I always struggle throwing boxes away.”
“Why?”
“Well because, if you take the washing machine out of it, and fit that in your kitchen, and there’s the box, all crisp and new and empty and I can’t help but look at it, and part of my mind sees the potential. You look at it and you think: Wow, that could be, like, a castle, or a - you’ve been there! Or a den, or a car. I’m the same with shoe boxes. I don’t think I’ve ever thrown one away ever, because you think I could keep special things in it, or put it on it’s side and you could have like, a TV screen, or maybe you could use the big box as a spaceship and then the little one as a dashboard. Come on, you’ve been there!”
“Richard? Are you all right? Seriously, because this is a man, with - there’s no other way of putting this - with a helicopter licence.”
“The CAA said I was alright.”
“I know but, the CAA, if they’re watching this, will think ‘He’s a madman!’”
“Well, it’s not a real helicopter - it’s just the box his fridge came in.
3

In which Jackie and Clarkson ask the really important question.

Concept: The BBC relaunch Top Gear with Mary Berry, Mel & Sue. Amateur bakers make food in a garage whilst The Stig speeds past the old tent noisily. The show shouldn’t work, but it does, beating all previous viewing records. Paul Hollywood sits in the tent crying. He realises that he prefers cars and baking to the money Channel 4 has. Mary, Mel & Sue are too busy having fun on the BBC to care.