Child's Play (final chapter)
Resorting to the first thing two teenagers would do with the house to themselves, Dan and Phil lay entwined on the sofa watching some comedy show they hadn’t seen before. As suggested, Dan tried not to move much so once he’d found the most comfortable position he stayed in it, which was of course Phil’s lap with his arms around his waist to hold him close. He was pretty much sat between his boyfriend’s legs.
“When did you know for sure?” Dan questioned timidly, half-not-expecting an answer.
“Know what, that I loved you?” Dan nodded his head so Phil continued. “I guess at the hospital, waiting for you to be called. You were just lying there, you know, in my arms, cuddled up in all those fluffy blankets. You looked so cute all bundled up, and when I looked down at you and you looked back up at me with those…that look of just…trust…” Dan turned his head slightly and stared at Phil intimately, waiting for their eyes to meet. “…I knew that’s all I ever wanted. For you to trust me.” Phil glanced to Dan’s stare, not breaking eye contact.
“What does it feel like, to love someone?” Dan cocked his head in interest.
“It feels like home. It feels easy. It feels like the most natural thing I’ve ever done. I look at you and I just love you: I look at your eyes and I love you; I look at your hair and I love you;” Dan watched patiently as Phil’s eyes moved where he mentioned. “I look at your hands and I love you.” He stared at Dan’s mouth. “I look at your lips and I - ”
Dan had leaned forward, closing the short distance between them and connecting their lips gently. Phil’s hand drifted to his hips to guide him as Dan turned himself around on Phil’s lap, straddling his legs. His hands stayed placed on his hips as Dan’s explored upwards, curling over his boyfriend’s shoulders to hold himself still. Then Dan pulled away, face lightly red.
“I could kiss you all day.” He admitted, eyes falling back onto Phil’s lips which were slightly redder than before.
“Then do it.” Phil challenged, tilting his head forward to brush their lips together teasingly. Dan chuckled breathily and met Phil’s lips again, relaxing into his touch. This was beautiful, how free and passionate they could be without fear of bullies or parents or pain. He felt Phil’s lips pull back then small nibbles began on his bottom lip, eliciting a content whimper.
“You’re so good…” Dan breathed against his lips. “H-how?”
Phil grinned. “You’re just sensitive. I could do lots of little things for you; you’d feel so many different things.” Dan whined quietly, wanting to kiss him again. “One day, when we’re all better, I want to explore you.” He adjusted so only the tips of his fingers were touching then played them slowly up Dan’s sides, making him shiver. Cautiously he ran them up and down the prominent line of his spine causing him to arch his back. “I’ll stop, if you want.”
“No.” Dan objected confidently. “Keep going. Please.” He whined, simultaneously flinching away from and leaning into Phil’s touch. Phil smiled as he reconnected their lips, pecking Dan’s shortly and lightly again and again, simply to tease him. This pulled some amused giggles from but they were quickly interrupted by a needy whine as he moved to Dan’s chest, slipping his fingers underneath but only letting them tickle at his nave.
“Can I…” he mused, pulling away only far enough to keep their foreheads together. Dan let out a frustrated noise and dropped his hands to his shirt, tugging it over his head to throw it onto the floor; Phil had seen the scars that covered his body like an infection, he’d seen Dan at his lowest point - he didn’t have to be as body-conscious with Phil anymore. Dan’s hands drifted to Phil’s top button but couldn’t focus on it once Phil’s warm hands were playing up his chest exploratively. Their touch made him shiver as they brushed past his more sensitive spots, barely grazing his nipples which made his jaw fall for a sound to escape.
But it never came. Dan breathed out loudly, jaw still slackened as Phil’s hands trailed back down. “I want to find all your sweet spots, your favourite points on your skin and what you like most to be done to them.” Dan pushed himself forward against Phil’s soft hands. “I want to learn how to work you in the simplest ways and bring out small moans that you can’t help. I want to have you writhing because you love it so much, before I’ve even taken off your jeans.”
“Hmph…” was the only response Phil got as he let his hands explore lower, brushing down Dan’s bum but it wasn’t well received.
“Shh it’s okay, I’m sorry, I won’t do that.” Phil soothed, moving his hands away to encourage Dan to relax again. His muscles had tensed at the touch and forced a short quiet whine from him in discomfort. They’d been through a lot - there were many areas they’d need to step around.
Cautiously he stroked the tips of his fingers down Dan’s thighs. “Sorry,” he mumbled “it’s all nice - just not there, please?” Phil nodded in understanding as he leaned up to catch Dan’s lips briefly, encouraging him to lean back down to meet them again, this time for longer. As his hands timidly travelled towards Dan’s crotch he brought a hand down to push them away. “Don’t want…” he started once he’d pulled away, “not ready…”
“Okay.” Phil understood, drawing his hands back. “We won’t.”
But Dan’s hands took his to lead them back to his hips. “I don’t want to stop, I just don’t want to go that far.” He worked at Phil’s shirt buttons again. “Like you said…we can explore, right?”
Phil nodded with a soft smile on his lips and placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders, thumbs caressing the collarbone. “Can I…?” He implored, nudging Dan’s neck playfully with his nose. His response was a quiet positive sound and a slight tilt of the head, so Phil gently brushed his lips against him before pressing his lips down on the warm, smooth skin. An unexpected gasp left Dan’s mouth as Phil started placing various kisses across his neck, moving down to his collar and up to his jaw before kissing back to the centre.
At that point he’d undone the last button and gently guided it down Phil’s arms, letting it drop to the floor. Eyes fixed on his chest, Dan led his hands onto Phil’s bare torso and worked them up, eliciting a content breath from him which was hot against his skin. His fingers trembled nervously and they ran over Phil’s body inexpertly, but he was trying so hard to do what he thought would feel good, so the soft moans against his neck were reassuringly rewarding.
And that’s how they passed the night; with timid touches and stolen kisses, with a warm tanned chest lightly against a warm pale torso, steady fingertips across trembling hands to small fingers entwining, warm lips against soft ones, nervous fingers through silky locks, a cream forehead against a sepia one and azure eyes staring into copper ones. All as if, for a moment, nothing else mattered. Not when they grew tired and stretched, not when they fell into each other’s arms, not when their heartbeats gently pulsed in unison and their breathing softly sang in harmony. Not even when their eyes floated closed and their consciousness drifted away for a night.
They awoke the same, to that new but addictive warmth and feel and smell of the other, to their delicate hold and gentle breath and soft eyes. Breaking apart they yawned the same, stretched the same and giggled the same.
Then the phone disturbed them.
Phil held it to his ear. “Hello?”
“Hello. This is Tiffany, the officer who took you home yesterday? Is this Dan or Phil?” The voice was welcomingly familiar.
“Yes, I’m Phil.” He turned to Dan and shrugged his shoulders.
“I’m here to inform you about some recent findings. Dan’s father has uploaded incriminating videos of yesterday’s events to a website known for holding pornographic content. The videos are explicit, we have taken them down, but the videos hold code which we can trace back to the area where they were uploaded from, giving us the location of Dan’s father.
"However the same account also holds videos from over ten years ago, between him and another woman. This brings forward new evidence, so we have opened up an old case. We’re sending someone now to bring you two to the station.”
“Why?” Phil asked, trying to cram all that into his head within thirty seconds.
“We need to question Dan; the cold case is his mother’s death.”
Phil finished the call as quickly as possible, setting the phone down and turning to Dan. “Who was that?”
“The policewoman who drove us home last night. She’s got new evidence.” Phil’s voice was hardly above a whisper.
“New evidence? Like what? Did they tell you?”
Phil nodded slowly. “Your dad posted the videos.”
Dan blinked. “…What videos? I don’t remember any videos…”
A lump blocked Phil’s throat. “He set up cameras in the room we were in. He filmed what they did and put it on the internet.”
Dan’s eyes flew wide. “He - what?”
“They’ve been taken off now, but they can track where he is with them. Now get seated, they’re going to be here in five minutes to pick us up.” Phil finished, grabbing their clothes.
“What? Why? Phil - ”
“What happened to your mum?” Phil questioned sharply making Dan freeze.
“Huh?” Was the only response he could make.
“She’s dead, yes?” Dan didn’t move. “They never found out how. They’re going to question you about her.” Dan’s hands began trembling. “Dan - what’s wrong?”
“C-can’t tell them what happened. Never could. I can’t say it.” He forced out; it’d been thirteen years, he needed to talk at some point.
“Why not? Do you know what happened?” Phil rushed over to him and held his shaking hands in his own to calm him. Dan nodded. “Were you there?” He nodded again, shaking a little more.
“I was f-five. I shouldn’t have seen it but h-he wanted me to be s-scared of him.”
“Shh…” Phil soothed. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s not me who needs to know.”
But Dan could tell him. He couldn’t ever say a word to anyone about it but now he trusted Phil because Phil wouldn’t tell his dad. Phil loved him. But the police were making sure his dad went to prison for what he’s done, they wouldn’t let him hurt Dan. Maybe he should trust them, too…
He breathed deeply, sitting in the interview room with a couple of female officers. His hands were locked between his knees to stop their shaking as he opened his mouth and told the story from years ago that was as clear as yesterday in his mind. They nodded and made notes as he kept talking, kept mumbling and stuttering and gasping for breath when he’d finally forced it all out. ‘You can trust them’ he thought to himself, 'they’re going to lock him away for this. You’re doing the right thing.’
When he was allowed out Phil fell into his arms, fingers on his shoulders tightly and breathing him in simply because his eyes were red and wet.
“Well done,” he praised, “well done, I’m so fricking proud of you.”
Dan didn’t say a word, he’d said enough for today, and simply hugged tighter back. Sure, they weren’t psychologically healthy, and from a young age they’d both been scarred and hurt and taught the wrong lessons about love. It wasn’t pleasing someone who loves you, it wasn’t wrong between some. It was hope, and trust, and not giving up when everything gets ripped apart. It didn’t falter when they were apart or fail when they saw each other at their worst. It strengthened when one was hurt and other could do everything to help them. It sustained through a journey from purgatory to hell and still made it back even stronger than before.
It was what Phil felt when he looked at Dan.
It was what Dan finally felt when he held Phil.
I hope you enjoyed that guys! It was difficult to write but was so worth it in the end, right?
Let me know what you think, I love getting messages from you guys (it makes me feel noticed aww).
I will keep writing, there’s a oneshot on the way this weekend so look forward to that! (Friends with Benefits Phan??)
PLEASE KEEP READING it has meant the world that you’ve taken the time to read this and I hope you’re enjoy any future (and possibly better written and less scarring) works I’ll be writing.