too-old-to-be-that-sexy

anonymous asked:

Matthew Crawley, David Haller, David Collins, Nick Guest, Lancelot, and the Beast

send 6 characters/people and i’ll tell you who i would:

Awwww…..  

  • do the sexy love™ with Matthew Crawley…always and forever my one true love

Originally posted by haslemere


  • sacrifice myself for: Nick Guest. He’s too innocent for this bad old world. He needs protection

Originally posted by haslemere


  • kick (some sense into…): Lancelot. I mean really…haha

Originally posted by maleklovers


  • take to prom: the Beast. He can dance

Originally posted by partofyourtaleasoldastime


  • abandon in jurassic park: David Collins… that’s an adventure I’d watch

Originally posted by midnightvea


  • push off a bridge David Haller…he’s an omega level mutant. Pretty sure he’d be ok…lol

Originally posted by andsowewalkalone


Also completely gratuitous use of my favorite DS gif…. possibly ever. 😊💕💕

anonymous asked:

I've always thought he was somewhere in his thirties.

Hey anon! Yeah me too. I mean I am not sayin Norman is old (man is damn sexy as a fine wine), but Daryl’s character in s.1-4 was more that of an attitude of a man going through his late twenties, first love, first loss etc… becoming a man. My guess is 33-ish then. Has Kirkman ever talked about his? Or Gimple?

Thanks Anon!

When you realise that literally whoever they cast as Catwoman is going to result in some kind of drama… She will either be too young for some, too old for others, not the right race, because some people think Catwoman is white, some think she’s South American and some want another black Catwoman. And of course the actresses body will be criticised, like with what happened to Gal, because people are the worst, some will say that she’s not “sexy” enough and then others will say she’s too sexualised, or it’ll be like with Amber Heard and people will just say that she’s the worst actress in the world… why can’t we just have nice things.

‘Where Fix has the inspired inkling that his friend Carianne might be a pirate, but is too drunk to care.’

Or ‘Where Carianne gets her wish and is surrounded by shinies and sexy people.’

My dear rogue Captain Fix and his old navy friends: pub-owner Nelsora (fighter human) & loot-connoisseur Captain Carianne (bard tiefling), celebrating the new year with booze, shinies and good company. 

Have a great 2017 and may all your wishes come true!!

Jingle Bell Rock Indeed - One Shot

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

For you anon - Hope you don’t mind me making it Christmassy, kinda in the spirit.

Summary - Christmas is a special time for everyone. But it’s not the 40s anymore, and Bucky isn’t quite sure how sexy a Santa outfit could be. Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Smutty smut smut and fluff of course.
Too many words.

And I can’t listen to Jingle Bell Rock anymore, It was on repeat whilst I was writing certain parts. >.>

Keep reading

Oops……….dick slip. Well Saturday Morning is really staring to pan out for. This is the secound hot young boy dick slip in the same park in a little more than a hour. Oh my Fucking God this guy also has on silky blue shorts and a gray T-shirt just like the last boy Jonas. The only difference is that Jonas was Circumcised and this hot boy is uncircumcised. Wow I get one of each 1 circumcised white boy penis and 1 uncircumcised white boy penis. The second difference is that Jonas had a unintentional dick slip and this boy totally dick sliped me intentionally when I sat down in front of him. Guys meet Kyle he is a 21 year old horny white boy who came to the park this day for two reasons one too jog and to exercise and the other more pressing reasons was to have sex and get off with another man. Kyle saw me as he jogged past me he turned around and totally and very Obviously cruised me as he passed me. I was walking the same Direction that sexy young hot Kyle was jogging. He jogged about 100 more feet passed me then stopped and sat in the grass facing me walking toward him. As I got closer to where Kyle was sitting in the grass next to the sidwalk I obviously slowed down to cruise Kyle as I approached Kyle I stopped within 3 feet of him I looked down at Kyle to break the ice with small talk but before I could get even one word out I looked down at Kyle to say hello and before I could say it Kyle Plulled His big soft Perfect Beautiful Shaved Uncircumcised white boy penis out of the right leg of his silky blue sexy shorts. I was shocked that he just pulled it out without saying a word to me only after seeing me for the first time ever just 5 minutes before as he jobgged past me. Fastest cruise ever in my life and I’ve done alot of cruising in my life. So I look down at him he immediately pulls his incredible uncircumcised penis out I think my jaw dropped down and before I can take a breath he reaches down grabbs his uncircumcised penis and pulls his foreskin back for me to see his incredible sexy big pink head glands Oh My Fucking God this Boy is Moving Fast and right on the public side walk so I said nothing grabbed my crotch and walked over to the woods where I just Fucked Jonas and Kyle instantly stood up wasting no time and followed me side by side to the same exact spot where I just Fucked Jonas not even a hour earlier. We fucked for 2 hours straight it was so fucking hot. Even hotter than sex with jonas an hour earlier and that sex was awesome!!! God Damn I Love These boys. Fucking Hot Dude’s!!! God I love this park!!!

Hamilton characters at Halloween

Alex: likes buying outrageous decorations, plays scary pranks on people (especially Jefferson and Burr)

Burr: not super into it, thought it was fun as a kid but kinda grew out of it and doesn’t really like to dress up/ go to parties

Eliza: makes all those really cute pinterest crafts and treats for all her friends, hosts adorable parties with decorations that are the opposite of scary

Angelica: gets super into dressing up, but refuses to wear any costume that had “sexy” in the title bc she has standards

Peggy: still kinda wants to go trick-or-treating even if she seems too old for it, precious bean

John: doesn’t get super into dressing up or going to parties, but really likes the monster movies that are always on TV and makes Alex watch them with him

Lafayette: literally his favorite holiday of all time, way too into it, needs to bring it down a couple of notches (once he almost got the cops called on him when he tried to have a celebrational “Halloween fireworks show” even tho all of his friends told him that’s not a thing that exists)

Herc: likes to make his own costumes, they usually turn out better than everybody else’s (if there’s a costume contest you already know who’s gonna win it)

Dad™Washington: is super protective of everyone at parties, offers to drive people home if they’re drunk, but doesn’t really like the actual holiday

Jefferson: is that guy™ that sits outside his house in a costume that you know is not an actual scarecrow but you walk up to the door anyway and he jumps out at you

Madison: doesn’t like to go out that much, but watches The Nightmare Before Christmas religiously and can quote almost the entire movie

King™George: says he doesn’t like Halloween bc he’s more into Christmas but really he just doesn’t like it bc he gets scared easily

Maria: is literally that group of people from mean girls who wear normal clothes and some form of animal ears (”What are you supposed to be?” “I’m a mouse, duh”)

Phillip: likes going to haunted houses/ cornmazes/ etc, sometimes he goes part of the way in and then pretends he’s one of the scarers bc he thinks people’s reactions are funny

things i've heard in the band hallway: a masterlist

“if you say silly one more Goddamn Time I will shove my silly clarinet up your ass”

“marching band is like a cult. except more sexual”

“I don’t want to look just sexy. I want to look: pin me against a wall and talk bandy to me sexy”

“merchin’ bernd is lerf”

*a five year old, asking our pic player*
“where’s the rest of it?”

“congratulations, you finally suck”

*band director, talking to a clarinet player*
“you know, Brandon’s too confusing of a name. your name is now Johan”

“IF YOU PLAY SONIC BOOM ONE MORE TIME I WILL EVISCERATE YOU”

“oh you’re so cool, with your mirror baritone selfie”

*saxophone player, looking into the distance, in a southern accent*
“my diaphragm hurts”

“WHY ARE YOU RUBBING HER ELBOW”

“okay, so it started out by arguing about who had the better ass…”

*band director, addressing the band*
“you guys are like lemurs. you follow me around, and when I jump a cliff, you do too. except, without the cliff part”

*talking to a Mello player who had a concussion*
“I guess you could say you play perCUSSION now”

“it could be worse, the tuba could be on fire”

“okay but this section shouldn’t be HEY! it should be more like heeeeey”

“I pronounce it peep or peh-pay depending on the weather, the position of Mars, and how many caribou can fit Ito 3.7 square miles”

“if we’re a family can I be the distant estranged cousin from France”

“if you don’t feel like you could pass out right now you’re not doing it right.”

My ocs (*゚ー゚)ゞ

I was talking to a transgirl a while ago who passes extremely well and she was saying how much she loves it when boys eye her up on the street.

That really rubbed me the wrong way. I remember being 12/13 walking home from school and panicking every time boys and men even looked at me or walked too close to me. I had some creepy little boy about 8 years old brush his hand up the inside of my thigh and ass when he walked past. I felt disgusting. I remember some creep who had to be about 18-19 walking closer as he walked past and whispering ‘hey sexy’ in my ear. I was 12. It’s terrifying for females but seems to be exciting and affirming for males.

Avengers Preference- What Happens After A Mission

Clint needs to let go of some tension after a mission ;) so post mission usually encounters sexy time. Not really hard or for long because you’re both pretty tired but some kind of sexy time usually ensues. 

Bucky is a cute little super solider who is over 80 years old and the guy needs a nap. You usually end up snuggling with him wherever he’s decided to drop out for the night. 

Steve and you usually end up going into your room and just sit down relaxing. Sometimes sitting apart and talking a bit and other times snuggled with no words. 

Sam usually wants to end the mission with a drink so him, bucky and you (sometimes steve too) end up having a few together post mission. 

Netizens React to girl groups

*pretty group*- “they can’t sing”
*talented group*- “they lack visuals”
*dance group*- “they can’t sing live”
*vocal group*-“they can’t dance live”
*Well rounded group*-“they’re overrated”
*energetic group*- “they’re such attention whores”
*quiet group*- “they’re so stuck up and rude”
*cute group*- “they’re too old to act that way”
*sexy group*-“they have gotten so trashy these days”
*group that does cute and sexy*- “those girls are such sly foxes I hate them”

I’m going through YOI withdrawal, and since I didn’t do this for eps 1 - 9, I figured I might as well fill my empty Wednesdays from now on doing this until I reach ep 9…so, without further ado:

Scenes I loved in episode 4 of Yuri on Ice…(aka the episode where finally, FINALLY, Victuuri became my OTP forever and ever)

Yeah, like I was ever going to NOT include this scene. At this point, I was starting to not really care if it was all just queerbaiting in the end because these moments were just too crazy sexy HOT. 

I just love how awkward and funny and again, crazy sexy HOT this is.

Their reactions never fail to make me laugh. Especially the old man. Why is he praying to them? Wait, now that I really think about, I guess he was right. Hell yeah, old man, you go and worship the sexiness of Victuuri!  

Loved the whole rejection sequence but this was especially sad cute.

You know, I initially misinterpreted this scene as Kubo-sensei’s way of letting us know nothing will become of this ship, that all that came before was indeed just fruitless fanservice, especially with the way that Yuuri so vehemently rejected the notion of Victor being his lover. HOWEVER, after going with them on their journey to the end and then coming back to revisit this scene with new eyes, I realized I had completely misunderstood Yuuri’s reaction the first time I watched it. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t WANT or DESIRE Victor that way, but more that he didn’t even DARE to imagine Victor in that manner because he was still trying to see Victor as something less than an idol, a god. But this moment was in a way the turning point for that, and I love this scene so much now as a result of it. 

And this is the moment I decided, I don’t even give two Fucks if all this is just queerbaiting: I love these two completely. Victuuri became my OTP right then and there. There is just something so sweet and endearing and REAL about Yuuri’s gesture. I just fell in love. Looking back now and in consideration of the beach scene above, I think this is also the moment Victor finally became all too human to Yuuri. The rift between the mere human and the god was sealed. 

I just love this moment. I’m not even sure why. 

I fell in love with the Yuri on Ice piece the first time I heard it. I am not even kidding when I say I feel like crying each time I listen to his theme because it is just so beautiful. In addition, every time I rewatch these sequence of scenes that the theme is playing over, which intercuts between the two Yuris practicing their programs while also exposing the worries and doubts that haunt them as athletes, my heart just clenches up with heavy emotion. It just slays me.

Beautiful ballerina Yurio slays me too. 

This moment broke my heart a little. 

Note: Strangely enough, after this episode, I actually took a break from watching YOI because I remembered thinking something along the lines of: “ok, I love them now. Thoroughly love them to bits and pieces. So in order to prepare myself from being heartbreakingly disappointed because I am 100% SURE Victuuri would never be canon, I’ll just wait until the show ends, find out just HOW big of a disappointment I am going to have to deal with–by, I don’t know, reading spoilers of the ending, I guess–and THEN I’ll come back and continue where I left off.” Look I’m not saying any of this makes any sense or SHOULD make any sense, but that’s the insanity I was functioning under.   So yeah, I stopped watching for like two weeks, and then when the day of episode 7 rolled around, I woke up that morning and decided on a whim to look up the YOI tag on Tumblr, and I think the first three posts I saw were just the words “VICTUURI IS CANON”, in large, bold print, and that was all it took. I realized it was time to catch the freak up. Thank God, I only saw the text and not the actual screenshot of what happened so I was able to enjoy everything with relatively unspoiled eyes. So basically, episodes 5 - 7, I actually watched them for the first time in one sitting. But to give them the proper respect that they deserve and for the sake of this trip down memory lane, I will still give them each their own week for the next 3 weeks. 

Eastern Europe’s Halloween

Russia: what do you mean I’m too old to trick-or-treat bitch there’s no age limit on free candy or fun 

Ukraine: oh dear I forgot to buy candy here kid have a potato

Belarus: the next person who says they’re dressed up as a sexy anything will be shot

Latvia: russia confiscated all my candy to make sure there wasn’t any LSD or razor blades in it and all I want is a little piece of chocolate

Estonia: WHO BROUGHT UP THE SKELETON WAR GUYS I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES

Lithuania: I feel like tonight has been anything but productive and quite frankly I’m considering doing shots until I pass out

Poland: so far I have made eleven costume changes. the next one is in exactly eight minutes

Hungary: lithuania and me are drinking in the bathroom and talking about sheep come join us

Czech Republic: I’m the scariest thing in the world; the pokemon go song kid. I PLAY POKEMON GO EVERY DAY

Slovakia: LOOK AT THE WIENER DOG DRESSED UP LIKE A HOTDOG OH MY GOD HOW A D O R A B L E

Romania: I hate all of you poser vampires you have no idea what being a real goth boi is like

Moldova: romania punched a kid because he stole my candy and now I have twice the candy and romania might be getting arrested

Bulgaria: I’m just going to sit on my roof and throw candy at kids who come up to my door because why not

(( @russiashenanigans @ukraineshenanigans @belarusshenanigans @aphlatviasuggestion @estoniashenanigans @lithuaniashenanigans @poland-shenanigans @hungarysuggestion @czech-shenanigans @aph-slovakia-shenanigans @romaniashenanigans @moldovasuggestion @me ))

companions finding a pin up magazine, but after a few flips, they see sole in a revealing outfit! (who keeps the magazine and who asks about it too

Request from a cool anon, thanks for this :)

While rooting around an old cellar in sanctuary Mac and Hancock came across an old world pin up magazine, thinking it would be an enjoyable laugh for the whole crew the pair raced back to the lounge, to show off their find, only for them all to find a rather sexy spread of sole smugly lounging on some velvet red pillows, their was a mixture of amusement, embarrassing and just a hint of excitement at the surprising find.  

Cait: When her eyes scanned across the scrumptious position of sole she erupted in a cackle of laughter, “I’ve not had a good fucking laugh like this in a long time, although got to admit, sole is looking sexy as sin in this”. She doesn’t admit to the flutter of attraction that flashes through her eyes, but she does begin to non directly tease sole about the images, slyly commenting “practicing for something?” every time sole sheds a piece of clothing or bends down. 

Curie: She’s in shock, a rose pink bloom speckles across her cheeks at the reveling image, “Thiz? is sole? oh no! we must not tell them and respect their privacy!”. Although not admitting it to sole she does lectures the others on the beauty and art form of the images sole is in, it kills her to not ask sole to pose for her for a drawing. 

Codsworth: “Oh my!!” He jokingly lights his flame thrower, exaggerating the hotness of the photos for the others amusements, “I have to admit, if I was human I might of had some embarrassing reactions to that, even if they are my master” He chuckles

Danse: He flushes with complete embarrassment, averting his eyes everywhere but the image of sole, it makes him uncomfortable seeing his fellow comrade, so, so naked. While continuing to look away he comments on how the others where invading soles privacy, he backs out of the room to try and control his flushing cheeks and other issues. 

Deacon: “woahhhh there baby now that, right there is the most perfect peach of an ass I’ve ever seen”. He snatches the magazine marveling at it while childishly giggling, “hey, hey guys anybody want to get a shot of me in a sexy pose”. The winks at them before making porn music noises and stripping until he’s yelled at. He pesters sole for a new spread teasingly ever other week after.

Dogmeat:  ( Borks at the commotion, maybe this was an important paper he should bring sole while they where in their meeting)

Hancock: He’s snatched the magazine for himself, shamelessly eating up the eye candy and making noises that would cause nightmares to the others in the room, “hey, you guys want to leave me and the magazine alone”, his tone is enough to leave the others backing away cringing. He shows the magazine to sole, telling them the picture would be largely displayed in his mayoral office. He always keeps the skin mag in his back pocket.

Nick: When he notices the sexy human is sole he feels guilty for eyeing them up like that, he rubs the back of his neck embarrassed and walks straight to sole to tell them what he has seen. “I’m not judging kid and honestly at first I was really enjoying the view but wow when I realized it was you..” He rubs his head mortified but ends up in fits of laughter with sole over the whole situation

Maccready: He shamefully gets a little bit to excited by the images and has to leave to er, get rid of that excitement, he constantly pesters Hancock to share the magazine saying he wants it to laugh at, “Come on I just want to laugh at it, nothing else…pleaseee”. He is always unsuccessful in his attempts 

Preston: He like cait bursts into laughter, joking and acting like a child, “general booty reporting for duty!!” He chokes out between laughing fits, he braces himself agaisnt the wall, trying to find composure, “seriously guys we shouldn’t tell them I think you’d be pissed with us and probably embarrassed”. It takes him a week to be able to talk to sole again without giggling

Piper: “woah there blue now that’s a front page article”. She giggles cheekily spinning round and mocking up a fake news story where they could feature the picture in the publik occurrence, she really enjoys seeing this different side of sole and knows how much fun she can have at their expense. She tells sole jokingly if they don’t give her the last nuka cola she’ll feature them under the headline “Boston’s own blue booty”

Strong: When strong saw all the others gathered round the paper he decides to look fir himself, he was annoyed to find that even before the war sole was not wearing Armour and even worse not many clothes!!! He’d have a few choice words for them later about how useless a “bunny tail” was 

X6-88: “This is an old world form of pornographic material am I right”. A slight smile creeps on his face as he momentarily flips up his glasses for a better look, “This could be a good study research for old world ways”. He lies, secretly wanting the magazine for himself, seemingly unsuccessful as the other companions tell him no. He approaches sole afterwards telling them how professional looking they where in their pornographic pictures. 

Monsta x Descriptions

shownu

  • Leader Robot 
  • Daddy material 
  • Shy and Awkward af
  • Dresses like a rich white boy
  • Smooth dancer
  • Is really a teenage girl 
  • Takes care of very dumb kids 

Wonho

  • ABS ABS ABS
  • Calls himself sexy monster 
  • Tells people the “benefits” of eating Ramen
  • Cries over everything 
  • Laughs really weirdly
  • Flirts with everyone.. even with babies tbh

Minhyuk

  • 7 yr old with ADHD
  • Talks too loudly and is always screaming
  • Forgets what he is doing all the time 
  • Attention span of a goldfish… srsly..
  • Hates cucumber and is starting a protest against growing them
  • Basically a mess at life 
  • Dropkick u if u eat cucumber near him

Kihyun

  • Starship vocalist
  • Mom friend
  • Somehow both cute and sexy???
  • Will eat chicken at the beach smhh
  • Voice of an angel 
  • Very smol mom of 6 idiots
  • Grandpa moves 

Hyungwon

  • Tall as a tree
  • Looks 20 but is a 60 yr old man
  • Sleeps all day and still looks exhausted
  • Hates all his band memebers  
  • Small face and is a model 
  • very weak 
  • Kermit the frogs younger bro

Jooheon

  • Rapping monsta
  • Giant baby teddy bear
  • Is scared of anything that has more than four legs and crawls or fly’s.. Basically scared of everything
  • Amazing thick thighs..
  • Looks tough but is very soft
  • Two people in one boi and no idea which one u will meet 

Changkyun

  • Maknae  Mr.cool rapper
  • Prankster/ playful little fucker 
  • Says relly bad jokes that make no sense 
  • Can’t be cute bc he’s too good for it 
  • Either doesn’t talk or never shuts up tbh
  • Has a hard time speaking both Korean and English
  • Bitch face