too much flawlessness in one picture

criminal activity is foreplay if you do it right

Hermione climbs through Pansy’s window at 2 o’clock in the morning, and before Pansy can manage so much as a loud, angry, and exasperated screech Hermione tosses a black bag onto Pansy’s bed and says, “Listen, I need a huge favor.”

Pansy pinches the small bag between two delicate perfectly manicured fingers and puts it on the bedside table. She hasn’t seen Hermione in weeks since she fucked off to go god knows where to do god knows what with Potter and about half the Weasley clan. Pansy, meanwhile, has been stewing, and huffing, and fucking worrying to no end.

“Fine,” Pansy turns her nose up, shaking her hair into place. Hermione doesn’t even bother to hide her wide toothy grin. 

-

Hermione’s like a whole thing with Pansy. 

She’s like, supposed to be the neat and tidy, grade grubbing, prissy, know-it-all. Which, to be fair, she is. But she’s also kind of criminal deviant with loose (at best) morals, a wicked temper, and a vindictive streak about a mile wide. On top of which, she’s also a very loud, very mean crybaby.

She wears like weird nineties throwbacks and listens to TLC at extremely high volumes basically every day. She’s small, slender, dark skinned, she used to let her hair grow out in it’s natural ‘fro but pretty recently she switched over to box braids because they’re cooler; as in not as warm. She’s a fucking vegetarian and she once spent a full month putting Draco through increasingly elaborate, expensive, and dangerous pranks because he said Foreigner was better than Kiss

Which was already dumb, but Pansy didn’t even know Hermione cared about that because she mostly listens to rap, girl groups, No Doubt, and fucking Justin Bieber.

So like, Pansy’s apparently got a very specific type and Hermione checks all the boxes.

-

In the bag there’s a pair of leather gloves, a black ski-mask, black spray paint, and like fifty hair-ties. Hermione runs down to grab drinks while Pansy changes into proper vandal gear.

“So like,” Pansy sits on the bed with Hermione, “What are we doing?”

“Do you know Cho Chang?”

Their year, Pansy has a literature critique class with her. She’s smart, kind of blunt, mostly friendly. “Yeah.”

“She found me, Harry, Ginny, and Ron smoking and told Umbridge.”

Harry and the Weasley’s, it’s always Harry Potter and the fucking Weasley clan with her. Pansy sighs, sips her diet Coca Cola.

“Fuck.”

-

There’s not actually like a whole lot that Pansy gets out of her little revenge adventures with Hermione. Well, there’s the whole viciously aroused and generally excited part of it; but it’s not really special. Hermione does this sort of thing all the time, usually with Ginny. Pansy’s really just one of many accomplices, it doesn’t really make her anything to Hermione.

Really all Pansy gets out of it, outside of aforementioned benefits, are the little things. Hermione singing along to her music off-key, tapping her fingers along the steering wheel, the sharp toothed smile she gives Pansy whenever they’re about to start and whenever their finished.

Pansy looks over to the drivers seat and watches Hermione tap her fingers on the screen of her phone while she tries to settle on a song. Pansy rolls down the window and lights a cigarette, wondering how wildly inappropriate it would be to sneak a few photos.

-

“We’re just going to spray-paint her car windows.”

Pansy stares up at Cho’s McMansion house and feels an irritated twitch run down her spine when she realizes it’s a little bigger than her house. Because helping Hermione with her little revenge plots makes Pansy extra vindictive and petty.

“I vote we get her bedroom too,” Pansy says, pulling her mask in place.

Hermione grins at her, “I like your thinking.”

-

The car is easy. Then Hermione proves to be much, much more adept at breaking and entering than any normal person should be (flawless lock picking and she knew the Changs’ security code). However, once actually in Cho’s bedroom, the both of them are thoroughly out of ideas.

Pansy catalogues the pictures (two on the desk, fifteen in a wall collage, three on the dresser, one on the bookshelf), puts the five most expensive articles of clothing on the bed, and then promptly sits down on the pillows. Hermione has grabbed the desk chair, spun it around, and propped her chin on the back of it while she sits and stares at the bed.

“Let me guess; spray paint the pictures, mess up the clothes?”

Pansy sighs, “Right? It’s just not enough.”

Hermione shrugs, “We could put raw meat in her bed.”

“Gross,” Pansy wrinkles her nose. Hermione frequently gets a little to intense for Pansy.

“I’ll see if there’s any in the freezer.”

Hermione’s prancing out the door and down to the kitchen before Pansy can say anything. Pansy sighs and gets up to find scissors to start on the clothes. 

By the time they’re all done, Pansy’s heartbroken because she can’t instagram any of it.

-

Pansy demands wine and a hot-tub dip to celebrate. Naturally, they decide to use Draco’s since Pansy has an extra key and the Malfoy’s are currently in the Hamptons. They’re also the only people Pansy knows of who have a salt water hot tub.

The clink glasses, Hermione explains her trip with Potter and the Weasley’s. Pansy spends most of her time staring at Hermione’s mouth. 

They’d just run off to get away from the parents to camp, smoke, relax. Ron brought Parvati, Ginny brought Luna; Hermione, the twins, and Harry spent most of their time playing beer pong. 

Three glasses in, Hermione is pressed right against Pansy, and Pansy licks her lips. Four glasses in Hermione has her arm around Pansy. Five glasses in Pansy watches the way Hermione’s lip curves and flexes when she smiles, sees how full her mouth is, the way the color fades into a dark pink at the seam of her lips, and kisses her.

The angle’s askew, Pansy’s a little tipsy and not as finessed as usual, but her heart is still pounding in her ears and her blood is sizzling and vibrating through her veins.

She pulls away a little too quickly. Hermione blinks, stares at Pansy, licks her lips and says, “So, is it felonies that get you going or hot tubs?”

Pansy smirks, “Actually it’s people singing Fuckin’ Problems off-key.”

Hermione splashes water at her and plants a quick, gentle kiss on her lips.

Makeup Has No Gender - L.H.

Summary: Luke’s wife Y/N is a makeup artist. Luke asks her to do his makeup one day for fun, but he quickly gets hooked and starts turning it into his hobby.

Pairing: Luke x Female Reader

A/N: This was a little idea I had in mind and idk if something like this was written before. I present to you, makeupartist!luke

- - -

Y/N was a makeup artist. She had years of experience working with MAC and Sephora, and one of the free rooms in her house with Luke was converted into her makeup room. Companies sent her freebies and whole collections before lines were even launched. Doing makeup was her passion and her career. Her husband, Luke, often sat in her makeup room with her and watched her doing her makeup with extreme fascination. Luke had never thought of cosmetics so seriously before. One day, he asked her a question that he never thought he’d ask. “Can you do my makeup?”

Ever since that day, Luke became obsessed with makeup. Y/N taught him tips and tricks, like how to get the perfect cat eye or how to get flawless skin. Eventually, aside from being guitarist and frontman for the band 5 Seconds of Summer, Luke Hemmings was a makeup artist. He kept it a secret from the fanbase at first, but they started growing suspicious. A fan left a comment on one of his instagram pictures, cracking the classic “what highlighter are you wearing”. Everyone lost their shit when he responded with “BECCA champagne pop on the cheekbones :-) but not too much, I get cakey really easily xxx”.

Luke was at the mall with Y/N, ready to make a massive hole in Sephora for their monthly stock-up, when somebody in the Starbucks line was ready to cause trouble.

Y/N’s hand was tangled tightly with Luke’s and her body was leaning into his as they waited for their drinks. She was staring at his face, admiring the soft glow on his high cheekbones and the way the light peach eyeshadow on his lids made his crystal blue eyes pop. “You look really pretty today, Lu,” she commented, squeezing his hand and smiling sweetly up at her husband. Luke blushed and bent down a little, kissing Y/N gently. “You look like such a goddess,” Luke responded. “Red looks absolutely gorgeous on your lips.”

In the midst of their little moment, Y/N heard a sound of discomfort from beside her. She slowly turned around glanced at the stranger beside them, who looked at the two in horror. “Is there a problem?” Y/N asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“No problem, I just find it a little funny that your boyfriend is wearing makeup,” The lady sneered in response, scoffing a little. “Makeup isn’t for guys. He looks ridiculous.” Luke’s smile fell into a flat line, his eyes dropping to the ground.

“Makeup isn’t just for girls,” Y/N argued back to the older woman, her hand slipping out of Luke’s as she stepped closer to the stranger. “My husband enjoys doing makeup and if it makes him happy, it makes me happy. He’s not doing you any harm, so I think you should back off and mind your own business. Your life must be so sad when you’re so close-minded, isn’t it?”

With perfect timing, the barista behind the counter popped out two drinks. “Chai frappuccino for Y/N and a s’mores frappuccino for Lucas?”

Y/N ditched the lady and grabbed their drinks, nudging Luke on the way out with an angered let’s go. Luke took his drink and followed close behind her.

As they walked out of the coffee shop, Luke felt his eyes start to tear up. “This was all a mistake, I should never have started wearing makeup,” he mumbled, voice shaky as he started to cry. Y/N sighed and stopped walking so she could turn around and look at Luke.

“Baby,” she murmured, reaching up with her free hand and gently wiping the tears away from his eyes. “Luke, you look amazing. Don’t listen to a word she said. Do you enjoy doing makeup?”

Luke nodded.

“Do you feel good when you wear it?”

He nodded again.

Y/N smiled assuringly, holding Luke’s slightly stubbly face in her small hand. “Then that’s all that matters, okay? You’re doing something you love and you shouldn’t let ignorant people bring you down like that.” Luke’s lips curved up slightly and he grabbed Y/N’s wrist, pulling her hand to his lips so he could kiss it delicately. “I love you,” he replied, bringing her in for a huge hug. Luke rested his chin on top of her head and he closed his eyes.

After a moment, he released her and sniffled a few more times. “Is my makeup smudged?” He asked, crouching down a little so Y/N could see his face better. “A little,” Y/N mumbled, handing her drink to Luke before digging in her purse for her makeup wipes. She dabbed carefully at his under-eyes, stopping the forming black mascara tears. “All better,” she smiled, tossing the used wipe into the nearby wastebin.

“Let’s go stock up on ridiculously overpriced makeup,” Luke chuckled, taking a drink of his frap before linking arms with his wife and pulling her down the sidewalk.

Update.

So….this is really me.

Well, who I want to be.

So I know I don’t look amazing in this photo -it’s very warm in my apartment right now, and really, I just feel like talking.

Normally I don’t want to talk about my life, But lately I’ve been coming out to people, so whatever. My closest friends know. My mom knows. My brother and his wife know. My dad does not…scared to tell him. And frankly, if you randomly are looking find this photo and want to give me a hard time, what are you looking for?

Sorry if there is too much nose. Maybe one day I’ll fix that. Also I really need to learn eye-makeup…..so terrible. Plus, I had bad acne growing up. I’m never going to look flawless….and I don’t have a brush -so my hair is a mess. (I think finding a new brush is the easiest part…I used to have long hair, threw them out though when I lost my hai….puppy…yes…puppy. Real hair.)

I’m not posting this picture for anyone other than myself.

I’ve been having a lot of dysphoria and anxiety lately. Can’t sleep. Can’t eat. On the positive side I am trying to lose some weight. I will not claim to know what every trans-girl goes through. I know what I want. This is just my experience. When I take everything off I hate myself because it’s not who I am. Maybe I’m just an mannish looking dude in panties. That’s not who I am in my mind. So, I’ll go with my opinion.  I am always looking for help. If you live in Toronto and would like to help I might be up for it. (Totally need a shopping friend)

I’ve been on a stress leave from work for a couple weeks. It’s given me lots of time to be myself. I’m so happy for that. Has my stress gone down? No.

I have two great friends who have been amazing. You know who you are.

I went to the MAC store downtown and (I thought I was brave) got a makeover in the busiest mall in Canada a few days ago. They helped, but I need so much practice. I was “brave” on a couple other things that day. I was happy that day.

(Sidenote -Absolutely NO judgement at MAC - it was fantastic. I felt really safe).

Fuck eye-makeup. I’m just buying a cool pair of sunglasses and we’ll be done with it all.

My life has been messed up trying to hide all these years. It’s going to be messed up for a while. Great job I think I won’t be able to handle much longer. Constant anxiety. Being too tall for…sigh…heels… But this is the path I want to take. It’s the road to being happy for me. Screw what other people think. I’ll make new friends. I’ll make new family. (I’ll probably be sad in two days, but my emotions are confident right now).

Thank you for reading. If this helps in anyway (I doubt it will) please let me know, and maybe we can talk.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for following.

-Brooke

Other Voltron Fics I Really Want to Read

- The one where Shiro can’t take any more of Lance and Keith’s bickering and, in a misguided attempt to use logic on his idiot sons, bribesconvinces Keith to shower the blue paladin with attention and compliments until Lance can finally drop this “rival” business and become a little more chill… which (of course) backfires spectacularly, because the only thing Lance is worse at handling than an insult is a compliment, Keith is maybe a little too addicted to his newfound power to make Lance blush and stutter, and good lord, the will-they-won’t-they betting pool now literally spans eight planets (thanks a lot Pidge!!). Shiro did not sign up for this nonsense.

- The one where Hunk realizes how lonely it must be on Team Voltron for Keith–Hunk, Lance, and Pidge were all team members before Voltron and Shiro is swamped trying to lead, leaving Keith about as alone as he was in the middle of the desert–so Hunk goes out of his way to become friends with Keith, something that he actually thought… would be a lot more difficult? Keith is just… kind of awkward but really nice?? Maybe only a B- listener, but super helpful guy, who knew??? Except this is fanfic, so no good deed can go unpunished. Hunk’s efforts actually end up dramatically upsetting the fragile balance Team Voltron has managed to form–Lance feels like he’s been replaced as Hunk’s best friend by filthy Keith and how the hell did Hunk get hugging privileges with Keith so fast anyway, nobody but Shiro is supposed to have Keith hugging privileges what the Quiznak, Pidge doesn’t like asking for a wrench and finding no one there to pass the right one over, Shiro realizes he hasn’t been paying much attention to Keith and tries to overcompensate from the guilt, and Keith is just really sick of everybody else’s drama. Mostly it’s about learning the difference between being a team and being real friends, which is somehow almost harder than saving the universe.

- The AU one where Pidge comes clean about being Katie Holt to Lance and Hunk right from the get-go, and they form a rag-tag team of investigators trying to get to the bottom of Garrison’s secret cover-ups and what really happened on the Kerberos mission. Only in the process of hunting for Takashi Shirogane and the Holts, they actually discover that Garrison has been covering up a hell of a lot more, from a giant blue robot lion–to an actual living, breathing furry purple alien boy who calls himself Keith and deserves a lot more than spending the rest of his life as Garrison’s guinea pig.

- The Shallura one where Shiro’s outer persona and inner self do not match at all. Outside: Calm, cool, collected, flawless leader, and picture of natural responsibility. Inside: MASSIVE NERD who is actually cripplingly shy and has no idea where he got the skills to fake so much confidence, let alone where he gets the courage to function in the same room as Allura, the most flawless being he’s ever set eyes on, the 20,000-light-years-out-of-his-league princess who can 110% crush him like an aluminum can. Shiro thinks his mature exterior has him covered. He’s got his feels on lock. Picture of professionalism. No one will ever notice his crush… Too bad for him, Allura just takes what she wants. tl;dr: Allura romances the hell out of a unspeakably flustered Shiro while four adopted children and one adopted uncle watch in morbid glee.

[he’s super famous and says in an interview that you’re his celebrity crush]

submitted by: @bubbleteamichael

Ashton Irwin didn’t like talking about crushes in interviews. He was all for talking about his family, yes, and talking about fans—but he was sick of the same question being asked in almost every interview; who is his celebrity crush?

Ashton would much rather rant about inequality or other social issues—more importantly, he would rather talk about music; but questions about these topics were asked last. If they were asked at all, that is.

But this one particular day, a photo on his twitter feed caught his eye. It was of you. It had been taken by a fan, but you looked flawless to him. Ashton had never paid much attention to photos on his twitter—except for this one. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

He was so stunned, in fact, that the picture of you stayed and floated around his mind all day.

So when Ashton and the other boys went for an interview, he wasn’t paying much attention. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t get you out of his mind.

But then, during the interview with the host who got way too excited over the fact that all four Aussie lads were single—that one question was asked.

Who was his celebrity crush?

Ashton automatically blushed and hid his cheeks in his hands—all the while, trying to look casual and not stutter.

Luke answered. Then Calum, then Michael. Then it was his turn.

“Y/N Y/L/N” he giggled out, “I saw a picture of [your pronouns] today and [Y/P] looked incredible.”

The other guys smiled. They hadn’t seen Ashton so giggly and happy before. They knew that they had to get you two to meet, one way or another.

anonymous asked:

people like you are the reasons others get depressed because their life isn't as "aesthetic" as yours, studies proved that people feel worse when they see those fake lives on fb or tumblr. you're the king of pretense but in the wrong light you and your friends are as ugly as everyone else.

I have 4 pimples on my face right now. when I wake up I have messy hair and my eyes are swollen. my lips are chapped because I bite them. I bite my nails too. And I have bags under my eyes. Sometimes I am sick and I look disgusting. when I cry I don’t look cute and when it’s windy outside my hair don’t look like the ones you see in shampoo advertisement. my friends have bad days too. some of them smoke too much. some of them drink too much. most of the time we are cold and do ordinary things. my life is not a movie and I don’t look like a model. I’m not tall, my skin is not flawless and I am not perfect in general. I’m not faking anything. I’m just showing the nice parts of my life and I have explained this thousands of time. and I am sure most of my followers know this because at least the ones who follow me since when I started knows how miserable I can be sometimes. I don’t think I have to post pictures of my tummy rolls when I sit down or when I look sick just to comfort people like you.. Oh and just for the record I am writing this while sitting on the toilet

“We’ve had a lot of horrific deaths that I’ve read through … before I’ve seen the show,” says Clarke. “And this was one in particular. I’ve never gotten crazy emotional reading them, but then that finale was the one that had me genuinely in tears when I read it. I called Kit and then called (showrunners) David (Benioff) and Dan (Weiss) and being like, ‘Are you f—-ng kidding me?’ - Emilia Clarke interview with New York Daily News

Day6 Recap at KCON NY (06.25.16)

Fan Engagement
•their first time in new york/new jersey
•FOR THE FIRST TIME
•jae’s main priority is food
•burgers and fries! shake shack!
•brian likes burritos and tacos
•dowoon really wants to see the statue of liberty
•mc- “where do you want to go dowoon?”
•*does statue of liberty pose*
•his cute engrish
•sungjin and wonpil were suprisingly quiet
•terry he was an emcee with another guy (stillnotdavid?)
•selcas with the crowd
•struggling to take selcas tbh
•terry and brian hug
•they exist, theyre hot
•dowoon is precious

Hi-Touch
•order: sungjin, brian, jae, dowoon, wonpil
•soft hands
•hi’s, hello’s, i love you’s
•brian’s cheek bones, smile, bow, existence
•they’re tall, ESP JAE OBVS
•wonpil’s big smile
•dowoon’s bottom of the ocean ‘hi’
•his shoulders too mai gawsh
•polite for days
•beautiful manly men
•much laughter
•one hug given by jae, didn’t want to get in trouble so he couldnt give anymore
•terry didn’t expect the recognition
•terry waved confusingly
•short convos
•too quick
•wonpil is the dearest thing to mankind
•sungjin’s defined facial structure

Red Carpet
•was after eric nam so there was some pushing forward
•so crowded like bruh
•pictures pictures pictures
•jae is a derp
•5 flawless men
•some interview where there was some type of conversation going on
•yelling and screaming when they left
•majority of fans- “BRIAN! YOUNGK” (including me jus sayin)

Concert
•slay
•video introductions
•jae lowkey doesnt have a role in the group haha
•noha noha noha
•beautiful harmony and backing vocals
•brian’s bass line was life and death tbh
•slayyyyy
•congratulations
•FREEEEEEE HA GEEE
•jumping
•sungjins glorious vocal chords
•more jumping lots of jumping
•jae going crazy as usual
•if jae couldve he probs wouldve ran around the stage with his guitar
•instruments that need to be plugged in aren’t portable sooo
•dowoon’s “awesome” in english
•wonpil’s a cutie pie
•play that synth boi
•again, sungjin’s blessed vocals
•teasing and stuff
•parkjaehyungian killing the crowd with english and stupidity
•"a little something something" -jae 2k16
•"a little something something" -brian following jae down the wrong path to life
•covered cnblue (im a loner), bigbang (lies), nobody but you (wonder girls)
•MAMAMOO SANG NOBODY BUT YOU WITH THEM
•SLAY TO THE 3RD DEGREE (hehe true day6 fans get it)
•walked so casually at the end
•lots of waving and smiling
•jae and eric nam hug
•SHIP THEM YES
•brian lowkey sticking close to mamamoo
•jae’s sparkly shoes
•left rather quickly actually

Back Gates
•they mustve teleported cuz i flew to the back gates and they were gone
•i think i saw jae’s blonde hair when a van flew by
•they secretly left in a food truck with jae driving