too-much-confidence

anonymous asked:

first kiss in canonverse? for eruri fluff prompt

boy howdy anon you know the way to my heart. if only it didn’t take me a week to write 3 pages. read on ao3  if my tiny baby font is too much for you

He finds Erwin on the roof, eyes fixed on the sky, on the stars that formed patterns with names that Erwin had told him once before, information that had been lost almost as quickly as it came. The mission had been a disaster, and perhaps it was always going to be, like the ones before it and the ones to come. Somehow in the end, it’s always them left, breathing and whole, and Levi tries not to think about how that could one day change.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, coming to stand beside the man who towers over him, powerful and strong even when he’s worn down to the bone and weighted with a world of burdens he never shares. Always the commander, rarely just another man. Levi tilts his head up in an attempt to catch a gaze that won’t meet his own.

“I was waiting for you.” Erwin says, voice soft, the chink in the mask that leaves Levi waiting on baited breath for something more because when Erwin speaks it sounds like some kind of admission, like he’s telling him something secret and forbidden. A beat, the smallest silence seems to drag on for hours between them until he swallows hard, peering down over the edge at the cobblestone far below.

“Tch. Shouldn’t have wasted your time. I don’t come up here much anymore.”

“But you’re here now.” The smallest silence, the smallest distance between them and Levi aches to let his hand stray, to close the few inches between his fingers and Erwin’s, to hold on to something warm and real.

“Yeah. I guess so.” He considers even the quickest brush, something almost accidental, something he can carry with him until he finds an excuse to let himself linger– to brush a hair back into place, that brief contact when Erwin will take a cup from his hand, a teasing nudge. When he lifts his head, Erwin has turned, back towards the sky, blue eyes trailing over him, picking him apart piece by piece, unreadable as ever. He looked down again, face burning as an angry blush creeps up his neck. “Shouldn’t you be kicking your ass in your office by now?”

Erwin gives out a quiet laugh that does nothing to ease the red in Levi’s cheeks or nauseating pounding in his chest. They’re close enough that Levi can smell the cologne he wears, strong and smoky, a gift from the wife of a noble who liked him a bit too much, if anyone were to ask Levi’s opinion in the matter. Still, the scent leaves him dizzy, his fingers curling towards his palm to keep them from reaching out. Nails pressed into skin, a little pain to keep his head on straight.

“I thought I’d kick my ass where I could get some fresh air instead.”

“Productive of you.”

“Yes, I thought so.” Levi hardly has to lift his gaze to see the soft smile that tugs at Erwin’s lips, the quiet break from the hardened, commanding mold that could break the man beneath it. Just another man, with limbs that can be torn apart and a heart that can stop beating as quickly as any other. He clenches his fist a little tighter.

“Why were you waiting for me anyway? Forget how to take a shit on your own or something?”  

“I suppose I was seeking out comfort.” Levi could have laughed. For a moment he thought he might, but his heart hammered harder, his breath came out shorter. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, and then back again.

“From me?”

“Who else? You’ve always been my source of comfort. I rely on you for it… perhaps more than I should.” He doesn’t look up– he won’t look up. Not until large, calloused fingers brush against his chin, guiding him until their eyes meet, Levi’s wide and Erwin’s burning and bright. “You’re… you hold me together.”

He means to step back, to turn before he embarrasses himself, before Erwin can realize that with every moment Levi mends and stitches, he unravels, that there’s only so much of him left that he hasn’t already given away. “Well somebody has to babysit you,” He mutters, voice weak. He means to push but Erwin pulls, hand trailing from his jaw to his cheek as the other raises to cup his face, holding it like it’s something precious, something sacred and it’s nothing if not confusing. Levi has never been sacred or precious, has never been anything but a weapon, a tool, a sloppy string of glue to hold the world together. “Erwin.”

Blue eyes only stare, considering, lingering on lips that part underneath their heavy gaze before darting away. For a moment Levi thinks Erwin will let go then, that he’ll realize what it is he’s doing, what it is Levi wants, that this is all some strange and irreparably awkward misunderstanding.

Soft lips against his forehead say otherwise, Erwin’s hulking frame stooped and bent. Levi stands frozen, rigid, a fleeting thought wondering if he might throw up or maybe even drop dead right then and there because he’s never felt his knees go weak like this before and every last gasping breath has been knocked from his chest entirely, and when he lifts onto his toes, eyes slipping shut as pathetic instinct takes over and allows him to sink, he thinks that this is probably either a cruel dream or a horrible idea. Cold night air hits his cheek where a hand had been only a moment ago, a hand that somehow finds it’s way to his waist, and it’s only then that Levi is able to breath again.

“Erwin,” He says again, frowning up at a face he can’t quite read, nearly perfectly posed as always, but the hand at his waist gives the smallest tremble. He’ll give Erwin an out even if it destroys him, if that’s what he wants, pretend this never happened and keep his twitching fingers and dumb and desperate longing to himself while there’s still time– before he gives what’s left to give. “This is fucking stupid.”

He wants something clear, something he can take and run with. Erwin is sure of many things but he’s never so sure of himself. It’s easy to forget, until he’s staring that uncertainty in the face. Still, those hands never leave him, and he finds himself leaning in to the large open palm that continues to cup his face, large fingers brushing against his cheek, his lips, the tip of his nose. This is fucking stupid.

“I often feel a little stupid around you,” Erwin says at last, the words dripping slowly from his tongue like a confession from a sinful man, and Levi thinks he could tell him until they’re old and gray that those little confessions mean nothing because he’s done nothing wrong and never tire of it. He can feel the hold begin to loosen, doubt coming in to take away whatever this is as Erwin opens his mouth to speak again, to form some kind of apology, to turn away. It’s soft and it’s subtle and it’s all he can do– lifting again to press a fleeting kiss to Erwin’s jaw– but it’s enough. It keeps them there until morning.

idk what in the world..

i never go into the tags but then i see ihs having much too bloated confidence (lmao wtf) and irs being gloomy (just bc they didnt get their reunion, im actually massively glad we didnt get any bc im an asshole).

Srsly. ichigo doesn’t reciprocate xxxhime’s feelings at all. not at all. Deluded ihs say ichigo has already reciprocated xxxhime’s feelings. Based on what? they say it’s bc of her titty dress. they say it’s bc he has finally realized how important she is to him. i just — i feel very sorry for the state of their minds. every sane reader understands that every significant, positive change ichigo has felt positively throughout the manga was directly influenced by rukia. And he is going to put all that below a pair of titties? Just how in the world are ih fans this deluded, how are they this bloated with confidence and conviction? Lmao. I’ll tell u.

orgs’ first “argument” is that u dont have to fall in love with the person who has changed your world in a big way. 

i always find it funny they make this claim, bc if xxxhime were the one who changed ichigo’s world instead, they would be singing a different tune. Whose words did ichigo quote to isshin? If it were xxxhime, they would have been celebrating. But ofc, it wasnt her, so they ignore this chapter completely. They act like the scene doesnt exist. 

Whose abduction caused ichigo such anguish that his despair for that incident was ranked only below his mother’s death? was it xxxhime’s abduction? no, it was rukia’s. for years and years, ih fans have always, always claimed that ichigo looked so much more depressed when xxxhime was taken away compared to when rukia was taken away, that he looked like he was so thoroughly broken, his world crumbled, CRUMBLED!!! 

and then mere weeks ago they were proven wrong. It was glorious. It was hilarious. it was just as we argued, just as we have known from reading the manga, just as expected. rukia being taken was a very hurtful blow to ichigo. he cried in the rain. he screamed. there was a full black page. if xxxhime were the one featured in the despair panel, or if she were the one who changed his world, they would jump on that like hyenas. Lmao. but sucks to be them, kubo has never even once done that for xxxhime. 

their second “argument” was that ichigo became a monster for xxxhime. 

i don’t know why they’re still saying this. ichigo’s zan, in the royal realm, had already, flatly told him that THAT event was explicitly caused by zan’s desire to protect ichigo, not xxxhime. did those ih ppl even read this shit? 

Remember that time when ihs had their buttocks burst into flames when it seemed ichigo was going to stay in ss? they cried, moaned and wailed about his “humanity” that he was forced to give up. but they didn’t have a problem when he was forced to lose his humanity by turning into a monster to  “protect xxxhime” ????? they didn’t have a problem when he hated that he had to lose his humanity to win that fight??? they didn’t have a problem when ichigo had never once felt joyously victorious throughout his battles in hm and fkt?

alas, he didn’t lose his “humanity” to protect xxxhime. zan told him that it was himself, who came out to protect ichigo. 

their third “argument” was that kubo gave their ship a lot of development in this arc, just to show how well xxxhime complements him 

….lol, again? They make it seem like xxxhime is the only person to receive such development, when the reality is, she’s abysmally late in receiving it. Ichigo has already fought side by side with many of the main “nakamas” prior to this arc. he has already teamed up with rukia from day 1 in eradicating hollows. he teamed up with ishida later on to take down menos grande. in a flashback when chad was fighting shunsui in ss, it was revealed that ichigo has teamed up with chad in their middle school days to take down bullies. what has…xxxhime even done up to now? lmao. she didn’t even help in her own arc. she screamed for ichigo to save her and regretted it. do u not agree her development has come pitifully late at 670 chapters? she won’t even be shown in the final chapter, it will definitely close off with ichigo and rukia. 

so i’m not at all joking when i ask, what have they been reading all this time? are they saying all these characters DO NOT complement ichigo? or are they saying that they DO complement ichigo, and therefore ALL of these pairings have a chance? they get some pages of xxxhime and ichigo fighting together, and they want to say that it helps to bolster their relationship at a romantic level, but when other people receive the same kind of treatment, they insist those are strictly non-romantic. 

they say xxxhime’s love is canon bc it is known and it has been verbalized. has gin and ran’s feelings been verbalized? did they actually say ‘i love u’? did ran ever had an outpour of emotions where she explicitly states that she ‘loves’ gin? she really didn’t. in fact, crying over gin and worrying over gin, thinking about gin and their days together – these are things rukia has already done when it comes to ichigo. like rukia, ran has never verbalized her feelings explicitly. but people are so ready to accept that gin and ran are in love? or are ihs going to change their tune again?

ichiruki already has good teamwork. both ichigo and rukia have an unequivocal amount of trust. their bond is unbreakable and unsurpassable by other characters. not even xxxhime could come in between them. what are ihs gloating about, exactly? ichigo and rukia are already each other’s most important persons. they already have all of that. a romantic progression is only natural. but ihs? xxxhime still cant fit herself into ichigo’s world. she does help him a bit like all the others, but she can’t help him the way rukia has helped him. and they want to call her the “complementary” half to ichigo? looolzz. this is really funny, 24k gold.

their other stupid “arguments” include: 

* xxxhime’s love was constant throughout the series, her character needs resolution

i would have offered them my sympathies, bc kubo has been so shit to their fave by making her entire character revolve only around one boy, but i’m all too aware of how shit kubo has also been to other characters. therefore xxxhime/ih fans arent special by a long shot.

aizen had been that constant “i know it all” little shit from back then up until now. what happened to him now? did his character get any resolution? was his past revealed? why was he so salty about the sk? why did he hate ss so much? for such a central villain who paraded around in his swan coat for 400 chapters, where is he now? he’s black ink sauce for squid pasta

kubo never bothered to develop xxxhime beyond her “love” for ichigo. there had been no resolution to these feelings, so ih fans think her love will eventually be returned. it wont be returned. kubo never even bothered to resolve 1001 oother shits, they think he’s going to give her love a “resolution”? lol 

* ichigo was interested in xxxhime sexually

kubo feeds them superficial stuff, really meaningless shit. they never get anything substantial so when they do get something small, they blow it up to unrealistic proportions. 

ichigo went beetroot red when yoruichi said she would get into the pond with him. ss arc. would you say he was interested in yoruichi sexually then? he wanted to do her? lmao. 

he was trying to peek at rangiku unbuttoning her shirt. remember? he tried to peek. rukia told him to slide that finger down. 

he blushed at ikumi when she pushed his head onto her chest, he didnt even try to resist. lmao. he wanted it, then? 

he looked like he wanted to die when neliel squeezed her boobs on his face. oh yeah, he is definitely interested in all of these girls sexually. 

BOTH ichigo and renji were attracted to the girls in the royal realm and big breasted hikifune. 

AND? They tout how RENJI LOVES RUKIA. I don’t disagree, she is the most important person to him. But isn’t renji attracted to big breasted girls, too? He wanted to get his damn zan changed into a breasty woman, he was willing to pay mayuri for it. never forget that omake. But have u ever seen ihs say that Renji’s love for breasty girls has a much heavier weight than his established connection to Rukia? That his natural predilection to titties as a man would overcome his feelings for rukia? No? Then why do they constantly bring up the titties shit to belittle rukia, and belittle ichigo’s feelings for rukia by saying ichigo only likes breasty women, and that he could only be attracted to breasty women? If Renji isn’t a lecher and isn’t superficial, why would ichigo be superficial? Renji treasures his time with rukia when they were kids in rukongai, he appreciates how she saved him and their other friends, and he has an actual friendship with her. If he had eventually fallen in love with her, why is it that ihs cannot accept ichigo has fallen in love with rukia the same way renji had? 

This “titties” pinball bonus shit ihs bitch about isn’t special. it’s fanservice shit. shounen shit. girls with titties don’t make you fall in love. girls who change your life in a massive way, on the other hand - oh shit. Orgs talk about how ichigo is sexually attracted to xxxhime - im like - looool. 

* narutu 

pls don’t take narutu as a comparison. idk why ppl want to compare narutu ships, when NARUTU and ICHIGO are completely different even in their personalities as protagonists. what are u even trying to compare, when 2 boys are so fcking different from each other? dont even try to correct me about narutu’s spelling i will lol at u

this has gotten pretty long i will continue another day

ihs basically are deranged that was what i originally wanted to say. 

stupid--jimin  asked:

I just wanted to say I love your "bts as your boyfriend" series I've read a lot of these but idk yours just seems perfect :) I swear its like you personally know the boys and their personalities! haha

I! LOVE! COMPLIMENTS! LIKE! THIS! You’re sooo sweet ily~ and i wish i knew them omg

Originally posted by booptae

man i love the way i write rhys’ dialogue. i always hear troy when i proofread and that’s 👌 👌 👌 honestly.

There are too many Bellamy faces/reactions/scenes I want to gif. Seriously. Way toooooo many.

(And Bellarke. And those damn parallels.)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I want to be charming and charismatic, and I figured something out. The reason I want to be charming is because I want to brighten people’s days.

When you’re around a charismatic person, at least in my experience, you automatically feel happier and more confident and just overall better, and I want to be able to do that for people. I want to make everyone I encounter feel important because everyone I encounter IS important and they deserve to feel that way.

Anyway, this is all just some stuff I’ve been considering.