Shepard: Come on Kaidan, just do it.
Kaidan: Shut up John. *sighs* okay. here goes.
Kaidan: Uhm mom?
Mommy Alenko: Kaidan! oh son I’m so glad you called. how are you? did you-
Kaidan: Hold on mom….there’s something I want to tell you. remember what you said about…me…finding….someone.
MA: Oh my. oH MY! kaidan. im so proud of- who’s the lucky lady?
Shepard: *nearly bisexual laughter*
Kaidan: Uhm yeah..about that mom. it’s…uhm. it’s Shepard.
Kaidan: Uhm mom? still there? are you mad or-
MA: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? TIME TO CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE MY BABY KAIDAN IS A QUEER. wait till your aunt hears about this. wait wait, so are you on top or are you the bott-
Kaidan: Uhm mom…
MA: Just kidding! now go on baby, you and John are probably busy doing stuff. i love you! go easy on the commander.
Kaidan: *clears throat* Well. That went horrible.
Shepard: Now that everything’s out in the open, wanna go and eat what my mom made?
Kaidan: What did she make?
Kaidan: Hehe. I’d be happy to.
Shepard: And please, don’t go easy on the commander.