere its amazing, like people still think I'm a little odd but it's more endearing to flap my hands than it's ever been in my life. I believe in you! You'll do great if you decide to go!

Dude this is actually so great since I’ve always worried about how I’ll do in the Real Outside World

I’m going to the table top gaming store to see if they have dnd sessions open for new players cuz lol I’m so lonely here in Shitfield

When the sorcerer found the dragon, it was attacking a grape.

This was only possible because the dragon was not much larger than a grape itself, but she still had to do a double take to be sure the object it was fighting with such animosity was in fact inanimate.

She crouched so that her eyes were level with the top of the table and squinted at it. The dragon sank its tiny fangs into the grape’s skin and gave a great tug, succeeding only in throwing it and the grape into a backwards tumble. The tiny green reptile rolled to a stop with its whole body wrapped around the grape and shook its head ferociously, managing to pull its teeth out but also launching the grape across the table. It gave a mighty roar of anger (about as loud as a human clearing their throat) and stalked after it, tail swishing dangerously.

“Do you need help?” she offered.

The dragon froze mid-prowl and whipped its head around to look at her, looking so offended she almost apologized for asking.

“I mean, I could peel it for you, if that’s the problem.” She wasn’t sure it was getting the message. One could never tell how much human language these little creatures picked up by hanging around the magic labs. Some understood only such essentials as “scat!” or “oh fuck, that sure did just explode”, while others could hold entire conversations — if they deigned to interact.

This one looked like it was deciding whether she was worthy. Finally, it sniffed daintily and flicked its tail, scales clacking together. “Little monster is my prey, and you can’t have it. Found it first. Will devour it!”

“Oh, sure,” she agreed. “But you know it’s a grape, right?”

This was the wrong thing to say. It glared at her and then bounded away to the other end of the table, where it slithered up to the grape and pounced on it.

Grape and dragon promptly rolled off the edge of the table.

The sorcerer quickly went around to that side, alarmed that it would be stepped on. The labs were bustling with shoppers stopping by to watch demonstrations this time of day, and a small dragon wouldn’t be easily visible on the blue and green tiled floor.

“Horrible! Dirty!” The tiny dragon was screeching at the top of its lungs, holding onto its prey for dear life. It would have been hard to hear anyway, with all the noise of the labs, but with the sorcerer’s diminished hearing it took several seconds to locate the screaming creature.

She scanned the pattern of the tiles for it and sighed. “Oh, hold on, we mopped this morning.” She cupped her hands around it and deposited it into her skirt pocket, an indignity the dragon endured only with more screaming.

“An outrage! Put me down!”

“Shh,” she advised. Lab workers were strongly discouraged from bringing creatures into the back rooms, which was where she was heading, picking her way through the crowded front lab.

“Fuck pockets!” her pocket responded.

“Oh, you can curse. Wonderful.”

The dragon seemed to take this as an actual compliment. “Am multitalented. Can also compose poetry.”

“Really? Can I hear some?”

“No. For dragon ears only.” It sounded viciously pleased to hold this over her head. The bulge in her pocket rearranged itself, and she thought it might be trying to gnaw on the grape.

She felt herself smiling even as she tried to squash her mouth into a straight line. She liked this little bad-tempered thing, even though its spiky feet were digging into her thigh.

In the much quieter kitchen of the back rooms behind the lab, she transferred the wriggling, scaly handful from her pocket to the table. The dragon hissed out a few more insults as it got up and straightened itself out, but its jaw fell open when it finally took in its surroundings. She’d set it down next to the fruit bowl.

“There you go. Food mountain.”

The dragon’s shock didn’t last long. Abandoning the grape, it scraped and scrabbled its way up the side of the bowl and from there onto an apple, its claws leaving tiny puncture marks as it hiked to the top of the arrangement. “Food mountain!” It repeated, its gleeful crowing much clearer and almost sing-song without having to compete with the noise of the crowd.

She watched it turn in a circle, surveying the feast. “But… cannot eat it all,” it observed after a while, crestfallen. “Human-sized. Big shame.”

“Don’t you have nest-mates who can help you with it?” she asked. She had assumed not, from the way it had apparently been foraging for food on its own, but she needed to be sure she’d found a loner.

“No nest. No mates. No nest-mates. You’re rude.” It flopped down ungracefully, wings spread out flat on the apple like it was trying to hug the entire much-larger fruit.

She gave it a moment to be dramatic, and then offered it the grape, minus the peel. “You seem to have a good grasp on human-speak.”

It grabbed the grape without so much as a thank you. “Yes. Have composed poetry in both Dragonese and Humanese. Not for humans to hear, though.” Bragging cheered it up a little.

“You mentioned. I can’t hear very well, anyway.” She pulled up a stool and sat down. “Actually, I’ve been looking for a helper.”

“An assistant,” it said, apparently showing off its Humanese. “An attendant. An aid.”

She watched it bury its snout in the grape, juice dribbling down onto the apple it sat on. “Yes. A hearing aid. How would you feel about having a job?”

It smiled craftily. “Would feel positively, if job comes with chocolate chips.”

“It could,” she said, grinning. She had some friends who employed bird-sized dragons as messengers, but this was the first time she’d heard of one negotiating its salary for itself. “It certainly could. What’s your name?”

“Peep,” said Peep. “It is self-explanatory.”

“Don’t worry, I got it.”

Peep expressed its doubt that humans ever got anything, but she thought the tiny, prickly creature might be warming up to her.

  • Me, talking about whatever I'm hyperfocused on: *very excited and happy to talk about said thing, is genuinely enjoying the conversation*
  • Friend: *says nothing, does not respond, doesn't react in anyway*
  • Me, wringing my hands nervously: so um, anyways, let's talk about Normal Stuff(TM)
100 Magic Items for 5e Pt. 8

Past Posts

Items 1 - 5

Items 6 - 10

Items 11 - 15

Items 16 - 20

Items 21 - 25

Items 26 - 30

Items 31 - 35

36.      Rapier of Swift Attacking

Weapon (Rapier), Rare, Requires Attunement

An eloquent rapier, with a loops guard made of several strand of steel, intertwining and curving over the wielders hands. Every time the wielder of this takes the attack action, they can take an additional attack in exchange for reducing all attack rolls made by 1.

37.      Meat Cleaver

Weapon (Greataxe), Rare, Requires Attunement

This top-heavy weapon is in the shape of a giant meat cleaver. With a large flat head sharpened on one edge. A critical hit with this weapon can be achieved by rolling a 19 or a 20 (this effect stacks with other effects that lower critical hit requirements). Additionally increase the damage die of each critical hit by 1 die.

38.      Soul pincher

Wondrous Item (Ring), Uncommon, Requires Attunement

A ring made of ivory, stained yellow after years and years of exposure. The face of the ring is wrought in the shape of a skull, with 3 spikes of amethyst shaped in a triangle around the skull. When the creature wearing this ring makes an unarmed melee attack with the fist the ring is on, it applies 1 stack of “Soul Pincher”. When a creature dies with 3 stacks of “Soul Pincher” it becomes reanimated a skeleton in your control. You may have a maximum of 3 skeletons under your control. One spike of amethyst fills up with necrotic energy for each skeleton under your control.

39.      Mark of The Bold Heart

Wondrous Item (Tattoo), Rare, Requires Attunement by a Monk of level 5 or higher.

Magic ink is set into the skin of the character receiving this boon. The image crafted Is a scholar, blocking a warriors blade with his book. If the Monk attuned to this tattoo uses their Flurry of Blows to attack a fourth or higher time hits on at least 4 attacks out of the action – the Ki point spent on Flurry of Blows is regained.

Note: The main reason I made this a tattoo is because I feel like that could work into the concept of a Monk well. It could just as easily be a ring, or a necklace or even a blessing from a god if the idea of magical tattoos don’t fit your world or tickle your fancy. (You can read a blog I wrote about blessings as a replacement for magical items here)

If you’re unfamiliar with the idea of tattoo’s as a replacement for magical weapon you can read up a bit more on it here.

40.      Pazuzu’s Kiss

Wondrous Item (Ring), Legendary, Requires Attunement by a spellcaster

This ring is crafted of simple metals, it has claws to hold a center stone, but the gem is missing. The magical aura around this ring is faintly disturbing to those who are lawful – as it emits faints negative energy. This ring can be used to control a demon or devil when activated by a ritual known to anyone who casts the “Identify” or similar spell.

Attunement Ritual – To activate the abilities of this ring the creature must complete a blood sacrifice. The creature must offer 7 pints of blood from a living human, while chanting the ancient incantations given to them telepathically by the ring, during the ritual. The ritual takes an hour and requires the summoner to yell at the top of their lungs.

Once the ring is activated, the attuned creature can summon a Demon or Devil from the Monster Manual or similar book. They must sacrifice an amount of spell slots that level is equal to 1.5x the monsters CR. While a monster is under the rings control, the center piece fills with a crimson red ethereal gem. The fiend is telepathically bonded to its owner, and will obey – albeit begrudgingly, taking its own turn in initiative. When the fiend dies, the player receives their spell slots back, and the ritual can be completed again.

Without exaggeration, this map took me 15 hours to draw. I didn’t think it would take that long. But this isn’t the sort of thing I usually draw, so it took me longer than usual. If you look at it and enjoy it, it’s worthwhile though! It’s another item for my table top role-playing friends. I still need to do some character sheets. It will be nice to start a new project now!

100 Magic Items for 5e Pt. 13

Past Posts

Items 1 - 5

Items 6 - 10

Items 11 - 15

Items 16 - 20

Items 21 - 25

Items 26 - 30

Items 31 - 35

Items 36 - 40

Items 41 - 45

Items 45 - 50

Items 51 - 55

Items 56 - 60

61.      Robes of Earthmoving

Wondrous Item (Robe), Rare, Requires Attunement

These robes are made of soil crafted magically into string. Magical energy flowing through it makes the dirt still appear to be shifting. As an action, the player can burrow into the ground and resurface up to 60 feet away. You may use a pre-existing passage as a bonus actions instead of an action. This effect only works on dirt and soil.

62.      Collar of the Alpha

Wondrous Item (Collar), Legendary, Requires Attunement by Ranger with wolf companion

A magical dog collar that clasps onto its wearer’s neck perfectly and adjusts itself to growth. A shining white moon hangs down as it’s medallion – with the animal companions name magically etched into it. A wolf given this collar to wear will turn into a Dire Wolf one week after donning the collar. All of its stats become that of the statblock of the Dire Wolf (MM Pg. 321). You also gain the ability to telepathically communicate with your companion. Additionally, when you choose to attack with your animal companion, you can make one weapon attack yourself. (This stacks with “Extra Attack” and “Rangers Companion” effects.)

63.      Gladiator Sandals

Wondrous Item (Sandals), Legendary, Requires Attunement by a Fighter

Bands of leather wrapped in a criss-cross pattern up past the ankle. A fighter who attunes themselves to these Sandals gains the “Martial Adept” feat, if they already have this feat – they gain it again. Additionally every time the Fighter scores a critical hit, they gain a superiority die of the highest available die number.

64.      Shield of the Martyr

Armour (Shield), Very Rare, Requires Attunement

A square shield almost 4 feet tall – ornate decorations flow all through the face of the shield, flowing spirals and lines snake towards a giant pearl centrepiece. The player attuned to this shield may activate it twice per long rest. When activated the player selects a creature within 10 feet. All creatures except the one attuned to this shield gain advantage on attack rolls against the target – additionally, the target gains advantage on all attack rolls against the player attunes to this shield. This effect lasts for 1 hour.

65.      Gloves of Hand Laying

Wondrous Item (Gloves), Rare, Requires Attunement by a Paladin

A pair of white leather gloves, the left glove is stitched with a road, and the right with a sunrise. When the player’s hands are held properly it shows the symbol of the god Lathander. A paladin attuned and wearing these gloves may heal a player for twice as much HP as expended from their Lay on Hands Pool. They may do this once per long rest, and must heal a character for more than 10 total HP and can heal for no more than 50 total HP.

I use a lot of gamer slang but I recently realized that some of my players have no idea what these words mean, so here’s a guide to different types of characters!

Tank: A character who can afford to take a ton of damage and is really hard to kill.  Typically can be found front and center in any combat situation.  Also called a Meatshield.

Originally posted by killerfrostbite

Glass Cannon: A character who can deal a ton of damage all at once, but doesn’t have a lot of hitpoints.  They are fragile, but dangerous.

Originally posted by tinysera

Squishie: Any character who should avoid melee fighting without backup because they’re just not very tough.  Most non warriors or healers are squishies.

Originally posted by dildo-gaggings

Skill Monkey: Any character who is really good at a lot of different things outside of combat situations.  Often have eclectic skill sets.

Originally posted by voyagerismycollective

Book Jockey: Any character with a lot of “knowledge” skills, see also Scholar and Neeeeeerd.

Originally posted by redfirerose

Face: A face character is good at the “talking” skills, like Diplomacy and Bluff.  They often gravitate towards leadership positions within the party as they’re the best at dealing with NPCs and convincing others to go along with their decisions. 

Originally posted by antoinetripletts

Buffer: Someone who makes their allies more effective.  Typically thought of as weak, but can easily turn the tide in combat situations.  Also called Support characters.

Originally posted by gamingthingsthatgiveyoufeels

Zoo Keeper: Any character who is outnumbered by their own animal companions/mounts/familiars/pets/summons.

Originally posted by heartcoma

Please note that any given character could be multiple of these or even none at all!

Feel free to reblog with your own terminology!