Dear Old Best friend,
It took me a few weeks to realize that you were actually done with me. I reached out and you pushed me further away. I’m not going to lie, I was devastated at first. You were the one of the few people who knew everything about me and never seemed to judge me, even when I didn’t always make the best decisions. I felt betrayed to know that you weren’t going to be there anymore when I needed you. I’m still not exactly sure what I did wrong. It was pretty awful of you to decide that we were done.
I am sorry if you still harbor any bad feelings towards me. I have none for you. You helped me continue on in the race of life, but I guess you never intended to help me across the finish line. I’m not mad, I don’t blame you, I just get a little sad when I’m full of nostalgia and can’t reach out to you and say “remember that time when”…
Everyone we meet is either supposed to serve as a lifelong bond or a lesson, and you were the latter. The lesson could have been a good one, or it could have been a heartbreaking one, but either way thank you. There is nobody else I would want to be a lesson than someone I created as many memories with. You are a lesson that I’ll never forget, just like our memories will be ones that I tell my children one day. And I hope one day your kids hear stories about me, and can tell you and I had a bond that made up a majority of your school years. You won’t be erased just because you’re no longer in my life.
Thank you for all the valuable advice you gave me, for the time you spent with me, and for helping shape me into who I am today. I’m sorry that the people we became weren’t compatible in your eyes, but I’m not sorry the journey brought us to this conclusion. It has helped me realize the people in my life who actually care about me and want to be there. I thought you were one of those people, but you proved to me that you weren’t.
You were more than just a best friend, you were a sister to me. In the process of dropping me out of your life, you lost your second family and I lost mine. But the door will always be open, you have seen my ugly laugh, and held me when I ugly cry, we have been through things that there is no going back from, and this is an undeniable fact that means I will always allow you to come back into my life. I would still be here for you if you wanted to make amends, but I don’t know if I would ever be able to trust you enough to be as close as we were again. When I lost you I also lost all of my trust, but I found myself.
Looking back, it destroyed me, but now it has only made me stronger. You were a fool to drop me like that. You were my best friend and I would’ve done anything for you. No matter what I was always there to defend you or be your shoulder to cry on. When you were in pain because someone hurt you, it killed me inside to see you so upset and I would’ve given anything to take that pain away from you. It is sad to realize how close we were and how much our friendship meant to me. But it obviously didn’t mean that much to you.
I still wish you the best. I still hope you can find someone to sweep you off your feet and treat you like the princess you are. I still hope you land your dream job, whatever that may. I hope you’re happy wherever you are and I hope you get everything you’ve ever wanted out of life. I hope you find someone who is a better fit for you than I was. Most importantly, I hope you find someone to fix all of your fly away, stray hairs on your wedding day.
Love forever and always,