took me a few days to do this

Minerva Mcgongall pulled out her notebook and turned to the page that listed the names and details of that years Gryffindor Quidditch team. Her heart swelling with pride she jotted down the name “Harry Potter” next to the position “Seeker” before closing the book and opening a second drawer. She took out a small, wooden box and rummaged in it for a few seconds before withdrawing a worn out envelope, inside of which was a short letter and a photograph.

“Dearest Minnie,

Hope you’re doing well! I’m the same of course, driving Lily up the wall as usual, she sends you her love by the way!

Now I know I told you that you’ll never find a chaser as good as me ever again, but it just goes to show that even the brilliant are sometimes mistaken. I’ve found you (made you!) a replacement who will one day outshine his old man by leagues! Enclosed is a photograph of your new Quidditch prodigy so that you may assess his skills for yourself. We have him chasing the cat for practice. He’ll be unbeatable by the time he starts at Hogwarts! The youngest Quidditch player in a century!

I guarantee it, Minnie. And you know I’m never wrong, though you’ll never admit it!

Missing you and Hogwarts terribly,

Lots of love,

James

P.S. Sirius says his marriage proposal still stands.”

Wiping away a single tear that ran down her cheek and chuckling to herself, she smiled down at the photograph of a small, gleeful, black haired boy zooming along on a toy broom, a pair of legs chasing after him and a young woman laughing hysterically in a corner.

“Right again, Mr. Potter.”

My student submitted the most disturbing “Living History” project I’ve ever seen 

By reddit user gretelcat

One of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity (and for an easy way to bring up their GPA).

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5

While rummaging through a box he found in the attic, England uncovers some old photos, along with old memories.

(These took so long to make, I hope you guys like them! I was trying to put subtle stuff in the photos to try and tell a story, I’ve never done it before so it was good practice! I might end up writing something for this if I decide to stop being lazy.)

Periods Aren’t That Bad. They’re Actually A Whole Lot Worse: A Lesson For Non-Period-Havers

Disclaimer 1: This will probably get a little NSFW.

Disclaimer 2: Symptoms of periods vary from period-haver to period-haver. It pretty much sucks for everyone, though.

Disclaimer 3: I have a high pain tolerance. Really high. If I say something is really painful, it is really fucking painful.

And now for the reasons why having periods suck and it’s worse for us to have it than for you to hear about it:

  1. There is blood coming from our vaginas. This is a very unpleasant feeling. We cannot “hold it.” Some people get a light trickling. Some, like me, get a Goddamn crime scene.
  2. The ways to keep from bleeding all over everything include a pad, which basically feels like a diaper, and a tampon, which is basically shoving a cotton pipe up there, is not as much fun as it sounds, and can be very uncomfortable if done wrong. And doing it right is fairly hard. Thanks to good old Catholic sex ed, it took me about five years to figure out.
  3. Cramps. I am lucky in that my cramps tend not to be THAT bad (thank you, high pain tolerance), but some get cramps so bad that the pain is comparable to appendicitis.
  4. Headaches. What I lack in cramps, I often make up for in headaches. And not just any headaches. Agonizing headaches. They can start up to a week before the bleeding starts, they last a few days into it, and they don’t go away. No matter how much aspirin you take. Seriously, when I get menstrual headaches, I could down an entire fucking bottle of Advil and I’d probably die but my ghost would still have the headache.
  5. Acne. I’m talking looking like Deadpool under the mask.
  6. Indigestion. It isn’t fun.
  7. Bloating.
  8. Sometimes my actual vaginal region hurts. A lot. Enough to have me doubled over on the floor.
  9. For some reason my anxiety gets worse sometimes around my period. Which is extra fun. There’s nothing like nearly calling the morgue because your dad was late from a basketball game, only to find out he was at Applebee’s.
  10. Fatigue. Because I’m doing everything I normally do while my body is staging a mutiny.
  11. Backache.
  12. Just generally feeling disgusting.
  13. This goes on for a week.
  14. This happens every Goddamn month.
  15. This generally starts around age twelve or so and lasts until maybe age 45.
4

Even tho I still can’t manage holding my tablet’s pen, my mechanical pencil is slim and light enough to let me draw! Which is why I spent the last few days sketching traditionally - maybe this blog has been inactive long enough to allow me to post shitty pics of shitty pencil doodles too haha

Bruised (Richie/Eddie) 1/12

Summary: It’s 1993 and the summer from many years ago is dead and gone. Many have drifted apart from the Losers club and its at the point where there is no club at all. The atmosphere is cold just like the winter months and the only blushes to be found are the ones that are caused from the piercing spikes of cold that heat skin up. Being a teenage boy is hard; especially for the two boys that now count each other as strangers. In which both boys make a plan, but both disrupt each others.

Warning(s): Suicide attempt?? , depression, mental illness’, mixture of fluff and angst throughout the series, homophobic slurs

A/N: Hi!! welcome to part 1 of IDK HOW MANY but ayy!! Honestly, i’M MAKING A TAG LIST FOR THIS SERIES SO IF ANYONE WHO DOESN’T WANNA FOLLOW ME OR WANTS TO BE NOTIFIED JUST ASK!!

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12(Soon) | 

Richie Tozier brought the cigarette between his lips, letting the toxic smoke fill his decaying lungs and pulse throughout his insides and swirls around in each crevice of his body. He then takes away the cancer stick, after a moment blowing out the toxic waste into the thin November air.

Beverly Marsh raised an eyebrow at him, sitting across from the much taller boy on the brick wall with her own cigarette between her fingers. She watched as the smoke faded into nothing, sighing lightly as she proceeded to watch her best friend smoke away.

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Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So…pain. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

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I worked as a cinematographer for five years. An old friend asked me to “help” him for a few days with a music video he was directing. On the first day of filming, he revealed that: a) I was the only person he hired, b) he doesn’t own any cameras, and c) he has no knowledge of operating any filmmaking cameras. 

During the filming, he kept brushing off my advice and gave me vague instructions. A few hours later, we took a break.

Me: Do you have anything to eat?

Client: No, I’m not really hungry. Were you working on an empty stomach all along? Dude, you should learn to carry your own snacks. I do that all the time. It’d be good for you.

We were filming at a remote cabin by the lake with no cell reception, so I couldn’t get food. He gave me some of his snacks and told me I eat a lot. After he kept me working much longer than he promised, I told him that I need to leave and pick up the filming the next day. 

Client: You have to go now? I guess that’s fine. But you don’t need your camera until tomorrow, right? You should leave it here. I want to walk around and experiment how my locations will look. I also need to practice filming.

Me: No, I have to take it with me.

Client: Okay, fine. Wow, I guess you’re really attached to your camera! 

He had a way of suggesting my needs were personal faults. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I asked to be paid, and he responded “I guess some people are just caught in the rat race, man!”

Sigiling Selfies: How to Anti-Taglock Pictures of Yourself

So @dontusemycauldron mentioned this to me at some point, and it took a few days for it to really sink in. They told me how some people put sigils on their photos to prevent people from using them as taglocks for things like cursing. And I went, “well holy shit, that is fucking clever,” and proceeded to do it with every single one of my selfies I’ve posted to Tumblr. Not because I’m concerned, but I like to put faith in preventative measures. 

I decided I was going to show you guys how to do it - at least with SAI, because that’s the program I tend to use for art things now (and I can’t find a good crack of Photoshop anymore). However, any art or digital media program that makes use of layers and transparencies can be used for this technique.

First off, you want your sigils. I made two personal ones, and I also made two for Tumblr use. However, I’m going to recommend that you create your own sigils with your own statements of intent, if you can.

“This photo is bound from being used as a taglock.” 

“This photo is not successfully used as a taglock for cursing.”

Ideally, you want digital sigils with transparent backgrounds, so you can avoid as much visual disturbance to your picture - you don’t want people to see or know there is anything over top of it, right?

Anyway, now on to the (SAI) tutorial!

Open your selfie and your sigils; you can switch between them along the bottom of the SAI window. Copy and paste the sigils onto your picture. I do this by clicking on the sigil’s canvas, hitting Ctrl+A and then Ctrl+C, then selecting the canvas with the selfie and hitting Ctrl+V. I can show the screen commands, however, for those that aren’t so tech savvy:

The “paste” option is also in the “edit” menu, as you can see. When you’ve done that, your selfie should look something like this:

Well, you know, you won’t look like me…but your sigils will have pasted in the top left corner of your picture. And they’re very obviously visible. BUT fortunately we’re not done with it yet. 

Arrange your sigils over top of the face part of the selfie, however you want. I didn’t specify before, but the icon that looks like the cross with the arrows on each end (highlighted in blue here) :

…that’s the move tool; click on that, then on each separate layer, and you can move the layer around as you wish.) You definitely wanna do this before you change any of the transparency of the sigils, while you can still see them. Ultimately it doesn’t matter how you arrange them, just as long as they are on your face. Mine look like this:

It almost makes a heart shape, lol. So, those familar with SAI know where to look to see the layers. Mine were on the left-hand side by default, I know that is something you can change, however. They look like this:

On the bottom you can see the separate layers - your picture, and the sigils each on their own layer. Above that, you can see the “mode” and “opacity” tools. Those are the ones we care about.

Experiment with the mode if you want - it isn’t required, but it can help. I like to put mine on “overlay,” because it adds to the visualization of the sigils seeping into the picture and blending in to it. You need to click on each separate sigil layer to apply the mode. That makes it look like this:

And with that we’re almost done! Finally, just change each of the sigil layer’s opacity to 1% by clicking on the opacity bar and dragging it almost all the way down. You want them to not be at zero because they still need to be on the pictures and not “off,” but if you put them at any higher than 1%, you can still see them, and you definitely do not want people being able to see the sigils. Once you’re done that the selfie look like this:

Can you even tell there are sigils over top of that? There are. Four sigils, now, actually, lol. And this is how the layers look over on the side in SAI:

As you can see, the mode has been set to overlay on both, and they are both at 1% opacity. From there, save your picture (file, save as), feeling free to specify in the title that one has been magic’d. Then, you can upload them without any worry!

Of course, this can be done with sigils for other purposes - I just made this post with the intention of preventing selfies being used as taglocks, because that’s what I did to mine today. However, you can easily apply any sort of glamours to your selfies, if you desire. 

I hope this helps anyone, or inspires anyone! Let me know if you have any more questions, or if I wasn’t so clear about things! This is my first time making a tutorial for any art program, I dunno if I did any good… But, yeah, just let me know if you have more questions or anything! :)

An Overrated Cliché

Summary: That Spider-Man kiss video was definitely cliché and cheesy, which is exactly the reason that Spidey and Y/N have to do it.

Word Count: 2235

Warnings: Heights and Swearing.

A/N: casually drops this after almost a year without writing like okay!! okay!! please enjoy this (it has good format!!) :0 and thank you to @buckys-fossil for actually tolerating me and proofreading this, i love you!!! also this is a gender neutral fic!!!! if you followed me when i was strictly an aesthetic blog well then, hello i write fics too

Originally posted by kimtaeyoen

Summer weather was the worst.

Summer holiday wasn’t that much better, what with having cabin fever and all. It had been a week since you had left the comfort of your apartment and three hours since you flopped onto the couch and lay there. All of your friends had been busy, Michelle doing her protesting, Liz with college preparation. It left you with nothing much to do other than lounge around your home.

The fan placed on the coffee table was set on revolve and hit your body with cool breezes. Laying on your side and absentmindedly watching season three of Phineas and Ferb, you felt jealous that those children were creative enough to make the most of your summer. It was a big contrast to you, as you hadn’t done anything the entire few weeks of summer there had been.

A thought suddenly came to mind and you decided to act on it. Shutting off the TV and fan, you put on actual clothes and took care of your hygiene before fixing your hair and pulling on your sneakers. Making sure to had some money and the house key, you texted your mom.

to: mom
hey i’m leaving the apartment for the first time in days are you proud of me

It didn’t take her long to reply.

from: mom
Fine with me, I was about to kick you out and make you do something.

You laughed at her text before tucking your phone away and leaving the apartment and locking the door.

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170618 // I haven’t made a post like this in a while, but I’m revising for an exam right now and it’s the last thing I want to be doing so I’m procrastinating (don’t follow my lead kids).

How I use Digital Notes

I’ll make a more detailed post about how I study at some point, but for now:

  • I use microsoft onenote, but you can use whatever program you feel comfortable with.
    • Useful features of onenote include the organisation into notebooks, sections, and tabs, search function, equation support, tagging, and formatting options (inc. different heading styles).
    • You can find really great posts about onenote quite easily if you’re interested in how it works (I would 100% recommend it).
  • Throughout the year I type up my class notes, summarising information and organising it into a sensible order.
    • This took a lot of discipline and I fell off the bandwagon quite a bit. I initially intended to type up my notes from the day every evening, but I found it’s more realistic to just do it as often as possible and to aim to finish each topic’s notes before I move onto the next one.
  • When I come to revise for exams I will rewrite and summarise my notes on paper (writing out notes helps me remember them, but this may not work for you)
    • When I’m doing the first few past papers I’ll have my notes with me so I can look things up until I can do a paper without them.
      • I find this is more effective than using the mark scheme to help as the mark scheme basically gives you the answers.

Why Make Digital Notes?

Obviously digital notes don’t work for everyone, but I find they’re much more useful to have than notes on paper, at least before you start revising.

  • The main benefits of digital notes are:
    • typing is faster than writing
    • search functions (depending on the program) to look up information quickly
    • neater and faster formatting
    • you can back them up somewhere else so you don’t have to worry about losing or damaging them
    • you can bring all your notes with you without it weighing a tonne (assuming your laptop/tablet doesn’t weigh a tonne)
    • copy and paste! Ofc use this as infrequently as possible, but it’s useful for quotes etc.
    • pictures without the effort of drawing or printing out and sticking in
    • cheaper as you don’t have to buy pens and paper as often
    • an excuse to bring your computer into school and then go online shopping and play games during really boring classes no I haven’t done this what are you talking about so you have access to google etc. to look things up whenever

Prioritising

  • The only reason I’ve managed to keep up with my notes throughout the year is because I don’t take any for maths and I’ve kind of fallen off the bandwagon for French (whoops). It’s a bit unrealistic to expect to keep up with all the notes for all your subjects (particularly if you’re doing gcses), so prioritise.
  • Subjects like maths tend to assess a skill rather than knowledge, so it’s probably more useful to do practice questions rather than make notes.
  • If you’re dropping a subject in a year and won’t touch it again make sure it’s actually worth making notes for the whole year.

In Class or After Class?

Whether you write notes on the computer during class or afterwards depends on the class.

  • I’ve got one particular teacher who flits back and forth between topics and often mentions things without going into detail because she assumes we’re too stupid to understand (not my favourite teacher ngl). So I use my laptop in her lessons so I can go back to topics we’ve already done and so I can google things to fact check (she frequently dumbs stuff down to inaccurate levels) and expand on points that she makes.
  • If you’ve got a teacher that tends to move super fast it might be worth having a computer with you as typing is generally much faster than writing.
    • If you can’t touch type learning is a really good idea, even just to improve the speed of your typing (I can’t actually touch type but I took a course until I learnt to use all my fingers when typing and now I type much faster). There’s lots of free online courses available.
  • Alternatively, you can just make all your class notes on paper and type up the important information when you get home.
    • This means you don’t have to worry about your class notes being neat enough to revise from; after you type them up you can file them or even throw them away to save space.
    • It also works as a review which is really good for putting the information into your long-term memory.
    • However it is also pretty time consuming so you’ve got to be super disciplined to keep on top of it.
  • In my school at a levels I’ve found it’s not too unusual to have a laptop out but it’s a bit odd to have one at gcses (idk about other schools). Obviously you shouldn’t care about what other people think, but if having your laptop/tablet with you will make you feel self-conscious and uncomfortable then leave it at home.
    • Also laptops and tablets are expensive and it’s understandable if you’d rather keep them safe at home.
    • That said, people do get used to it. Even if you’re the only one with a laptop/tablet, the novelty wears off quickly.
  • Some teachers don’t actually like students using laptops and tablets during class, so do check before you bring it in.

I hope this helped! Of course if you have any questions about this (or anything else) my ask is always open please ask me something

Here’s where I post this and find 56 typos :/

Meta Post: How did Shiro get his scar?

So a few days ago I did a post about Shiro’s prosthetic arm and the response was amazing! Many of you also showed interest in me doing one on Shiro’s scar as well, so here we are. This one took me a lot longer to make because it’s not as cut-and-dry as the arm. There’s a lot of variables and speculation. We can’t really know for sure what DID happen, but we can most likely deduce what DIDN’T happen. (WARNING–I’m going to discuss some graphic stuff, blood/gore/injuries, etc. So be aware.)

In this post we’ll go through the possibilities and see which ones are the most likely to occur. There will be one numbered point per general option, and I will narrow them down to the ones I think could happen. I would love for you to share your thoughts on the matter! At one point most of us, myself included, assumed Shiro got the scar on his face during battle, so this brings us to the first option:

1. The scar is the result of a sword or other blade swipe during battle

Let’s take a look at what would have to happen for this option to be the case. There’s an easy way to visualize this in 10 seconds or less.

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Have fun being stranded in the Philippines.

Please be patient, the buildup to this is intense and long but the resulting revenge has probably put me on the Devil’s shortlist. (tl:dr at the end)

About 3 months before I finally quit, I was getting really pissed. Management was never in the office, the Owner couldn’t make up his mind about anything, and so many people were quitting that I ended up being the only Programmer/Developer in an office of about 50 people… for a company that received 95% of its business from online sales. People started taking credit for my work and I decided to quit. Looked around for jobs, found one pretty quickly, and put in my two weeks notice with a nice little note that simply said something to the effect of “I hereby resign, effective blah blah blah”.

Lo and behold the man who had in the last few days become my manager (we’ll call him Frank) instead of idk maybe promoting the only programmer in the company to the head of the development department, begged me to stay, promised me a raise, and told me about their new project and how he wanted me to be involved.

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Sorry...

Guys, this tumblr will be inactive for a long time, I’ve gone through an emotional problem that hurted me. I’ve never seen myself as the kind or nice person that I should be, I actually don’t know how to act around people.

I’ve to announce that I’m a severely ill person, I tend to get severely sick constantly, and I have a noticeable health problem. I’m constantly thinking that I’m going to die soon, I don’t know, nothing is certain, but I’m always thinking on this stuff. Until some time ago, these thoughts were being dissipated because of other stuff… but some days ago, they found me again on this emotional state…
I’m not a constant person, I tend to abandom my dreams quickly because a part of me is saying that I don’t deserve it.

I was born on spain 23 years ago, and well… everything in my life was good… at least the first few years of my life. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings, but my father was secretly stealing money from my mother to buy drugs, and the problem grew after some time. Slowly, he didn’t only steal money, but also objects from the house, like my toys, videoconsoles and even the oven.

My mother divorced my father, and I felt depressed, thinking that everything was my fault, since they were constantly telling me that they wouldn’t need to bear with each other if it wasn’t because of me.

With some time, the scar started to heal… and my mother decided to rearrange her life with a mexican that she met on the internet.
The fact that my mother could be happy again was making me happy. We went to live in Mexico, and everything seemed fine, until that man started to beat me for no reason. At first, it was because of my grades, but later it was because I didn’t look at him in the eyes when he was talking to me (I was scared and I putted my head down) and later it was because of stupid things such as looking at kids playing through the window (Since I wasn’t allowed to go out). I remember that when I heard him coming, I would hide in a corner of the room, curled up, praying that he wouldn’t come in, so that he wouldn’t see me. But it wasn’t like that, he always saw me, and he always beated me up.

I was able to leave that place thanks to my grandmother, who was still living in spain. After 7 years of physical abuse, I was able to leave. In spain, I felt safe with my grandmother, or that’s what I thought. My uncle (my mother’s brother) started to take advantage of me, saying bad stuff to me and raising his hand against me, because ‘’I’m the daughter of my mother, so I was destined to be like her’’, and he was saying that I needed to change.

My grandmother died 2 years later, and my uncle didn’t want to take care of me… However, I escaped. I lived on the street for some days, until a friend took me in, but in exchange, I had to do the chores in the house… I spent a lot of time being treated like Cinderella… until I finally found a kind of decent job, and I started to draw Dreamtale…

This is the story of my life, until now, a few people knew about it… I have a lot of emotional problems because of my past. It hurts me a lot, but I also have some health issues. I don’t know how much longer  will my life last, I don’t know if I’ll keep being alive tomorrow… what I do know is that I need to take a breath. I’ve only taken pain during all my way…and I want this pain to stop.

Please, have patience…

Friends With Benfits

Pairing: Stuart x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Warnings: holy lord, a lot of sin.

Words: 3627

Author’s Note: This is the first smut I’ve written that’s actually one of Dyl’s characters, and I love Stuart so I picked him. I got the idea from my best bb Caitlin. Thanks to @dumbass-stilinski for reading it over, proofreading, and lurking around when I was writing it last night. Hope you all enjoy!

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

Y/N’s POV


I’ve known Stuart for literally most of my life and ever since he’s left for college we haven’t had the chance to meet up and see each other. A lot of people don’t really know this, but Stuart was ultimately the one who took my virginity. A few days after that night, we couldn’t stand being away from each other, and managed to find our way into his bed again. That night, he made me cum so many times that I lost count. They way his hands, lips, and tongue felt on my warm skin it easily became addictive, especially that wonderful cock of his. For not having sex that many times he really knows what he’s doing and I’m loving it, so much that he’s ruined it for other guys. After so many times that we had fucked we decided to become friends with benefits, none of us declared the whole “no strings attached” rule, because I’ve honestly had a crush on him since we were kids, I just don’t know how he feels about me. It’s been about four or five months since me and Stuart have fucked and I’m going through major withdrawals.

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anonymous asked:

I don't know why ur actin up for attention. You're okay as a writer, but there are much better ones in the fandom who have far less recognition

You see. It all started when father returned from the war. He had never been an affectionate man, as much as I can recall. But after the war, the small nods and brief glances from him that I had grown to look forward to had disappeared.

He was quick to anger and quicker to drink. Sometimes I’d awaken in the middle of the night to find him standing in the middle of the quiet farm, bathed in moonlight and despondent. His eyes would be fixated on the moon and stars, unblinking.

“Papa,” I’d call to him, “you’re scaring me…”

Of course, he didn’t respond. He never did. Somehow, his silence instilled more fear than his anger. The eerie quiet when I wished so badly to know what he was imagining.

The chores on the farm soon fell on my shoulders, as my mother came down with a chest cold that never seemed to go away. Some days were worse than others for her. I remember running to fetch the doctor in the middle of the night when she couldn’t keep from coughing. Walking through the old wooden thresh hold he greeted my father, who sat unblinking once again in his rocker with the usual bottle of liquor in his calloused hand. The light from the candles flickered, showing glimpses of his eyes which were wide with madness.

Seeing now the state he was in, the doctor simply tipped his cap and tended to my ailing mother. And soon after that, the talk around town began. Not so quiet whispers accompanied by piercing eyes when I made my way into town to fetch mothers tonic or liquor for papa.

My trips became less and less frequent. Not only because I couldn’t handle the gossip, but it seemed papa would do something drastic every time I left. One day I found him in the coop snapping the necks of the chickens inside, feathers flying everywhere as the few remaining tried to escape his grasp.

“Papa! No!” I screamed for him to stop.

He dropped to his knees with shaking hands. It was the first time he had spoken to me in what seemed like years. His voice was more hoarse than I remembered.

“I’m…sorry,” he spoke through tears.

Heavy with the shame of what he had done, he dragged himself off as I took care of the mess and contemplated how we would get our eggs now. I didn’t see papa again until that night. He came stumbling inside near dawn, crashing around our old farm house in his usual drunken stuper and calling for my grandmother, who had passed some time ago.

Why am I seeking attention? Who knows…but reading this message I think back to those chickens and their snapped necks. Who can say why, but perhaps I am jealous of them a bit. For at least, even in a brief moment before their deaths, they felt my fathers touch. Something I never had.

“Much better writers with far less recognition?” I chuckled and inched closer to you.

When the fandom approached me, asking me to hand-choose which followers went to which blogs I was shocked, but proudly took on the task. Just as I had taken on the burden of my families farm, I would also carry out this task to the best of my ability.

I moved my lips closer to your ear, letting them ghost over the skin as my fingers delicately tucked your hair to the side. My warm breath was seeping into your pores as you waited for me to respond.

“I know,” I whispered so softly, “now unfollow me, bitch.”

Tasty* ~ [1/2]

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Rating: Mature - 18+ only
Summary: Reader prepares the last important details of Chris’ thirty-sixth birthday party, but he can only think of one or two ways he’d like to celebrate this day with her.
Word Count: 2.5k
Genre: Fluff/Mild smut
Warnings: build up; mentions of sex/innuendos, Chris being a dork and a butt guy, slight food play/kink, make out session and language!
Author’s Note: I know, Chris’ birthday was yesterday (June 13th), but I actually wrote so much that I had to split this into two parts. The actual smut will be in the last part hopefully up tomorrow. Once again, happy birthday to the Dorito and enjoy! xx

    “Dodger, come here,” you whispered and the dog padded out of the kitchen, stopping at your feet. You bent and patted his back as his tail wagged excitedly.

    Staring back at your reflection in the mirror of the foyer, you smoothed out your dress - the same summer dress you’d wear on your first date with Chris three years ago - and you applied your cranberry lip balm. You weaved a hand through your hair, pushed up your breasts and you picked up the breakfast tray you’d left on the entryway table.

    “What do you think? He’s going to like it, right?” You asked Dodger and laughed at how ridiculous you sounded. My God, I’m talking to a dog.

    Keep reading

    An accounting of the day of top surgery:

    • I had to stop eating and drinking at 8pm the night before for a surgery scheduled at noon the next day.
    • I showered in the morning, but I was told not to put on any lotion or deodorant or anything so I didn’t, and then I had to put an anti-nausea patch behind my ear before we left the hotel. I brought the medicines I was prescribed just in case I needed them.
    • My mom and I arrived about 10 minutes early, and about 1 and a half hours before the surgery. We sat in the waiting room for a bit, and I got a wristband with my name and birthdate and stuff on it.
    • I didn’t have much paperwork to do because they had gone over that with us yesterday in the pre-op appointment, and over the phone and email in the course of the month leading up to the surgery date. They also gave me a post-op binder to wear a few days after the surgery if I didn’t like the ace bandage, and took my before pictures during the pre-op.
    • I had to take off all my jewelry, which meant 3 rings for me. One of the ring was the one my partner gave me, and it was stuck on my finger because I don’t take it off often and I guess my finger has grown and we had to use lotion to get it off!
    • They left my mom in the waiting room and I had to pee in a cup in the bathroom, which was a little worrying because I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink since 8 pm the night before and it was noon of the next day and I had used the bathroom before leaving the hotel so I was worried there wouldn’t be any in me but it was okay.
    • Then the nurse took me back to a different room, and I changed into a hospital gown and put on tight compression socks then got in a rollaway bed. She chatted with me as she did my blood pressure with the cuff, took my temperature, and asked if I had any allergies or if i had gotten surgery before.
    • I had a squeezey thing on each of my legs sort of like a blood pressure cuff to keep my circulation going well during the surgery. It didn’t hurt, but it was a bit of an odd sensation.
    • The nurse wanted to put the IV in, but I’m very nervous about that that type of thing although I’d never had an IV before so I asked her if she could bring my mom in for moral support, so my mom came. I also got my iPhone and earbuds and listened to my music to help distract me while I held on to my mom’s hand.
    • The nurse was going to put the IV in my hand, but she changed her mind and put it in the crook of my arm because I was anxious about it. The reason she’d put it in the hand usually is because you can move around more that way, and if it’s in your arm you have to keep your arm out straight and relatively still. I was pretty freaked out, but it didn’t hurt much and just putting in the IV was the most anxious or upset I felt during the whole thing.
    • Then the nurse showed us the drains and explained how they worked and stuff. She also went over the post-op instructions and medications.
    • She brought a thing where you were supposed to suck the air in to raise up a stick in it, but I wasn’t able to get it to raise high enough. They gave it to me to take back with us, and said I was supposed to try doing it 9 times an hour after the surgery to keep my lungs from getting collapsed because being in an ace makes it hard to take deep breaths and then the lung things can rub against each other and get irritated and cause pneumonia.
    • The anesthesiologist came and asked me if I had any allergies to medicine, and asked if I did drugs or drank alcohol (which I don’t) and if anyone in my family ever had an issue with anesthesia in the past. He also said that I’d have a breathing tube in during the surgery, which took about 3 hours, and that he’d take it out after and I’d be awake for it but not remember it at all, which is true.
    • A new nurse came in who introduced herself as the nurse who would be there during the whole surgery. She asked me what procedure I was getting, and I said top surgery. I was a bit worried that she didn’t know what was going on, but she had been asking to check with me to be sure we were all on the same page, like a last minute consent check. She told me that the lights would be bright in the operating room, but I don’t remember being in there.
    • Then Dr. Steinwald came in, and I got out of the bed and he drew on my chest with a marker to show me what it would look like after surgery and to give himself an idea of what was being cut where. Then I got back into bed.
    • The anesthesiologist told me that I’d be given Valium in my IV so I would be relaxed but conscious, and then I’d be wheeled to the operating room where I’d have to switch out of the bed and take off the gown and breathe in oxygen from a mask that smelled like a beach ball.
    • I don’t actually remember even leaving the room where I was with my mom, let alone going to the operating room or switching beds or anything. The next thing I knew, it was a few hours later and I was half-asleep in a different room with my mom there.
    • I was wrapped in an ace bandage that I have to keep on for a few more days before I can switch to a compression vest, and I had two drains in.
    • I was pretty nauseous despite the anti-nausea stuff they put in my IV and the nausea patch behind my ear, and I threw up on and off for the next two hours there when I woke up but there wasn’t anything in my stomach because I had to stop eating at 8 pm the night before. They put more anti-nausea stuff in my IV, but it didn’t work.
    • The nurse emptied the drains twice while I was there, but I don’t remember it. I kept falling asleep for like 3 to 10 minutes and then I’d wake up again and not know where I was, and they took my temperature to see if I had a fever and I didn’t.
    • My mom said I was pale and there was a thing on my finger to monitor my oxygen and a blood pressure cuff on. The oxygen levels kept getting low, and the nurse had to wake up me up take deep breaths and I’d do that and fall asleep again. This was happening for the two hours I was in the recovery room.
    • They tried to offer me saltine crackers, ginger ale, and water because people are usually hungry after the operation but I didn’t want it because I was feeling nauseous. I also got two black bands to go on my wrist to help with the nausea.
    • I was in a paper gown, and before we left I had to change in to my clothes, and then a woman took me out to the car in a wheelchair. My mom thought I should have stayed longer, as I was feeling pretty sick although I wasn’t in any pain.
    • I was sick in the car a time or two although I thought I was awake in the car because I had been trying hard not to fall asleep so I wouldn’t get carsick, but my mom says I was pretty much asleep the whole trip.
    • When we got to the hotel, I walked through the hallways with my mom holding on my arm, and when I got to the hotel room I was sick again then got into bed and fell asleep for about 2 hours.
    • I was sick when I woke up again too. Then I had the first dose of pain medication at 7 pm.
    • I texted everyone reassurances that I was okay for a while, then after a bit I tried to look at some apples slices and threw up again. It also turned out that the anti-nausea pill I had swallowed was supposed to go under my tongue.
    • We emptied the bulbs on the drains, and there was a bit more than 30 ccs of blood in each. Then I went back to bed. Mom woke me up to get the next dose of pain medicine at 1 am. I was wary about the Percocet because they said it can make you nauseous and I think it might be making me constipated because I haven’t had to poop yet.  
    • I wasn’t allowed to unwrap the ace bandages or take off the compression socks. After 48 hours I can take off the ace bandages and the gauzey stuff under and put on a compression vest, and in 72 hours I can take off the compression socks. I get to see my chest for the first time later in the week.

    The first day after top surgery:

    • I haven’t thrown up today and I’m not nauseous! 
    • I’m not very hungry either though, but so far I’ve had a bagel and some grapes and a protein fruit shake drink.
    • I feel okay, just kinda tired 
    • I spent a lot of time in bed listening to music, and I got up for a short walk down the street. 
    • I’m not in any pain because of the medication. 
    • I didn’t do the breathing thing yesterday, so I’m trying to do it more often today.
    • I started to take an antibiotic pill today which tastes gross.
    • The compression sock hurt the ball of my left foot because it’s a bit too tight I think. The right foot and leg are doing fine though.
    • It’s going to be some time before I’m up to my usual level of activity because I’m not supposed to do anything that brings my heartrate up for 4 weeks after surgery.
    • I’m feeling optimistic though because years down the line I’m going to have a flat chest and it’ll make the recovery worth it.

    More posts on my top surgery recovery can be found at https://questingqueer.tumblr.com/tagged/my-top-surgery

    I’m happy to try to answer any questions someone might have, but I made a Top surgery page on @transgenderteensurvivalguide so check there before you ask me because there’s a chance your question is covered in that info.