Hello, hello, hello~! I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of combined these two into an epic piece of angst, moving on, and new love ^^ I will be splitting this into two parts, because otherwise it would be too long, so please look forward to the next installment! Enjoy!
Today was the day. You would confess your feelings to the infamously stoic and emotionally constipated captain of the Sixth Division, and there were no ifs, ands, or buts to be had about it.
…Or so you told yourself.
You’d been arguing with yourself about it for the last month, and so far, nary had been done about it except berating yourself in the mirror over being such a coward. True, there was much to lose–his respect, for one thing–but the heart wanted what the heart wanted, and it relentlessly beat for the same man. It was obscenely improper to harbor such feelings for your Captain, but it was damn hard to resist when he looked like that. Being the Third Seat, however, had its perks, because aside from Renji and Rukia, you were the closest person to him at all times.
When Lieutenant Abarai was otherwise occupied with paperwork, general errands, or personal duties as a lieutenant, Captain Kuchiki always called on you to deliver messages, take care of annoying Hollows in the Human World, or finish up some of the more mundane papers Renji left unattended. You never complained, even when Byakuya–as you’d taken to calling him in your head, because he couldn’t call you out for disrespect that way–seemed annoyed, or grumpy, research and study proved that he’d sooner take it out on his lieutenant when he returned, or one of the more…eccentric captains, than on you.
The longer you were around him, the harder you fell, and you never really tried to stay away. You were the first person to volunteer to take on extra work, or train some of the Green Horns when your schedule was free, and no one batted an eye when you did, because as the Third Seat, wasn’t that your job? You liked your position well enough, and the work load never bothered you, but if the bonus was extra time with the captain? Well, who could say no? The only people to notice were, coincidentally, the only two who would notice something like that, Renji and Rukia. Rukia was supportive, and encouraged your crush, but Renji was on a whole different level. He was your number one cheerleader, and he was the only reason you’d managed to psych yourself up enough to finally do the deed.
To prepare for your inevitable confession, you performed your duties flawlessly. You usually did, to be sure, but you went out of your way to go the extra mile and assist Renji, scold some new recruits before Byakuya could hear about their less than stellar achievements of the day and get a hold of them, and even took it upon yourself to tidy up the front of the division–namely, sweeping when there was nothing else to be done. As you were sweeping, a shadow fell over your dust pile, blocking the sun from hitting you, and you blinked up only to find your captain standing there, evidently finished with his weekly captains meeting.
“Hello, Captain,” you beamed, pausing your cleaning enough to give him a light bow. You were shaking with nerves, trying to muster the courage to say the things you were dying to. They danced on the tip of your tongue, your mind ready to speak them… What came out, however, was: “Did the meeting go well?”
Captain Kuchiki, expressive as ever, only nodded briefly as he stood with his hands at his sides. “As expected, there was nothing noteworthy to speak of. It is relatively peaceful, for the time being, so these meetings are pointless.”
You giggled. Typical Byakuya, not one to waste energy on things that didn’t require it. You loved seeing this side to him to, when his guards were down just a fraction, so that you got to see the parts of his personality that he tended to bury when dealing with his subordinates, his rigidly traditional family, or anyone else for that matter. When he quirked an eyebrow at you, you could already hear what he was going to say before he said it.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, taking you in with a slow, deliberate gaze. Swallowing, you gripped the broom a little tighter, something of an anchor to ground yourself. “And why are you sweeping the barracks? That should be left for those with less substantial duties.”
“Oh, I finished all my work!” you replied hastily. “I didn’t think it would be good to just sit around doing nothing, so since I was free I took it upon myself. I get…antsy without something to do…”
When you stopped, you looked down, and there was a silence that followed. You could feel Byakuya gazing at you, steady, looking for holes in your statement, and upon finding none, exhaled lightly.
“It is…admirable,” he started, as if unsure of the right words to use, “that you would continue to work when you’ve finished for the day.” Smiling, you finally looked back up at his face. “However, that doesn’t mean the Third Seat of the Sixth Division needs to be out cleaning. I have some papers I need to go through, so if you’re that desperate for work, then come.”
Turning like the graceful noble he was, he walked past you silently, and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face. Byakuya never asked for help. He was quite capable of dealing with the hefty workload that accompanied being a captain, and he never even asked Renji for assistance unless it was absolutely necessary. You couldn’t help but feel at least a tiny bit special, and the gentle fluttering in your chest pressed you forward.
“Captain!” you called to his back. He slowed, half-turning to meet your eyes with that signature somber expression.
“Yes, what is it?” His deep, even voice made the fluttering quite erratic, and you took a deep breath in an attempt to quell it.
“If possible,” you began, standing as straight and tall as possible, trying to exude the confidence you so desperately needed through your posture, “could I have a moment of your time after work?”
He didn’t answer right away, but there was something that crossed his face that gave you reason to pause. Fidgeting with the broom handle still within your grasp, processing what you hoped was warmth that made its way to your stoic captain’s features, you waited. Then, he closed his eyes on a sigh, and turned back around.
“Once we’ve finished the paperwork in my office,” he said smoothly, “I’ll give you as much time as you’d like.”
Having sent your heart into a state of elation, the detached nobleman continued his way inside the barracks while you blushed. You could barely form a coherent thought, and you were glad that there was no one around to watch you flounder for direction as you carried the broom just inside the door, and followed Byakuya to his office.
The paperwork wasn’t difficult so much as mundane, but you were both proficient and dutiful, so the stack dwindled to completion rather quickly. He gave you a little less than half of the stack to complete, partially due to the nature of the documents, you thought, and he dismissed you once you were finished to gather your belongings, and wait for him outside the barracks. You couldn’t help the giddy feeling in your gut at the idea that you were waiting for Captain Kuchiki to finish work. You weren’t really expecting too much, after all, if you were rejected it would be much easier to deal with without having anticipated something grandiose. Regardless, you savored the feeling of waiting for the one you liked after a satisfactory day of work, but you still thought you had somewhat of a chance.
Hearing the doors to the barracks open, it really struck you how lucky you were. It wasn’t often that the captain of any squad got out of work on time. They didn’t have a set schedule, as it were, but leaving their office as a reasonable hour was a rare occurrence. It almost, dare you think, felt like a date. Turning with a genuinely happy smile on your face, you faced your expressionless captain head on…and the words died on your tongue.
Byakuya had said he would as much time as you wanted when you were both finished, though he didn’t really look like he was in the mood to speak. Don’t be silly, you told yourself, Byakuya always looks like this. This is just his face… It did little to quell your nerves, however.
“G-Good evening, Captain,” you greeted, internally smacking yourself at the quiver in your voice. “Have you finished what you wanted?”
“I have finished enough,” he replied, tone flat. His gaze froze you in place, something in them always sent a shiver of want through you. “What is it that you wanted to talk about, ___?”
“W-Well…” Gathering your thoughts, you took a deep breath, then leveled him with your most confident gaze. “I want to preface this by saying that I have an immense amount of respect for your position, both has Captain of Squad Six, and as head of the Kuchiki Clan, so I mean no disrespect, but I’ve been mulling these feelings over for a while now. So, um, Captain…? I really like you, a-and not because of your position! It’s just, I love the way you care about your subordinates, even though it may not always look like it. I like the way you’re always sure about your convictions, and you never back down when it’s something important to you. You can be uptight, but no one can really blame you with the responsibilities you bare, and I think it’s all very…captivating, for lack of better word. Uh…”
Trailing off, you decided that that was quite enough of a confession, and it was time to see what his response was. When you finished your piece, you’d averted you eyes nervously, but now rose them to try and read Byakuya’s expression. His face, however, held nothing. It was the same face he used in every situation, whether tense or mirthful, betraying nothing about what he was thinking or feeling. If anything, it seemed even more closed off than usual, even his eyes showed no sign of acceptance—or rejection, for that matter–and your heart sank. It was a long shot, and you knew it, but you had dared to hope, and now you were paying for it. Although it looked like he was debating on what to respond, you knew the answer, and you didn’t want to hear it said aloud.
“A-Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that.” You bowed, plastering a small smile on your face. “You don’t need to respond or anything, I just… Thank you for listening. Excuse me!”
With another curt bow, you used your Shunpo to get as far away as you could as fast as possible. Not that you Captain couldn’t catch if he wanted to, and you foolishly hoped that he might, but he didn’t. Of course he wouldn’t. He was a man with a position to look after, a man who didn’t have time for such trivial things as a lover, at least not now. It was no secret to you that Byakuya was once married, and you and your naivety had thought that maybe you could he would give you a chance. But you were wrong, you thought.
By the time you reached your own quarters, it hit you that you were crying. Ah, yes, the familiar sting of heartbreak. Laughing self-deprecatingly at yourself, you let yourself feel miserable for the rest of the night, and resolved yourself to move on from this experience in the morning. For now? Girlfriends and ice cream were in order…
This is for every Shiro involved ship cause I’m tired of everyone coming for each other cause ya all extra as hell 🙄 ship what you wanna seriously cause the creators are saying a bunch of shit then theres things like this on their official shit. Like they saying five teenagers from earth, that includes Shiro. Also if you seen the video where the creators were agreeing to Shiro being an adult they looked like they were just tired of everyone and just agreed to it so people would stop asking cause they seem not to even know wtf they’re doing right now. People have mentioned this in other posts so here are the receipts lol.
so a lil while back i bought some dark red dye (the type of red u see in work places a lot bc it’s like the One Daring Colour you can get away with) because i knew having pink hair wasnt going to do me any favours but more than that, i havent done my roots in a while and that’s even worse lmao
so i thought it was a fab idea to bleach my roots and dye my hair red at 1-3am. it looks ok and my roots are sorted at least lmao i also had a tiny hair cut recently so wow i actually had enough dye for once bc my hair was long and thick.
ill likely put up a selfie before the interview tomorrow. or well. later since it’s coming up to 3am.
I’m so happy about this because we are finally able to get some kind of closure of the lust arc . I think the lust arc was the worst time ichigo and orihime ever had to live . Ichigo because he completely lost control of himself and his powers and went as far as to kill one of his ennemies and to hurt Ishida and Orihime because she saw the man she loves turn into ‘ a monster’ all while believing it was her own weakness and inability to fight that provoked it all .
And look at them now . Ichigo is smiling like that to reassure Orihime but there is also a little bit of pride in himself in this smile . I think Ichigo is finally happy that he was able to fully control and understand his powers . He believed for such a long time that the hollow inside him was a beast that he would have to control all his life and here he is proud that it is not the case . Proud of his powers , proud of his heritage and the mixed powers he got from his mom and dad . Ichigo is proud of himself because he understood that there was no monster inside him that could one day hurt his friends . He is proud because he was strong enough to accept his nature and the entirety of his powers .
And Orihime who always believed herself to be weak and a burden and who is so sure Ichigo’s transformation on the dome was because she was unable to fight . She is fighting beside Ichigo just now . She is helping , protecting him . And she understands Ichigo is not losing himself ever again . She understands that in the dome she did not wake up the monster in Ichigo but a part of his very soul . A power she thought he couldn’t control . But now he is strong enough to control it . He is strong enough to fight with it and protect his friends with it and not hurt them because of it like before .
So yes this smile is there to reassure Orihime but also to tell her “Hey Inoue , look how strong I got . Now I’m finally strong enough to protect all those I care about . I’m strong enough to control my powers and not lose myself ever again and hurt one of my friends”