took me hours to finish this because of complications:(

(Kylo Ren x soulmate!reader) You’re all I need

Request:  Hi! Love your writing ❤ can I request a Kylo x soulmate!reader where they’ve been working together (and get on well) for a while but the reader knows they’re soulmates and doesn’t know how to tell him because she’s scared he won’t want her/he deserves better because she’s just a translator on the ship. Thank you! x

A/N: Sorry it took me sooo long! I finally finished studying for a test so I got to write this and my writers block ended! I hope you like it!

Warnings: none 

Words: 1,485

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You sat at your control table, trying to make sense of the codes that were sent to you. On good days they were easy to conscribe. But this one was long and complicated. It would take you at least an hour. Your eyes started to hurt and you looked at the clock. It had been an hour. You couldn’t stop though, you had a job to do. You rubbed your eyes and continued to decode the message.You looked behind you and saw someone walk into the room, it was Kylo Ren. You quickly resumed to your work and rubbed your eyes again quickly as Kylo walked behind you and looked at the screen. You and Kylo had got along better than most, and you would even consider the two of you to be friends. However, you didn’t know if that’s what he thought. Kylo took off his helmet and continued to stare at your screen.

“You need to rest” he said dryly and you turned around to face him.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. I need to get this done” you replied, and continued to face the screen whilst shifting awkwardly in your seat and looking at your bare wrist. You used to have a small star on your wrist. But it disappeared when you met your soulmate. You remembered exactly when you had lost it. It was when you had met Kylo Ren. Ever since that had happened, you weren’t sure exactly how to act around him. You knew he wouldn’t like the idea of the two of you being soulmates, it wouldn’t be the first time someone had turned down their soulmate. At least he wouldn’t have to know, he didn’t have a star on his wrist to begin with.

“Y/N, you’re not going to be able to focus if you’re tired. You need to rest” Kylo said and you turned around to face him again. You always found it hard to look him in the eye. Despite the fact that you couldn’t tell him that you were soulmates, you still had feelings for him. You tried to push them aside but it only made them grow stronger.

“All due respect, I think I can handle it” you said. You wanted to get this over and done with so you could get some sleep without having to worry about the codes. Kylo seemed taken back by your response and hesitated for a moment before walking away, unfazed. You looked at the screen and looked at the codes again before something caught your eye. There was a recurring pattern in the codes that looked familiar. Something finally clicked in your head and you immediately panicked.

“Kylo!” you called to him and he walked quickly towards you. The panic in your voice was enough to bring him towards you as fast as he could.

“What is it Y/N?” he said as he came up behind you. You could barely get the words out.

“I-It’s a code from one rebellion fleet to another. They’re attacking the base” you said with disbelief. Kylo stared at the screen intently and then immediately walked to the other side of the room to grab his helmet. You stood up and walked over to him and he turned around before he put the helmet on to look at you.

“I need you to send out a warning transmission and then you have to get somewhere safe” he said, and it was the first time you ever saw genuine worry in his eyes. A little more than concern, but less than fear. You couldn’t quite figure how to describe it.

“No, I’m going to help you!” you said sternly as you looked up at his eyes, still feeling dizzy and tired. Kylo placed his hands gently and protectively on your shoulders and looked at you intently.

“Send the transmission and get somewhere safe, I need to make sure you’re safe. You understand?” he said to you, sounding desperate but serious. You were shocked at what he just said but you managed to simply nod your head and walk over to the computer to send the transmission.

———————————————-

Two days later everything was alright. You had managed to send out the transmission just in time and everyone had put up defenses for the star killer base. There weren’t that many ships so they were destroyed in little time, and nothing was lost. Thanks to you, however you would never admit it. You were too humble.

You had managed to get some sleep since the attack surprisingly, but you were now back to your job and you had to do it for longer. Considering the attack was so unexpected, you had to keep a closer eye on things. That meant decoding their new codes, and it took much longer this time.

You sat at your computer screen when someone walked into the room. You knew it was Kylo, he had a presence that couldn’t be ignored. It was the first time you had seen him since the attack, and you were still thinking about what he had said those days before. You tried to brush it off though, he just considered you a friend and nothing else was possible.

“If you want me to rest it’s not going to happen” you said with a bit of a smile. “General Hux won’t allow it” you added as you looked for more codes. None could be found at the moment, but you couldn’t drop your guard down for even a second.

“I’m not” he replied with his dark muffled voice He took his helmet off and walked closer to you.

“Then what is it?” you asked, still staring at the screen.

“What happened to you soulmate mark?” he asked, his voice quiet. You stopped dead in your tracks, still pretending to look at the screen but thinking hard for a response.

“Why do you ask?” you reply, trying to sound confident but your rapid breathing showed otherwise. Kylo hesitated for a moment before speaking, his voice just as quiet as before.

“I don’t see you with anyone, and you don’t mention anyone, yet you don’t have your mark” he said, anxiously. You turned around to look at him, still trying to remain confident but failing. You couldn’t tell him, it would make things bad between the two of you. Although you wanted something more out of your friendship, you didn’t want to lose him completely.

You shrugged and turned to look away from him, trying to end the conversation but he grabbed your arm softly to stop you from turning around. You tensed up at his contact and when he felt it, he immediately loosened his grip so it was almost as if he wasn’t touching you at all.

“Y/N, please. Tell me” he said, his voice seeming frail and cautious. You breathed heavily, trying to remain calm. He knew, and there was nothing you could do now. It was over. You thought about this and your mind went blank, still not answering Kylo.

“It’s me, isn’t it?” he said, quieter than before. You continued to face away from him and felt like crying, you just wanted to disappear. There was nothing you could say or do that would change anything.

“Y/N? Please answer me” He said again, and you wanted to say something but nothing was good enough.

“I-I’m sorry I…” you trailed off and you finally looked up at Kylo. There were tears forming in his beautiful eyes and it felt like a stab to the lungs. Your chest tightened and you just wanted everything to be alright again.

“I know you don’t deserve me…” you said, your voice breaking. Kylo suddenly reaches out and holds your hand, using his thumb to lightly stroke your palm. He looks at you, his sad expression suddenly turning to one of confusion and sympathy.

“That’s the reason why you didn’t tell me?” he said in disbelief. You shrugged your shoulders and looked at your hands. Kylo squeezed your hands tightly, he then gently tilted your chin up so he could see your face. You didn’t resist and just stared back at him, however still feeling shy.

“Why on earth would you ever think that…” he said, still in shock. You started to get your breath back and looked at him more intently.

“I was so angry and devastated that you had already found your soulmate that I didn’t even think it could be me. I didn’t think that I deserved such beauty” he said, breathlessly.

You exhale deeply and get lost in his beautiful brown eyes and then press your forehead gently against his.

“You deserve more…” you whispered as you lifted your hand up to his cheek and lovingly rested your hand there. He chuckled as he lifted his hand to your head and stroked your hair gently.

“You’re all I need” he whispered softly. 

[leans into the mic] Open this in another tab, window, whatever you need to do to see this in a large view because it’s fucking huge and detailed. 

It’s named “Complicated” 

It took me 5 hours to do from start to finish and my wrist is mad at me. 

anonymous asked:

Hey I just wanted to say I've been kind of bummed out about my art, I feel like I'm not improving. I was wondering if you could show me a comparison of your old artwork to your recent artwork and maybe some advice? Thanks c: PS your art is so beautiful

Hi! That’s actually a really interesting ask (ʘ‿ʘ) Everybody prepare yourselves bc it’s time to laugh. I’m gonna show you a few of my older drawings to prove that you can achieve a lot only if you work hard uwu

As i said several times it was really, REALLY hard for me to get used to my tablet. It was so different from a normal pencil and a sheet of paper. D; (if you want to see more of my older traditional art visit my deviantart here) For a long time i couldn’t even finish a single painting because i knew from the beginning it was total crap. If i finished something and was actually pleased with the piece, that was usually just a happy accident lol

I bought my tablet (Wacom Bamboo Pen&Touch) in 2014 and started working in Corel Painter 11 because that was one of the softwares my art senpai was using (shoutout to @petite-madame​ your amazing tips and tutorials helped me a lot back then, thank you!)
I tried really hard to achieve that oil painting texture so i experimented with different brushes all the time.

This is one of my first paintings. I have no idea what was that to be honest. It’s from May 2014.

Another painting is just a perfect example of a huge happy accident. It took around 15 hours to finish? :’D It was a nightmare. And now I think it would take me probably 2 hours because it’s not even a full portrait haha

The next one is a proof that if you’re a beginner you probably don’t want to paint anything with complicated lighting without a decent reference. That was probably my biggest problem because I really wanted to paint full illustrations but had no basic knowledge about lighting, colors and anatomy. Baby steps, that’s the point. Start with simple things and try leaving your comfort zone slowly, step by step. This is also important with art block (at least for me). You probably noticed that I haven’t uploaded anything complicated recently. That’s because I’ve been trying really hard to get rid of that horrible art block and for me only simple paintings can do the work and help me in this situation.

Another painting (again not finished just like 90% of things i’m showing you now) is from December 2014 and you can see I already improved a lot. Stopped messing around that much with different brushes and started using only 2 or 3 (here basic round ones). Also at this point I started using Photoshop CS6.

Yes, yes. Like I told you, I was a Supernatural trash.

When it comes to kpop fanart I started at the beginning of 2015. A lot of experiments with brushes again:

And this happens if you have no idea about colors and still struggle with blending. (April 2015?) Again not finished because I saw it was going nowhere.

The last one is my first ever Jin fanart. Poor Jin, how could I do this to him :’D Again I had no idea how to blend colors. I don’t wanna mention the fact that it doesn’t even look like Jin.

I think this painting was my breakthrough moment when I finally learned something about blending and brushes. After uploading this one and getting positive feedback I finally had more motivation to finish my paintings. I finally noticed the progress after a year of sweating and crying over my tablet. :’D

And some of my recent artworks here (PLEASE DO NOT EDIT/REUPLOAD):


So basically my advice for beginners/art blocked is start simple, watch/read tutorials and speedpaintings that might inspire you or let you to discover something new.

I really hope that my answer motivates and inspires you a bit, my dear anon! I’m sure you’re improving, just look back at your paintings and think about all of the things you’ve learned in the process on your own mistakes and from other people! <3

Thank you for loving my art and good luck! ^^